Stand-up legend George Carlin once said: “Think of howstupidthe average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that.” Stupidity, of course, is relative; what one person deems common sense can be a revelation to another. But that’s the beauty of the human experience, isn’t it?On the Internet, sometimes we call those kinds of people who make questionable choices “Kevins.” The folks at the “Stories About Kevin"subredditshare their humorous encounters with Kevins and Kevinas that would probably put your personal experiences withdumb peopleto shame.To know more about the community,Bored Pandareached out to the moderators of the community. One of them,u/Nightcrawlerben, kindly agreed to chat with us about the subreddit’s popularity and where we should draw the line between poking fun and cruelty. Read their thoughts below!This post may includeaffiliate links.
Stand-up legend George Carlin once said: “Think of howstupidthe average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that.” Stupidity, of course, is relative; what one person deems common sense can be a revelation to another. But that’s the beauty of the human experience, isn’t it?
On the Internet, sometimes we call those kinds of people who make questionable choices “Kevins.” The folks at the “Stories About Kevin"subredditshare their humorous encounters with Kevins and Kevinas that would probably put your personal experiences withdumb peopleto shame.
To know more about the community,Bored Pandareached out to the moderators of the community. One of them,u/Nightcrawlerben, kindly agreed to chat with us about the subreddit’s popularity and where we should draw the line between poking fun and cruelty. Read their thoughts below!
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Pretty sure my sister is a Kevin. There are at least a dozen stories like this.We were out to eat at a Chinese restaurant, and the waitress, who was Asian, came up to us and asked us what we would like to order in English. Kevin looks shocked and doesn’t even wait for the waitress to leave as she loudly proclaims, ‘I understood everything she said!My family looks on at her in utter disbelief as my mom explains to her that’s because she spoke in English.
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I used to live with a Kevin. He did so many stupid things that I can’t possible mention all of them, but here’s a selection:Kevin was allergic to strawberries, nuts and tomatoes but still ate strawberries, nuts and tomatoes.He was also diabetic but once went on a several hour long hike in the wilderness without any of his medicine or any snacks. He didn’t tell us until his blood sugar became so low that he almost passed out, and then we had to scramble for berries that he could eat while one of us had to RUN to get help.He once put stuffed armchairs outside and was surprised when they were ruined eight months later.He didn’t know you had to clean a toilet. He was just surprised that his was grimy and dirty while everyone else’s was not.One time the electricity suddenly went out. It was Kevin’s fault. He had tried to fix his computer with a scalpel. I still to this day have no idea what he was trying to achieve with a damned scalpel. We fixed the electricity and told him to stop playing with death. An hour later the electricity went out again. Any guesses why?Anyway, he’s now an architect who’s responsible for actual houses.
So my brother Kevin used to work at McDonalds. On his very first shift he was starting at the menu board absolutely baffled on and off for about an hour.Eventually his manager came and asked him what was up and Kevin responded with “what’s A.D.D bacon?“The manager looked baffled for a moment apparently before bursting out laughing, “you mean add bacon? Like add bacon to a burger?“Kevin having a lightbulb moment finally go off in his head was like “ohhh it’s the word add hahahaha thanks"He came home and proudly told everyone this funny story
The “Stories About Kevin” community describes a “Kevin” as a person “who consistently or greatly shows a complete lack of intelligence throughincompetenceof social and societal norms, or is purposefully antagonistic in their poor decision making.“Stories with small, understandable mistakes have no place in “Stories About Kevin.” “If they misspell a word, or make a simple mistake, they are not a Kevin,” the group’s rules read. “They dropped something? Not a Kevin.” Stories aboutpeople being rudeor inconsiderate don’t exactly fit either. A person has to be lacking intelligence to truly be a Kevin.
The “Stories About Kevin” community describes a “Kevin” as a person “who consistently or greatly shows a complete lack of intelligence throughincompetenceof social and societal norms, or is purposefully antagonistic in their poor decision making.”
Stories with small, understandable mistakes have no place in “Stories About Kevin.” “If they misspell a word, or make a simple mistake, they are not a Kevin,” the group’s rules read. “They dropped something? Not a Kevin.” Stories aboutpeople being rudeor inconsiderate don’t exactly fit either. A person has to be lacking intelligence to truly be a Kevin.
