It’s basically a given that raising a child is hard. “It takes a village” some might say, and they would be right. So, like in most things in life, it never hurts to sit down and do some research. And what better fount of knowledge than experienced parents?Someone asked“Parents of Reddit: What’s the best “Child Hack” you’ve figured out to make your life as a parent easier?” and people with kids gave their best answers. So get comfortable as you read through, take some notes if you have kids of your own, upvote your favorite suggestions, and be sure to comment your thoughts below.This post may includeaffiliate links.
It’s basically a given that raising a child is hard. “It takes a village” some might say, and they would be right. So, like in most things in life, it never hurts to sit down and do some research. And what better fount of knowledge than experienced parents?
Someone asked“Parents of Reddit: What’s the best “Child Hack” you’ve figured out to make your life as a parent easier?” and people with kids gave their best answers. So get comfortable as you read through, take some notes if you have kids of your own, upvote your favorite suggestions, and be sure to comment your thoughts below.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Teach your kids to read VERY EARLY.Read to them as soon as you bring them home; but really focus at age 2. Start making them read back to you at 3. Make it fun.When you give a kid the love of reading at an early age, the rest of school is usually a cake walk. They are ahead of the curve in many ways. And, if they love reading, they always have something to do, and if you buy them a book when they are good and make a reward out of it? You don’t need to wait for another Harry Potter to come out to get them to read.My mother did it with her children, I did it with mine. It works.
I told my kid her ears turn red when she tells a lie, now she covers her ears when she lies. She is almost 7 and it still works.
I had 3 kids very close in age. At one point I assigned them each a day of the week (they each got two and Sunday was the leftover) Whatever the question was, the answer was whose day is it. Who gets to go first? Who gets to ride in the front? Who has to take their bath first? I saved so many arguments with this.
Saw one on Reddit where if you want to enjoy some time undisturbed tell your kids that you’re taking a nap and when you wake up all of you are going to do chores together. They’ll want to let you sleep as long as possible to avoid doing housework, so they’ll leave you alone to actually nap or do other things like read.
Making them start the day over again. Some days they would wake up in the WORST mood. Just cranky and awful. I would tell them I needed them to start the day over because it hadn’t worked right the first time. Going through the motions of having to climb back into bed, close their eyes, then pretend to wake up again made them giggle so much that it usually made for a much smoother start to the day.
Not a parent, but a daycare worker, and I learned this through reddit: If a Child is having a meltdown, ask what color their shoes/shirts/pants/whatever clothing their wearing are. This distracts the child long enough to stop them in the midst of their meltdown because they haven’t thought about what they’re wearing. I used this trick twice on a kid today who was just having a terrible day. Calmed them right down.
Make “No helmet no wheels” the law with no exceptions from the moment they get their first tricycle. Wear your own helmet when you ride together. Let them pick out cool colors etc. Come down hard the first time you catch him or her without.This saved my son’s life when he was hit and dragged under a van!
Be mindful of how you phrase questionsExample:Instead of “Do you want a hotdog for supper?”, ask “What do you want on your hotdog?”If your kid’s a d**k, it won’t matter. But it will help it most situations.
Lasagne bedding. Waterproof sheet, sheet, waterproof sheet, sheet. No changing wet beds in the night, just pull off top layer and change child!
When your kid sees something they want like a toy or game and you can’t/don’t want to buy it tell them to “put it on the list.”If they’re the type of kid that will follow through then you have a handy list for Christmas or birthdays. If not, then they’ll forget about it.Helps avoid arguments in the store because you aren’t really saying no.
