I can’t imagine the pressure thatparentsfeel when naming their children. Finding a name that has a positive connotation, that both parents love and that, ideally, won’t leave their child being one of 10 Sarahs in their kindergarten class can feel like an impossible task.But when in doubt, go for something classic. If you find yourself resorting to the name of your favorite Transformer or Pokémon, you might be better suited for having a pet, not a child.Redditors have recently beensharingthe worst names they’ve ever heard for children, so we’ve gathered some of the most atrocious ones below. Please don’t take any inspiration from this list when naming your own kids, pandas, and be sure to upvote thenamesthat you hope aren’t actually on birth certificates!This post may includeaffiliate links.
I can’t imagine the pressure thatparentsfeel when naming their children. Finding a name that has a positive connotation, that both parents love and that, ideally, won’t leave their child being one of 10 Sarahs in their kindergarten class can feel like an impossible task.
But when in doubt, go for something classic. If you find yourself resorting to the name of your favorite Transformer or Pokémon, you might be better suited for having a pet, not a child.
Redditors have recently beensharingthe worst names they’ve ever heard for children, so we’ve gathered some of the most atrocious ones below. Please don’t take any inspiration from this list when naming your own kids, pandas, and be sure to upvote thenamesthat you hope aren’t actually on birth certificates!
This post may includeaffiliate links.
3 sisters named Precious, Pleasure, and Desirees Cox. I’m not even kidding I wish I was….
Labia.No. I am not joking. Pronounced La'-beeuh. Poor sod.
I work at a school… We have a Khaleesi, a Goku, a M’King, Carr’money and a Sir. Parents these days are absolutely as insane as you think.
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Inky-Skies, who posed the question, “What’s the worst name you’ve known to actually be given to a child?”
“We read a list of silly names online, and I was curious to see if people on Reddit knew someone who gave such names to their kids IRL,” she continued. “I certainly didn’t expect the post to blow up the way it did!”
I worked with somebody whose first and middle names were Tequila SunriseShe said her mom named her that because that’s how she was conceived.
Went to school with a kid who had a full beard, was 6ft4 and wide as a fridge. His name?Angel Darling.
My mom was a 1st grade schoolteacher in a very rural southern area. She once had a kid named Orgasm.I…had no words.
Because outrageous names are banned in Germany, the OP says she doesn’t personally know anyone who’s named their child something that could end up on this list. “But sometimes people will have unusual or weirdly spelled names - my own name, Riccarda, might fall into that category,” she shared.“And of course, certain names are stigmatized but legal; the female name Chantal (unfortunately my middle name, from before it became stigmatized) or the male name Kevin are examples of that here,” Inky-Skies added.
Because outrageous names are banned in Germany, the OP says she doesn’t personally know anyone who’s named their child something that could end up on this list. “But sometimes people will have unusual or weirdly spelled names - my own name, Riccarda, might fall into that category,” she shared.
“And of course, certain names are stigmatized but legal; the female name Chantal (unfortunately my middle name, from before it became stigmatized) or the male name Kevin are examples of that here,” Inky-Skies added.
Siblings: Brodeo Rodeo and Justa Cowgirl.
Former mailman here. The name that takes the cake is Marijuana Whiskey.Immediate_Revenue_90:There is a college professor named Marijuana Pepsi
We also asked Inky-Skies what she believes are the most important factors parents should consider when choosing names for their kids. “To choose a name that won’t provoke bullying or otherwise negatively affect the child’s life,” she told Bored Panda.“I think a lot of parents want the name to be funny or unique when choosing such a name, or consider it witty - but they forget that they’renaminga person, not a character or pet,” the OP says. “That person will one day grow up and apply for jobs with their name, have their own social circle and personality. It’s unfair to burden someone with a name that will ridicule them or turn them into a social outcast. That should go above the parents' need to express themselves.”
We also asked Inky-Skies what she believes are the most important factors parents should consider when choosing names for their kids. “To choose a name that won’t provoke bullying or otherwise negatively affect the child’s life,” she told Bored Panda.
