It’s not at all uncommon for folks in modern marriages to be step parents to their partner’s kids. There is no denying that thisfamilydynamic comes with a whole host of possible issues, but, like with any relationship, at the end of the day, communication and mutual respect are going to come in handy.

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If a child does not want a party, it’s probably best to actually listen to them

Girl wearing party hat, looking upset at a birthday table.

Image credits:seventyfourimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

But one stepmom decided to spend five figures against her stepdaughter’s wishes

Couple arguing in living room, expressing frustration and upset emotions.

Image credits:djoronimo / Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits:Square_Indication_29

Step families don’t just work out, there is a lot of work involved

Woman comforting upset child on a sofa, concerned expression, while man sits beside her, related to party incident with stepdaughter.

Unfortunately, the parents tend to immediately assume that everything will work out, as, otherwise, their romantic relationship will be called into question. Realistically, in cases like this where there are two stepchildren, there will be all sorts of emotional issues that need to be resolved, particularly if one of the kids doesn’t like their step-parent.

Actually listening to people is a lot harder than the fantasies we build in our heads

Woman looking upset, hugging a child, with a man in the foreground.

Similarly, setting aside the party, it would also appear that the stepmother has a verynarrow viewof what she wants this relationship to look like. The fact that the stepdaughter has routinely refused a party should have been one, pretty clear indication. Instead of better understanding her stepdaughter and trying to build a relationship they both enjoy, she has attempted to force a traditional daughter role on her. All too often, people makeassumptionsabout what others feel and want, which, at best, breeds resentment.

Some commenters note that it would almost appear that she organized the party for herself, although this might be a reach. What is more telling is the utter inability to understand why her stepdaughter felt and acted the way she did. Later, the stepmother states that she was told the stepdaughter had social anxiety. However, how did she not realize this after multiple years together?

This event should have been a learning moment for the stepmother, for her to truly sit down and think about what she wanted and what it would cost, no pun intended. The fact that she was hurt and embarrassed doesn’t change the fact that she almost single handedly created this situation herself.

Some folks needed more info

Reddit comments discussing a stepdaughter running away from a party thrown for her.

Reddit comments discussing a woman’s stepdaughter running away from a costly party.

Reddit discussion on stepdaughter running away from a $10K party thrown for her.

Text box with comments discussing upset woman and her stepdaughter running away from a $10K party.

Reddit post discussing a stepdaughter running away from an expensive party thrown by her stepmother.

Readers mostly thought the stepmom went too far

Comment discussing upset woman over stepdaughter running away from party.

Comment criticizing a woman’s decision for throwing a $10K party for her stepdaughter who dislikes parties.

Woman upset after stepdaughter leaves $10K party with 100 guests, Reddit comment explains reasons for daughter’s reaction.

Text exchange about a woman upset her stepdaughter ran from a $10K party she organized.

Text commentary about woman upset over stepdaughter leaving a party.

Reddit comment discussing strained stepmother-stepdaughter relationship dynamics.

Text screenshot discussing upset woman over stepdaughter leaving $10K party.

Later, she shared an update

A woman looking upset in a cozy, indoor setting, wearing a white sweater, with home decor in the background.

Image credits:seleznev_photos / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text update about stepdaughter leaving $10K party, reflecting on challenges and realizations about the event’s intention.

Text about a woman sharing a disappointing birthday party experience involving a small gathering and a supermarket cake.

Text about a woman reflecting on her relationship with her stepdaughter, expressing love and feelings of being ignored.

Text message discussing woman’s upset about stepdaughter with social anxiety leaving party.

Text conversation expressing disbelief over a stepdaughter’s actions at an expensive party.

Upset woman discusses expensive party bill with husband after stepdaughter leaves unexpectedly.

Text about a disagreement over finances for a $10K party and a stepdaughter’s absence.

Text discussing a family argument over stepdaughter running away from a party.

Text about a woman upset over a stepdaughter leaving a $10K party she organized.

A family enjoying a meal together at home, featuring a man in a blue shirt with children at the table.

Image credits:monkeybusiness / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text message about no calls and seeing family dinner on social media.

Text about emotional family struggles and relationship dilemmas.

Commenters were not sympathetic

Comment criticizing a woman for throwing a $10K party for her stepdaughter, suggesting she play the victim role.

Comment questioning spending five figures on an unwanted party.

Text conversation about woman upset over stepdaughter running away from party she threw.

Online comment criticizing a woman for a party thrown for her stepdaughter.

Comment on woman upset over stepdaughter running away from party.

Reddit comment criticizing a woman for throwing an excessive party for her stepdaughter.

Text comment criticizing a woman for hosting a costly birthday party for her stepdaughter without consulting her husband.

Text from a discussion about a woman upset over her stepdaughter running away from a $10K party.

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Gabija Palšytė

Rugilė Žemaitytė

Relationships