Therelationshipdynamics within a family change once there is a stepparent or children. This is especially true for children, as it can take time to grow accustomed to a new parent.
Today’s story covers how a stepchild never became close to their stepparent, but still expects afortunefrom them, and how it looks from the parents’ perspective.
More Info:Reddit
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Coming to your family only for financial gain should never be the case as it makes you look bad already, but calling them a jerk makes it even worse
Image credits:Drew Hays (not the actual photo)
A man approached Reddit to see if he was being a jerk to his stepson, with whom he never had a close relationship
Image credits:Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
The stepson, Charlie, asked if his stepfather would pay for his children’s university the way he did for his biological grandchildren
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The man refused, saying that he wouldn’t as the kids never considered him their grandfather, not to mention he only saw them once at his wife’s funeral
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Charlie flipped out and called the man a “petty little man”, and said that his mom would be ashamed of the stepdad, and the man didn’t feel like he deserved this
Charlie and the OP (Original Poster) never really bonded, as Charlie made it clear from the beginning that the OP would never be a parent to him, as he had his biological father present. Charlie was always polite, but distant. Even though their relationship was quite formal, the OP still helped to pay Charlie’suniversitytuition and attended the graduation.
So far, the relationship between Charlie and the OP seems pretty amicable, even though they were never close. It’s important to note that when Charlie started his own family and had children, he never introduced them to his stepfather or arranged a visit.
The trouble began when the OP’s grandkid from his first marriage graduated from university and he paid histuition. Shortly after, Charlie somehow came to know this and reached out to the OP to ask if he planned to do the same for his children as well. Suddenly the stepdad became important once Charlie realized he had money.
Image credits:Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
But even then, the OP said to Charlie that he had money for Charlie’s kids in his will, and if they needed the money early, he could take it out from them. At least from the outside, this still sounds great – the man stillgenerouslydesignated money to Charlie’s children, despite not knowing them at all.
Well, apparently, Charlie didn’t think so. He called the stepdad a “petty little man” and if that’s not enough, he added that “mom would be ashamed of him”. Obviously netizens deemed the OP not the jerk there, saying that he doesn’t owe anything to him, and Charlie’s kids have their biological grandfather too.
But why do children have difficulty becoming close to their stepparents in the first place? According toPsychology Today, children typically have less of an issue growing accustomed to a stepdad than a stepmother. This is a combination of many elements, one of them being that the stepdad is typically not inclined to harshly discipline the children or try hard to “win them over”.
But even then, the children might notdevelopa bond with their stepdad. One of the leading factors is the feeling of ‘betraying’ their real biological father if they still have a relationship. If the stepdad doesn’t spend enough time and doesn’t discipline the child at all, or refuses to show any interest in them, the bond won’t be established either.
It’s hard to say why thebonddidn’t flourish between Charlie and the OP in today’s story, as there’s no context. All in all, it’s a complex predicament to be in as there are no rules of thumb.
Netizens support the man, saying that Charlie is unappreciative and only money motivates him to reach out to his stepfather
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