Redditor u/Beneficial_Pizza7137 recentlywent viralon Reddit and all over the internet after sharing how he took inand raisedhis younger sister, who finally ended up calling him ‘dad.’ Scroll down for the wholesome and heartwarming story that might just restore some of your faith in humanity.
Bored Pandawanted to learn about some of the main challenges of raising one’s siblings and how others can support young caregivers, so we reached out to school psychology expert Jessica Koehler, Ph.D. She is the founder of theKoehler Academy, apublished author, and the host of theBeyond School Wallsblog on Psychology Today. You’ll find the insights that she shared with us as you read on.
Being a young parent is challenging enough, but things get even more complicated when you’re raising your sibling
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One man shared a heartwarming story about how he became a dad to his younger sister
Image credits:Beneficial_Pizza7137
There are so many moving parts to consider when you’re responsible for someone else’s welfare
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There are a lot of different factors to keep track of if you have to take in a younger relative due to complicated family situations. From work and chores to studying and actual parenting.
First, there’s your financial situation to consider. You need to get money from somewhere to keep a roof over your head and to put food on the table. That means that you have to find work and figure out how you’ll juggle that with looking after your younger sibling.
You’ll need to come up with an airtight schedule for how they’ll get to school and come back home. Everyone needs to be on the same page about when you’ll be back from work, who does what chores, and who’s responsible for cooking food and when.
Depending on the age of the child, the parent may want to teach them various skills (e.g. cooking, washing the dishes, vacuuming, doing their homework, etc.) to be more independent. They can talk about the importance of sharing the housework and why this is vital when one of them has to work.
According toDr. Koehler, there are many different potential challenges to consider when raising younger siblings. “Often, older siblings, especially those who are still adolescents or young adults themselves, may not have fully developed the emotional and psychological maturity needed for parenting,” she explained to Bored Panda that this, in turn, can make it hard for them to understand and manage the younger child’s emotional and developmental needs.
Meanwhile, as the young individual takes on the dual responsibilities of being a parent and a sibling to someone, it blurs the line between the two roles. This can be stressful.
On top of that, there are other considerations like money and time to keep in mind. The founder of theKoehler Academytold Bored Panda that because raising a child requires significant financial resources and time commitment, older siblings might find themselves struggling to balance work and school with childcare. This can, in some cases, lead to burnout.
Having a proper social support network is invaluable
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Another major issue is that these young sibling caregivers might not have a strong support network. “With guidance from experienced adults or access to parental resources, they can provide appropriate care or make informed decisions about the child’s upbringing,”Dr. Koehlershared with Bored Panda.
We asked the expert how other people can support these older siblings in their caregiving role. She explained to us that it all starts with creating a support network. “This can include extended family, friends, community organizations, and professionals like psychologists, therapists, and teachers,” she said that these people can then provide advice, and emotional support, as well as offer practical help.
What’s more, young caregivers should take the time to learn more about child development and parenting, whether using online resources or educating themselves in person.
The expert noted that it’s also essential to recognize when you may need the help of a professional for guidance or support, “whether it’s for dealing with emotional stress, behavioral issues in the child, or practical challenges.”
Raising ayounger siblingis somewhat similar to being a young, single parent. And though it can be incredibly challenging, it’s also deeply rewarding. You are, in effect, nurturing and guiding a tiny little person, helping them become the very best version of themselves. Arguably, it’s the biggest calling in the world.
Whether you’re a biological parent, guardian, or older sibling, parenting is always easier when you have a strong support network. When you have people in your life whom you know you can rely on, everything seems less overwhelming.
Good parents understand why it’s vital to constantly communicate with their children
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While being a ‘perfect’ parent is impossible and only leads to frustration, it’s still important to get the basics right. Research shows thatauthoritative parenting, which relies on calm assertiveness, is the best course of action, compared to the other three strategies of authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful parenting.
Generally speaking, children who are raised this way grow up to be happier, resilient, emotionally healthy, get good academic results, are self-reliant, and aren’t afraid to stand up for themselves.
The foundation of being a good dad is making your family a priority (of course, remembering to take care of yourself, too). What really matters is that dads show their kids that they love and appreciate them.
This means spending quality time with them, even when there are issues at work and a dozen other sources of stress. Those small moments spent together are worth more than anything.
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The young dad later shared a wholesome update
The author was very vulnerable with his readers
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