Giving a toast at aweddingcan be a daunting task. In 2022, there were overtwo million marriagesin total in the U.S. That’s more than two million chances for a great or terrible speech. Most guests want to hear a speech that’s not too long, somewhat humorous, and, most importantly, without any inappropriate remarks toward the bride and groom.But not every person who makes a wedding toast gets that memo. Most people who have been to a wedding or two have witnessed a speech that made all the guests look sideways andcringe in embarrassment. Wanting to know some of these stories, one netizen decided to ask others to share their wildest stories. “Giving a toast at a wedding is common,“the person wrote. “What’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone say while they were giving one?““A truly great wedding toast is all about balancing heartfelt emotions with a sprinkle of humor and relatability,” wedding planner Jamie Wolfer tellsBored Panda. She gave our readers more tips on how to craft a perfect wedding toast and shared the most memorable speech gone wrong from her years of wedding planning.More info:Wolfer & Co|Jamie Wolfer on YouTube|The Union PodcastThis post may includeaffiliate links.
Giving a toast at aweddingcan be a daunting task. In 2022, there were overtwo million marriagesin total in the U.S. That’s more than two million chances for a great or terrible speech. Most guests want to hear a speech that’s not too long, somewhat humorous, and, most importantly, without any inappropriate remarks toward the bride and groom.
But not every person who makes a wedding toast gets that memo. Most people who have been to a wedding or two have witnessed a speech that made all the guests look sideways andcringe in embarrassment. Wanting to know some of these stories, one netizen decided to ask others to share their wildest stories. “Giving a toast at a wedding is common,“the person wrote. “What’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone say while they were giving one?”
“A truly great wedding toast is all about balancing heartfelt emotions with a sprinkle of humor and relatability,” wedding planner Jamie Wolfer tellsBored Panda. She gave our readers more tips on how to craft a perfect wedding toast and shared the most memorable speech gone wrong from her years of wedding planning.
More info:Wolfer & Co|Jamie Wolfer on YouTube|The Union Podcast
This post may includeaffiliate links.
At my wedding the best man, who grew up with my husband, was very nervous to give his toast. He began strong talking about their friendship and ended with how he wished us the very best for “as long as they are married”. Our friends and family burst out laughing. He faced-palmed and corrected himself. We’ve been married 46 years and he still hasn’t lived it down!
There are six elements to giving an excellent wedding toast, Jamie Wolfer, a wedding planner atWolfer & Co., tells Bored Panda. The first two are introduction and expressing gratitude.
Then, thank thebride and groomfor including you in their special day. “You can also thank the parents or anyone who played a significant role in the wedding. It’s a great opportunity to show appreciation for the beautiful day, the food, and the company.”
I went to a wedding where the best man stood up and gave a speech as follows:“May your wedding night be like KFC, a bit of breast, a little thigh, and when you’re finished, nothing but a greasy box.“The bride and groom were furious. A lot of people laughed. The priest was one of them.
Father of the bride toasting his daughter (he has 2 other daughters as well): “You know, she may not be the smartest or prettiest in the family, but let me tell you, she has a good heart!“Like what the hell was he thinking? Everyone collectively cringed.
A great toast should be personal to thenewlyweds. “Share a funny or sweet story about your relationship with the person you’re closest to in the couple,” the wedding planner advises. “For example, I once shared a story about my sister and I dressing up in our mom’s nightgowns and pretending to be a bride and bridesmaid. It was both nostalgic and funny.“Even if you’re not a seasoned veteran of life, offer the newlyweds some wisdom. That can include some heartfelt advice or well-wishes for the couple’s future. Keep it genuine, though – no one likes clichés. And to end the toast, close with a salutation. “Something like, ‘Now, if everyone can raise a glass to the bride and groom, here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!'” Wolfer suggests. “Simple, sweet, and to the point.“The most important thing is to be confident during yourspeech. “Own that stage!” Jamie says. “Even if you’re nervous, fake it till you make it. No one knows if you skip a part, so just keep going.”
A great toast should be personal to thenewlyweds. “Share a funny or sweet story about your relationship with the person you’re closest to in the couple,” the wedding planner advises. “For example, I once shared a story about my sister and I dressing up in our mom’s nightgowns and pretending to be a bride and bridesmaid. It was both nostalgic and funny.”