Not a parent, but a teacher. My best “hack” aims to tackle oppositional defiance, a fancy way of saying “a kid who does the opposite of what you’ve asked, just because you’ve asked”.This strategy is called choice/choice.Let’s say you ask your 4-5 y/o to go get her shoes, and she screams “No!”. Instead of repeating the demand, (“Get your shoes now, or else!) present the illusion of choice. “You have two choices: If you go get your own shoes, I will let you pick which pair you wear today. If you do not get your own shoes, I will pick what you wear today. " The choices you offer can sometimes provide incentive towards the choice you want then to choose.Giving children choices provides them with limited freedom and individuality. This is important in developing your child’s confidence in their own choices.Choice/ choice can also be used to encourage children to take responsibility. I have a student in my class who is very oppositional defiant. If I say go to the right, he goes to the left. He will constantly try to push the limits of our classroom rules. When he does this, I offer him choice/ choice. I prefer this method with him because it leaves no room for him to argue, or blame me when he doesn’t get what he wants.For example, if he has an upset outburst in class, I will say, “You have two choices: You can either use your coping skills and stay in the classroom, or you can take a break in our buddy room. You have thirty seconds to make your choice. It is up to you.” This works better than “Go to the office!” or traditional punishment because 1. I’m allowing him to have some control, 2. I’m giving him a time frame, 3. I’m not placing blame, 4. I’m stating the choices in a calm way (no invitation for aggression), and 5. the choices are concrete enough that he can’t manipulate the outcome.I’d highly recommend this strategy to anyone who has a child who is displaying defiant/argumentative behavior.
Don’t chew your kids out in front of other people. Pull them aside and talk to them in private. It helps them to trust you and it helps them to save face in front of others. It’s a win-win.
Draw semi circles on the insides of their shoes that match up to make a full circle when the shoes are on the right side of each other.
When mine were younger, say, three or four, and it was close to time to stop playing at the park or in the pool, I always gave them plenty of warning using a concrete timeline that they could understand. Instead of saying “we’re leaving soon” or “five more minutes”, I would tell them something like “ok, let me see you jump in the pool. Seven more jumps and we’re leaving “. Sometimes the number was higher, but never less than five. Less than five was always met with “come on, just one more!!” Which usually wasn’t allowed. Seven or more was always such a big number that they seemed to get their fill and were ready to go when it was time.
Mother of two teenagers. Don’t just listen but ask. Ask questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no. Then follow up with a few more questions about the answers given, and before you know it, they are talking to you without trying. Example: I don’t ask my kids “How was your day?”. I ask something very specific like “I see you are reading ‘certain book’ in class. I don’t think I read that, what’s it about?”. They generally give me a brief rundown so I follow up with maybe “do you have to do a project on it? What ideas do you have?”, things like that. After 1 or 2 questions like that they just keep talking about the class, then the class after or before then I know their whole day. They’ve gotten so use to just conversing with me, I don’t have to try that hard to get the ball rolling anymore unlike some of my friends who are amazed my teenage kids actually talk to me. Also, those conversation starter questions are a great go to. At dinner, no one is allowed a phone, even us adults. So I have a list of conversation starters and just start asking and everyone has to answer the question. Often times will only get to the 2nd or 3rd question before we’ve moved on to a totally different and offbeat topic, having a really great and fun conversation about something random, like is a hamburger a sandwich or it’s own thing? Or is Indiana Jones central to his own storyline? You know, the important stuff.
If you threaten a consequence, follow through 100% of the time. Kids will test boundaries at every age, you just have to make it appropriate for their age group.“If you throw sand again we are leaving the beach “ - you must leave the beach“If you don’t clean your room no screen time tomorrow” - no screen time.The key is to make the consequences not impact you to the point that you don’t want to follow through since it will ruin your day too. A hard line to toe, but boy do boundaries and trust work.Edit: explained further belowKids will always test boundaries 100%. But that doesn’t mean you go full force consequence every time. This is different than giving a consequence every time- you can explain why you don’t want them to throw the sand first. Talk to them about why they threw it. Take them in the water for a bit. But if you threaten to leave the beach once all of those things fail, you have to follow through.A teen breaking curfew once is not a “take away your phone and computer and you’re grounded for 3 months” consequence. But maybe the 12th time is.
If they are cranky, put them in water.I have teenagers, this is still the method that I use. Even having them wash their hands or face does wonders.To be fair, I do it with my husband too. So really, I guess it’s just works for humans.
