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However, asking for such favors can negatively affect a family’s relationships. Parola says that tension often arises when parents disagree on how their relative handles certain childcare situations or doesn’t meet their expectations. Or when they unexpectedly can’t take care of the child anymore due to illness or injuries.
Conflict may also arise when the caregiver is being unappreciated and/or overworked and they finally reach their breaking point. If they start feeling like they’re being taken for granted, parenting coach and founder of Personalised Parenting Solutions,Katherine Elizabeth, recommends being honest.
“Parents in the modern day are often overwhelmed and exhausted, they may not have realized they aren’t appreciating the help enough. But the family member also needs to manage their expectations of what they see as being appreciated and communicate this clearly. Try to pick a time when the parent is as least stressed and tired as possible!”
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It might be difficult to decline or speak up, but nailing down the tactic of saying ‘no’ is important
Meanwhile, Elizabeth says, “The family member shouldn’t move their decision or fight back if the parent gets agitated—hold the line calmly. The parent may need to go away and think about it, or calm down before coming back with anything constructive.”
Maintaining honesty and respect when declining is crucial. “Don’t lie, and don’t offer too many details,” licensed clinical social worker Lauren Schapirosays. “Always keep the reason about you because no one can argue with your needs and feelings, notes Lora Brawley, founder of Nanny Care Hub. Even though it might be tempting to lie to preserve the relationship, it often has the opposite effect, harming the relationship even further.
Elizabeth adds, “I think family members often get roped in when parents are struggling with behavior—they are overwhelmed themselves and reach out for anybody to give them a bit of respite—it’s important that parents recognize it’s not normal to feel that way, you should be able to have your children at home with you all day, and be able to get jobs done or have time to themselves, without their children constantly bouncing in demanding food or entertaining! ”
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Some readers believed that his behavior was justified
Meanwhile, others disagreed
Thanks! Check out the results:Indrė Lukošiūtė
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Monika Pašukonytė
Relationships
