Reddit user u/fuzzyloulou sparked a lively online discussion, as people spilled the tea about what they hate the most abouttheir in-laws, and we’ve collected the juiciest stories to share with you. Check them out below, but be prepared to witness what it looks like when someone has no respect for anyone’s boundaries.
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My mother-in-law is always cooking good a*s food and making me fat. It’s all her fault!
My FIL called my wife and her 3 sisters wh*res all while standing I’m MY house. Reason you ask? They all got married outside of the Catholic faith. We haven’t spoken in 6 years. Best 6 years of my life.
They live 3,500kms away. It’s a little closer than I would like.
The secret to getting along with your parents-in-law, as well as anyone else, is setting, communicating, and enforcing healthy boundaries. If someone keeps walking all over us, butting into our lives, and making us miserable all the time, clearly they have very little respect for us.It would be wonderful if they suddenly became fully self-aware and changed their behavior, but life rarely works this way. So it falls to you to let them know how their behavior is affecting you and to tell them what you expect from the relationship moving forward.
The secret to getting along with your parents-in-law, as well as anyone else, is setting, communicating, and enforcing healthy boundaries. If someone keeps walking all over us, butting into our lives, and making us miserable all the time, clearly they have very little respect for us.
It would be wonderful if they suddenly became fully self-aware and changed their behavior, but life rarely works this way. So it falls to you to let them know how their behavior is affecting you and to tell them what you expect from the relationship moving forward.
My husband’s mother and 2 sisters really went out of their way to make me feel unwanted and unliked early in our marriage. They judged me, gave me the cold shoulder. Criticized everything I did. Jokes on them. My husband and I have been married for 30 years. So I learned a lesson: screw the naysayers. Haters gonna hate.
Oh God, do I have stories. My MIL is one of the cheapest people I have ever met and a hoarder. For my sons first birthday she gave him a roll of paper towels because…“Look! he loves it, doesn’t even know whether it is a toy or not!” At age 3 for Christmas she gave him some random toiletries and cleaning supplies she bought at the dollar store, wrapped them and everything. Now I have to give my boy credit on those…after he opened them he said “This Christmas Sucks!” which caused major drama for my wife and I.
My mother-in-law is a religious zealot who legit hates more than half of her children. One is a lesbian, one is trans, my wife is non-binary, their other brother is gay. But she doesn’t know he is.
Some of the signs that you might havetoxic in-lawsinclude them disregarding your feelings, being invasive in your marriage, and being overly self-involved. Not only that but psychotherapist Dr. Susan Forward also notes that the worst parents-in-law will also try to one-up everything that you do and will gossip about you behind your back.A few other red flags to look out for include in-laws who are overly critical of everything and anything that you do (nothing will ever be good enough for them), hold grudges, make you feel like you’re inferior, and enjoy stirring up as much drama as they can.
Some of the signs that you might havetoxic in-lawsinclude them disregarding your feelings, being invasive in your marriage, and being overly self-involved. Not only that but psychotherapist Dr. Susan Forward also notes that the worst parents-in-law will also try to one-up everything that you do and will gossip about you behind your back.
A few other red flags to look out for include in-laws who are overly critical of everything and anything that you do (nothing will ever be good enough for them), hold grudges, make you feel like you’re inferior, and enjoy stirring up as much drama as they can.
I loved them so much. They expressed their love for me, for almost 40 years. I hate they got old and died.
The constant criticism. I married their only son and nothing I do is good enough. My house is never clean enough, my one year old doesn’t “behave”, and my cooking sucks. The passive aggressiveness is so overwhelming.
Aside fromsetting proper boundaries, it also helps if you try to emotionally detach yourself from whatever drama your in-laws whipped up this time around. Don’t judge yourself too harshly even if they keep criticizing you, and if everything else fails, spend some time apart from them.For instance, if they keep butting into your lives, you may want to ask them not to come over so often because you and your partner are both incredibly busy. You can do this gently, politely, and diplomatically, but it still needs to be said. Your in-laws might think that they’re doing you favors out of love and they might not realize they’re being a nuisance. Or they know exactly what they’re doing and you need to be firm with them.