“I think a lot of parents want the name to be funny or unique when choosing such a name, or consider it witty - but they forget that they’renaminga person, not a character or pet,” the OP says. “That person will one day grow up and apply for jobs with their name, have their own social circle and personality. It’s unfair to burden someone with a name that will ridicule them or turn them into a social outcast. That should go above the parents' need to express themselves.”
I read about a child whose mother named her Treblinka.When asked why, the mother said “Because it’s so pretty!” She didn’t care about the history of that name at all.(For those NITK, it’s the name of one of the Nazi death camps during WWII.).
Per freakonomics there was a family in which the dad named kid number 7 “winner”. Kid number 8 was named “loser”.Loser is a successful lawyer as of my last read, pronounces it lou-sier.
A girl in juvie court - I’m guessing at the spelling, so I’m writing it as it was pronounced- Loukeemia. I kid you not. I nearly died.
As far as what Inky-Skies thought of the responses to her post, she says, “I did read through most of them, although after the first thousand or so, it was hard to keep track of them all!““One of the funniest I saw was ‘Mnop,’ pronounced Noël - because ‘no L,'” she shared. “Another parent apparently named their child ‘Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze’ - the full name of the anime character - as a first name. A few more: ‘Sexybeth,’ ‘Placenta’ (‘because it sounds like a flower’), ‘Goldfish,’ and ‘WiFi.'”
As far as what Inky-Skies thought of the responses to her post, she says, “I did read through most of them, although after the first thousand or so, it was hard to keep track of them all!”
“One of the funniest I saw was ‘Mnop,’ pronounced Noël - because ‘no L,'” she shared. “Another parent apparently named their child ‘Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze’ - the full name of the anime character - as a first name. A few more: ‘Sexybeth,’ ‘Placenta’ (‘because it sounds like a flower’), ‘Goldfish,’ and ‘WiFi.'”
Ta’Lighta. Her last name was Kandle. I don’t know what her mother was thinking.
I knew a family that named their daughters Today, Tomara, and Ta’yestaday. Wish I was kidding.
My best friend grew up with a guy whose legal name was actually “Lunchbox.” LUNCHBOX!!!! And his younger brother’s name was “Thermos”.
Finally, the OP added that she’s “very happy that really insultingnamesaren’t allowed in [her] country, because in the end, it’s the child’s dignity that’s at stake.““Parents shouldn’t be given free reign if their goal is to dehumanize their children,” she says.
Finally, the OP added that she’s “very happy that really insultingnamesaren’t allowed in [her] country, because in the end, it’s the child’s dignity that’s at stake.”
“Parents shouldn’t be given free reign if their goal is to dehumanize their children,” she says.
My mom worked in a nicu. Someone named their daughter Chlamydia… because it’s sounds pretty… the social worker talked them into changing it thankfullyThere was also: Jellyanus (pronounced helli-ah-nas), More Money, Super Royal, Love Godess, Pajama (paj-ahma), Gary’en and Gary’on, Shaniya & Shanijah, Rowdy, Sir, Heavensentmyblessin’.
Placenta, I guess they heard it in the hospital and liked the sound.
I briefly worked with a lady who’s given name was Bunny. She worked for the Army Corps of Engineers and was terrifyingly stern - no smiling, no jokes, no funny business. Most inaptly named person I have ever met, unless her parents were into Watership Down or something.
LaDynasty = I remember many substitute teachers mispronouncing it Lady Nasty.
I have a neighbor called Batman. I think it’s dope but I couldn’t call my child that.
When I was working at a restaurant, a guy gave me a credit card to pay and I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it. His name: Alpha Gay.
Pubert.That’s it.Pubert Smith.
I booked in a woman who’s name was Clitoris.
This isn’t the worst name, it’s actually very common. But I went to high school with a girl named Casey Diaz. I didn’t make the connection until my friend just chuckled and said, ‘quesadillas, hahaha’.
My son played soccer with a kid named Anaconda.We had a customer at work who was a male named Sarah, and another customer (whose family was not American) named Mahboob.
Heard about an airline being sued because the attendants were making fun of a child passenger’s name which is, I s**t you not, Abcde. Like of course your child is going to be bullied for a fuck*ss name like that.
