A breach of trust is one of the quickest ways todamageafriendship. It can happen through betrayal, dishonesty, or, inthis story‘s case, losing something you borrowed.A woman lent her expensive hairstyler to a friend who claims to have accidentally lost it. The latter refused to pay for it and instead wanted to replace it with an older, cheaper version.The author, who describes herself as a “bit of apeople-pleaser,” is left confused about how to handle the situation. Scroll down for the entire text.RELATED:Losing something you borrowed from a friend can break trust and damage the relationshipImage credits:Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)A woman lost her friend’s expensive hairstyle and refuses to pay for itImage credits:freestocks / Unsplash (not the actual photo)The author refused a cheaper replacement but feels awful for her friend despite getting shortchangedImage credits:Ave Calvar / Unsplash (not the actual photo)She now asks the internet whether she was being unreasonable for wanting a replacementImage credits:LangargLending something valuable to a friend will likely ruin the relationshipWhether it involves money or an expensive hairstyler, lending something valuable to a friend often leads to undesirable outcomes. A 2019 survey fromBankratefound that 46 percent of people who loaned close kin money had a negative outcome.Thirty-seven percent of respondents reported losing the money they lent, while 21 percent claimed their relationship with the borrower was never the same again.Loaning valuables also puts the lender in a difficult position, especially when asking for them back. It is an awkward situation overall, which is likely why the author finds it difficult to deal with the problem involving her friend.Experts like Bankrate industry analyst Ted Rossman avoidlending cashand co-signing for a financial product because of the risks involved and mental stress.“Proceed with great caution on this,” Rossman toldCNBC. “Don’t lend money, don’t co-sign unless you’re prepared to lose that.”While the author and her friend may still mend their relationship, it may take a while to reconcile completely.Consistency and patience are key to regaining trust in a friendshipWhile it may be an uphill climb, regaining a friend’s trust isn’t impossible. However, there must be consistency in one’s actions, along with a show of patience. As author and TEDx CoachMichelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, SSC, pointed out, trust is quickly broken but slowly restored.“If you are inconsistent, your actions may deepen the lack of trust rather than rebuild it,” Lederman wrote in an article forLinkedIn.Along with consistency and patience, proactiveness in taking further steps to fix things is also essential. Lederman discourages asking what you can do to make it up to the person you offended, as this puts the onus on them to find a resolution.Instead, ask them what else they would like to see you do.“Having their input will keep them invested in the resolution, which is what you want,” she wrote.Unfortunately for the author, her friend seems unwilling totake responsibilityfor her actions. The unreasonable replacement offer adds further insult to injury. She may need to rethink their friendship as such incidents may only happen again.Most readers sided with the author, calling out the friend’s “unreasonable” behaviorThanks! Check out the results:

A breach of trust is one of the quickest ways todamageafriendship. It can happen through betrayal, dishonesty, or, inthis story‘s case, losing something you borrowed.

A woman lent her expensive hairstyler to a friend who claims to have accidentally lost it. The latter refused to pay for it and instead wanted to replace it with an older, cheaper version.

The author, who describes herself as a “bit of apeople-pleaser,” is left confused about how to handle the situation. Scroll down for the entire text.

RELATED:

Losing something you borrowed from a friend can break trust and damage the relationship

Woman having her hair styled with a curling iron in a salon setting.

Image credits:Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

A woman lost her friend’s expensive hairstyle and refuses to pay for it

Text about borrowing a Dyson Airwrap for a wedding due to tight finances, questioning replacement responsibility.

Text message recounting a woman refusing to go into debt by buying a friend a new hairdryer.

Text conversation showing a woman refusing debt to buy friend a new hairdryer after losing hers.

Woman using a smartphone outdoors, wearing a green jacket and graphic tee, prioritizing financial responsibility.

Image credits:freestocks / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author refused a cheaper replacement but feels awful for her friend despite getting shortchanged

Text image discussing refusal to buy a new hairdryer due to financial concerns, mentioning costs of £150 and £500.

Text screenshot about a woman’s dilemma on possibly causing a friend debt over replacing a lost hairdryer.

Woman stressed, holding her head, on a bed, pondering financial strain from not buying a friend’s replacement hairdryer.

Image credits:Ave Calvar / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

She now asks the internet whether she was being unreasonable for wanting a replacement

Advice on buying a hairdryer: choose between an older model or using a credit card option.

Image credits:Langarg

Lending something valuable to a friend will likely ruin the relationship

Whether it involves money or an expensive hairstyler, lending something valuable to a friend often leads to undesirable outcomes. A 2019 survey fromBankratefound that 46 percent of people who loaned close kin money had a negative outcome.

Thirty-seven percent of respondents reported losing the money they lent, while 21 percent claimed their relationship with the borrower was never the same again.

Loaning valuables also puts the lender in a difficult position, especially when asking for them back. It is an awkward situation overall, which is likely why the author finds it difficult to deal with the problem involving her friend.

Experts like Bankrate industry analyst Ted Rossman avoidlending cashand co-signing for a financial product because of the risks involved and mental stress.

“Proceed with great caution on this,” Rossman toldCNBC. “Don’t lend money, don’t co-sign unless you’re prepared to lose that.”

While the author and her friend may still mend their relationship, it may take a while to reconcile completely.

Consistency and patience are key to regaining trust in a friendship

While it may be an uphill climb, regaining a friend’s trust isn’t impossible. However, there must be consistency in one’s actions, along with a show of patience. As author and TEDx CoachMichelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, SSC, pointed out, trust is quickly broken but slowly restored.

“If you are inconsistent, your actions may deepen the lack of trust rather than rebuild it,” Lederman wrote in an article forLinkedIn.

Along with consistency and patience, proactiveness in taking further steps to fix things is also essential. Lederman discourages asking what you can do to make it up to the person you offended, as this puts the onus on them to find a resolution.

Instead, ask them what else they would like to see you do.

“Having their input will keep them invested in the resolution, which is what you want,” she wrote.

Unfortunately for the author, her friend seems unwilling totake responsibilityfor her actions. The unreasonable replacement offer adds further insult to injury. She may need to rethink their friendship as such incidents may only happen again.

Most readers sided with the author, calling out the friend’s “unreasonable” behavior

Online comment about hairdryer debt situation.

Text response discussing friend’s refusal to go into debt over a lost hairdryer, mentioning credit card and existing debt concerns.

Text expressing refusal to go into debt over replacing a lost hairdryer.

Comment reads, “She should replace your exact model without grumbling!” on buying friend a hairdryer topic.

Text message discussing responsibility for lost hairdryer and not going into debt.

A comment discusses refusing debt over a friend’s lost hairdryer, expressing frustration and personal responsibility.

Text post discussing a woman’s decision not to go into debt over a lost hairdryer, citing financial advice.

Text message discussing a woman’s refusal to buy a new hairdryer for a friend who lost the original.

Comment discussing refusal of going into debt over friend’s lost hairdryer.

Online comment discussing refusal to buy a new hairdryer and financial responsibility.

Text expressing strong opinion about buying a friend a new hairdryer.

Text discusses refusing debt after losing a friend’s item, emphasizing responsibility and friendship boundaries.

Text conversation discussing the cost of a hairdryer and earning advantage card points at Boots.

Comment discussing the decision not to buy a new hairdryer for a friend who lost hers, prioritizing financial caution.

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