Infidelity can be a pretty open-ended term. But whether we’re talking about a one-night stand, sexting, flirting, or a secret lunch with a colleague, it basically boils down to sexual or emotional activity outside the agreed-upon boundaries of arelationship.
To better understand the lengths people go to in order to satisfy their desires, Reddit userWCh3L3made a post on the platform, asking, “What’s the wildest cheating story you’ve witnessed or experienced?” An interesting question, considering that many of us might not recognize thesigns of an affaireven if we suspect our partner.
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My ex-wife pretended to be admitted to a mental health ward for long term treatment while actually staying with her new man and cheating on me.
To learn more about infidelity, we contacted dr Janneke M. Schokkenbroek, a postdoctoral researcher at Delft University of Technology and Inholland University of Applied Sciences, the Netherlands.“When it comes to cheating, there are a lot of misconceptions,” Schokkenbroek toldBored Panda. The first one is cheating is always about sex. Not true!“Emotional cheating is just as real and, for many, even more painful. This happens when someone forms a deep emotional connection with someone else, sharing personal thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities. It’s not always physical, but it can still feel like a betrayal because it undermines the emotional intimacy that’s supposed to be exclusive to the relationship,” explained. Schokkenbroek"What makes emotional cheating so tricky is how easy it is to dismiss. It often starts as and looks like ‘just a friendship,’ but over time, boundaries blur. If secrecy creeps in, or if your partner starts prioritizing someone else over you emotionally, it might be time for a tough conversation."
To learn more about infidelity, we contacted dr Janneke M. Schokkenbroek, a postdoctoral researcher at Delft University of Technology and Inholland University of Applied Sciences, the Netherlands.
“When it comes to cheating, there are a lot of misconceptions,” Schokkenbroek toldBored Panda. The first one is cheating is always about sex. Not true!
“Emotional cheating is just as real and, for many, even more painful. This happens when someone forms a deep emotional connection with someone else, sharing personal thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities. It’s not always physical, but it can still feel like a betrayal because it undermines the emotional intimacy that’s supposed to be exclusive to the relationship,” explained. Schokkenbroek
“What makes emotional cheating so tricky is how easy it is to dismiss. It often starts as and looks like ‘just a friendship,’ but over time, boundaries blur. If secrecy creeps in, or if your partner starts prioritizing someone else over you emotionally, it might be time for a tough conversation.”
I know a guy who’s wife was cheating with his cousin (also married), he finds out, and decides to have everyone over for a supper. Half way threw supper he looks his wife dead in the eyes and says, “I know you two are f***g”, right in front of affair partner and his wife too. St blew up and everyone got divorced, affair partners never got together either.
I used to go to a comic shop. And the comic shop owner knew all of the gossip in the area. Nice dude. Remembers all of his regulars and asks about you if he hasn’t seen you in awhile to check in on people. Lot of people in the area grew up with his shop. So he’s got stories.Anyways he told us about this story from some years back about this regular. Who disappeared for a few months. Comes back one day. And the shop owner asks him, “hey, man. Haven’t seen you in awhile?”Kind of like where have you been. The regular was like oh I’ve been getting divorced. I had to move it was a whole thing.So naturally the shop owner asks. “Why are you divorcing your wife?” The regular caught his wife cheating.He had picked up a 2nd part time job as pizza delivery man because he was trying to fund to take his wife on her dream vacation. All of the money he earned from that job was supposed to go into that vacation. He had been working this job for like 6 months. It was a whole secret. She didn’t know he was doing that for her. Because he was trying to surprise her.He was the pizza delivery man at the motel. She was cheating at him with. The dude she was cheating on him with answered the door with her right next to him.He apparently didn’t even go back to the pizza place. He quit on the spot. Went home. Packed his s**t and left town.
