I’m sure almost all of us have heard the phrases toxic masculinity, toxic men, and toxic women, but have you heard of toxic femininity? If not, theterm"toxic femininity" is used to describe a broad concept of womanhood that is restrictive and repressive, including the pressures women experience to live up to stereotypically feminine features and behaviors.
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I am a feminist and I am constantly discussing how boys are being left behind. Statistically, they are further behind girls now than girls were behind boys in the 70s. And that warranted federal legislation to deal with the inequities.We are promoting feminism at the expense of boys. Instead we need to be promoting both sexes to succeed. From a feminist perspective, everyone in society loses when either sex is left behind. And we are seeing the effects of this now. Sky high rates of single mother households which is also the most impoverished cohort, triple the suicide rate among men than women, low college degree achievement, etc etc.I get shouted down and basically shunned when I discuss this with other feminists.
“Individuals raised in families and cultures where these rigid norms are perpetuated often internalize these restrictive values and power structures, role modeling, and blueprints learned from an early age,” one of Canada’s leading clinical psychologistsDr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych, author ofA Deeper WellnessandTEDXspeaker, shared withBored Panda.“When young girls, from an early age, are raised to dress, look, act, and respond in ways that are pleasing to others, when they learn to derive their sense of self-worth from others, and from superficial, materialistic, and highly polished — often impossible — beauty standards, this sets girls and women up for a lifetime of self-scrutiny, feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-actualization, and a life of serving others at the cost of finding value and meaning in their own lives.”
“Individuals raised in families and cultures where these rigid norms are perpetuated often internalize these restrictive values and power structures, role modeling, and blueprints learned from an early age,” one of Canada’s leading clinical psychologistsDr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych, author ofA Deeper WellnessandTEDXspeaker, shared withBored Panda.
“When young girls, from an early age, are raised to dress, look, act, and respond in ways that are pleasing to others, when they learn to derive their sense of self-worth from others, and from superficial, materialistic, and highly polished — often impossible — beauty standards, this sets girls and women up for a lifetime of self-scrutiny, feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-actualization, and a life of serving others at the cost of finding value and meaning in their own lives.”
Being the default choice for custody of children even when you have a record of jail time, [substance] abuse, assault, and are a felon, while the father is employed and only has traffic tickets on his record.Whoever decided my mom was the better parent could only have come to that decision out of sexism. No other answer.
The mindset that a man cheats because he’s a scumbag looking for some fun, but a woman cheats because she’s feeling unloved in a relationship and the intimacy is just not there.Cheaters are s****y people, period.
Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych. says that the media is a huge contributor to perpetuating toxic — and impossible to live up to — stereotypes of women. “Stereotypes — of the perfect body, the swift post-partum bounce-back, the perfect mother, the loving, long-suffering wife, the dutiful daughter, the cookie-baking, care-taking grandmother.”Also, through the media, women are objectified, told they are not good enough, and pressured to act, look, and strive to please the men in their lives, to spend their time and energy striving to attain and maintain standards of behavior and appearance, not for themselves, but to please others.
Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych. says that the media is a huge contributor to perpetuating toxic — and impossible to live up to — stereotypes of women. “Stereotypes — of the perfect body, the swift post-partum bounce-back, the perfect mother, the loving, long-suffering wife, the dutiful daughter, the cookie-baking, care-taking grandmother.”
Also, through the media, women are objectified, told they are not good enough, and pressured to act, look, and strive to please the men in their lives, to spend their time and energy striving to attain and maintain standards of behavior and appearance, not for themselves, but to please others.
Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love.
women who bully/criticize guys on their height and treat them horribly but when a guy PREFERS to not date a 250lbs woman, oh he’s a misogynistic pig that’s judging women based on their appearance.
Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed
She notes that well-behaved women, that is to say, women who model behaviors like agreeableness, passivity, and a focus on pleasing others while subjugating their own needs and deriving a sense of self through their value as an object of desire to men, are celebrated and rewarded.“Furthermore, many social media influencers send powerful reminders of impossible beauty standards through their relentless creation of content that supports the impossible beauty standards for women, including unboxing fast fashion hauls and makeup tutorials, and commentary on the latest trends in fashion for women,” Dr. Monica adds.