My friend’s wife is a Kevin. He told his wife about an article he read about people in Siberia digging up frozen mammoth tusks and selling them.Her: ‘That’s terrible!‘Him: ‘Why is it terrible?‘Her: ‘They’ll sell all the frozen ones and then people will start killing mammoths for their tusks, and pretty soon they’ll all be extinct!’
I think my best friend may be a Kevina.Recently I went to visit my friend and spend a week with her and her parents at their lake house. She picked me up from the airport and we drove several hours to get to the lake house. I remember having a fleeting thought on the drive that we have to be getting low on gas due to the sheer amount of time we were driving. I brushed it off and we made it to our destination no problems.The next morning her dad asked for the keys so he could drive to town to pick up groceries. He left and came back two minutes later stating that the car didn’t have enough gas for the 10 minute drive to town. He also asked Kevina how we made it all the way from the airport without getting gas.I kid you not, Kevina looked her dad straight in the eye and said, “Dad what do you mean? The car has a half tank. I checked multiple times since we left the airport and it’s still sitting half full.“Her dad, completely dumbfounded, looks at her and says, “Jesus Christ, you were looking at the oil temperature the whole time weren’t you?” Spoiler alert, she was. She thought the oil temp gauge was the gas gauge and didn’t notice the blaring low gas light at any point in the drive.
To find out more about the subreddit, we messaged one of the community’s moderators, u/Nightcrawlerben. They were posting stories about the Kevins they met on the subreddit 10 years ago, so, we were curious to know what, in their opinion, draws people to such a community.“I think people share stories about Kevins they have encountered in their life because they have found some enjoyment or entertainment from it,” u/Nightcrawlerben tells us.“Personally, I’ve had a pretty interesting life up until this point and I’ve shared these stories with friends [who] tell me all the time how this could be a story from Reddit. So, I decided to post them and read other people’s experiences. It’s nice to know that people can relate even when your life is going in a crazy direction.”
To find out more about the subreddit, we messaged one of the community’s moderators, u/Nightcrawlerben. They were posting stories about the Kevins they met on the subreddit 10 years ago, so, we were curious to know what, in their opinion, draws people to such a community.
“I think people share stories about Kevins they have encountered in their life because they have found some enjoyment or entertainment from it,” u/Nightcrawlerben tells us.
“Personally, I’ve had a pretty interesting life up until this point and I’ve shared these stories with friends [who] tell me all the time how this could be a story from Reddit. So, I decided to post them and read other people’s experiences. It’s nice to know that people can relate even when your life is going in a crazy direction.”
Kevina’s mother runs a Subway fast food franchise that my friend frequents with his partner and daughter. For reasons that are not entirely clear, teenage Kevina got kicked out of school. To help her occupy her time, Kevina is now a trainee ‘sandwich artist’ at her mother’s Subway franchise.My friend, his partner, and his daughter usually buy one footlong sub and ask to have it cut into thirds so they can share it. Usually, that isn’t a problem, but this time Kevina was serving them. She assembled the sub (doing a pretty poor job of it) and then cut it in half. Her mother/supervisor told her to do it again.So Kevina assembled another sub, and proceeded to cut it into quarters. At this point, my friend was covering his mouth as it gaped in disbelief. Kevina’s mother/supervisor explained to her that cutting the sub into quarters won’t help when the customer wants to share it between three people.Unperturbed, Kevina took away one quarter of the sub and said, ‘OK, now they can share it between three people!’ Her mother/supervisor attempted to explain that a customer won’t be happy if they don’t get the whole sub they paid for.We’re now wondering about two things:Firstly, how does someone make it to their teens without understanding fractions?Secondly, was the real reason Kevina got kicked out of school due to frustration with incredibly poor academic performance?
In my school, we had to do about six to eight months of social service before graduation. I — being an edgy teenager — decided to do mine in a funeral home. [Kevin] confessed to me he wouldn’t have the guts to work at a place where they kill people.