Another popular myth, according to Schokkenbroek, is that cheating means you’re unhappy in your relationship.“Sure, being dissatisfied in your relationship can lead to infidelity, but it’s not always that simple. Sometimes, people in happy relationships cheat too — maybe because they crave novelty, excitement, or validation,” she explained.“The idea that ‘if someone cheats, they don’t love their partner’ isn’t always true. You can genuinely love your partner and still be drawn to someone else, often for entirely different reasons, like a spark of excitement or sexual attraction.““Of course, this doesn’t make it okay,” Schokkenbroek added. “Cheating is still a betrayal of trust. It crosses (spoken or unspoken) couples' boundaries and can deeply harm the relationship. Whether it’s due to unhappiness or not, infidelity is a wake-up call that something — in the relationship and/or within the person cheating — needs attention.”
Another popular myth, according to Schokkenbroek, is that cheating means you’re unhappy in your relationship.
“Sure, being dissatisfied in your relationship can lead to infidelity, but it’s not always that simple. Sometimes, people in happy relationships cheat too — maybe because they crave novelty, excitement, or validation,” she explained.
“The idea that ‘if someone cheats, they don’t love their partner’ isn’t always true. You can genuinely love your partner and still be drawn to someone else, often for entirely different reasons, like a spark of excitement or sexual attraction.”
“Of course, this doesn’t make it okay,” Schokkenbroek added. “Cheating is still a betrayal of trust. It crosses (spoken or unspoken) couples' boundaries and can deeply harm the relationship. Whether it’s due to unhappiness or not, infidelity is a wake-up call that something — in the relationship and/or within the person cheating — needs attention.”
One more stereotype that Schokkenbroek would like to disappear is the notion that ‘the other woman’ is the villain and the homewrecker.“Not only does this phrase unfairly paint the secondary partner as the villain, but it also shifts focus away from the cheater’s responsibility,” she said. “Plus, calling them ‘the other woman’ is outdated and gendered — secondary partners can be men, non-binary people, anyone.““In reality, these situations are rarely black and white. Sometimes the secondary partner doesn’t even know they’re someone’s secondary, or they genuinely fall for the cheater and find themselves in a very painful and complex situation, which often comes with a lot of heartbreak for them too. Instead of vilifying them, let’s use neutral terms like ‘secondary partner’ that better reflect the nuances involved.”
One more stereotype that Schokkenbroek would like to disappear is the notion that ‘the other woman’ is the villain and the homewrecker.
“Not only does this phrase unfairly paint the secondary partner as the villain, but it also shifts focus away from the cheater’s responsibility,” she said. “Plus, calling them ‘the other woman’ is outdated and gendered — secondary partners can be men, non-binary people, anyone.”
“In reality, these situations are rarely black and white. Sometimes the secondary partner doesn’t even know they’re someone’s secondary, or they genuinely fall for the cheater and find themselves in a very painful and complex situation, which often comes with a lot of heartbreak for them too. Instead of vilifying them, let’s use neutral terms like ‘secondary partner’ that better reflect the nuances involved.”
My friend’s mom was in a relationship with a guy for years and they ended up getting engaged and due to marry.The guy was a senior director of a company for which he travelled every week abroad for business.Eventually, the guy had a heart attack and when my friends mom turned up at the hospital, his wife and 2 kids were there also.Turned out he was already married with children and living a double life the whole time. When he went ‘abroad’ for business, he was simply going back to his actual family
I was a florist. A guy came in and ordered flowers for 2 different women, his girlfriend and his wife. He puts both orders on the same credit card, one he shares with his wife. Everyone in the shop volunteered to deliver them to see what these women looked like. Later that day the wife calls to ask who the second order was sent to. Since her name is on the card we feel no obligation to secrecy so we told her. Florists in general are pretty good at keeping secrets but in this case she paid for the flowers. I’ve also disclosed anonymous sources if a woman has received flowers from an anonymous source. I don’t want to be involved in a stalking scenario.
A 2022surveyfound that one-third (33%) of Americans admit to cheating cheated — either physically, emotionally, or both.However, only 57% of cheaters were caught, meaning 43% have managed to keep their infidelity a secret.In most cases (71%), Americans who cheated did not want their partners to find out about it.
