Navigating the wild world ofonline datingisn’t easy. You might have thousands of options to swipe through, but finding someone you’re attracted to who’s also interested in you and has similar interests can feel like finding a needle in a haystack.
So when TikTokerFi Rooneyfound a match online, she decided to get to know him for a few days before deciding whether or not they should actually meet up in person. And when she expressed that she actually wasn’t interested in adate, the man unleashed a swarm of angry voice memos on her. Below, you’ll finda videothat Fi shared featuring all of the messages she received, as well as a conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach,Jacy Robinson.
After informing a man she met online that she wasn’t interested in a date, this creator was inundated with bitter voice messages
Image credits:@therealfifilaroux
Speaker Two:“So yeah, best of luck to you, just next time, when you’re gonna let someone down, don’t make it Sunday night when they’re just chilled out. Like, God, man. Well, to be fair, I think I’ve absolutely dodged a bullet, to be honest, man, and saved myself some fuel money. So yeah. Best of luck to you.”
Image credits:Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Hassan OUAJBIR (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, yes, I feel like I’m lashing out and I’m annoyed because basically, I feel like, and this has always come across from my point of view, anyway, is that I was used because you were just a little bit bored. Then as soon as you’ve gone off and had fun, or you’ve probably shagged someone over there, I don’t know.”
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
You can see the full video with all of the voice messages right here
Dealing with rejection is an inevitable part of dating
Despite the fact that rejection is an inevitable part ofdating, it can be very difficult for some of us to take. So to learn more about this specific situation, we reached out toLicensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach,Jacy Robinson. Jacy was kind enough to have a chat withBored Pandaand break down why it can be so difficult to accept rejection.
“Whether it’s rejection or accountability, it’s hard for people to accept realities that do not align with the person they think they are,” the expert explained. “It is common for people to take rejection as a personal attack. I think this especially occurs if a person values external validation more highly than internal validation. Rejection acts as a piece of evidence that influences their unhelpful thoughts about themselves, which is unfortunate.”
Rather than sending a slew of voice memos, Jacy noted that a healthier way to respond to rejection is to simply accept it. “Radical acceptance is a great skill that requires the person utilizing the skill to accept things as they are, without judgement,” she shared. She also warned that reacting like the man in this story did is 100% a red flag. “I can also say that if someone responds [like this] in one setting, it may be generalized to other similar settings as well,” Jacy added.
“I think the issue with rejection is entitlement,” the expert noted. “It begins in childhood, when kids are conditioned to not accept no for an answer. A way to resolve this issue is to simply say no to your kids sometimes. Let them know that they are able to say no as well. Also, provide reassurance when they are told no. Being told no does not mean you are not valuable or inferior.”
It’s important not to take rejection personally
It’s natural to have a slight fear of rejection, asone studyfound that 60% of men have felt insecurities when it comes to dating, often linked to the fear of being turned down. But we have to remember not to let those worries stop us from taking any action. Relationship expert Rachael Lloyd explained toMashablethat, when we’re looking for a partner, we’re trying to find a great match. If both parties aren’t on the same page, there’s no need to even desire a relationship with them.
It’s also wise not to take rejection personally, Lloyd recommends, asyou’renot being rejected as much as therelationshipis. This person might not see a future with you because you want different things, you have different interests or you just don’t happen to be their type. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you as a person.
As Dita Von Teese oncesaid, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Not every person you encounter is going to be someone you’d like to date, and you can’t expect everyone to want to date you either. While rejection might sting in the moment, try to put a positive spin on it and realize that you’re now one step closer to finding the person you are meant to be with. You’ve eliminated one more option, so you can stop wasting your time with them and move onto the next!
Being turned down does not mean that you deserve love any less
Remember to be kind to yourself as well. Resist the temptation to believe that being rejected is because of some moral failing you have or due to your physical insecurities. You are not any less deserving of love, especially from yourself. And try not to compare yourself to others either. It can be easy to start looking at other relationships and wondering why they get to be so happy when you don’t, but being single can come with plenty of perks!
Finally, CNBC suggests that you surround yourself with people who do make you feel valued after experiencing rejection. Find friends or family members who you enjoy spending time with and who allow you to be 100% yourself around them. Don’t stop enjoying life just because a fewrelationshipsdidn’t work out.
You May Like41 Women Who Looked Into Their Men’s Backgrounds Share Their Wild And Devastating DiscoveriesMantas Kačerauskas"You Can’t Blame ‘Feminism’ On This One": Woman Shocked Lonely Friend Rejected HerIlona BaliūnaitėMan’s Refusal To Date Pregnant Woman Leads To Office Drama And RumorsIlona Baliūnaitė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Relationships