Aside fromsetting proper boundaries, it also helps if you try to emotionally detach yourself from whatever drama your in-laws whipped up this time around. Don’t judge yourself too harshly even if they keep criticizing you, and if everything else fails, spend some time apart from them.
For instance, if they keep butting into your lives, you may want to ask them not to come over so often because you and your partner are both incredibly busy. You can do this gently, politely, and diplomatically, but it still needs to be said. Your in-laws might think that they’re doing you favors out of love and they might not realize they’re being a nuisance. Or they know exactly what they’re doing and you need to be firm with them.
My MIL is overly Christian… And reminds us regularly we’re going to hell because we don’t go to church. My incredible wife responds with either, see you there or, that’s where all our friends are going, why wouldn’t we want to go!
I absolutely love my in-laws, but compared to my family they are REALLY loud. Like instead of taking turns talking they just talk louder over each other until someone listens. I leave with a headache, and that’s including times I sneak to an empty room for peace.
My MIL isn’t too nice to the kids. Granted, she has 15 grandkids, you can tell which ones she likes more. And less. My kids are in the middle.
I hate that my father-in-law was a pig headed son of a b***h and refused the vaccine. Left my wife with ashes.
There’s nothing I hate about my in-laws but my MIL occasionally says some things that give me pause when she’s in the room. For example, she wished me a happy birthday recently to which I casually replied, “Just another trip around the sun.” My comment resulted in a 20 minute lecture about how the sun actually orbits the Earth based on her visual observation of it rising in the east and setting in the west every day. I often wonder how much of my partner’s childhood trauma is a direct result of her mother’s “unusual” beliefs.
How critical they are of my partner. He is loving, kind, smart and unique. Nothing he ever does will ever be enough for them. As a result he has major anxiety and perfection issues. He’s hard on himself and constantly apologizes over minor things. I wish he knew how awesome he is. For this reason I’ve chewed out both his dad and mom with them being clueless as to why. What issues? I’d love to be close to them if things were different; however see how dysfunctional they are and am totally okay with zero contact.
My wife’s dad is a very “I’m right, or you’re wrong” kinda person. If he’s not right, he refuses to admit it and will just leave and not speak to you for a long time. Then show back up and act like nothing happened.
My mother in-law abused my wife physically and emotionally. She is the cause of her PTSD, and I suspect, her anxiety. The woman is a narcissist who uses people and then drops them if they lose value. When my father in-law was in the hospital for his third stroke, she preyed upon his family, asking them for money to pay her bills. No one knows what she did with the money, and my heavily disabled father in-law swiftly lost his home (despite the loans supposedly being for the mortgage payment). We have gone as no contact as possible.
Hate is a bit strong, but I judge my step-MIL because she posts EVERYTHING on Facebook. I swear she can’t take a s**t without posting.
How fake they are. They just care about their image and how they appear to others, very little, if anything, is genuine about them.
MIL refuses to discuss anything that bothers her. She just goes dead silent for a moment, then pivots to a different subject.
Oh man, how much time do you have? Number one thing is that they are drama vampires. They can’t live without it. Everything is about them, and if it isn’t, it will be soon. They are cartoonishly childish and it’s as ridiculous as it is sad. I feel terrible for my spouse and her siblings. Every family get-together is a sh*tshow. Number two is that they can’t make a plan without overcomplicating the ever-loving s**t out of it, which my wife has inherited.
They are all incredibly judgemental, a lot of times very self-centered and a hodge podge of other cliches of in-laws from Hell.MIL once called me a lazy as because I lost my job and couldn’t get another one.We had just lost our home and that job at the beginning of the pandemic due to the pandemic.I was a “lazy as” because I couldn’t get a job during a time when the world had just shut down, people were dying from Covid and my wife and I are homeless. I’m a lazy a*s though, apparently.
Their refusing to acknowledge our kid(s) due to not being baptized in Christianity. They now do but it took years. What’s even worse is my spouse won’t acknowledge it even happened. Or he’ll say it’s in the past. Pisses me the fk off. Still does. They were a****s for years. I refuse to go see them. I’d rather study in school.
