Finding out that your spouse has been unfaithfulcan hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed with a mix of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and disbelief.
Reddit userPuzzleheaded_Ear2706was no exception. Her marriage was thrown into crisis, and she felt she couldn’t salvage it. So, the woman decided to break up with her husband.
However, as she explained in a post onr/AITAH, the man’s family thought she was making a mistake.
RELATED:
This woman made her husband’s affair public and decided to break up with him
Image credits:LightFieldStudios (Not the actual photo)
But his relatives insisted she was overreacting and urged her to reconsider
Image credits:voronaman111 (Not the actual photo)
Image credits:Puzzleheaded_Ear2706
The conflict, first and foremost, is between her and her partner
Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce,with 60% of couplesciting a partner’s unfaithfulness as a reason their union ended.
To better understand this affair,Bored Pandacontacted clinical psychologistMichael Karson, PhD, JD, ABPP, who is a retired professor from the University of Denver’s Graduate School of Professional Psychology, and had practiced clinical and forensic psychology for 25 years before entering the academic world.
“If you’re looking for signs [of whether or not your partner’s cheating], there’s already a problem,” Karson, who also co-authored the bookPatterns of Child Abuse: How Dysfunctional Transactions Are Replicated in Individuals, Families, and the Child Welfare System, told us. “[In this case,] the couple needs to discuss, perhaps with a therapist, what their goals and expectations are.”
“I have found that a lot of cheaters can get what cheating got them from flirting. More than a few couples have agreed that they are allowed to flirt as long as the person they are flirting with can’t tell they’re flirting.”
“When the person they are flirting with then expresses overt interest, it’s a kind of conquest. This is only one example of trying to get some of the needs met in a different way that doesn’t threaten the partnership,” the psychologist said.
According to him if sexual competence, teamwork, and honesty are important to a person, as they are to most people, the cheating can be devastating to one’s well-being and their sense of belonging in the marriage. So can we really judge the author of the post for leaving?
“[The help that she might need] depends on the details, but a good place to start would be [for all of us to] move toward experiencing the cheater as humiliated because of their lack of impulse control rather than experiencing the other partner as humiliated.”
Image credits:1footage (Not the actual photo)
Thanks! Check out the results:You May Like“My Marriage Seems To Be Over”: Man Admits To A 6-Year Affair, Learns Truth About WifeMantas KačerauskasWoman Breaks Off Her Engagement After Finding Out How Her SIL Really Got PregnantViktorija OšikaitėMan Accuses “Terrible” Sister Of Prioritizing Her Dog’s Life Over His Career, Family AgreesGabija Palšytė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Gabija Palšytė
Relationships
