Most folks would argue thatflirtingcan, in fact, be hard. You have to balance so many spinning plates, to be funny, interesting and not drive the other person away. However, there are always a few dudes out there who intentionally or even unintentionally find ways to make their attempts at flirting into a sort of “one-man-discomfort performance” for the woman he’s talking to.
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I’m a guy and I think when other guys say “she just needs to get some d**k” that it is the grossest thing ever.
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As a guy, I think it’s very important to remember that a lot of women aren’t trying to be be rude. It’s at the point where they just don’t want to attract any unwanted attention, which must suck. A comment my wife made once: Men fear rejection, but women fear r*pe or worse.
Thinking a polite rejection means ‘put more effort into it and I might say yes’.No means no.
“I know you didn’t GIVE ME your number, but I managed to acquire it without your permission and am using it to ask you out!” If we see each other regularly, ask me for it directly. If we don’t, ask the person you’re getting it from to ask me for permission first. It’s so creepy to just get a text and have to investigate who’s spreading my number around.
Guys my own age (late 20s) usually don’t do this, but middle aged men have got to stop f*****g calling me “sweetheart” or “honey”. It makes my skin crawl. It isn’t respectful or nice, it’s just creepy and condescending.
When they sit next to me and they have their arm on the back of my seat. I can’t lean back into my chair because then it’s like having their arm around me.
Dismissing complaints we make and/or requests to stop something and responding with “but women do that too”. There’s a power differential at work that you are ignoring. Grow up and develop some empathy for other people who are a bit different to you.
When they don’t understand personal space.
Your too pretty to _______.Please don’t. Also don’t tell me to smile. It just makes me angry.Edit. Also please stop saying “If you were single we’d totally hook up.” No we wouldn’t because you creepy.
“You’re prettier when you smile”
Had a coworker who was in a higher position than me massage my shoulders at my desk without my permission. Immediately reported him and he had the nerve to say to one of my coworkers “I didn’t know she didn’t like to be touched.”So… yeah. That.
Honestly ?? the way we’re talked about. how you talk about women can tell me a lot about the kind of person you are.
I’m a guy myself but I’ve heard from my GF that some people just get way too close, even while just having a normal conversation. It’s an invasion of personal space. Dudes think that just because the girl doesn’t move away at once it’s ok to be up your face.No, just because a girl doesn’t immediately jump away doesn’t mean that she’s into you. Some people just want to act polite without escalating an already creepy situation.
PUTTING THEIR HANDS ON YOUR WAIST WHEN THEY’RE TRYING TO GET PAST YOU. If I had a nickel for every guy who’s done this to me I’d be swimming in cash. The thing is, when it’s my boyfriend doing it it doesn’t even register with me because that’s someone I’m comfortable with and am ok with touching me. But SO MANY random a*s dudes do it to me. I first noticed it when I was in high school, I was really heavily involved with theatre and would sometimes be on the backstage crew, guys were really bad about it then. It happens a lot at bars and concerts too. So creepy and annoying.
WHeREs mY hUg.
Hugging me upon first meeting. Last night I had a man hug me upon meeting me, he held me way too long and slid his hands down my body to my butt. It was really uncomfortable, and even worse my friend brushed it off as him being a h***y old man. Not cool!
Ugh. Where’s my hug. And guess who! With the hands over your eyes. Or those weird creepy shoulder rubs where they stand so close to you.
Talking to other male coworkers about “wanting to hit that” when referring to a female coworker. There’s nothing more creepy to me than hearing guys talk predatorily about someone they work with on a daily basis. Especially when their excuse is, “But all the guys in the office think she’s hot.” That makes it even creepier!EDIT: Women aren’t exempt from this either.
As a guy i’d like to say that women on voice chat in video games have to deal with so much st. In about 80 percent of game lobbies girls will be made fun of or told to shut up when they talk. Because apparently making r*pe threats and saying go back to the kitchen makes you an absolute Pinnacle of comedy. All female gamers I know have given up on using voice chat because of this st.