Even if you’re not a seasoned veteran of life, offer the newlyweds some wisdom. That can include some heartfelt advice or well-wishes for the couple’s future. Keep it genuine, though – no one likes clichés. And to end the toast, close with a salutation. “Something like, ‘Now, if everyone can raise a glass to the bride and groom, here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!'” Wolfer suggests. “Simple, sweet, and to the point.”
The most important thing is to be confident during yourspeech. “Own that stage!” Jamie says. “Even if you’re nervous, fake it till you make it. No one knows if you skip a part, so just keep going.”
Best man speech: “Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that’s how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person .” and yeah Jackie was not very attractive.
At my sister’s wedding our father said that the only thing that worried him was that she said she wanted six children and everybody knows that one out of every six babies born today is Chinese.
Drunk maid of (dis)honor disclosed that she’d hat-tricked the bride - slept with new husband (before he and bride started dating but still, and bride was unaware), bride’s brother, and bride’s dad. She started out great but was too drunk to read her prepared notes and decided to wing it instead. That first dance after dinner was pretty awkward, as bride’s parents were very much married, and during it everyone in the room silently did the math on her conquests based on pertinent details and realized she wasn’t 18 for any of the 3 encounters.I was at a table of people who all kinda disliked the bride and even we all felt awful for her, it was so bad.Wedding cost more than my current house, and was held at a yacht club that revoked the family’s membership on a morality clause the following day.
My friend went to an out-of-town wedding where he basically only knew the groom and the girl he brought as a date. He for some reason felt compelled to do an interpretative dance instead of a speech. No one laughed and it was dead silent confusion.
Best man went on and on about how hot the bride was, and how she had nice boobs. Then ended with “breast wishes” to the couple. It was so awkward.
The father of the bride said my daughters brought some losers over the years and this is the worst one , but…
“Don’t be crass,” Wolfer moves on to the second rule. “Keep it classy, folks. This isn’t the time to share that wild story from the bachelor or bachelorette party. Be sensitive to the couple’s wishes and avoid any profanity or inappropriate anecdotes that might make Grandma blush.“One mistake that some people make before giving a toast is indulging in some serious drinking. “Don’t drink too much before your speech,” Wolfer warns. “A little liquid courage might seem like a good idea, but it can quickly turn into a rambling, awkward mess. Trust me, everyone will thank you for keeping it together.”
“Don’t be crass,” Wolfer moves on to the second rule. “Keep it classy, folks. This isn’t the time to share that wild story from the bachelor or bachelorette party. Be sensitive to the couple’s wishes and avoid any profanity or inappropriate anecdotes that might make Grandma blush.”
One mistake that some people make before giving a toast is indulging in some serious drinking. “Don’t drink too much before your speech,” Wolfer warns. “A little liquid courage might seem like a good idea, but it can quickly turn into a rambling, awkward mess. Trust me, everyone will thank you for keeping it together.”
Best man said, “I hope you (speaking to the bride) are well rested up and ready to be stretched because my boy gonna turn you into a pretzel tonight!” I’m not even fully sure what that means, but I was sitting right next to the father of the bride and he was not happy and the mother looked mortified.
My father opened his speech at my sister’s wedding with “now, I know you have both been married before, but this time, perhaps things will work out”.
Started giving a long, tearful speech about LGBTQ rights.She was straight, the couple getting married was straight, and pretty much everyone in attendance was progressive. She was just using her brother’s wedding to virtue signal. Yes, everyone here thinks gay people should be able to get married… not sure what that has to do with this couple whose toast you’re giving at this exact moment…
The wedding planner advises those who give a toast to also stay on time. “Respect the clock. A good toast is short and sweet. Aim for around 3-5 minutes. If you start rambling, you’ll lose the audience’s attention faster than you can say ‘cheers.'“Her other piece of advice is to practice. “Don’t wing it. Even if you’re a natural speaker, a well-practiced toast will always come off better. Run through it a few times in front of a mirror or with a friend to get comfortable with your material.”
The wedding planner advises those who give a toast to also stay on time. “Respect the clock. A good toast is short and sweet. Aim for around 3-5 minutes. If you start rambling, you’ll lose the audience’s attention faster than you can say ‘cheers.'”