A 2022surveyfound that one-third (33%) of Americans admit to cheating cheated — either physically, emotionally, or both.
However, only 57% of cheaters were caught, meaning 43% have managed to keep their infidelity a secret.
In most cases (71%), Americans who cheated did not want their partners to find out about it.
In a small town the husband kept telling people he had an open marriage; finally someone asked his wife about it, she was unaware of this new arrangement.
Had a coworker who cheated on her live-in boyfriend. She would tell him she was going for a run, put on her shorts without underwear and would f**k her side piece in the apartment parking lot. So then she would come back inside sweaty 30 mins later and needed to shower and it all made sense to her boyfriend, he never questioned it. She was an awful human.
Schokkenbroek believes that no single action screams, “Oh no, my partner’s cheating!” but there are some things that can stand out:They’ve gotten secretive. “Maybe they’re guarding their phone more, changing their passwords, or overall appearing more protective of their privacy.“There’s emotional distance. “If they seem more disconnected, irritable, or overly critical, they might be emotionally investing elsewhere.“Unexplained time away. “Late nights, vague excuses, or ‘busy’ weekends could be a sign.A new focus on appearance. “If they’re more often hitting the gym or dressing up without a clear reason, it might raise an eyebrow.““Changes in sexual behavior. “Whether their interest spikes or drops, it’s worth paying attention.“And, of course, ‘souvenirs,’ like unexplained bills, or unfamiliar items and smells…“That said, please note that a list of ‘red flags’ suggests that these things are instantly noticeable, but such relationship dynamics often shift slowly and naturally over time,” Schokkenbroek highlighted. “Changes in behavior often warrant a conversation rather than immediate suspicion. Open communication is always the first step before jumping to conclusions.”
Schokkenbroek believes that no single action screams, “Oh no, my partner’s cheating!” but there are some things that can stand out:
“That said, please note that a list of ‘red flags’ suggests that these things are instantly noticeable, but such relationship dynamics often shift slowly and naturally over time,” Schokkenbroek highlighted. “Changes in behavior often warrant a conversation rather than immediate suspicion. Open communication is always the first step before jumping to conclusions.”
Bunch of men in a small town lied to their wives about hunting trips and were f*****g each other in a motel
Just got home from deployment, on an anniversary trip with my (now ex) wife to Vegas. We go to a couple cirque shows, do some paigow, get a very fancy dinner, the whole anniversary spared no expense experience.She was passed out drunk and her phone was blowing the fk up with like 20 messages from an unsaved number. So I looked. They were very romantic and sexual messages and pictures. She had been texting him the whole night. Even while we were at dinner she told him she wished he was there instead of me. She had been messaging him for months, my whole deployment basically.Well I dug deeper, started reading other message chains. I found like 9 other affairs with both men and women, she was even a third in a throuple and caused the husband and wife to get divorced because she kept breaking the rules and f***g the husband without the wife there/behind her back.
My Ex wife missed our last dance at our wedding reception because she was f*****g her cousins in the bridesmaids change room.
High school sweetheart and I went off to college, different schools, while I was visiting I was walking around the house to the front door. Window was open and I overhear her talking to another high school guy friend of mine that is in college with her about how she doesn’t know how to tell me she cheated. He caught her with a friend of his and was forcing her to fess up before he did. So that broke us up needless to say.She begged me to forgive her. About 3 months later I relented and had her visit me at my college. We went out that night. Food, drinks, and finally a house party. Before we were about to leave I went up to a friends room to grab a bag of weed from him. 15 minutes later I come down, go out to the porch, look to the left, and there she is making out with some random guy we hadn’t even met before. She literally met him 2 minutes after I went upstairs.She cried all night. I was crying laughing that she had so little self control. I ended up having her sleep on the couch and she went home before I woke up. Haven’t spoken since. That was about 20 years ago.
