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Not everyone can afford to be a stay-at-home-mom, but this woman can and she’s not shy to tell people about it
Image credits:Roberto Nickson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman asked if she was being unreasonable for finding a man who can’t support his wife and kids unattractive
Image credits:Jopwell / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She went on to openly pity a couple who live down her street because the mom has to work long hours and doesn’t get much quality time with her kids
Image credits:Arina Krasnikova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman’s post got some not-so-positive feedback, forcing her to make it clear that she has no problem with women working
Image credits:sunshinesparklestar
The woman then explained that her original post wasn’t meant to put down women or men, but simply to state what she finds attractive in a partner
She goes on to say that she’s a stay-at-home-mom whose child has just startedschooland she’s been one since going on maternity leave. She adds that she has no plans to ever work again, and that her husband, who has his ownbusiness, earns enough to afford them a comfortable life.
Image credits:Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
That dissatisfaction is also made clear in Motherly’s parent-specific study. Answering the question “Which best describes your mentality around combining a career and motherhood under current circumstances?,” 25% of all women surveyed said they were “Frustrated—I want both but need a new arrangement at work to make that realistic.”
In her 2023articlefor The Hill, Alejandra O’Connell-Domenech wrote that dads then made up 18% of stay-at-home parents, according to a Pew Research Centeranalysis.
“The cost of childcare is really, really high and hard to get,” said Noelle Chesley, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. “So that’s going to force a lot of parents to do things that they wouldn’t have otherwise considered like having the man stay home.”
In hisarticlefor Forbes, Jack Kelly writes that, according to the Pew Research Center, an estimated 2.1 million fathers were stay-at-home dads in 2021—up 8% since 1989. The increase is attributed, for the most part, to women outearning their male partners.
With the rise of flexible and remote work models, it’s also becoming more common for fathers to work from home and look after the kids, while still contributing to the family income, either through gig work or parent-friendly contracts.
Bored Pandareached out to WebMD author Janie McQueen to get her take on the situation.
We asked her whether she thought stay-at-home moms have it easier than women who have to juggle their family with their career and she had this to say, “Well, what is easier depends. Some families struggle even with two incomes. Some come to the conclusion that childcare costs are even more than what one spouse earns, and it makes sense to “stay home”. I think “staying home” has changed, though — lots of people work from home or manage side-hustles from home.”
She adds, “Sometimes I’ve felt that it’s easier to be home — because I wanted to be. It certainly didn’t mean I was financially independent in any way. When my first husband and I divorced, I took a real income hit and was fortunate my lawyer ensured fair child support since I’d never been the primary breadwinner. I know many mothers who would be desperately unhappy to be at home. It could mean giving up a hard-earned career. Most jobs arguably can’t be done from home or on the side.”
We asked McQueen whether or not, in her experience, stay-at-home-moms seem more or less content than working moms.
She responded, “It all depends: Who’s the mom? What’s the career? What does she find fulfilling? To place pity on another woman for “having to” work could likely be emotionally unnecessary — you might not want to get to work early and bustle the kids to childcare, but it might be what she needs to be herself and realize her own potential. Either way, it’s good to be happy with your own life’s path.”
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