Needless to say, unexpected choices such as expensive gifts orunreasonable requestsdon’t exactly get the guests more excited about the upcoming event. On the contrary, they might start to dread it or refuse to go altogether, as some of the people on today’s list did.
Netizens on Quora were asked about the most unreasonable requests and demands that they’ve seenon an invitationto an event or received froma relativehosting a holiday celebration. They shared quite a few stories, each one more unbelievable than the other, so if you’re curious about whatbridezillasand other celebrants were brave enough to demand, scroll down to find their requests on the list below.
Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterview with an event planner and designer, a wedding and entertaining expert,David Tutera, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about odd requests.
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- I’m married.A male friend of ours is getting married and had asked my husband to be in the wedding party. He said yes. We had met his fiancée, Rachel, a handful of times but never got to know her on a personal level. Because of that, Rachel had suggested a get-together at her house prior to the wedding so that all the people who would be in the wedding could get to know one another. Makes sense.A week later I got an invitation in the mail for the party, as well as a note stating:“You are responsible for bringing 10 bottles of soda (must be name brand), home-made brownies for 25 people, 5 bags of chips (must be name brand). Each person can bring food to put on the grill but limited to a hamburger for each, or two hotdogs each, with a small piece of chicken. The rolls for these items have been assigned to “Luanne”, as well as all condiments (must be name brand).”My eyes! I had to read it ten times to believe it was real! Bring our own food to fit on the grill? As well as other food?My phone rang off the hook. Everyone was comparing their “YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS” list. She assigned one person to bring garbage bags and they were the clean-up crew. Another person was assigned decorations and linens.I, along with several others, called Rachel to decline. Her response: “Okay. But you are still responsible for your list, so please drop those items off to my house ASAP”.I told her that she is off her rocker.Long story short, the party didn’t happen. The wedding was postponed for over a year. It did finally happen. They divorced two years later.
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Destination weddings. What possesses brides and grooms to believe that most of the people they know can afford to fly off to some exotic destination. And that all of their employers will have no problem giving them the time to do it. And that travel like that won’t be an issue for older people expected to attend … or young people who now have to figure out what to do with children for multiple overnights. I’ll toss one in for my pet owning friends … they’ll have to figure out what to do with rover and kitty for multiple days.Even a destination a couple hours away can be a problem for some people. Those with no transportation, older people who can’t ride that far.I’d have to say that the destination wedding is one of the most selfish and self serving wedding ideas I’ve heard of in my life.
It’s safe to assume that celebrants tend to have odd requests not only for their guests, but the people who help make it all happen, too.In a recent interview withBored Panda, the event planning aficionado, David Tutera shared that over the course of his career, he had a fair share of people asking him to execute ideas that are far from typical. Be that as it may, “My philosophy has always been to say YES,” he said, adding that when you say yes, you open a new door that leads to unique moments and opportunities.“The success that I have received over all the years of creating once in a lifetime events is because I have said yes and I have found ways to make all my clients excited and grateful,” the expert shared.
It’s safe to assume that celebrants tend to have odd requests not only for their guests, but the people who help make it all happen, too.
In a recent interview withBored Panda, the event planning aficionado, David Tutera shared that over the course of his career, he had a fair share of people asking him to execute ideas that are far from typical. Be that as it may, “My philosophy has always been to say YES,” he said, adding that when you say yes, you open a new door that leads to unique moments and opportunities.
“The success that I have received over all the years of creating once in a lifetime events is because I have said yes and I have found ways to make all my clients excited and grateful,” the expert shared.
So I got invited to a birthday party of a woman, a friend at that time. The venue was a 5-star restaurant. I was humbled and loved her for the invite. A few days before the party, she called and insisted on me bringing everyone, including my children and husband to the party. I was hesitant. If I were having a party at such an expensive place, I would not invite spouses and families. I refused. She insisted, and I had to give in. I bought an expensive gift for her, just to appreciate her gesture and efforts. It was a cold November night, an extreme cold weather alert in place I remember. We arrived on time. The servers were running left right and center, keeping up to our demands. The food was good. I tried to limit ordering, assuming it would be a burden on her. She kept assuring me, “It’s okay-order what number 1 wants” etc. As the party came to an end, a server showed up with a leather folder and extended it to me. I looked at my husband, he gestured to me to open it. Inside was the bill of our food. A few hundred bucks. I looked at my husband again.He knew the look on my face.He quietly motioned me to pay it.Did I have a choice?Edit: Just so I am clear, it was you pay for your own food, just that no one knew it was until the servers showed up with bills. I love pay-for-your-own-food hangouts. But when you ‘invite’ people for birthday parties and then insist on bringing anyone for your own fun, try to make things clear before-hand. Sure I had money and I could pay. What if someone could not afford to pay and was caught off-guard? Because I know some were!