Her other piece of advice is to practice. “Don’t wing it. Even if you’re a natural speaker, a well-practiced toast will always come off better. Run through it a few times in front of a mirror or with a friend to get comfortable with your material.”
My friend’s father (father of the bride) just listed off everything he didn’t like about the groom in his speech at her wedding. So something like “well you’re not a doctor, you don’t have all of your hair, and you’re not the smartest man she’s dated. But welcome to the family I guess.” Suuuuuuper awkward. The grooms family took the opposite direction and gushed about how much they loved my friend. Made the father look even worse in comparison.
Best man of a wedding I went to was heavily intoxicated and said something along the lines of “if only she knew what the girl looked like at your bachelor party that you were in bed with on the last night, she would understand how big of a catch she is for your ugly a*s.”They didn’t make it to their honeymoon.
This next tip might surprise some people, but knowing how to hold a microphone is also important when giving a speech. “Think Rockstar, not Ice Cream Cone,” Wolfer quips. “If you hold it too low or too far away, no one will hear you, and if you’re too close, it’ll be all garbled. Aim for that sweet spot.“If you’re giving a toast, there’s always the obligatory raise of the glass. So don’t forget your drink when you walk up to the stage. “When it’s time to toast, make sure you have your glass ready. If you forget, no biggie—just raise an imaginary one and keep the humor light,” Jamie advises.
This next tip might surprise some people, but knowing how to hold a microphone is also important when giving a speech. “Think Rockstar, not Ice Cream Cone,” Wolfer quips. “If you hold it too low or too far away, no one will hear you, and if you’re too close, it’ll be all garbled. Aim for that sweet spot.”
If you’re giving a toast, there’s always the obligatory raise of the glass. So don’t forget your drink when you walk up to the stage. “When it’s time to toast, make sure you have your glass ready. If you forget, no biggie—just raise an imaginary one and keep the humor light,” Jamie advises.
This is the story of a toast spiraling out of control. Couple in their early sixties got married in Houston, TX. Drinks were served prior to dinner. At dinner, the now-wife’s cousin rose, somewhat unsteadily, took the microphone and began her toast of the newlyweds. I remember it started fine and I wasn’t really paying attention because I barely knew anyone involved; just platitudes about the happy couple.My ears perked up - and I started to greatly enjoy the wedding - when she started talking about Jesus. So much Jesus. And so suddenly! One minute it was “I love my cousin and she looks so happy”. The next was “Praise Jesus and only He can protect the divine institution of marriage for it is to Him that we give our hearts and it is Jesus to whom we hold most dear and to Jesus that we must repent our sins . . . .” Etc. Etc.Meanwhile, one or more of her relatives, who clearly had had enough of her s**t, were trying to politely and unobtrusively get within snatching distance of the microphone. But Jesus did indeed have the Cousin’s back that day and she was able to weave and dodge, all while increasing the volume of her prayers to a Jesus that she clearly considered to be both all powerful and deaf.It was magnificent. And it was the groom who eventually was able to gently coax the microphone out of the Cousin’s hands and she triumphantly went back to her table where she spent the rest of the night getting sozzled on cheap wine.All-in-all, 14/10 as far as weddings go.
Mother’s cousin gave a best man toast for his younger brother, the groom. This was a New Jersey Italian-American wedding, where the groom’s family all hated the bride.He said, “I wish [groom] and [bride] a whole lotta laughs because this is the biggest joke I’ve ever seen.”.
“I was feeling a little nervous before my speech but I’ve just ripped a giant line in the bathroom and I’m feeling much better” - The BestmanI thought it was great, literally noone else laughed.
A good rule of thumb about what to include and exclude in your speech is to check with the couple. “Respect [their] boundaries,” Wolfer warns. “Ask the couple if there’s anything they don’t want mentioned. This is their day, and the last thing you want is to bring up a touchy subject or an embarrassing moment they’d rather forget.”
A joint parents’ toast that cleverly, relentlessly, and at-length hinted at the desire for grandchildren pronto. Really wonderful couple, went on to face heartbreaking infertility and loss. I hope they don’t remember it.