When my kids were little my wife worked at a health club and I would take the kids swimming in the evening. We’d always pack their PJs for their clothes they’d change into after swimming. That way, they got out of the pool, showered, and changed in to pajamas. They didn’t always go to bed right when we got home, but they were always ready for bed when we got home.It was my wife’s idea.
If you have a hard time getting them to eat their vegetables give them before the dinner because thats when they are hungry and will eat almost anything, give them some carrots and cucumbers in a glass which is a great snack.
Learn to say thank you and I’m sorry to them. It makes you closer and helps your relationship with them no matter what age.Experiences are better than things.Waking up before them makes the day a lot easier.Find a way to see them when you’re driving.
I told my son that I was allergic to whining. Any time he started whining I did a bunch of fake sneezing and he would apologize immediately and stop being whiney! It worked for most of elementary school!
Teach them how to express their feelings and validate them when they do.
To get a newborn to burp:Sit them on your knee, holding them under their armpits, and move their upper bodies in a circle several times. Like a reverse hula move I guess.I learned it from a neonatal nurse, and it’s almost infallible. So much faster and more reliable than regular burping.
No a parent, but when I was a child my mom would hide her 4 glass birds (little sculptures she had) around the house. My sister and I had to look for them. We had to be very careful while looking so we didnt break them. If we broke one, we lost. If we left drawers/door/cabinets open, we lost.You would think that we could tie and each find two birds, but it never happened. We would go to mom when we gave up, and she would hide them all over again.It wasnt until I was an adult did I realize that she never hid a fourth bird. But boy did we spend a looong time looking
Whenever we go to the grocery store instead of listening to my son(4 years old) cry about all of the stuff he can’t have I just tell him he can have one thing and one thing only. So he grabs cookies. Then when we get to the ice cream isle he decides he wants ice cream, then changes to Captain crunch. But every time we go back and put up the last thing he chose. It teaches him to decide what he really wants instead of wanting everything and whining the whole time.
Put sunscreen on at home, before you get to the beach/pool/park. They know we’re not going anywhere till it’s on. Saves me from the scramble at the destination because they’re always too excited to hold still and I’m in a rush, so it’s not a thorough job. Sunscreen takes 20 minutes to kick in anyway.
- Any food they didn’t like was labeled turkey. They are 12 and 8 and only just realized fish isn’t turkey. They would always wonder why turkey has so many different flavors and how they like some but not others. 😂2. Starting as soon as they can walk, ask for help for just about everything. And they will help and enjoy being needed. And when they do tasks and ask for help, help them. They will always help if you teach them to do it as a family instead of an individual task. Clean house…yes, please!3. Biggest one of all - listen to them. Everything they say to you is really important to them, no matter how stupid it is. And learn what they like, even if it’s boring. This comes in handy when they’re older.
My daughter would run away from me at the grocery store when I had my infant son in the cart. So I put tap shoes on her when we went shopping.
I make kid traps. It works for all ages. I have an early riser, an enthusiastic 5am early riser for many years. Things are better now. During those tough years, my invention came to fruition and age of child is a factor as well as placement of the traps. With little ones. you need traps all over the house and the key spot is right outside the door, placed after the child goes to bed.This is what all those shoes boxes you have are best recycled for. Inside the box you will place a number of surprises. That can entertain the child. really, it can be anything that will not harm them. it could be several rolls of cardboard toilet paper. blocks, a couple of figurines, weird stuff. Again nothing that can harm them.With smaller kids that get into everything, you need these all over the house so that when they open a drawer or cupboard, it’s the first thing they find and instead of ripping the tape out of your classic VHS tapes or ripping your comic collection to shreds, they go through all the all the things in the kid trap. You do need to replace items in the boxes frequently.As the child gets older more art supplies should be included, drawing materials, crafty things, pieces of clothing, books, games, stickies. It really works. don’t give them stickers. I hate stickers.until they learn to forage. That’s code for feed themselves.good luck
Whenever either of my toddlers was crying or whining in the car, I would point to something invisible out the window and say “hey! do you see that over there?!” By the time they realized they couldn’t figure out what I was pointing at, they’d forgotten the reason they were whining. Amazing how many times that worked.
