Most relationships do involve some give-and-take, compromises and adjustments we make for each other. That being said, there is a pretty clear and normal difference between asking your partner to take care of themselves and handing them a catalog ofmajor changesyou need them to suddenly make.

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Learning your partner wants you to change your entire look can be shocking

Couple arguing in a rustic room, illustrating relationship demands and reality check themes.

Image credits:nomadsoul1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

So one woman shared all the things her now-ex decided he wanted her to do

Tweet about demands for girlfriend’s looks, with reactions and a reality check.

Tweet about a man making demands on changing his girlfriend’s looks, sparking a reality check conversation.

Tweet about a man listing demands for girlfriend’s looks, highlighting desire for her to change hair color from red to brown.

Tweet discussing a man’s demands for his girlfriend’s manicured hands and pedicure.

Tweet discussing demands for girlfriend’s makeup change, emphasizing tasteful colors and YouTube tutorials.

Tweet criticizing a man’s list of demands for his girlfriend to change her looks.

Kelly responds to her boyfriend’s demands for changing her looks, highlighting the breakup and self-empowerment.

Tweet about a man’s demands for his girlfriend to change her looks, highlighting a reality check.

Tweet about relationship demands changing looks, ending with a reality check.

Tweet about unwanted attention from an ex-boyfriend who insisted on change, gaining thousands of interactions.

Tweet response discussing entitlement and breakup in relationships.

Man on phone looking frustrated, gesturing, sitting at a table; demands for change in looks discussed.

Image credits:stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Tweet describing troubling demands and behaviors in a relationship, highlighting the need for a reality check.

Tweet discussing demands on looks when dating, highlighting reality check.

Kelly responds to a tweet, discussing women’s safety and vigilance, receiving widespread support.

Kelly tweets about being an ally and supporting women, referencing a man’s demands for his girlfriend’s looks.

Compromise is one thing, but setting “rules” about your partner’s appearance is too far

It should go without saying that your partner suddenly making demands about your appearance is a red flag. Everyone has preferences and there can be deal breakers, but, as the woman mentioned in this story, there comes a time when you have to legitimately ask “do you even love me if you want all these things to change?”

Many people have been in a situation where they make some adjustments when meeting a partner’s family for the first time, it comes with the territory. On the face of it, getting a fair warning of what they are expecting is good, however, it truly does appear that this man was using it as cover for his own preferences.

For example, telling your partner to get a pedicure to meet your parents is simply bizarre at best. While family dynamics can be complicated, it’s quite telling that he did not have her back at all. Instead of being willing to “defend” her or stand up for her, his best plan was to just demand she make a bunch of changes.

It’s important to also look at thevocabularyhe used, as it’s quite revealing about what he believes. Insulting her current looks and using his “families preferences” as a shield is both manipulative and cowardly. The woman was absolutely in the right to ask if he even likes her at all in the first place.

She made the right call to dump this guy

His reaction is also just as telling. If his family (and not him) were so demanding, he would at least understand why she would refuse. Instead, he starts making broad proclamations about what all men would want, despite the fact that he ostensibly was dating her at the time. If you have high standards, you should probably just date someone that fits what you want, not force them into a specific mold.

It’s truly pathetic that he would then spend weeks calling and texting a woman that, based on his own words, didn’t meet the standards he had in his head. Setting aside the fact that you can’t just make sweeping demands about your partner, refusing to accept that they have broken up with you is just bizarre.

Unfortunately, this reveals an underlying issue wheresome menbelieve they have the right to make these sorts of decisions. The ex’s wording is important here, he talked about looking “traditional” which, apparently included changing her hair, manicures, pedicures and no bright colors.

Truthfully, as many commenters noted, she really did dodge a bullet. Liking someone also means respecting their wishes, indeed, it’s hard to imagine a good relationship without a modicum of respect. He clearly doesn’t have any for or, nor for himself, as he kept pursuing a woman who dumped him.

Many readers agreed that she was right to leave him

Tweets about a man’s demands for girlfriend’s appearance changes, leading to a reality check.

Twitter exchange discussing a man’s demands for his girlfriend’s looks, highlighting reactions and calls for change.

Twitter thread discussing a man demanding changes in his girlfriend’s looks, prompting a reality check response.

Conversation about a man’s unreasonable demands for his girlfriend to change her looks, emphasizing self-worth.

Tweet exchange discussing a man’s controlling demands about appearance and the reality check it received.

Social media post about a man confronting girlfriend’s demands on appearance, leading to a reality check.

Twitter conversation discussing demands about changing looks, one person questions the intentions behind these demands.

Comment discussing a man’s demands for his girlfriend’s appearance and a reality check he receives.

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Tweet criticizing coercive control and psychological violence, reflecting on demands for changes in looks.

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Social media exchange discussing demands to change looks and receiving a reality check.

A few somehow took her story as a personal attack

Discussion about a man’s demands for his girlfriend’s appearance and a response highlighting his misguided approach.

Screenshot of a tweet responding to a post about demands to change looks, implying dodging a bullet.

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Tweet response about understanding issues with men.

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Tweet about a man helping someone, highlighting male bravery.

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