There’s a fine line between poking fun at someone for acting silly in a harmless way and being malicious and mean about it. When we brought this up to u/Nightcrawlerben, they admitted that some of their posts come across as insensitive today even to themselves.“I haven’t posted in about 10 years and decided to look back on my posts earlier today. Most of my posts were from 10 years ago, it’s interesting to read what I had posted, and the lingo I used. I would not post things with the same vocabulary choices as I did 10 years ago.”
There’s a fine line between poking fun at someone for acting silly in a harmless way and being malicious and mean about it. When we brought this up to u/Nightcrawlerben, they admitted that some of their posts come across as insensitive today even to themselves.
“I haven’t posted in about 10 years and decided to look back on my posts earlier today. Most of my posts were from 10 years ago, it’s interesting to read what I had posted, and the lingo I used. I would not post things with the same vocabulary choices as I did 10 years ago.”
Oh the stories I have, I think my husband could be the king of all Kevins. One of my favorites is when he wanted to remove his back hair but no one was around to help. His great idea was to get Nair body hair remover, spread it on the bathroom floor, and lay in it.I can picture all 6’4”, 300+lbs of him doing Nair angels in our bathroom.He gets in the shower, rinses it off, and then goes about his day. He went to a work appointment, worked out at the gym, then picked up the kids from school. While walking out, our son asked why he had a bald spot on the back of his head.OMG, he got Nair in his hair and had a perfect bald 3 shape on the back of his head. After a few more days, more hair fell out, and it was a perfect 8.
When I was in eighth grade, my teacher struggled mightily to convince a Kevina that bees are pretty much normal insects, but when they sting you, they’re injecting a toxin that hurts as a defense mechanism.Kevina did not believe her. Instead, she thought that bees buzzed because they obviously contained electricity, and the sting was, therefore, actually an electric shock.
u/Nightcrawlerben says that intentions matter a lot in this case. “Ultimately, I think it’s okay to poke fun at ignorance, especially if it’s something we can all relate to,” they tell us. “We all have a friend who is constantly ignorant [of] the situation, but, in the end, we still care about that friend.”
The mod also believes people should keep in mind that there’s a thin line between poking fun and cruelty. “We aren’t out to make fun of people with malicious intent or talk about situations that are cruel. We just want to share stories that could have been frustrating at the time, but we’ve since then calmed down and shared the story for others to enjoy,” they explain the subreddit’s philosophy.
So a few co-workers in a different department than mine were talking together and one brings up how there is already snow in Idaho. One of them shows the other a photo on their phone and says, ‘I can’t believe there’s already snow in Idaho. It’s October!‘Now, Kevin is within earshot of this conversation and decides to chime in.‘But it’s not October in Idaho yet…‘Kevin thinks states are in different months.The other two are just flabbergasted and it takes them a moment to process what they just heard before they can tell him how wrong he is.
She was incredibly book-smart. Maths, chemistry, biology — absolutely spot on, straight As. She struggled with physics and English, and it puzzled her teachers as the skills she needed to pass she could obviously utilise given her grades in other subjects.The highlights from our time were:— She put tinfoil in the microwave, and it caught fire. She put the microwave in the kitchen sink and turned on the tap to put the fire out. While it was still plugged in.— She was having trouble with geography and the teacher was trying to explain and failed. Eventually, the teacher resorted to basics and asked her to point north. Kevina pointed to the ceiling.— If you asked Kevina directions, she’d have to hold her hands up to ‘look for the L for left.’ Fair enough, a lot of people struggle with that and use that trick. Kevina would do it with her palms facing her.— We watched a movie together once, and about halfway through, I realised she shared her name with the main actress and pointed it out. Her reply: ‘Really?! What’s her name?!’
I worked with the dumbest doctor I’ve ever met. He was dumb, socially inept, lazy, a complete narcissist, and not particularly good at keeping himself clean. He truly had no redeeming qualities. Not going to give identifying details or name his specialty, but here are his top five “accomplishments”, starting with the least bad:1: Getting lost on the way back to the unit2: Asking WHERE the parking garage that had been under construction for months was. Not “when’s the garage opening?” or “How do I get into the garage?”; just….”Where’s the garage?”3: talking about military history and insane pet ideas (Benedict Arnold had to commit treason because the Army wasn’t paying him enough!) instead of seeing patients4: making insane medical decisions (not exactly what happened but think of something like putting a patient without cancer or autoimmune disorder on chemotherapy)5: wearing other doctors’ white coats, with their names embroidered on the coats. When I suggested getting a coat with his name on it, or at least covering up the other names, he chose to cover the name….WITH CLEAR TAPE.
