You know that moment when you say something and quickly realize that that was astupidthing to say? Well, some people never come to such a realization.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
COVID isn’t real. Damnit, I worked in a hospital during COVID. DO NOT TELL ME COVID IS NOT REAL. And especially when I am sick for 10 days with.
RELATED:
I’m sure I’ve heard something more dumb but someone once said to me, “Snakes aren’t animals. They’re lizards.“When I told him that snakes and lizards are both reptiles and reptiles are animals he said, “Clearly you haven’t done your research.“I have a degree in biology.
My aunt (who was pushing 40) wondered if she needed to worry about prostate cancer, since her grandfather had it.This is the same aunt who insisted that the Dutch are from Denmark. When I told her the Dutch come from the Netherlands she was like “no, sweetie, those are Neanderthals!”.
Visited a historic site with a friend, when the guide told us it was Neolithic, older than Christ, she was shocked that people existed before Christ. She’s a nurse.
Lad I used to know when we were 17 or so once said he knew someone who could run a mile in one minute. When I called b******t, he said “how tf would you know?”, so I said he’d have to be running at 60mph. He then asked me how I knew that, so I said well if he could run a mile in one minute, that means 60 miles in 60 minutes, therefore 60 miles per hour. He then said “that’s not how it works”. Bless him.
I went to see a Dr. for my neck issues. She was asking me questions. She asked about my commute to work. I said I did have a long commute. My neck would bother me while driving. The Dr. told me, in all seriousness, when traffic is stopped on the freeway get out of the car and walk around the car as many times as possible to stretch. 🤔 walk around the car while stopped in freeway traffic. I never had another appointment with her again.
“Okay well if the earth is round, then how come Australians don’t fall of?“Then she looked at me with a sufficient smirk like she just debunked centuries of science.
Old co-worker of mine:“Nowadays 12 year old girls get abortions because they think it will make them popular!“He was a f*****g idiot.
Worked on an animated movie as a group project, had this discussion;“Can you take a look at the credits and check that it’s correct?”“Yeah it looks good except you put me and Dave on character design. I did character design and Dave did the backgrounds. If you can fix that it’s all good.”“So credit Dave for the backgrounds? Like this?”“Yes, and remove him from character design”“Why?”“Because he didn’t design any characters, I designed every character on screen.”“But he drew a boat.”“Yes, but it wasn’t a sentient boat, and it was in the background. So it’s part of background design.”“But he drew a plane.”“It was also not a sentient plane. Characters are the things that are alive.”“I seriously don’t understand what you want me to do.”“Remove Dave from character design, since he didn’t design any.”“That doesn’t sound fair.”“Hi Dave, did you design any characters?”(Dave) “No, you did all of them, remember?”“See, Dave didn’t design any characters can you please remove him from character design”“Ok, if it’s that important to you🙄”.
I used to work at a CONCRETE dam. I’ve been asked 3 different times if it is a man-made dam while looking at the dam.
“You’re not really disabled tho"Just cause you can’t see my disability right away, I can function fine day to day and am not in excruciating pain 90% of the time, doesn’t mean I’m not physically disabled.Like the bones in my arm are fused together since I was born, I was never able to turn my wrist and it affects about 90% of movements I make with my hand … Sounds pretty physically disabled to me 🤷♀️.
“I didn’t think you’d really leave. You don’t just divorce someone because they are a bad husband.”- My ex. I got tons of dumb one liners from him!
I work at my husband’s auto repair shop. After discussing next steps with a customer, I told them their gas light was on. They sighed and said, “great… how do we fix that?”My response was dead silence. I was trying to determine if they were messing with me or not. They realized during my silence with the look on my face that they just needed to put gas in the car. They are one of my favorite customers now and they certainly keep me on my toes!
When I was still in the restaurant industry, someone ordered a turkey burger, medium rare. I explained that we have to serve the turkey burger fully cooked, due to it being poultry.“But it’s a burger.”“Yes, but it’s a patty made out of poultry.”“So why is it on the burger menu?”“Well, it even says on the menu that our turkey burgers are cooked well done.”“But your burgers are cooked to order.”“Yes, our beef patties are cooked to order. Turkey burgers need to be fully cooked.”She begrudgingly relented. Then complained to my then-manager that I’m an idiot.