A family friend’s husband was having an affair for 20+ years and that woman knew the entire time about his family. He was at her ranch one time and was bucked off a horse and broke his back. The affair partner called his wife to tell her and acted like everything about this situation was normal and the wife had no reason to act all upset at the affair. Some people really just have no shame.Guy lived and made a complete recovery, left his mistress and they stayed together since they were working on their relationship. He died a few years ago and the wife finds out he never actually left his mistress just lied.
My best friends dad invited his coworker/mistress to his home and let his unknowing wife cook for her and all. Wife eventually finds out and he throws her out, divorced her, and marries the mistress. He was a pastor.
When I worked a college, this guy cheated on his girlfriend…. with her mother! He dated both of them, knowing they were related, but they didn’t know they were dating the same guy.He got both of them pregnant too, and vanished shortly after they found out he dating both of them. We used to semi-jokingly wonder if he ran away or was stuffed into a barrel at the bottom of the lake.
Girl said she was approved for some class in another really far city after her grades in college were too good. The boyfriend paid all her travel expenses and gave her his credit card for this trip to this specific event.When she arrives on the another city she calls saying she won’t come back and would live with this guy she met online and was chatting for months.Boyfriend went crazy to cancel the credit card he gave to her, found there was never any class and she was almost expelled from the college because her grades were terrible. She just travelled to meet the other guy and still made BF pay all her expenses.This happened about 15 years ago. I lost contact with her, but I remember she married the other guy.
Roommate was sleeping with his boss who was married with a child. She would arrive at our house at 5.30am (having told her husband she’s off to gym), they would have an early morning shag, shower, get ready and go off to work together. They would also do it at work in the bathrooms.On weekends he would go do his food shopping and she would coincide her food shopping so they would walk around the store together doing their shopping.He came home one night and sat my other roommate and I down and told us that within the next 6 months that she would be getting a divorce and they were going to have a kid together. Let’s just say she’s still married and he’s got a new job.They were lawyers, so much for being fit and proper.
Was in rehab, two people were there for sex addiction one a minister the other a Jewish housewife. They left rehab together early. Woman divorced her husband who sent her to rehab for sex addiction and married the guy she met in rehab. They are still married 10 years later and seem very happy.
This guy lived with his family after marriage. He was living happily with 4 kids I believe.One day he was driving and saw a woman was in labour on the street. So he offered to take her to hospital. The woman gave birth and when asked who is the father, she said the man who drove me here is the father. She was setting him up to take responsibility and help pay for the child’s expenses.He told them he is not the father and he was just helping out. Told them to do whatever test they need to do to prove this is not his child.So they did they test and told him, you are right, this is not your child. In fact, you are infertile, and incapable of having any children. He told them this can’t be right as he has 4 kids. The doctor recommended he gets a test to see if he is their father.He found out the father of his children is his brother, who stayed in the same house as them.Edit: I don’t know the intricate details of the story as I heard the story from someone else. The person who said the story is a trustworthy person and from what I know, they had no reason to lie. As for paternity and fertility test are two different things, like I said I’m telling the story second hand and do not know full details. Somewhere along that process the guy found out he is infertile.
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A guy I went to school with had been in a relationship for a few years with a girl in the year below. He left home and bought the house right next door to his parents.One day he came home and found his Dad hanging out the back of his girlfriend.
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In a world where societal expectations often dictate behavior, there’s always a fine line between personal boundaries and societal norms. This nuanced approach is reflected in various discussions about how individuals should behave in relationships or socialize. For instance, while examining how people perceive infidelity, it’s vital to recognize the societal constructs surrounding it.This idea, similar to the expectations set on both genders to conform to certain stereotypes, echoes the cultural narrative discussed in thecontroversial perspectives that were highlightedelsewhere.
In a world where societal expectations often dictate behavior, there’s always a fine line between personal boundaries and societal norms. This nuanced approach is reflected in various discussions about how individuals should behave in relationships or socialize. For instance, while examining how people perceive infidelity, it’s vital to recognize the societal constructs surrounding it.