I 30 F have 2 daughters and am currently pregnant with my 3rd girl. We just found out this morning. On the drive to my husband’s mothers house he explained how he was a bit disappointed about having a girl. But then he said “I should’ve expected this because you have 3 sisters”I explained that me having 3 sisters have nothing to do with the gender of our child. He said it’s genetics and that I’m the reason for our daughters. I told him that’s not how biology works, he said it is.He then went on the explain that his mom only has brothers and his two oldest brothers both have two sons because his mom’s side. I told that doesn’t make any since because it should be the same for him then. He said no because both of their wives have more brothers than sisters.He was getting frustrated but I was just laughing at him. I explained that him and his oldest two brothers have different dads, but out of his dad’s 8 kids, 3 are boys and 5 are girls. The men determines the gender.He said that not true because the kids his dad had with his mom are all boys. He dropped it and said he’ll ask his mom who has a degree in biology.So we get to his parents house for brunch and he asks his mom if I’m the reason we kept having girls. She told him bluntly that the men determines the gender and it’s actually not a 50/50 chance. She then went on to explain that the more of one gender you have, the higher the chances that your next child is also going to be that gender.So he asked is it likely that he’ll have a boy. She told him that if he keeps trying it might happen. He just walked to the car and said he’s going for a drive. I received a text from him saying that I didn’t have to embarrass him like that. I was so confused. Aita?
We were curious to know the story of the subreddit’s inception. “I believe there was a different community where someone was posting content that people liked with the main person being called ‘Kevin,'” u/Nightcrawlerben says. “Those stories became pretty popular andr/StoriesAboutKevinwas born.”
I was searching for my phone earlier today and asked Siri to call my phone. My phone began to ring and it was in my hand the entire time. I feel dumb.
About a year ago, I was training to be a machine operator in a food processing plant. Kevin was the supervisor. One day, a forklift’s rear-view mirror broke off and shattered next to one of the machines. Kevin swept up the glass, and then proceeded to swing the bag containing said glass over his head in a circular motion. When confronted, he said “I was told the mirrors were plastic”, completely oblivious the the fact that the contents of the bag were still sharp. It’s a goddamn miracle he didn’t injure himself or anyone else after that stunt. A few months later, Kevin was moved to a different position due to creating a hostile work environment.
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There’s a paradox about people perceiving how smart they are: the more intelligent you feel, the dumber you actually are. It’s called the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The two researchers, David Dunning and his grad assistant Justin Kruger,did an experimentin 1999 with undergraduate students. They found an interesting phenomenon: people who areless competentat something usually tend to overestimate their capabilities, and vice versa.
This took place over a decade ago, when I was 17. I was getting my A Levels from a high school in India (I’m Indian). There was this Kevin who was a part of our group. Very funny guy. He had a lot of non-Kevin moments as well. But most of the time, he was a complete Kevin; I can’t be sure if he was playing dumb for laughs or just really dumb at times.At that time, the [emergency contraceptive] pill that was easily available cost like 2.50 USD, was called something like ‘Pill 72,’ and had two pills in it. The first pill had to be taken within 72 hours of sexual activity and the second had to be taken 12 hours after the first. So we all knew that because it was mentioned in the little booklet that came in the box.Well, one day, Kevin and his girl lost their virginities to each other. Of course, they used no protection at all. Kevin and his girl were at my boyfriend’s house, and we were all chilling. A guy from another couple bought the pill(s) for Kevin’s girl and handed them over for her to take.Kevin, like the gentleman he was, opened the packaging for her, poured her a glass of water, and gave her a pill in her hand. Then, to our horror and amusement, he takes the second pill, pops it into his own mouth, and then proclaims ‘done.‘It took us the next half hour to explain that he wasn’t supposed to take it; it was meant only for her. He still couldn’t understand. We made him read the booklet, we tried to find a video for him to watch. He was still unconvinced. It got to the point where someone ran down to get his girl another pill for her to take 12 hours later.I heard he took the 2nd pill again, ‘just to be safe.’ In fact, the next time they used the pill, they bought two, and he took one set and she took the other. We tried to talk sense into the girl, and she said, ‘Just go with it.’