An old ex, when I confronted him about his clashing outfit, told me he doesn’t know because he isn’t a fascist… I asked him what he meant, and he said “you know, someone who is into fashion”.My dad couldn’t stand him and thought this was the funniest joke ever.
A woman told me: “I understand boys better than you do because I have 2 sons and you don’t.“I’m a man.
During the peak of the Covid pandemic, one of my parents set me aside to express how “concerned” they were about me at work because I might get brain damage from wearing a face mask.One of my siblings works at a dental office, and they’ve been wearing face masks at work for years.
When my oldest step daughter was 15, I picked her up after her sport practice. I asked if she felt good after such good exercise. She said yes but then complained that she should’ve got a shower before I picked her up. I didn’t understand. She said “well now that my sweat dried on me, my workout won’t make a difference.“I drove in confused silence for a minute and then started giggling.“Wait, do you think that your body reabsorbs fat through your sweat if you don’t shower quickly enough?” I finally managed to ask.She also started to laugh and admitted that’s what she thought and that now that she heard it out loud, it made no sense.We talked about biology the whole trip home. She’s in her 2nd year of nursing school now and acing her classes. 🥰.
My gf once asked me why I believed in reindeers. She thought they were magical creatures like dragons or unicorns.
A coworker (a morbidly obese fellow) said that he didn’t need to do cardio because he drank coffee and energy drinks. Because those things made his heart beat faster, and that’s all that cardio is, he doesn’t need to exercise.Completely and totally serious to the point that he absolutely could not understand why people waste their time running, bc energy drinks exist.
My cousin once asked “where do astronauts land when it’s only half a moon?”.
Atheists worship the devil.
My great uncle continually says “Gay people will raise gay children.“Last time he said it, I said “Oh absolutely! Because straight people ONLY raise straight children right?“He stopped talking about it now.The best part?He has no idea my Mum is gay, and she raised myself and my brothers alone. My father is a POS. 🤷♀️.
“how was i supposed to know the strawberry açaí had strawberries in it” after giving it to somebody allergic to strawberries.
Working in the meat department of a large grocery chain:“What’s the difference between a fresh and a frozen turkey?““Is……is this a trick question?”.
That he didn’t believe Africa was real.
Mom once told teenage me that getting an internal ultrasound meant that a robot took my virginity. I think she cried over this, IIRC.
Someone told me that drones were an extreme security threat, which is a fine argument to make (as long as you have the evidence to back it up), but then he instantly followed up with the comment: “But how do the spies fit inside the drones? These drones have to be pretty big to fit the people inside.” This had me dumbfounded.
Pointing at a photo of a cave in the distance I took in Israel. “In that cave they found the 2000 year old Dead Sea Scrolls.“My friend “Were they still alive?“Me befuddled, “Were who still alive?““The squirrels. The Dead Sea Squirrels. “.
You should give every guy that approaches you a chance even if you aren’t attracted to them because you might learn to love them. As a woman that is the right thing for you to do.This was said to me on Reddit when I stated that I won’t date Conservative/Republican men. I was accused of bullying and hate speech and a bunch of butthurt men reported me. I almost lost my account. 😡🤬😤.
I had a female co-worker who got really upset when Prince Harry got engaged to Meghan Markle. When I asked why, she said it was because she wanted to be a princess. I laughed, because that’s a very silly thing for an adult to say and I genuinely thought she was joking. She just looked at me dead in the eyes, super serious, and said again “I wanted… to be… a princess!“We all lived in a country very far away from the UK, and she had almost a 0% chance of ever meeting Prince Harry.
“No need to worry about lead contamination in our drinking water - we boil it before we drink it.” - my boss at an office based in an old Victorian school building in the UK😬🫤.
“People are not mammals. Dogs are mammals and I am not a dog. I don’t walk on four legs or have a tail. Therefore I cannot be a mammal.“She was serious. I couldn’t convince her otherwise.
“Oh, it’s like winning the lottery"After she find out i got a widow’s pension after my husband died.
I had a tooth crack in Afghanistan. Dentist f****d up the patchwork, 2 months later my root abcessed into my sinus. Incredible, unique pain. Emergency flight to a base with a dentist. They pull the tooth, which caused a hole from my mouth directly into my sinus. Took 3 weeks to heal. Dentist didnt give me a single post op painkiller. I spent all night sobbing in pain bleeding all over my shirt. Before going in the next day, the dentist stopped at my billet, sees me in a blood soaked shirt, eyes sunken and red from crying and pain and asks in complete seriousness “howre you feeling.“Bad, captain. I feel bad.