Reception at a country club with a golf course.A lot of the friends and family were members.Father of the bride explains how she was conceived on the green at hole 9.
Jamie also kindly agreed to share the most memorable toast of her wedding planning career. “One toast that still lives rent-free in my head was at a wedding where the best man decided to go full comedy roast mode. He started off strong, thanking everyone for coming and then diving straight into some light-hearted jabs at the groom.““But then he took it a step further and pulled out a slideshow of the groom’s most embarrassing moments, complete with captions and sound effects.”
Jamie also kindly agreed to share the most memorable toast of her wedding planning career. “One toast that still lives rent-free in my head was at a wedding where the best man decided to go full comedy roast mode. He started off strong, thanking everyone for coming and then diving straight into some light-hearted jabs at the groom.”
“But then he took it a step further and pulled out a slideshow of the groom’s most embarrassing moments, complete with captions and sound effects.”
The best man was drunk af, quoted Hitler, and dropped the mic 3 times.
The father of the bride said “I’ll try not to despise my son-in-law as much as I used to” and laughed hard.
I was the best man, I was giving a toast after the father of the bride, who recounted in his toast that she was born on a Middle Eastern US military base while he was serving and how he could have sold her to some sheikh. That was a hell of an act to follow.
The best man at my wedding gave a toast that was longer than our ceremony. He wore a costume. He talked more about their teachers from high school than he did about us. He brought in a guitar player that he hired to play two parody songs that he wrote that were literally just rehashing what he had already said. We actually had to cut him off so we could serve the meal.
Best man. “They say weddings are all about love and honor. I don’t know much about love, but as for honor… get on her and stay on her!”Everyone cringed so hard, especially their parents and grandparents.
However, the speech did have a happy ending. “When the best man wrapped it up with a heartfelt message about how much the groom meant to him and how happy he was to see him marrying the love of his life. It was the perfect balance of humor and sentimentality, and it left a lasting impression on everyone there.”
The bride and groom had been friends for a year and part of the same social circle. Group was supposed to go to a concert but due to circumstances, only the bride and groom showed up, got drunk, hooked up and the rest is history.One of the groomsmen told the story about how if he hadn’t gotten drunk the night before he would have went to the concert and she would be marrying him instead.It might have sounded better in his mind but it came off as selfish and jealous.
My wife has multiple female cousins and we’ve been going to their weddings for the past few years as they all get hitched. My two favorite so far:1: maid of honor/older sister gave a quick blurb about the newlyweds and then talked about herself for 5 minutes. I actually predicted she would do this beforehand and my wife got mad at me for it.2: same maid of honor/older sister along with brides twin sister putting on a two women skit about how bride is actually a secret agent (code names and all) and her mission is to capture the groom. 10 minutes of solid cringe.
It was me. I was the best man at my brother’s wedding. I said, “Here’s to hoping this straightens him out!” - Spoiler: It didn’t.
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“It was a bit of a mess, and he ended it with ‘God bless the mashed potatoes’ before stumbling off the dance floor. The whole room erupted in laughter, and it became a family legend, but it was definitely not what he had planned!”
My best man said something along the lines of “OP and I have so many memories together, but I realized that absolutely none of them would be appropriate for me to share tonight with all of you.“Had me going in the first half, but he pulled it off and got a huge laugh. I was very relieved lol.
A friend of my «John» got married last summer. Our friend «Josh» was his best man and his toast included something along the lines of: «I remember when John came back to our dorm after their first date. He was cleary in shock and seemed uneasy. After pressing him he told me that Amy had farted so hard in doggy style that he saw her b******e vibrate like a drum. And that the smell was so powerfull that he lost his erection. When he went on another day a few days later I knew they were meant for eachother.».
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The worst toast I’ve heard wasn’t because of what was said, but just how short and not thought out it was. I’m changing the names (let’s say the bride’s name is Mary and the groom’s name is Gary), the bridesmaid basically said: “Mary, you’re like a sister to me. And now Gary is my brother.“That’s it. That was the whole toast.