She notes that well-behaved women, that is to say, women who model behaviors like agreeableness, passivity, and a focus on pleasing others while subjugating their own needs and deriving a sense of self through their value as an object of desire to men, are celebrated and rewarded.
“Furthermore, many social media influencers send powerful reminders of impossible beauty standards through their relentless creation of content that supports the impossible beauty standards for women, including unboxing fast fashion hauls and makeup tutorials, and commentary on the latest trends in fashion for women,” Dr. Monica adds.
Wanting to be treated equally only in certain situations, depending on who benefits most from it. You can’t pick and choose like that. We should all be treated equally all the time, in every aspect.
I’m surprised I’m not seeing anything about pushing standards of self presentation on other women. For example, “you can’t wear heels if you’re too tall”, “if you don’t wear makeup it means you’re lazy”, “she should have gone on a diet before wearing that dress”, etc. To me this is what toxic feminity is.
Telling men to be more sensitive then nope out when they are.
Finally, when we internalize the rigid constructs of toxic femininity, we do it in order to conform, fit in and please others.
So, guys, just as toxic masculinity can be harmful to everyone — including the toxic male — for women and men alike, toxic femininity is both self-destructive and limiting. And what would you say is an example of toxic femininity that you notice in everyday life?
Being a bh and pretending like it’s cool or acceptable just because you openly admit you’re a bh. Maybe being “a bad b***h” is just you being immature and grasping at social constructs to justify your immaturity and lack of growing potential.
Plus size women having to be hyper feminine to be taken seriously.
Toxic femininity is not being allowed to show anger, displeasure or frustration. I was brought up to be accommodating and non-combatative. Unlearning…
“If a woman doesn’t have a job that’s okay, but if a man doesn’t it’s just pathetic."^ have heard repeatedly from radical feminists I know
Not putting in romantic efforts in a relationship because they think only men should be romantic and pamper them. Works both ways!
Calling men “creeps” for doing totally normal things.Same way men overuse “crazy” for women
In my professional experience working in a field that is predominately female, I have observed that gossip and defamation can be pretty common among women. At least in a professional setting, women (or people who identify as women) won’t confront you directly with an issue, but they will assassinate your character when gossiping to others. You know it’s bad when normal volume turns to whispers and then the door closes. Yikes.
Judging other women for not wanting to wear heals. It’s a freaking spike attached to the bottom of your foot!!! Why is this still a thing that’s expected to look ‘professional’ or ‘classy’. I’m convinced the majority of the pressure comes from other women.
See Also on Bored Panda
When girls aren’t allowed to do things because it isn’t feminine.
Being nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLs
Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc.
Fake crying to avoid accountability
Women who will believe other women purely based on the fact they are a women without any facts or evidence put forward.
Leading on a guy you don’t intend to get romantic with to get him to do things for you.
Moms bullying other moms.
Pulling the “If you’re a real man” card whenever they need something.
Putting other women down for their interests
Women that only want traditionnal values when it benefits them.
Girls in classrooms that think they shouldn’t raise their hand in class because it makes them too nerdy. That they should hang out with the guys and oversexualise their behaviour at a young age because then they feel valued and ‘cool’ but really are just being used.
Acting like they’re better than other women… Idgaf if that girl is basic or if she’s trying too hard to be quirky. Mindless gossip is stupid, just stfu if that’s all you have to add to the conversation. Let’s be honest with each other and improve together without putting anybody down.
Weapons grade entitlement, which is closely related to the Karen phenomenon. Also, a general inability to take responsibility for one’s actions.
Clique behavior
heres what my wife said;1. “women who shame men for being draft dodgers, knowing full well that they will never be drafted.” (she says that they have absolutely no right to have an opinion on any man who “dodges the draft”)2. “the fact that nearly all women hate each other and talk s**t behind each others backs” (yes, she admits that she is guilty of this, I always point it out when she does it and she gets annoyed with herself for it)3. “blaming men for things we have done"4. “believing that they are perfect and that their mere presence is enough to sustain a relationship”
Any mlm s**t , yOu arE sO pRetTy juSt nEeD tO uSe mY prOduCt for bLah blAh bLaH… and then they steal your money.
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