I think the creepiest thing happens when you turn a guy down.People are pressing on and on even if you told them no in one way and another.And then you tell them “My boyfriend waits at home” and they back the f**k down.What the heck, guys? Is another guy’s possible opinion on you meeting me really worth more than my opinion?!
Attempting to flirt with me while I am at work. I’m a cashier at a retail store and the amount of times men of all ages have made creepy remarks to me and my other female coworkers is just…astounding.Also purposefully touching our hands while we hand you back your change or your receipt, very creepy.I just personally feel like I’m being put in a position where I can’t win because I’m at work and I have to be nice to you because “customer service”. It’s bs honestly.
Leaning in and sniffing. Wtf is that?
Personally, I don’t like receiving compliments on my appearance from total strangers. I think a lot of guys feel that they are being nice, but to me it feels uncomfortable and unnecessary.
Asking me out or flirting in the weirdest situationes. Like I get it, it takes courage and preparation to ask someone out or just talk to a girl, but seriously, those guys…Recently at 2am on the street, while walking my dog. I just got home earlier from workout and I was too lazy to change. This guy would follow us a few steps and made “smooch”(?) sounds to attract my attention. I’m not naive, but I always want to give people a chance to explain themselves, so I waited and had him approach me. Got the standard “Where are you from?” ,“What’s your name?” “I like your tattoo.”. I kept my replies reserved and polite, but told him that I really don’t want to talk to him. He buzzed off. My dog also made it very clear that he disagrees with him talking to me.What did he expect? 2am. Lonely street without any cafés or clubs or bars to be open at night, me walking my dog in smelly workout clothes…Edit: Accidentally hit reply before finishing what so wrote.
Being followed to closely/walked behind is pretty much the only thing that really creeps me out. Also, if a guy knows/tries to talk about something about me that I didn’t share.
If my body language says don’t touch me, then don’t touch me. Don’t come up and put your arm around me and just leave it there. Or hug me.
Explaining things to me that I JUST FINISHED EXPLAINING. And its rarely in a “there is also this,” and for whatever reason deals with things that have actually had to deal with. Like periods. Pretty sure I got this covered guys.Also, guys who tell me why some women are into women are the absolute cringiest. One notable memory is the guy I got into a fight with over why a woman would use a strap on. And no, he was not correct.
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If we’re talking for the first time, online or in real life, and they call me ‘babe’. A simple ‘hey’ or ‘hi, how are you?’ will suffice, thanks.
Men talking about how marriage is a trap and being the worst decision of their lives or being chained to one person is a common joke.. if you feel that way don’t commit? It’s creepy to think it’s normal to have that view on relationships.
I had a few guys insist on picking me up for a date. They (probably) thought they was being nice and chivalrous while alarm bells were going off in my head, I don’t want dudes off Tinder knowing where I live.
Grope girls that they are flirting with. It comes off as weird and uncalled for instead of “hot.”.
Watch “teen” or “barely legal” prn. In fact in some states, those are the top prn searches. It creeps me out because I’ve seen pop ups of those videos when watching my own stuff and the girls look 13-16 max. All I can think of is if it were legal, these men would totally go for a pubescent child. Yuck.
Put their hands on you without asking.
So how many other dudes here are just skimming the whole thread to make sure you’re not a creeper?
If I’m doing the bare minimum to occasionally reply to your constant “how’s your day?” “How’s work going?” “Have a good weekend” texts, maybe stop sending them all the damn time.And before you accuse me of wanting men to be mind readers, this is always after very direct conversations about the fact that I’m not interested in a romantic relationship, etc. these texts come off as very, “hey I still exist if you change your mind!”Along those same lines, if you’ve invited someone to do a thing a few times and its always been politely declined, stop asking. You’re annoying. If she is truly interested but just actually busy, she will initiate it when she has more time and she will show enthusiasm. Let her bring it up.