Mom heard on the news that Mars was going to be close enough to Earth to see with the naked eye.A couple of evenings later she pointed up at the sky and said, ‘Is that Mars?‘‘That’s the moon, Mom.‘‘Are you sure?‘‘Very much so.‘She’s not suffering from dementia. She’s just oblivious.
“Alcohol is so toxic to teenagers that, even a sip, gives them Toxic Shock Syndrome” - driving instructor.That’s the mildest dumb thing that was said.
Well, Jennifer, you’re Black but you’re not “Black.” You’re educated and you have class.
I used to have a friend that was convinced that if he stretched his a*****e enough he’d develop the ability to photosynthesize. He claimed thats how original humans survived since there’s no food in Africa.Apparently it’s a whole thing some people believe. People are wild.
See Also on Bored Panda
I had a high school student, in an honors level class, once ask a question (I don’t remember the exact context) “…so is that why you stop, drop, and roll when there is a fire?” She was legitimately surprised when I told her that “stop, drop, and roll” was for when YOU are on fire, not just when there is a fire.
I am adopted. I had a co-worker who expressed surprise that I have contact and a relationship with my adoptive brother because “you’re not natural brother and sister.”.
After I got sexually assaulted- ‘okay but if the roles were reversed, what would you think?’ Or ‘okay but why did you let it happen?’ Like- HUH?
A co-worker was bitching about the government helping people with healthcare, asking why they couldn’t work for it like he does.When I asked what about disabled people, or unemployed people who couldn’t find work, or people already working 2 jobs but couldn’t afford their meds, he replied, “Why do they have to live?”.
I tried to plan a festival with someone.I said we had to follow the alcohol laws in our country if we wanted to sell alcohol. She said that was stupid and unnecessary because who would shut us down. Turned out the venue refused to rent to us unless we followed the law. Who would have guessed?I also tried to explain to her that we couldn’t take money we were given to use on equipment and use it for a pizza party. She asked why not. I said because it’s embezzlement and illegal. I had to explain that to her 5 times.
“A major in psychology is so smart for job interviews because you can read the minds of people interviewing you.”.
I asked someone how tall he was & he said, “5 foot 12 inches”. I chuckled but he didn’t mean it as a joke.
Continue reading with Bored Panda PremiumUnlimited contentAd-free browsingDark modeSubscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited contentAd-free browsingDark mode
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
Subscribe nowAlready a subscriber?Sign In
Not to me, but my 10th grade history teacher insisted to our German exchange student that they celebrate thanksgiving in Germany. Like the American holiday. She wanted to know what their traditional meal was and I wish to god I was making this up. Sylvie was just like no no we don’t celebrate that and our teacher looked like a deer in headlights nodding and going yes you do! That was 20 years ago and I still think about that.
“There must have been something really wrong with you or your parents for them to give you up for adoption…so I don’t want you hanging with my daughter anymore”.
A friend of mine said I should have kids because “You get a ton of money back in taxes.“Well. I do believe all the things that kids cost through the year is a lot more money than your tax refund.
I had a bad argument with my then girlfriend which led to our breakup when she insisted that Jesus Christ was white? What’s her rationale? Her father had a framed painting (likely a poster) of a bolnd haired and blue eyed Jesus. No amount of reasoning could persuade her. That was the last straw which led to me seriously reevaluating my life decisions and what I wanted in a partner intelligence and education-wise.
That the Golden Gate Bridge connects North-America and Europe. Yeh.. don’t even ask.
“I dont believe in dinosaurs"“But . . What about all the dinosaur fossils people have found?““Obviously people buried them to be found!”.
“The cost of living hasn’t changed since the 90’s.” Coming from my father who has spent nearly 30 years and counting in finances, insurance, and fund management + housing.
When Nelson Mandela died a radio station in Milwaukee stated that the president of Africa has died.
“You could cure your diabetes if you just eat an all fruit diet”.
“I don’t plan on having an accident.“My dad’s rebuttal when we told him we were taking his drivers license away because he had cataracts, decline in vision distance (he refused to wear the prescription glasses we bought him), and he had significant neuropathy in his right foot. He was 75 years old.