During the years their bedtime is 8pm or earlier, put away your laptop and phone and just say ‘yes’ to anything they want to play. Much easier for everyone.
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When my kids disagree or are arguing I will give them a false dilemma. For example, we are going to dinner and my daughter wants to go to restaurant A and my son wants to go to Restaurant B. We decide to go to Restaurant B but tell my daughter that she gets to pick where everyone sits.FYI, it works on co-workers fairly well too.
I have triplets and when they were small and losing it I would put a post-it note on my own forehead and never mention it.I would come and do the usual stuff to see what the tantrum was about with post-it note on and they would stop for a second and be like “what is on your face” loosening the locked internal gears of their minds.It still works at six years however I now usually have to draw something funny on my face (like angry cartoon eyebrows).Hope this helps someone.
Two best pieces of advice that i got: 1. Pick your battles. Example, Teenage son wanted to bleach his hair. I think: Permanent? No. Will it affect college, relationships or career? No. Ok, son, i will take you to a salon, and we will do it right. Son: eh, nevermind. 2. Once they get to their teenage years, all you can really do is help them get through it. *this advice given early implying if you give them a solid foundation, hopefully you have prepared them and have a good relationship with them. Other than six months of total crazy his jr year, his adolescence was pretty painless for both of us.
If you have treats, give them to one child to hand out to the others.Siblings have a lot of negative interactions. There’s jealousy, competition for resources, perceived injustices. You have to create opportunities for them to have positive interactions.The simplest way of doing this is with treats.If you’re passing out cookies, give them both to Child 1 and say: “here, this one’s for you and take the other to your sister”. (Obviously you need to be right there to see that they do it, lol.)There’s nothing nicer than to see a kid saying to another kid: “here, this is for you” and the other kid saying “thanks!” It warms your heart, and they actually really enjoy it, too.Same goes with gifts, good news etc. “Hey LO, tell your little brother we’re going to the beach tomorrow”— that kind of thing.They’ll cherish the memories, too.
Dont take the tablets away, take the chargers away. They have to ration the battery and helps em become less dependent on it.
Not a parent but a preschool teacher! If a certain child doesn’t want to wear their jacket while outside, we’ll usually just slip it on backwards & zip it up the back; it’s harder for them to get off, they always think it’s so silly, and they’ll use the hood as an extra pocket (usually for wood chips and dirt lol)
If a child falls or gets hurt, let THEM tell you how much they’re hurting. Never react until they do. If one of my kids fell (I was a nanny, not a mom) my first reaction would be to hold for a second or two and evaluate if I saw any real problems (blood, etc), follow up with a calm “Op, you okay?” If a parent or authority figure freaks out every time they fall, it teaches them that minor scrapes and bruises are really something to freak out over. A kid knows when he’s really hurt, and he’ll let you know. If it’s just a bump, they don’t panic because you’re not panicking. Part of growing up means figuring out what pain is and learning how much isn’t a big deal.
I use my toddler’s fierce independence as a weapon against him.When he refuses to do something, like clean up, I threaten to do it for him.His boiling rage at the thought of anyone helping him blinds him and he does whatever I told him to before I have a chance to steal his glory.
When you feel like yelling, start singing instead. It helps you exert that extra little bit of energy without screaming.
I made the kids ‘choose’ they’re own car seats. Made it ‘theirs’, and that no one else can sit in it.This pride of ownership made them fine and okay with always getting and sitting in their carseats til they no longer needed them. Never a screaming match like I’ve seen with other people’s kids.
Not a parent, but I worked at a daycare. Instead of saying “no” all of the time when they are younger, try to say “no thank you” instead. I thought it was weird when I started, but they respond to it so much better. Also, if they’re being really naughty, a firm “no” will sound more alarming and serious too.