I really don’t like it when men stare at me at the gym, especially in the weight room, like obviously at my chest or my behind, even though I am just wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I am trying to work out, I want to feel safe and confident about my body. It makes me feel like I don’t belong there, or that I am just a spectacle. It ruins my frame of mind for working out; instead of focusing on achieving my goals, I feel anxious, self-conscious and even sometimes threatened. This happens every time I go to the weight room, there is at least one guy that does it. And I am not being overly sensitive, it is so blatant, like unwavering, unblinking stare, or people moving their work-out space or bench so they are across from me while I do the exercises. I almost feel like a women-only weight room is the only answer, but it shouldn’t have to be that way…just be polite and focus on yourself, your scaring me!
Some guys really try to pressure you to drink a lot and its the creepiest thing bc its so transparent.
Take the opportunity to feel up my hip curve during a hug or a photo. I always do it back to them while looking them dead in the eye with my library lady stare and it always seems to creep them out right back.Also sneak quick nose picks and think nobody notices. Barfolomew.
Somes guys will try to subtly refer to their sexual prowess. I’ve had guys ask if I think pants are too fight and is the outline of their “8 inch d**k” is noticable.
Saying, “But women do it too!” Doesn’t make anything any less terrible, and whatever creepy thing I was complaining about just makes me wary that now this guy is justifying it or trying to turn the argument on women.
I don’t know if most guys actually do this, but altering your behavior when an attractive woman enters the vicinity. My friend works right across from a popular park, and whenever I go to pick her up and wait for her, I’ll watch the people hanging around out there. Some guys just shut up and stop functioning, others start like lifting their backpacks and s**t (what???) It’s like they can’t just continue what they were doing.
Staring.I work in a warehouse that is like 95% male and had this coworker “John” who was easily in his 50’s, overweight, and wheezed just standing but that didn’t phase me. I like to think I get along with everyone and I can take a hell of a lot. Until one day one of my other male coworkers pointed out that John stared at me every second that I was in his line of sight. I’d never noticed before, but I began to take note a lot more. He really did stare at me a lot. Even when I turned to catch him at it. Never spoke to me unless he had to, he just stared. And it creeped me out far more than any off-colour or distasteful “jokes” I could get. At least with those kind of things, I could lash back, turn it around and make them the butt of that joke. But how do you quantify getting upset over staring?! Thankfully, my coworkers had my back and they went to our awesome manager who had a chat with me and then made sure John was always doing something else on the other end of the warehouse until the day he was let go.
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Staring is the major thing, but also being weird about clothing. Like instead of " I like that skirt you should wear it more, it looks nice on you” or something they are like “why aren’t you wearing that skirt? I like it. You need to wear it more.” like noooooooo thanks buddy, that’s rude for one thing and creepy for another.
When they pull your hair, like REALLY HARD, then call it cute. Wtf.
Guys in online video games. If they aren’t outright harassing me with totally inappropriate humor, they are trying to slyly get me to be their online gf. Some take longer than others, some use emotional blackmail. Then, there are the guys that are genuine, don’t want a relationship, and awesome to talk to and play games with. Those are usually the ones in relationships where the girl gets insecure and doesn’t let them play with me anymore… even thought I literally say, I am not interested. No long distance, period. I just wanna talk and joke around. No pics, from either side, let’s just f*****g game. So, in essence, either creepy or taken.
When a colleague or someone I am not close friends with calls me “sweetie”. Just dont!
Call us “mami” ugh… I don’t know if most men do that, but it’s common where I live.Again, dont know how common it is, but a guy at my job follows me and stares at me from afar. When I make eye contact with him he will either keep staring (wtf) or turn away and act like he’s doing work.Any physical contact besides a handshake or high five.
Hugging me upon first meeting. Last night I had a man hug me upon meeting me, he held me way too long and slid his hands down my body to my a*s. It was really uncomfortable, and even worse my friend brushed it off as him being a horny old man. Not cool!
WhY YoU DiDnT kIsS mE on THe cHeEK too?
Give you their seat because its ‘gentlemanly’ the awkwardly stand over you.
Show up for a date wearing a fedora.
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