I’m using a story I just posted to another thread because it’s perfect for this:I was 11 & my sister was 9. We had just moved to a new town & were with my mom at the local big box superstore. My sister had to use the bathroom, and with us being new in town, of course we had no idea where it was. We stopped a manager to ask, “Excuse me, where are your bathrooms?”I s**t you not. This was her 100% serious answer:“We don’t sell bathrooms.”.
I had a friend who told me that women pee out of their vagina.
A coworker was once talking to me about flu season & how everyone was getting very sick lately & it was “starting to feel like the zombie acropolis”.
Which one is closer, the Moon or China?– My old Neighbor.
Friend says: I am voting for George Bush because he’s Christian.I reply that John Kerry is also a Christian.Silence.
When I was working at Staples, a lady asked me if we had printers that print. I wish I was kidding.
“Wait are Islam and Hinduism the same thing?” We were in the 2nd half of a year long comparative religion class on Hinduism and Christianity.
A couple I knew told me they went a picked out a labrador puppy from a pure hunting line and then couldn’t figure out why the dog was so insane. They told me because all their friends they knew who hunted were fat and lazy they figured thats what the hunting line meant.I still think about and feel awful for that poor dog. They live in a condo and turned to a prong collar to try and deal with things instead of spending time teaching the dog a job it so desperately needed.
Traveling 200 miles through Mexico about 30 years ago via bus at nighttime and the driver never turned his lights on! I sat just a few seats behind the driver and as it was a moonlit night, he could somehow navigate the white crushed rock roads all nite without any headlights at all. I was white knuckle frozen all night for this trip and didn’t dare to fall asleep. When we got to the bus station in Guadalajara in the morning I asked one of the other bus drivers why a driver would drive with no lights at all; he looked at me like I was dumb and said " To save electricity, of course.”.
Having a dog and raising a child is the same thing. This person has neither.
When I was working in accounting, a co-worker came into my office waiving an original invoice, screaming at me and demanding why it wasn’t paid. Uh, no Gina (fake name), I haven’t processed it for payment if you have the invoice in your hand. Took a few explanations for her to understand. I had many run- in with this person with similar issues.
When I first got my drivers license. Guy looked me dead in the face and asked if I wore glasses. While I was wearing them.
Working at a sushi place in Luxembourg. A customer asked me if the fish was local. How??
I worked in a deli one summer vacation when I was in high school. Bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with salt, pepper, and ketchup (BEC SPK) is a Long Island staple so I took a lot of those orders. SPECIFICALLY, we had a small form customers would fill out to indicate how they wanted their eggs, what kind of cheese, etc.Someone ordered a sandwich and they circled pepper where it said “salt & pepper”.I rang the guy up after the sandwich was finished and he sat down to eat it. He came up to me, handed me his form, and said he ordered his sandwich with peppers but he didn’t get peppers.I had to explain to him the pepper in salt & pepper refers to the spice and not the vegetable.
Back in 2020 while I was watching last airbender for the first time on Netflix my dad asked me why I like cartoons so much. I told him because they’re fun and a good escape from reality and his response “this generation is soft the world isn’t that bad” and mind you this was like 2 weeks into lockdown and covid.
My friend insists that he ran faster than Linford Christie but only for 3 seconds.
Modal closeAdd Your Answer!Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Modal close
Add Your Answer!Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Not your original work?Add sourcePublish
Not your original work?Add source
Modal closeModal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Modal closeOoops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.UploadUploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermarkChangeSourceTitleUpdateAdd Image
Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.
Upload
UploadError occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermarkInstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermarkFacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again.
TwitterRender conversationUse html versionGenerate not embedded versionAdd watermark
InstagramShow Image OnlyHide CaptionCropAdd watermark
FacebookShow Image OnlyAdd watermark
ChangeSourceTitle
You May LikePeople Share Things That Exist Only Because People Are DumbNeilas Šurkus30 Times People Dropped ‘Rare Compliments’ That Were So Funny And Weird, They Went Viral (New Pics)Greta Jaruševičiūtė50 Funny Memes That Men Might Find Funny, Shared By The “Men’s Humor” IG Account (New Pics)Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Neilas Šurkus
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Funny
