British satirical comedy showThe Mash Reportonce did a hilarious skit about why you should never ask a man what he’s thinking. You’ll find the clip a little further down. Basically, in the fakenewsreport a couple’s romantic weekend away was ruined after a guy’s wife wanted to know his innermost thoughts. Needless to say, his reply wasn’t what she wanted to hear. It had nothing to do with her, their holiday, their relationship, or anything of real substance. Instead, he was deep in thought about some random rubbish. And she was not impressed.While intended to be satirical and funny, the fake news clip held some good, genuine advice: Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. And, the chances are he’s thinking about nothing. Or nothing important. People have been sharing their own hilarious replies to the question “what are you thinking?” From the bizarre, to the confusing, to the downright annoying,Bored Pandahas gathered the best answers. Keep scrolling for a glimpse into themindless thoughtsof men. And don’t forget to upvote your favorites.Credits:OvidWhile the clip was part of a comedy show, the stories we collected are real and are as amusing and entertaining as the skitThis post may includeaffiliate links.
British satirical comedy showThe Mash Reportonce did a hilarious skit about why you should never ask a man what he’s thinking. You’ll find the clip a little further down. Basically, in the fakenewsreport a couple’s romantic weekend away was ruined after a guy’s wife wanted to know his innermost thoughts. Needless to say, his reply wasn’t what she wanted to hear. It had nothing to do with her, their holiday, their relationship, or anything of real substance. Instead, he was deep in thought about some random rubbish. And she was not impressed.
While intended to be satirical and funny, the fake news clip held some good, genuine advice: Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. And, the chances are he’s thinking about nothing. Or nothing important. People have been sharing their own hilarious replies to the question “what are you thinking?” From the bizarre, to the confusing, to the downright annoying,Bored Pandahas gathered the best answers. Keep scrolling for a glimpse into themindless thoughtsof men. And don’t forget to upvote your favorites.
While the clip was part of a comedy show, the stories we collected are real and are as amusing and entertaining as the skit
This post may includeaffiliate links.
My wife saw me looking out over the deck at a beautiful sunset and asked what I was thinking and I asked if I was cloned or duplicated would my clones recognize I was in charge or would they try to take over which would backfire my plan of not working to begin with. She walked back in the house.
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My girl: what are you thinking?Me: how many kilojoule of fart would it take to lift me an inch from the floor?
Thoughts aren’t tangible things like coins or pens or strands of hair. So it’s not that easy to accurately count how many of them we have on any given day. But at least one research paper suggests the human mind receives an estimated 6-8 million thoughts per day, or around 2,500-3,300 thoughts per hour.While some of these are important and useful, the vast majority are not. In fact,thisJournal of Lifestyle Medicine review notes that “a detailed assessment of these thoughts proposes 90% of the thoughts to be irrelevant”. Like some of the random thoughts listed on this page…
Thoughts aren’t tangible things like coins or pens or strands of hair. So it’s not that easy to accurately count how many of them we have on any given day. But at least one research paper suggests the human mind receives an estimated 6-8 million thoughts per day, or around 2,500-3,300 thoughts per hour.
While some of these are important and useful, the vast majority are not. In fact,thisJournal of Lifestyle Medicine review notes that “a detailed assessment of these thoughts proposes 90% of the thoughts to be irrelevant”. Like some of the random thoughts listed on this page…
Whenever my wife asks what I’m thinking about, I always tell her I’m thinking about dragons. Truthfully, neither of us were thinking about dragons, but now we are both thinking about dragons. It’s a win/win
My ex-girlfriend would always ask me “a penny for your thoughts”. It got so annoying because many times I really was thinking about nothing. She wanted to hear something romantic and there really was nothing at the moment to share. That doesn’t mean I was never thinking about her romantically. It was just not so at that moment. This is how men think. Women need to understand that.
married 22 years, I know better… when I ask, it’s because I know the answer will be ridiculous.After a romantic dinner that he made to welcome me home…Me: Babe, what ya thinking?Hub: Not much…Me: C’mon..Hub: Jack the Ripper…It’s that or the bunnies… I’d never expect some big romantic whatever…“I’m wondering if a robot might be handy”He’s the most perfect amount of weird!