For a presentation, he wanted to print a video onto paper. When the printer finished printing just a screenshot of YouTube, he was almighty about, ‘Wow the library printers sure are old, they can’t print video yet.‘When I asked him what the f*** he was talking about, he mentioned that if we printed a video into our presentation the teacher would be more impressed. When I tried telling him that it was impossible, his response was, ‘Dude, how do you think they do it in the Harry Potter movies then?’
One day when I was ten my mother brought a Kevingellina to sleep over. In the three days she spent in our house she made some very interesting stupidities, but one really got me questioning how she functions as a human being.From the first moment she arrived she was claiming to have some pain in her eyes. She said she wasn’t seeing well and I could confirm they were red and teary. So straight to the act, after some thirty minutes Kevingellina asks for painkillers and we had some pills at home, we kept around for occasional headaches. I gave them to her, thinking she was having a headache from the pain in her eyes. I then watched this lady GRIND three pills and SPRINKLE the powder into the inside of each lower eyelid. Her eyes got so sore and red I thought she would cry blood, but the lady remained calm and collected, as silent tears flowed from each eye. Didn’t even wipe her nose which equally leaked.
Dunning went on to write a book calledSelf-Insight, in which he explained that what we call “smart people” have higher levels of metacognition: they analyze and judge their ideas, knowledge, and skills more. “If you’re incompetent, you can’t know you’re incompetent… The skills you need to produce a right answer are exactly the skills you need to recognize what a right answer is,” he wrote inSelf-Insight.
My country is a bunch of islands. In my late teens I tried to pat a seal because I thought they were cute sea doggos. It chased me back to the car, I think I almost died lolI didn’t know what continents are until I was 27.Got fired from my last job as a cook because I kept forgetting to turn the deep dryers off overnight.I can’t drive I keep getting the accelerator and brake confused and just crash.
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Ultimately, haven’t we all at one point in our lives overestimated ourintelligence, skills, or knowledge? I know I definitely have acted like a Kevina once or twice. So, let’s not forget that while we chuckle at these Kevins. And, if you’re looking for more funny stories when you’re done with this list, check out our previous article about the “Stories About Kevin” subreddithere!
Had a coworker once, he worked in an office but was super handy. He also had a kid. Way it works in my country, when you wish to study at the Uni, you sit for tests and then fill a list of departments you would wish to go into, first being your favourite and descending.Well, according to how everyone did and last year’s results, he was probably going to a department far from home, but that would only be definite the following couple months. Kevin was no fool, though. He knew if he went to rent a house in September he had less chances of finding decent housing at a reasonable price for the kid. So he went 2 months early. Found a nice little apartment, paid the deposit, installed appliances, painted walls and bought furniture.September came along with the results. The kid was accepted at the same department of a different city.
A couple years ago, I worked at a cafe and met my fair share of… interesting people, but this couple takes the cake when it comes to sheer stupidity. For some quick context, the main entrance to the cafe is a door you just have to pull in order to open.I was cleaning up the coffee machine when I looked out the glass wall to see a man and a woman approach the cafe. The woman tries to push open the door.It doesn’t work.I figure she just did that classic thing where you’re not sure which way the door opens and just try pushing first since it requires less effort than pulling. So I don’t think much of it and just get ready for when they enter.She pushes the door again.Okay. Maybe she figured the door was just stuck. I mean, that happens every now and then, right?I’m about to go help when I see the man walk past her with that ‘I got this’ look on his face. He confidently places his hand on the handle and……he pushes.He looks genuinely surprised and tries again. And again. And again. Each time, he gets more forceful, at one point slamming his shoulder against the glass door. The two are so preoccupied with this door that they don’t even notice me staring dumbfounded at them the whole time, other than being, you know, helpful.Eventually, I figure that if I don’t help, they’ll either leave or break the door, so I push myself from the counter to go there and help them. That’s when they spot an open sliding door on the other side of the cafe, leading to the outside tables, which are very popular at that time of the year, and decide to go around and squeeze past all the guests sitting there and enjoying their meals.When they finally made it through, it’s as if the stars and planets aligned perfectly. They look towards the main entrance to see an old man approach, place a hand on the handle, and… pull the door open with no effort.It had been an absolutely uneventful day up until that point, so I had to ask a coworker who didn’t witness this to handle them, and I just walked into the back to laugh.
