More info:Reddit
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Woman shares that she just had twins and the labor was a nightmare – so when the couple’s families were able to visit, everyone was fussing over the babies
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Her husband agreed with this idea, but when her FIL found out, he was pissed – he said this was something that he had always wanted and that it was unfair
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The couple were called jerks for doing this as her FIL has always wanted grandkids to be named after him and they were taking this away from him
OP’s husband was totally on board with this; however, after FIL found out, he caused quite some family drama. The woman gave a little bit of background, explaining that her FIL has always wanted a grandkid named after him and thecouplehad already promised to give the same initials as his to their son.
The community members backed up the woman and gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge in this situation. “Why would you want to name achildafter this man? His behavior is terrible and I wouldn’t want a reminder of this person every time I wrote my kid’s full name,” one user wrote. “NTA, namesakes should be given based on the good and positive merits of the person in question. Your dad sounds like a sweetie pie and I love what he did for you,” another added.
Image credits:Dragos Gontariu (not the actual photo)
“I think that what led me to feeling like naming my son after my dad was the right choice was because after my birth when I finally got to go back home, my father made sure I was looked after,” shared the OP withBored Panda.
She added that her husband was juggling his parents, a postpartum wife and two tiny babies, so having her dad there took the load off him too. “I just realized how valuable my dad was in that moment and how great he had been for my whole life,” she emphasized.
We asked OP what was her husband’s initial reaction when she suggested naming her son after her father instead of his father, and she explained that he was alright with it. “He loves my dad too so it didn’t bother him.”
Finally, speaking about the importance for her father-in-law to have a grandkid named after him, she noted that she can’t think of any underlying reasons for such behavior. She added that she can’t imagine why having a namesake grandson would be that important to somebody.
Image credits:Edwin Ariel Valladares (not the actual photo)
She pointed out that sometimes it’s the style of the name, but even more importantly, it’s parents’ modern values to raise their children as individuals. “In the past, we expected children to ‘follow in their parents’ footsteps’ or stay in the ‘family business’ and having a matching name was how we carried that on.” However, nowadays that’s less of a criteria, so there is a big shift away from passing on names.
Now, speaking about common issues that come with naming kids after grandparents, SJ pointed out that offending one side of the family, as it happened in the story, isn’t uncommon. “One way of sidestepping is to blend a name so two grandparents’ names could be combined into a new middle name, for instance, or using two middle spots.”
SJ added that there is also the reverse, with the new parents arguing with siblings about who gets to use their grandparents’ name! “The family tree is a lovely place to look for name inspiration, but we’ve seen sisters doing battle over the name Rose after a beloved grandmother and even heard from siblings who have discussed and agreed on who gets which grandparents name before they even have children!”
Finally, we asked SJ to share some common variations or creative adaptations of grandparents’ names that she has observed parents using for their children – “Vintage nicknames as first names are booming in the charts as they ‘upcycle’ vintage names.” She added that mixing gender is really lovely – for example, Sandy for a boy honoring Sandra or Bertie for a girl, in honor of Albert.
“Playful vintage names are the next trend for 2024 with Kitty, Mitch, Howie, Marty, Gigi, Joanie. All hitting name lists in honor of loved ones but with a dusting of modern aesthetic and a nod to a more playful and child-centric era of parenting.”
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She emphasized that particularly in the US, UK, and Australia, there’s been a shift towards using meaningful middle names that are not overtly connected to family members. “Parents are increasingly choosing word names like Love, River, or even Thirteen — the middle name ofKourtney Kardashian’s sonRocky, the thirteenth Kardashian grandchild — for their babies.”
Moreover, speaking about potential drawbacks of using a grandparent’s name for a child’s first name is style. Sophie noted that these names are likely to feel outdated. “But the primary drawback of using a grandparent’s name in the middle is, as OP exemplified, jealousy and fairness. Some grandparents may feel hurt if their name is not chosen as the honor name, which can lead to family arguments as it did in the case of this Reddit user.”
Finally, she shared with us that parents who want to name their children after grandparents are getting creative these days. “We’ve seen parents use a grandparent’s nickname as the first or middle name for their child, or a more modern variation of a grandparent’s name.”
“We’ve come across multiple parents who have used the name Stevie for their daughters to honor Grandpa Steve, for example. Other parents choose to honor grandparents in a less overt way — choosing the middle name Lavender to honor a grandparent’s love of the color purple, or naming their child after the street a grandparent grew up on,” Sophie emphasized.
Redditors assured the woman that she had done everything right and sympathized for her dad
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