They disowned my wife for marrying me and they hate me because I’m non-binary.
They are christian, right-wing, QAnon’ers. If it gravitates to politics, I feel like I can’t keep up with all the conspiracy theories unless I keep my phone out to Google topics. If I don’t know of some backwater story, they delight in trying to make me seem like I’m ignorant to the world’s biggest news reveal.We are getting better at shutting down these conversations with simple phrases or just walking away.
My MIL is a major narcissist and racist.
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The way they travel. Constant need to overpack,shop for st to take home, etc always results in like half a dozen overweight suitcases and carry-ons that they then ALWAYS have to re organize to handle the weight and they ALWAYS expect everyone in the group to pack light to accomodate incase they have to dump st on you….. I hate it and it pisses me off everytime.
They have no concept of privacy, and they are fighting each other all the time, then come to me as if they wanted me to take sides. Nope.
My MIL still blames me for moving her daughter away and still can’t believe we moved for better economic opportunities 11 years ago. She will call my wife and cry almost every other night about how she doesn’t know how much time she has left and refuses to visit even when we offer to pay the travel expenses. She puts on this poor me sob story everytime we visit. My GOD just STFU!
My MIL is the cheapest woman I have ever met. I have hundreds of stories and examples. Last Christmas, she gave me a can of nuts from Goodwill. She said she didn’t feel comfortable getting us a wedding gift. She won a cruise to Alaska, and she took our son, which was very sweet, but she refused to pay for anything during the trip. They ate sandwiches in the room and spent most days walking around Juneau. He wanted to come home on day two. I have fixed things, helped her move, mowed her lawn, and a dozen other things. She has never once bought dinner as a thank you or to celebrate a special event. I remember years ago, we had a bad time and asked if we could live in her house for two months. She insisted on charging us rent. She has missed funerals and weddings because she will not pay for travel or a hotel. I will stop now because I could go on forever.
I had a step monster in-law from hell. It took about two hours with her before she started the southern Baptist c**p and how everything was hell. My kids figured it out when they were young. My ex wouldn’t stand up to her and felt obligated to visit, etc.
That they loved my husband the least of all three of their kids and massively enabled their drug addicted mentally ill “special” child at my husband, mine and my kids expense.
They have four kids, the only boy is their favorite and they ignore their daughters which includes my wife. The heartbreak on her every time they blow her off to go spend more time with their son is gut wrenching. They took him to Vegas, on her birthday, two years in a row.
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They are very nice people. They paid for our wedding and honeymoon and I can’t thank them enough for doing that for us. The only thing I dislike is how they talk to their daughter. They promise things and then act like they didn’t promise anything. Ever since I’ve known her, they treat her like she knows nothing and she has to do everything that they say otherwise they won’t help her at all.
They are terrible with money and have tried to drag my immediate family down with them. I’ve had to stop acting like an ATM for them, and they’re resentful that we won’t support their BS anymore.
Mine used my wedding as their own personal photoshoot, often taking their son/my groom away to snap family pictures. They then posted all the pictures of themselves in the group chat, and only one of me, which was just of my back at the altar. They also managed to get a photo of just the groom cutting the cake alone, without me in the photo, though we were obviously standing close together. I don’t think they were malicious; they’re just very self-centered people with zero social awareness.
The gossiping about us to anyone who will listen. And the guilt trips. Every single guilt trip tactic to get us to drag our family of four across the country to go see them. Also, that they were absolute shut parents to my husband. Both allowing physical, mental, and verbal abuse to run rampant and then have the audacity to expect a relationship with their adult child.
They don’t ever communicate to my wife about really important s**t.Hey 👋 driving down for radiation let’s meet upWhat … 👀
My MIL shows no emotions at all, can’t tell what the hell mood she is in. My FIL RIP was just genuinely fun to be around, he was a cut up, and would go out of his way to make sure everyone is having a good time.
Constantly undermining my parenting and treating my husband and I like we’re children. It’s so frustrating especially since we live next door.