I was in high school during the start of the AIDS scare. I was the one most students asked for advice on random science issues. So one day my friend who is the son of a doctor asked me “if you have AIDS and you have sex with a girl who doesn’t have AIDS then some of the AIDS leaves your body, so if you do that enough can you cure yourself of AIDS”.I tried explaining how diseases work, how viruses multiply inside the body, and how jacking into a toilet removes the same amount of AIDS (or any other virus) from your body as having sex. But he didn’t seem convinced.He also was at the time considering studying medicine and had exam results that were in the range to make that possible. He scored higher than me in the science exams, which was partly because I wanted to study Computer Science at university and knew that I didn’t have to try hard to get sufficient marks for that but also partly because he was getting really good marks in science subjects - including biology!How someone can get good marks in high school biology and not understand how diseases work remains a mystery to me to this day. I have considered this matter over the last 35 years and still can’t work it out.
Let’s keep this short and simple. For every 100$, 50$ at my work we run it through a special safe, if it’s fraudulent claim we don’t have money for change(even if we do), if it’s real, dish out the change. Onto the storyI was working with Kevina and the situation went like this"Kevina when someone pays with a 50$ bill, we need to verify it.” As in, pass it through the safe, is practice.“Oh no, I typed it in the computer, I was just giving her change.” I internally face-palmed but I gave up. It was a real fifty btw so it didn’t matter.Later, I got a 50 myself and decided to call her over:“What’s the matter? Do you need change for the 50?““No, Kevina, I’m showing you what I meant when I said you need to process it first.““So you have enough for the change?“Yes Kevina. Yes. I do.
I used to work in logistics for a major sportswear company. In this position I talked to all departments and because any manager or lead in a department was too busy with “big picture issues” tied to any event they dumped getting everything there to the new hires, usually somebody fresh out of college.In regards to the actual move, I did all the work on the actual transportation arrangements. All I needed were some deadline dates and of course pick up and delivery locations. Because the people were fresh out of college they had to overthink everything and make a major production of it all. A few weren’t too bright and I had to be sure to get all the correct information, but it usually wasn’t a problem I just tried my best to help them so they could focus on the event. One woman though was so incompetent just getting the basics was near impossible.She calls me up and says she needs to get a shipment of t-shirts to our in-house screen printer. OK, this is an easy one.Me: Sure thing Kevina, just let me know where to pick up at and I’ll get this going.Kevina: What do you mean?Me: Where do I need to pick up the t-shirts that need to be screened?Kevina: What do you mean?Me: Where will the truck need to pick up the t-shirts at that need to be sent to the screen printer.Kevina: I don’t know. Would that be [name of company]Me: If that’s where the t-shirts are that need to be screened, yes.Kevina: I’m not sure what you’re asking.Me: I just need the location where the t-shirts are so I know where to send a truck to pick them up.Kevina: What do you mean?This went on for a few more minutes, she even got upset and screamed at me that she was sorry for wasting my time and was going to hang up. I somehow calmed her down and trying a new approach found out who the project was for, then offered to call them to get this sorted out. That was a short email and I had everything I needed in the response.T-shirts got picked up and screened in plenty of time for the event, I never spoke to Kevina again and think she only lasted a couple months.