My ex girlfriend once asked me while we were lying in bed, what’s your fantasy, something you’ve never told anyone? I said I sometimes fantasize about being the best footballer in the world who moonlights in a rock band……She burst out laughing
One time my ex-husband and I were laying in bed, cuddled up, secretly eating ice cream we’d hidden from the kids, and I asked what he was thinking about. I’ll never forget his answer.He said “RoboCop.”
Me: thinks boyfriend is mad bc he’s being very quietMe: “whatcha thinking about?”Him: “about how bike tires are made”????Ladies we gotta stop worrying what boys are thinking bc 9 times out of 10 it’s some dumb s**t like this
Mine and my husband’s conversation a few months ago:Me: what are you thinking about? Cuz you look super focused.Him: all the stuff I need to do on farming simulatorMe: why don’t you play it then?Him: I just wanna think about it right now, I’m not in the mood to actually play it.I laughed so hard but I get it and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Yeah, I once said I wonder why Elmer Fudd is such a bad shot. And how does the coyote keep buying all that acme stuff instead of just spending the money on a meal. I guess that’s why the relationship didn’t last long.
Me & my girl were in bed just chillin. She was reading, I was watching tv & she looked at me & said “what’re you thinking about babe?”I said “I wonder how many flavors of Gatorade there actually are.”She just said nvm & kept reading.
A few days ago my boyfriend was staring off so I was like “are you ok?” “Babe?” “Are you mad??”This man snaps out of it and goes “huh..wut? Sorry I was looking at that squirrel..look at him living his life..I wonder if he has any responsibilities“Bruh what??
During a (seemingly) sweet and tender moment last night, I asked my boyfriend what he was thinking about and he said “how devastating Wookiees would be in a medieval setting.”
When asked what I was thinking, I said I wonder how much water is in the Pacific Ocean.
Went on a walk with my gf and she asked what I was thinking about so intently so I had to tell her “right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot”
About 20 years ago we talked about getting married. He said he was going to propose at some point so I was waiting.After a couple times of wondering when and how it would happen, we were traveling together.We ended up at the Arch in St. Louis. We were wandering through the park around sunset and he started glancing around a little nervous. Then he looked at me intently and I thought “oh wow this is it.“Then he said, “I’ll be right back, I gotta [pee] and I can’t find an outhouse.”
I just asked my husband of 3 children last night, “What was the greatest day of your life?” He was really thinking hard and I said “You don’t have to choose between the kids births” and he said “Yeah that too, but I can’t lie when the Eagles won the Superbowl 7 years back that was such a great day.” REALLY!
My wife asked me yesterday what I was thinking and I answered “Ace Ventura”. No joke
We went to see Gladiator 2 recently. After the movie I was sitting thinking and my wife asked what could possibly be on my mind as I looked very serious. I replied, “how the hell did they get great white sharks into the coliseum??”
I once asked a BF what he was thinking. The answer- ‘Nothing, I was just singing a song in my head.‘Was 20 years ago, I’m still trying to decide if he was stupid or a genius.
I asked my husband what he was thinking one night laying in bed. He was staring up at the ceiling deep in thought. He said “I’m thinking about no cornices vs cornices”
Once, I was imagining that all humans had been wiped out and I was following, with my mind’s eye, a pack of dogs as they learned to fend for themselves. Just as I got to the part where they encountered a wolf for the first time, I hear, “what are you thinking?“I said, “nothing.““I know you’re thinking about something, I can tell.”
I wonder if I could bite through a crab’s leg.
After fifteen minutes of silence she said “talk to me” and I said “it’s gonna be 4 months til the karate kid movie, you wanna see it?““If I’m still here”
I wonder if I could start my own business selling sand from the beach.
My ex wife used to ask me what I was thinking alllllllllllllll the time, and I would say nothing, I’m not thinking of anything. She would keep asking me for over a year until I just said alright you want to know what I’m thinking? ’m thinking who would win between the white queen professor in a chess match on the astral plane with the x-men as chess pieces. And she got mad saying that’s what you’re thinking? I said yeah, now you know why I said nothing all those times. We got into an argument about me not being open with my thoughts and when she said I always tell you what I’m thinking I asked her how many times did I ask you? She never asked me again for the last four ears we were together.