Toxic boomer traits. Treated my wife like st while she lived there. Now they trying that st again on my daughter. Swiftly dealt with that s**t.
Same thing I hate about my own family- religious extremists. But TBH, his are not nearly as bad as mine.
I get along great with my MIL and FIL as individual people and have close relationships with both. But good god they have a horrible relationship. It’s really awkward sometimes. I have no idea how or why they are still together. They literally hate each other.Edit: early in our relationship I attempted to gently inquire about what I had observed after getting to know my wife’s parents a bit. Before I even finished asking she just casually said “yeah they should have divorced a long long time ago, we (her siblings) all think they need to give it up”
My MIL loads the dishwasher like a f****ng animal.
My sister-in-law is one of the most toxic people I know. Total narcissist. Everything must be all about her at all times. And her husband is a codependent simp who enables her behavior.The rest of my in-laws are cool though.
They are amazing people. If the world was like them, we’d have kindness and peace.But since you asked, broke-people mentality. They live beyond their means and the second you bring up anything regarding budgeting/saving/investing, you (me) are viewed as cheap/don’t know how to live life/etc.
You know those white women who start drama with black women and then turn around and act the victim. My MIL does that.Spends too much money on a gift you already said you didn’t want(Kurig) and gave multiple reasons. Open up the gift, smile politely and say thank you and put it to the side with the other items. 20 minutes later she just randomly throws a tantrum about how we don’t like anything she gives us. We said NOTHING other than thank you. We didn’t act crazy excited but we controlled our faces and were politeShe cooks exactly the food you don’t like and then gets upset when you try it but don’t like it.So much around the bad food and her two face behavior when she is around her family.She magically made it infertility problems all about her. Should have never told anyone tbh
How little they seem to care about my partner. Since he didn’t choose Maga or the LDS church, he’s lucky if he gets a phone call on his birthday.
They are good people, but they are also the pickiest eaters I have ever met. It has to be genetic. Their entire diet consists of Rice-A-Roni, overcooked, baked chicken, and Ragu pasta. They will not venture out and try anything that they deem too ‘exotic’ or potentially mildly spicy. For example: Chicken tacos sound too wild for them. It has to be Taco Bell-style ground beef.
Mil is the sweetest person on earth, but she loves to touch people. I dislike anyone but my husband and son touching me. No reason for it, I just don’t want to be touched.FIL looks like the villain from Up and acts like Sheldon Cooper, only throw in Boomer humor/racism with it. The important thing is, HE knows he’s charming and the smartest person in the room, even if no one else thinks so.Luckily, MIL divorced FIL 30 years ago.
That she died too soon and won’t get a chance to see her grandchild grow up.
Alcoholism.
How s****y their relationship is. It’s gotten bad recently. My mil was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few months ago and my FIL immediately acted as if she’s already dead. Ever since I became a part of that family, almost 20 years ago, I wondered why they were together. Mom has moved out of the house and wants to sell it; FIL wants to sell and move to Florida where he doesn’t know anyone and keeps saying, “no on will take care of me.” FIL makes no sense and I’m here for the ride. It sadly makes me happy that my family is dead.
All the meth, thievery, and abuse of people kind enough to try to help them.
My FIL is a piece of st alcoholic that makes my wife an emotional mess. I’d like to think she’ll feel better after he finally drinks himself to death, but I doubt it. 23 years of putting up with that f***g guy and his ability to make my wife sad.
I really really like my in-laws. That being said…They keep a “Young Earth” book on their coffee table. They are super conservative and religious.
They cook their bacon to an absolute C R I S P
For the most part, nothing, I love them more than my own parents. However, my MIL can be a little mean and impatient with my FIL, his hearing is not that great and she knows that. I wish she would just chill a little.
I’m divorced now but when I was married I honestly liked my in laws. They had much different upbringings than me but surprisingly similar worldviews. MIL could be kind of rude with service workers like waitstaff and what not, though, which is a big turn off to me.
My mother-in-low is mentally unstable. That the jist of it.
Their constant need to invite us out.
MIL is incredibly overbearing to my wife.
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