This idea, similar to the expectations set on both genders to conform to certain stereotypes, echoes the cultural narrative discussed in thecontroversial perspectives that were highlightedelsewhere.
I dated a girl in college who I later discovered was still sleeping with an ex, but she didn’t consider it cheating because we were having P in V sex, and she was only letting her ex f**k her in the a*s, so it “didn’t count”.
I was engaged to my fiance and looking forward to marrying him. Thought things were going well.One night while sleeping over at his place, I get up to use the restroom at night and hear his phone go off (it was plugged in there to charge). I usually respect his privacy but I thought it was weird for him to get a text at this hour, so I went over to see what it was.It wasn’t good.
We went to Brazil for 10 days, on the last night there I woke up and he was gone. I called him and he texted me saying he was on his way back with food— but he was drunk and thought I was the girl he was with.He was off f*****g a hooker, of course!!! On the very last night of our trip. We had been together for 2 years.
My ex fiancé went to a New Year’s party while I was napping. She partnered up with the bestfriend of her bestfriend’s husband playing cornhole and he proceeded to grab her as all night. When I got to the party no one said anything to me but there was a girl there that had an odd look on her face when my ex introduced me as her fiancé. 2 days later I went on a fishing trip and she went to his house and fd him. When I got back we both came down with Covid. On the 3rd day of quarantining, her bestfriend called her and told her she had to tell me or she was going to send me an anonymous letter telling me. So she told me. The same best friend that encouraged the as grabbing at the party, the same best friend that went drinking and allowed my ex to drive drunk to f**k her husbands sober best friend. The same trashy ex I never liked and tried to get my ex away from. After the cheating, I stupidly tried to make it work. I gave her an ultimatum, either cut ties with the best friend or I’m gone. She refused. Our couples therapist said she shouldn’t have to. We only lasted like 2 more months when a guy she f**d while we were split up a few years earlier texted her while he was conveniently at a bar across the street from us.After all this she got on fb and said “I never cheated on him you can literally ask my best friend” and that piece of trash commented agreeing.
Friends mom was cheating for 7 years. Only got caught because her side boo broke up with her, which led her to go to her husband for emotional support. Told him the whole thing expecting him not to be mad
I had a S/O who cheated on me with 2 strangers the day before my birthday. She was on a white water rafting trip with her girlfriends and she f****d both raft guides.
So I HAD a friend from childhood, we grew up together from elementary school thru college. As we got older she was always a st show. Anyways … she starts working for this mortgage company (& if you know anything abt the mortgage biz early 2000s-mid 2000s it was WILD).She’s in this ltr w/ this guy for several years then once she starts at this mortgage company starts messing around with like the Top Loan Officer. It went on for months and months.She ended up marrying the guy she was in the ltr but still kept this loan officer on the side. Well, her now husband started to sense smthg was off, kept confronting her etc. She would just deny, deny, deny. Thrown into the mix of this is the fact that not a one of them is sober from d*s and alcohol.Her husbands starts threatening to off himself if she doesn’t tell him the truth. He would call/text me asking questions while being drunk and high. There’s a lot more to it but you get the picture.Next call I get, it was a Saturday in Sept 2009 & it was from her and shes screaming “————, hung himself!”. over and over again. I’ll never forget her screaming. I still don’t think he meant to go thru with it. He had 3 times the legal limit of alcohol in his system, coke and herion too.So sad. They had a kid together and she just went to homecoming this past weekend. She’s 14. Heres the kicker, after his funeral she immediately moves out the house where it happened and into the loan officers house WITH HER DEAD HUSBANDS KID! Needless to say I don’t speak to her anymore. I only get updates on her thru my mom b/c they follow each other on FB.
When I was 18, my girlfriend (who lived 100 miles away) came down to see me. Everything was fairly normal, she seemed a bit off maybe. Then, after she left, I realised that I was one condom down than I had expected, which was a bit weird. Then, the next weekend, she had a house party that she avoided inviting me too. Long story short, she f****d a guy with a condom she took from me. She then proceeded to keep seeing him for about 6 months, whilst intensely gaslighting and lying to me. Still astonishes me 15 years later.