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It took me a few times to truly understand the folly of asking a man what they’re thinking about, but the first time should have been lesson enough: when a guy responded, “I was just looking at my feet.”
The last date I went on the guy asked me the same question while we were driving.“I was thinking about the rise in lumber prices and the different reasons for it.” was not what he was expecting. I said a bunch more on my thoughts about lumber prices, but that’s not worth repeating here.We had passed a place that said they had lumber for sale.
My husband had been single for years before we married. A couple of months after our marriage I asked him why he decided to marry me. He said, to stop other women chasing him. Couldn’t he have lied.
I asked Kaylan [what he was thinking about] the other day and he said ‘how to make the perfect beef Wellington’ and like honestly, mood
My husband, his best friend, and I were at a swimming pool a couple years ago. They were on the far side of the pool, and they waved me over. So I swam all the way over there thinking they were about to tell me something important. I said what’s up? They could barely contain their laughter. And the best friend said “we’re talking about poop.” I about died laughing. Women need to have more of a sense of humor.
The other night, whilst lying in bed with my wife, she asked me what I was thinking at that very moment. I told her that I was thinking about what bulls**t I could make up, on the fly, if she were to ask me what I was thinking, at that very moment.
Back when my parents were dating, Mum asked my father this. His response? ‘Pizza.’ He thought she meant for dinner. ?
For me, it’d be random thoughts. Start on one subject, the train rolls over 2 or 3 others, while running through a few hypothetical scenarios. Usually banal stuff, and how the heck do I put that into words to follow the train when it’s nothing of import anyway? It’d take an hour to run through it all verbally, if I even remember it after ten minutes.Ergo, “Nothing”
I got annoyed at my boo once because he was quiet but he was thinking about ways he could take apart and rebuild his Xbox 💀
Years ago I heard a comedian say his wife insisted to know what he was thinking. After warning her and she still insisting she’d feel better if she understood, he said, “I’m thinking I work too much, you spend too much and I still find other women attractive. Feel better now?”
Getting ready to go out to San Francisco for New Year’s, my then gf decided to let her 15 yr old daughter do her makeup. After more than an hour, she came out with a face full of unexpected makeup and asked me how she looked. Before I could stop and think I replied ‘You look funny.‘We in fact did not go out that night after all.
My mom used to ask my dad questions like this, but eventually gave up when the answers were usually something like “Thinking about my car” or “Wondering why my car leaked oil today”.She never minded it, because at least she never had to worry about him thinking about other women or running off with them. He’d just be out in the garage with his car.
So I was chilling with my bf in the living room, and I saw him staring into absolute nothingness and I was a bit concerned but I didn’t quite pay attention.Then I saw him do it again a few times over the week and when I asked him whether there was something he was thinking, he told me he was thinking about “nothing"I didn’t quite understand, how do you think of “nothing”?
I was at a gig watching a band play and my boyfriend at the time standing close next to me leaned in to me to say in my ear.. Theres something very sexy about a female bass player
Friend’s SO once asked him why he was crying and he said, “It’s just cold outside”. Me, “Why didn’t you say ‘I’m just so happy with you”?
My wife asked me the same and I replied that a person called me and told me my car warranty was running out. I don’t know if it’s the 02, the 03, or the 06. I didn’t know that Toyota or Lincoln had over 20 years warranties.
My ex asked me once while out on a walk what I was thinking. Said “glad you are not coming hunting with us tomorrow. You are to noisy when you walk” she then asked are you saying I am heavy? Yeah the romance went out of the evening from that point on. Honesty is not the best policy. Trust me
All men are the same and think of the same things, so he was definitely thinking that he needs to replace the radiator on his 2013 Hyundai Elantra, but he said “nothing” cause he didn’t want to cause a concern.
There is lit nothing going on inside men’s heads. I asked my bf what he was thinking about while in the car and he said “making this left turn” they are truly one step above a single cell organism
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Viktorija Ošikaitė
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