I once met a kid named “WiFi.” Yep, you heard that right. I guess their parents wanted them to be constantly connected…to their name!
My dad’s assistant named her daughter Slanina which essentially means “pig fat” in Romanian. She even pronounced it the same way as the word is pronounced in Romanian: sluh-ni-nuh.
ArsonloveThey called them Arson for short.
I don’t work in the porn/stripper industry but I’ve had a customer named Misty Butts and another named Krystal Power.
I once met a kid named “Cyanide.” I guess their parents were aiming for something unique, but they probably didn’t realize it’s also a deadly poison. Talk about starting life with a bang!
Delicious…. and it was a guy… you will find many funny ‘english’ names in our part of the world… many many.
I went to school with a girl named Princess. She was exactly what you’d expect from someone with that name.
I went to school with a Richard Lycker. The jokes were endless.
I knew a boy called Rambo he was 8 when the first movie came out. They changed his name within 6 months.
V*gina. Pronounced VAJ-ah-na. The mother saw the word in print and thought it was nice.
My mom knew a Harry Pitts in high school. I also work at a college and saw a student with the first name “Violence.”.
Colon. Not Collin. It may not be weird name to some people, but all I can think of is the large intestine when I hear that name.
Girl I know from college named her kid “Moatley” because she likes the idea of castle moats and the protection they provide. She’s now pregnant again, can’t wait to see what awful name the next kid is saddled with.
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I did a form in work today. The person’s first name was Amazing-Grace.
I once knew a kid named “Fiasco.” Yep, sounds like setting high expectations right from birth!
This girl I knew, her legal name was Female. Her mother couldn’t pick a name and it was left as female. Once it was too late to change, it was all hell. Everyone called her Jackie cause that’s what she wanted but legally, her name is Female. We would always fun of her and pronounce it like the word Tamale. fem-all-ee. She hated it😭.
There was a girl from my brothers school called Closure.
I had a kid in one of my classes named Forth. I don’t get it.
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Truly Scrumptious. Yes, like in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
A girl at my elementary school was named Delight Sprinkle (Sprinkle was the last name).
Spider. Also Taylour (pronounced Tay-LORE).
Worked at a school for a year and met a 7-year-old old whose first name was Alpacino. .
I have a 4th great-grandfather whose first name was Pringle… he was born in the 18th century, so I guess it’s not too uncommon for that time, but damn 😆.
Harlot.
Platano..if you’re Spanish/Carribean you’ll especially understand why naming your child that is setting them up to fail..
Girl I new once upon a time who’s first name was Candy. Last name was Bar (with two r’s).
My cousin named his son William Robert - so Billy Bob.I also knew of twins growing up named Major and Royal, not the worst ever I guess but their last name is Payne.
Met a kid named Jayarr. I asked if it meant something. Nope. One parent wanted a kid with initials, the other wanted a kid with a “real” name so they compromised. Worst compromise ever.
Philistine. Assuming that the parents were religious, the philistines were villains in the bible. wtf.
In kindergarten, a classmate was named Jackov.He was quickly given a nickname of Jake.
Stihl…Yes like the chain saw.
My cousin’s last name begins with ‘K’. He named his daughter “Kitty Kay”.Envision her initials. Also, envision her as a *grandmother with a name like “Kitty”.
I went to school with a Bacardi and her sister was called breezer 🙃.
My coworker dated a gal from the Bronx named “Bermuda Schwartz”.
Knowledge ZionThey called him KZ. I say it was a lost opportunity to call him Know for short.
My BIL swears he went to school with Justin, the son of Mr & Mrs Case.
Toss up between Khaleesi and Scotlan. Not Scotland, just Scotlan.
Two siblings named Indica and Sativa. Very clever indeed.
Riot….that should look good on the CV….
Purity lol.
In high school, I was friends with this nice kid in my English class. His name was Aryan. And he was black.
An Arabic name is called “della,دلّة” which means a coffee maker in Saudi arabic.Also, an Arabic name is called “azab,عذاب” which basically means -torture-.
Baron.
Sympathy.
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Ilona Baliūnaitė
Shelly Fourer
Larysa Perih
Parenting