Dennys is where I teach them restaurant etiquette. Zero pressure & light on the wallet.
Teach your kids to describe tastes instead of just saying “I like it or I don’t like it”, and don’t allow the word “yucky” or “gross”. Crunchy, soft, chewy, creamy, crispy, salty, sweet, bitter, green, slippery, juicy, rough, hard, fruity, meaty, mild, spicy, hot, cold, and gritty are all good ones. When you’re trying a new food, the rule is that they need to try a few bites and describe exactly what it tastes like. So celery could be crunchy and stringy and strong but mild at the same time. Salmon with panko crusting is salty and soft but with a bit of crunch and tastes good with a bit of sour lemon on it. Tomatoes are slippery and mild and not really sweet or sour, but they taste good with a little salt and the heat from pepper.It gets kids more interested in experiencing food instead of judging it just based on whether they think they will like it. It prevents a bit of “I don’t like it”, “you’ve never tried it so how do you know you don’t like it”, “I just know” kind of scenarios, and helps them describe why they like or don’t care for certain foods. I don’t expect my kids to eat everything and tell me they love it, but I do expect them to ty it and give it a fair chance. It’ll also help prevent embarrassment if you take them to someone’s home and have them be like “BUT I DON’T LIKE _____” if you teach them to simply say “it’s not my favourite” or “can I have more of _____ and just three bites of _____”.It’ll also help them learn what they need to do to foods that aren’t their favourite to make them enjoy them more - plain avocado might not be their jam, but with salt and pepper or mixed into guacamole, it’s actually pretty good. Cauliflower raw or roasted might not be their favourite, but cooked and puréed into a creamy soup with bacon and green onions and shredded cheddar is their favourite. You’ll learn what flavours your kid likes and you can use this to alter recipes to make them more palatable. I learned that my son who I thought hated meat actually just struggled with drier cuts, so I choose thighs or ground meats or make sure that it’s got a sauce of sorts. My older son likes cheese on its own but not always on things, so he’ll often have a deconstructed version of whatever we are eating so he can pair things as he likes, while my youngest eats better with food mixed together.
When any of her kids (me included) would start up the endless “why?” cycle, my mom would ask us “why do you think it’s like that?” in response. More often than not, it put any one of us on the spot to have to mull something over and stop (or at least slow) the cycle.If nothing else, I think it taught me how to better word my questions to get a more effective answer. I always hated when adults would say “because I said so” when really they didn’t know any more than I did.
Let them be messy sometimes. I’m a neat freak so this was hard for me at first. Doesn’t matter what kind of home you have, just put them in the tub with those bath paints, or tape some trash bags to a kid table or the ground and let them paint. Don’t worry about the mess, they will have fun and it’s building good memories.This one is kind of mean, but eh? When one of my kids wants something I’m eating, I just say “you don’t like this, remember?” 😁
The best hack is to treat your children and your spouse with the love, respect, and dignity you expect for yourself. And to as much as possible guide and lead rather than decree and enforce. All family dynamics flow from this principle in all settings.As for gimmicky things:For my early grade school aged children, they are only asked to fully organize their room and playroom occasionally or before multifamily house parties.The playroom had a walk-in closet with a keyed doorknob.Any time that they do not straighten up their toys as asked. there is no argument. They are given a final warning and then I simply clean for them, dispassionately.Anything I pick up is bagged and goes into the locked closet until they earn it back through chores. This process forces compliance with cleaning and organizing requests, provides collateral for negotiation, and eliminates clutter they do not really care about.
Not a parent but a trick my dad told me for when we were little; if u want to sleep in, turn the heat down. The cold makes the kids sleep longer. Super simple and probably well known.
If you have a toddler who likes to get naked when they’re supposed to be sleeping you can cut the feet off of footie pajamas and put them on them backwards (with the zipper on their back) and then they won’t be able to get them off.
“Go touch your door”. It’s a minor reset that stops a behavior or ends an argument. Refusing gets upgraded to “go to room and stay”. “They usually opt quickly for the first choice thus effectively diffusing whatever behavior needed attention.