My friend had a toxic older brother who pretty much moved away bcs no one in their household could stand him.He came back to his wedding, and when they were about to say their wows bro stood up, asked for a attention. Their mom tried to stop him but he wouldn’t let her. And he was like " Bro I know we don’t exactly like each other, But I can’t let u marry this women without telling u this. Two years ago me and (don’t remember the name of his friend) f****d her together at a party and I have proof if u wanna see"My friend grabbed him and dragged him out and after like 5 mins he came in and just said that wedding is off. They have actually been good to each other since then.
They best man of a friends cousin gave a speech, (3 years ago) and he commented how good his pals new wife was in bed, then a big fight broke outLong story short the “best man” had been riding the buddies new wife for months before the weddingThey are divorced now.
MoH/bride’s sister said she told the bride not to go out with the groom after she met him. Basically said he was a loser because of his job (manager of a grocery store).One of the groomsmen interrupted, “he still works there.”.
There was a post in one of the advice subs from a woman asking if she was wrong for leaving her sister’s wedding. When she was a teenager OP was sexually assaulted. Since then she had a lot of trauma to deal with, but therapy was helping and she was finally getting her life back together.During her sister’s wedding the maid of honor (sister’s best friend) gave a speech, talking about how OP was a total screw up, but she finally did one thing right in helping with the wedding.OP was so upset at the reference to her previous “screw ups” and trauma she left. Her sister stopped her outside the venue and defended her friend, saying OP had to learn to take a joke. After OP left, her sister’s new husband was upset with his new wife, because he felt the joke was completely inappropriate, insensitive and in poor taste.The whole time I was reading the post, I kept thinking if I was one of the guests at that wedding I would be tempted to knock the maid of honor on her a*s.
My cousin’s father in law gave a spectacular speech at her wedding. He spent a solid 10 minutes talking about how great his son was at baseball and how everyone thought he was going to go pro while he was playing in undergrad. Then he said “but unfortunately he was injured in that car accident. And now he’s marrying” and that was IT.
I haven’t been to too many weddings before, but I was pretty embarrassed with the best man at our wedding. Before the wedding we asked him if he wanted to give a speech, and he said that he did. We asked this a couple times, and both times, he said he wanted to. Fast forward to the day of the wedding, he stated that he didn’t realize he was expected to give a speech, but gave one anyways. I was so mortified because it made my husband and I look like huge a******s who sprung it upon him without any warning. The speech itself was nice, but the little disclaimer made me want to die.
Mother of the bride, toasting her daughter and son-in-law:"-Now that those two are hitched, I can finally tell you that Bob and I are finally divorcing! Meet his replacement, John.“Same version with the father, which went a bit like that:"-As Janet said, we’re free from the shackles of marriage. And this is my lovely girlfriend Natalia. Oh, and congratulations to Lucy and Kyle, hope you don’t make the same mistakes we did!“Like staying married “for the children” while having affairs, bringing their side pieces to the wedding as “friends”, and announcing everything during their toasts.It’s been a few years, and last I checked, the bride is still no contact with her birth-givers, and they’re all pikachu face about it.
My brothers wedding. One of his groomsmen (who was drunk as a skunk) waltzed up to the mic and proceeded to tell 200 people that “you have to eat it to keep it in order to have a good marriage”. His wife was PISSED.
Omg I was at my cousin’s wedding a couple years back. Everything’s going great, food’s amazing and everyone’s having a good time. Then it’s time for the best man’s speech. This guy (let’s call him Brad) gets up there looking nervous as hell. Red flag number one. He starts off okay, talking about how he and the groom have been friends since college. You know thr standard stuff. But then… oh God.He goes, “And speaking of college, remember that time we made a pact that if we were both single at 30, we’d marry each other?” The entire room went dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. The bride’s face was stone cold. But Brad just kept going! He’s laughing, saying stuff like, “Guess I missed my chance, huh buddy?” and “Don’t worry, (my cousin’s name), I’m sure he likes you more than me… probably.“It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. People were squirming in their seats, the groom looked like he wanted to melt into the floor, and the bride…if looks could kill then I would have had to attend a funeral shortly after the wedding.
I once heard a MOH speech that was along the lines of “my little sister is so annoying. Let me tell you some weird s**t she did as a kid.” That’s all well and fine, but then the Best Man followed her with the most heart wrenching speech about how much their friendship means to him. I felt so bad for the Bride’s sister.
