This is the dilemma a woman faced just one week before her wedding. She was torn between keeping her maiden name or taking her husband’s surname. She finally decided to ask people for help and figure out based on their experiences.
More info:Mumsnet
RELATED:
In many straight marriages, it’s very often the woman who is expected to take her husband’s name
Image credits:Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
This bride shared that she was on the fence about taking on a new surname and wanted to hear from netizens if they had regrets about changing or keeping their maiden name
Image credits:SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster mentioned that her surname was long, tricky, and “foreign” to English speakers, so she didn’t want to merge it with her husband’s
Image credits:Emma Bauso / pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman did add that her future husband’s surname had strong connections to her mother’s culture, and that was positively swaying her opinion
Image credits:PoptartBarry
Changing a surname can be difficult because it’s often connected to a person’s identity
It might be shocking to learn that around 70% of women in the U.S. and 90% of British women adopt theirhusband’s surnameafter marriage. Although these figures are lower than they were generations ago, changing one’s name still remains a strong religious and cultural practice even today.
That’s probably why the poster found it difficult to decide what to do about her maidenname. She was worried about regretting her decision after marriage.Researchon this topic has found that women who choose to keep their surname do so because it’s linked to their identity or their profession.
Thewiveswho want to take on their husbands’ names often do so because they feel it shows love and commitment to their spouse. Some are also forced to do it out of pressure to adhere to traditions. So, it makes sense that the OP wanted to hear peoples’ lived experiences before she made a decision.
It’s also hard to break away from this kind of practice because it dates back to the 15th century when women were legally considered their husband’s property once they got married. Only in the 1970s did laws change so that women could keep theirmaiden name.
Image credits:Arif Syuhada / pexels (not the actual photo)
Despite the increased focus ongender equality, only 5% of husbands take their wives’ surnames, and only 1% go in for hyphenation. This huge disparity is what pushed some regions like Quebec, Greece, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands to create laws that require women toretain their surnamesafter marriage.
It’s definitely difficult to decide what’s the best approach toward adopting or retaining a surname after marriage. But, if you’re on the fence like the poster, there are a couple ofoptionsthat you could pick from. You can:
Ultimately, the OP had only a week to decide what she wanted to do about her surname, although one commenter did tell her that she could change her name anytime after she gotmarried, so it wasn’t that big of a rush.
What do you think about this practice? Have you ever faced the same kind of dilemma?
Women poured in with their experiences and how they felt about changing their maiden name or keeping it
Thanks! Check out the results:
Occasions