Bubbles! Seriously magical. For especially long car rides or traffic or just for fun. Keep some bubbles up front (cupholder ideally), turn on the a/c or fan, hold bubble wand up & instant stream of happiness! I’ve found myself doing this alone in cranky traffic jams & open the windows to spread the mirth and glee. Also, have tiny bubble bottles (like wedding favor sized) and easy to share with others in need out & about.
Whenever my son goes to have a snack or a treat I tell him. “Let me taste it to make sure it’s not poison”. So free bites of snacks is coolBefore anyone gets too crazy, he knows it’s not real and has actually started taking my food to make sure it’s not poison. So it worked for a while now it has begun to backfire…. like most parenting tricks.
If your kid is doing something that’s annoying you, don’t yell at them for doing it, instead praise them for not doing it ( even if it’s only briefly). Instead of being pissy they will gratefully embrace the good behavior.
Two things: Give them small chores as soon as they can start simple reasoning (generally age 3-4). Make the chores fun, like feeding a pet every day. As they grow older, give more difficult chores. When they do chores without being asked, give a reward (not food - either monetary or a coupon for something they like to do). My daughter’s “reward” was she would get to walk the dog. See where I’m going here?She was getting paid $30 a month as an 8 year old. She was walking the dog three times a day, feeding the dog and cat, and bringing the laundry to the laundry room every day. Eventually we started her on dishes and laundry also and increased her pay. We rotated all the chores except for walking the dog, she loved that one.The second thing is don’t put up with their s**t when they are toddlers. You as a parent know when your child is crying because they didn’t get their way. When this happens, explain to them that it’s ok to be upset, and it’s ok to cry, but they’re going to do it in time out - and when she’s done crying, she can come out.About the third time my 3 year old daughter saw that I meant it, she wouldn’t even make it to time out. She’d start to cry about whatever, and I’d point to time out and she’d get three steps toward time out and say “Ok sniff I’m done”. You might think this is a small thing, but it transitions very nicely into a healthy parental obedience when they are in middle and even high school.Also, If there are two parental figures in the house, you have to be on the same page. Try not to disagree with each other in front of the child. If your partner disciplines the kid for something, and you don’t agree, ask to speak to them in the other room or bring it up later.My daughter is 17, super well behaved, respectful to everyone, does great in school, and still does our dishes and laundry :)
The first 3 minutes when they wake up, the first 3 minutes when you fetch them from school and the last 3 minutes before they go to sleep - try to be calm, present and loving for those 9 minutes a day.
Saying “peanut butter” directly after swearing. I have a 6 & 4 year old that have never repeated a cuss word.However, my friend’s autistic daughter (11) called me out on it immediately.I consider it an unmitigated success, still.
Make ice pops, frozen water with a stick in it. When you want to reward them or if they are sad/hurt give them a ice pop. It’s just water (which is good) and no sugar and kids love them.Learned this at the preschool and worked until age 6 or so.
Let them use odd items to eat with. Spatulas are great spoon surrogates for example. When they’re a little older you can let them choose.
He who pays for the wifi, is God. Changing a password goes a long way in kid world.
Obligatory not a parent but please don’t be like “oh you like this” when your child says they don’t. First of all it shows that you aren’t willing to listen to their opinion, and if they don’t like it and you think it’s in their best interest to like it, state why they should like it instead of just being like “eat it.” My parents do that to me all the time to things I really don’t like, and instead of making me want to try it it just makes me hate it and gain a form of resentment. I already have issues with my mom so this is kinda biased but if your child doesn’t like you that much don’t do that that just is really bad. Reward based behavior works much better than punishment.Also, I am proof that you need to follow through with discipline because I know I can get what I want from my mom if I beg enough. I know this is bad but I’m still a human and I want what I want and am willing to do what’s necessary to get it.Honestly I hate the way I’m acting and I know it’s bad behavior but I can’t seem to stop it. I’m such a fg ae
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