At a friends rehearsal dinner, every single person talked about how great the groom is. Even the brides father! Groom was an outgoing/life of the party type and bride was a bit shy and reserved but also one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and I was so pissed everyone just talked about how lucky she was to be marrying him.
Recently got married, and one of the groomsmen insisted on giving a speech (no, not the best man) he said he’s written a really funny speech and asked my husband if he could mention my miscarriage…obviously a hard no.
At my pal’s second wedding: “It’s nice to see all the familiar faces again.”.
I went to a wedding where the officiant took the mic right before dinner. We all thought he was going to say a prayer… nope! It was a way too long speech confessing how he used to be in love with the bride. To everyone there, it was clear he was still in love with the bride.
Two of my friends met doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. They got married and I’d say the majority of the people there knew them from either BJJ or MMA. The best man was the groom’s best friend from childhood, and clearly felt self conscious because he had no connection to either BJJ or MMA, but he was a black belt in aikido. His toast dragged on and on for what felt like half an hour, and almost all of it was talking about how aikido isn’t stupid and worthless, and how important it is to his life, and espousing the virtues of aikido to the whole wedding.Nothing offensive, but it was sad and painful.
I went to the wedding of a college friend who didn’t marry until his 40s. The best man’s speech was just a long ramble about the groom’s single years, how he was a “great bachelor” and how much fun he’d had traveling and partying for so many years. He made many not-so-subtle references to the groom having hooked up a lot(which was true), and the whole speech just felt like a funeral for his bachelorhood. I felt so bad for the bride, but they are still together and happy many years later so no harm was done I guess.
I can’t believe someone actually said, ‘I can’t wait to get naked with you, honey.’ That’s definitely the worst thing I’ve seen someone say.
One of the older relatives was toasting. He’s past the age of filtering to avoid saying offensive stuff so it’s just offensive.Spoke about various races and their stereotypes for each in regards to dress and music.
One of my cousins best men raised a glass and said “maybe we can skip this step next time and just meet at the courthouse” That was it. That was the speech. TBF it was my cousin’s like fourth wedding in under ten years and no one ever liked the brides. They are also divorced now and he hasn’t remarried since.
I’ve been to several weddings where the maid of honor steps up to the mic with 4 printed pages to read through, starts blubbering uncontrollably three words in, and insists on reading through it all the way. Takes like 10 minutes and you can’t understand anything through the sobbing.Specific speech: visibly drunk best man tells everyone the groom is a good guy because he can polish off a 12 pack without issue, but has a bad throwing motion in baseball or football. That was it.
My cousin’s wedding had two bad toasts.First the Maid of Honor got up to speak about the bride. She rambled on and on about how she was very popular with so many guys in high school and she could’ve taken her pick on men, but my cousin was the one, after so many guys, that managed to settle her down.Next, the Mother of the Groom stood up and used her speech to issue thinly veiled insults at the bride, at one point mentioning “she’s a diamond in the rough,” yada yada but his “love and support will polish her until she shines” or some crazy s**t. It was bonkers.The priest also took ten minutes in the middle of the ceremony to speak on God’s love and how you need to “turn on the Jesus faucet” and “let that love wash over you,”.
Groom’s name was Richard, but a lot of people call him Dk.Best Man was hammered and got up to give his speech and in front of kids, grandmas, etc. he busted out with “I ALWAYS KNEW THAT JEN LOVED DK…“Yikes.
Asked all the grooms family to stand up not realizing that there had been an issue a few days prior. Only one person stood up because there had been an argument a few days before between two sides of the family and all but one did not attend the wedding after that. The bridespeople were not involved in this argument and not to blame. It was a rather sad and uncomfortable moment.
The best man had no clue what to say for his speech the day of the wedding so my wife (then GF) wrote down a guideline for him to follow…Talk about how he met each of them, compliment them both, wish them well, etc.What he read was a bunch of inside jokes abotu the groom that nobody else understood, a comment that he only knew her through him, a compliment for the groom, a comment that the bride is “Cooler than cool-hwhip” (like how Stewie says it in Family Guy), and an “I wish you both the best”. It was awkward and I was laughing (as quietly as I could) through all of it.
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