More info:Reddit
Image credits:PodMatch (not the actual photo)
Woman shares that she and her husband have a business and insurance and her parents are the beneficiaries if something ever happened
Image credits:Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
However, one Sunday during family lunch, her sister said that it’s weird as they are old and retired
Image credits:Exergen Corporation (not the actual photo)
She adds that her sister is struggling, has 5 kids, refuses to work, has gotten into trouble legally and allows her kids to rampage
Image credits:u/PrestigiousCar851
But she still insisted on being the next guardian, which ended in the woman listing reasons why not and that led to a lot of family drama
The author received the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and support that she did the right thing. “Your sister shouldn’t ask questions she doesn’t want the answer to. She clearly was ready to argue about it before you even said anything,” one user wrote. “I’m pretty sure the sister just wanted the money. She is seeing dollar signs,” another agreed.
Image credits:Remy Loz (not the actual photo)
Moreover,Bored Pandagot in touch withHanan Parvez, who has a Master’s in Psychology, is the founder of PsychMechanics and an author. He kindly agreed to share his insights regarding how families can heal trust after heated arguments, conflict’s impact on family members and how families can create safe space for open discussions.
“When you say something hurtful, the first thing to do is acknowledge it,” Hanan says. He adds that it’s important to not twist your words or blame the other person for being sensitive. After you have admitted it, genuinely apologize. He also notes that ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you’ is not the right apology.
“When you apologize, you re-open the doors of communication. Communicate assertively and hear their perspective as well. Finally, reach a compromise to rebuild trust,” he emphasizes.
Moreover, our relationships have a massive impact on our mental health. Hanan highlights that we are genetically programmed to cooperate with people who carry our genes, thus unresolved conflicts have a detrimental effect on our mental health. “They put our minds into an ‘emergency mode’ in which our career can also get deprioritized. They can result in overthinking, sadness, and even depression,” he adds.
And finally, speaking about how families can create a safe and inclusive space for open dialogue especially when discussing sensitive topics, Hanan states that assertiveness is key. Anyone can become aggressive or passive in the conflict, but socially skilled people deal with conflicts assertively. “If you feel you’ve been wronged, you can feel your anger. But you don’t have to express it in a hurtful manner,” he says.
So assertiveness allows you to express your concerns without putting another person on the defensive. Long story short, assertiveness naturally leads to open and safe communication.
Redditors backed the woman up and suggested how to find the right guardian
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