I know someone that cheated on his wife for at least twenty years. He brought the mistress a house that was better than the one he lived in with his family. He bought this woman cars and expensive vacations and everything. No one knew for years because he hid it all in his business accounting. The only way that they found out is that some car registration renewals came in the mail when he was away on vacation with his mistress, and neither vehicle belonged to the family or the businesses.
Buddy of mine had been married a few months when he found a sex tape on a shared iPad of his wife and one of her exes. He knew it was recent because she wore the same lingerie that she bought specifically for their honeymoon.
Ex gf got hickies from some guy and to cover it up burned her neck with a curling iron.
The guy my ex was cheating on me with would serve me drinks when I would go and visit her at work
Had a child right out of high school. Got married. After some time, my wife tells me that she needs a few days away to unwind. She wanted to go spend some time with a female friend in Florida. We get her a plane ticket and I drop her off at the airport. I’m home working and taking care of our child while she’s gone. So, she comes home and everything seems normal. One night we start fooling around in the kitchen and she seems REALLY excited. I ask what got into her and she admits that she and her friend had messed around. Her friend had gone down on her. Kinda blindsided me. She never talked about being with another woman. She seemed to think that I would be okay with it. Over the next few weeks more and more details came out and it turns out that it happened more than once while she was there. She says that there are photos of the two of them if I want to see them. I ask who took the photos. The girls boyfriend did. I start getting the feeling that he was more involved than she’s letting on. The whole thing led to a loss of trust and fighting between us. I left about a year later when I found out that she was talking to some guy online (I found out later that he was 17 and she was 23 when they started talking). The guy moved in with her after I moved out. They break up after 6 months or so. While we were in the middle of divorce proceedings (took awhile because she kept taking off to visit “friends” out of state that she met online) and I find out that she had another threesome with a couple that we both know.
One day I came home to find my dad’s mail account on my computer, my curiosity got the best of me and I opened it, and learned that my dad was interested in his young coworker and shared it with a friend.While he was living with my (now former) lovely cute funny and awesome step mom.My dad accused me of connecting into his mail on my own, my mom blamed my dad for using my computer while I was away, and I sweared to myself to never consider another of his lover as my real step mom.And I still don’t know to this day how his mail was open on my computer when he had one.
For six months my ex dressed as a bricklayer and went out from 7 in the morning to 7 in the evening. He didn’t go to work but had his lover pick him up and spend the whole day with her.
This happened in my village about 35 years ago, and it involved the best of friends who were a bit crazy. When one of the friends was going for the night shift at the local factory, the other would visit his wife.When the cheated husband suspected his wife of infidelity, he lied that he was going to the night shift both his friend and his wife to see what will happen, offcourse he caught his wife and the friend in the act. When the husband burst in, his friend leaped through the closed window completely naked, leaving behind his clothes and dirty underwear.The husband took those soiled underwear and put them in his pocket, and he kicked his wife out of the house. The next day, he went all around the village showing the underwear and telling everyone that his wife was unfaithful with a “sh*tter.“As the story spread throughout the village, it eventually reached the lover’s family, who happened to be wealthy. His father and uncle went to the cheated husband and asked him to stop spreading the story. He agreed but on the condition that they buy the underwear for a sum equivalent to about 1000 euros in today’s money.The story’s epilogue is that the betrayed husband took his wife back, and they continue to live together to this day. They even have grandchildren. However, the friends never reconciled.
There was a girl in my early 20s that I was on/off with for a few years. We were on again, so I got a hotel room one night so we could get it on without sneaking around as we both still lived with our parents. As we started to hook up, I felt something odd inside her. I used my fingers to latch onto it and pulled out a condom.Edit: still had sex…and now I have a promiscuity/infidelity fetish.
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