Ever found yourself in a situation where you’re torn between giving your kid freedom and making sure they’re safe? Welcome to the circus arena of parenting. It’s a juggling act that makes crossing a tightrope seem like a walk in the park. But what happens when that balancing act goes wrong, leaving you questioning if you’ve accidentally become the villain in your own child’s story?
This is what was on a 41-year-old mom’s mind when a regular bus trip with her 15-year-old daughter, Beth, turned into a storm of controversy.
More info:Reddit
Image credits:Jakob Scholz (not the actual photo)
Rebellious 15 Y.O. teen refuses to sit next to her parents on the bus, blasting her headphones and completely oblivious to her surroundings
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On a regular Saturday, our mom and her rebellious daughter were riding the bus. Just like on every bus ride with her parents, Beth always sat way behind her mom, lost in her own world, blasting her headphones and completely oblivious to her surroundings.
Beth’s parents had tried many times to explain to their daughter the importance of staying alert in the jungle of public transportation but, asteensdo, Beth also ignored her parents’ warnings. “We’ve had talks with her about how dangerous it is to be completely unaware of your surroundings, especially on a public bus, but she refuses to pay attention,” says the frustrated mom.
Image credits:Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
According toDr. Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist and author ofThe Conscious Parent, “The only things we really ‘learn’ are the things we learn for ourselves. It’s when we learn something for ourselves that it becomes intrinsic to us. We just naturally do what it is we’ve learned, without having to be urged to do it or disciplined into doing it.”
Image credits:Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)
The teen’s family calls mom cruel and irresponsible for punishing her daughter in such a way
Image credits:mynameissntsophia
“When our children engage in less-than-desirable behavior, how are they to learn? If they are to learn for themselves, it can’t be because we impose the lesson on them. Imposing a ‘lesson’ on children is the opposite of them learning for themselves. Like ourselves as adults, our children learn best from consequences. What they don’t learn from is punishment,” Dr. Tsabary states. This raises the justifiedquestionthat has us all scratching our heads: were our mom’s actions a teachable lesson or a form of punishment?
Image credits:João Jesus (not the actual photo)
According toexperts, if you want to teach your kids independence, consider allowing them to make their own mistakes and offer them choices and freedom , but within limits. Children thrive when they encounter challenges that foster essential skills like resilience, determination, and self-sufficiency, preparing them for future independence. “Offering reasonable levels of freedom and allowing children to make choices is a great way to empower them, build confidence in their decision-making skills, and help build a sense of responsibility.” So, in a way, the mom’s test was a pretty good way to gauge whether her daughter is ready to be granted more independence in a (relatively) safe environment.
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