Today…I (20F)was reminded of the day…I did some antics…where I could be deemed a Kevin.I thought you’d all appreciate it.Now remember i was 7 , so my brother who was my partner in crime must be 5ish. So we live in India , where power outages and hot summers prevail.So, imagine this scenario: It’s a blazing hot summer day, and the power decides to take a vacation faster than a cheetah sprinting on hot sand. My dad, being positively overheated, decides to rip off his shirt and drench the bed with some ice-cold water before plopping down like a roasted potato , in the afternoon around 3 , the lights went out which means my dad , opened the windows to create an air flow. But that wasn’t quite enough to cool him down. No, sir. He had to ramp up the drama and turn my brother and me into his personal fans.Deada*s , using napkins to fan my father.My toddler self thought what else is also cold? ICE…You see where this is going.We approached our dad with the brilliant plan of using ice trays as a makeshift cooling system. To our surprise, he agreed, either he was overheated and thus dizzy or probably thought of it as a joke and we being dimwits we are excitedly laid the ice trays on his belly. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? Let’s just say, the room suddenly went from hot to frozen in a split second. Picture the surprise on his face as he shot up, yowling like a scalded cat. But once he recovered, he couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
Kevina was a nurse (…) from a regional town, now living in the State capital. I knew her via my work friends where there was a small contingent of refugees from said town (she’d tried out at the job but was refused and remained on the fringe of the group), more power to them for running away from the farm.There were some odd things about her but not my circus, not my monkeys. She once complimented me on how nice my guitar was to play, rather shocking me as I’d left it at a mutual friend’s place, not really intending anyone else to touch it.She once caused a bit of a scene when some plan involving her driving somewhere when amiss as she’d let her registration expire the day before, not driving on expired rego was absolutely genius on her behalf, letting it expire when she had a job and all was what was dumb.One example of her odd behaviour was getting in someone’s bed naked with her boyfriend in someone else’s share house (OK?), leaping up in the middle of the night and running through the rooms still butt-naked (…OK?) and then reacting in horror when she found herself the centre of attention when she finally hit the kitchen, where everyone else was ( … what?). Running around naked in someone else’s house, sure, why not, but do it in style, for f’sake.Anyway, on a whole different occasion there was a party at another share house. My friend had gotten his drum kit there but failed to bring any sticks. I had some as the kit had lived in my living room once, so I caught the bus there and in front of the assembled guests produced them from my sleeve as a magician would with a bouquet of flowers. Amazing …Some months later, possibly in the order of a year, she saw me again and asked “Do you still have those sticks … because I want to test out this girl …“I had to disappoint her, as I was not a human Pez dispenser. If I could exude odd things from my person it’d probably be gold bars or moon dust, drum sticks I’d go to the shop and buy … they cost about a dollar apiece.
My friend and I went to a local theater show. Six people to a table: two adorable gay fellows, my friend and I, and two older woman friends.At one point Kevanjela randomly starts telling us about how she just got a new SUV. She tells us only her friend (friend beside) isn’t surprised when she tells people that this is the third car she’s had in less than a year. “Wow.. that’s.. a lot..”, we say. Kevanjela then tells us that her husband is Boberino and he bought each suv for her. There’s one city counsellor who owns half the town who’s name is Boberino and is very rich and in everyone’s business. This is a very small town and he does not have that common of a name. So of course this makes sense that she’s been gifted her third SUV in under a year. They’ve been upgrading. She’s rich and married to Boberino.My friend Lola says she’s actually been discussing with Boberino on facebook messenger about some fundraising ideas she’s had for one of Boberino’s businesses that everyone knows he owns. Kevangela nods and asks to hear more. Lola and I know of Boberino well and as a city counselor he is very active in facebook anyways. So this makes logical sense. Kevangela agrees.An hour later Kevangela pulls my friend Lola aside and asks to speak with her privately. I keep watching the show. Kevangela wanted to know why my friend was private messaging with her husband and if they were having an affair together.Kevangela completely ignored the fact that my friend was talking about a business the famous Boberino owns and just assumed it was her husband even though no one would think of her random Boberino husband who shares a name with the owner of half the town.Kevangela was so appalled at my friend for confusing her. As soon as Kevangela heard my friend was talking to Boberino, Kevangela immediately started texting her husband accusing him of cheating on her and did not think to first ask my friend, are you talking about my husband, Boberino Nobody?Apparently Boberino was on his way at that very moment to the theater with their kids in tow to try and prove to Kevangela that he wasn’t having an affair with my friend Lola.I wasn’t privy to the conversation Kevangela and her husband Boberino had once he got there, but i imagine it was something serious as she never came back inside..
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