Ive not seen anything unreasonable on the invite but was in a wedding and was asked not to sit so we dont wrinkle our bridesmaids poofzilla dresses while we wait for brides mom to finally show up. Considering the circumstance it was quite unreasonable. Maaaan! Polyester gold dress with cheap as shoes in a room that was africa hot with 1 fan…oh yea bad combo for me. I stood, mom showed an hour late, we walked to the wedding song to the front where the pastor was and IT WAS FULL OF VIDEO LIGHTING! It was hot as the surface of the sun up there. So while the bride, groom and pastor were ramble ramble rambling on I just passed the f** out. Didnt even try to stop it or grab anything or yell out. I just thought ‘Its hot as f*** and Im sick of all this crap. Feel like Im boutaaa…….BLAP!’ It was sooooooo awesome!!LMAOOO! Want to know the best part? You can rewind and forward over and over and I go up down up down up down..heeee heeee comedy!
However, saying YES to unconventional ideas might not always be the best route to take when it comes to unreasonable or dangerous requests.“When a client asks for something dangerous or out of line or uncomfortable for the guests, you need to explain how it may affect the energy of the guests, or even make them feel awkward,” Tutera said, adding that they might feel unsteady with what they believe or deem to be too dangerous, scandalous, or simply odd.
However, saying YES to unconventional ideas might not always be the best route to take when it comes to unreasonable or dangerous requests.
“When a client asks for something dangerous or out of line or uncomfortable for the guests, you need to explain how it may affect the energy of the guests, or even make them feel awkward,” Tutera said, adding that they might feel unsteady with what they believe or deem to be too dangerous, scandalous, or simply odd.
I was the one making the request, but it wasn’t on the invitation.Having attended many weddings and other events from my wife’s family, I knew there would be certain family members that would show up to ours in just T shirts and jeans. Not acceptable.So in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I went to have tea with the aunts and cousins from her fily that loved to gossip and spread a rumor that some of my friends from the army that had been in special forces were going to stand at the entrance with paintball guns and shoot anyone who showed up in t-shirts and jeans.Not surprising, not one showed up in casual clothes and a few people who I had expected to kept asking me where the special forces guys were.
I was chosen as a bridesmaid for one of my friend. However, the bridesmaid dress that she chose was way too expensive ( I was a student in University and money was tight ). In addition to that I had to pay for the package of skin and hair treatment prior the D-day at the spa that she chose. And on the D-Day itself I also had to pay for the hairstylist and the make up person that she ‘provided’ for us bridesmaids. Those things are seriously expensive! And she didn’t allow us to do the hair and makeup ourselves as she was afraid that we won’t look good in a pictures.Also, she explicitly said that she expected us bridesmaids to gifted her something from the list of the wedding registry that she had prepared and those stuff were waayyy beyond my means . So nope..sorry girl, not gonna do that. Not ready to sell my kidneys yet. There were also 2 other girls that were unwilling to do that.
Tutera emphasized that the role of the event planner is to bring to life moments that have never been seen, which requires knowing your client well and researching how best to take it to the next level; yet there are times when they simply have to say no.“Just because a client is asking us professionals to do something, we do not have to execute the idea; if you feel that it will tarnish your name, your career, or insult someone, you should take the high road and pass.“Do not say you can do it; simply tell them that you will not be able to execute what they are looking for.”
Tutera emphasized that the role of the event planner is to bring to life moments that have never been seen, which requires knowing your client well and researching how best to take it to the next level; yet there are times when they simply have to say no.
“Just because a client is asking us professionals to do something, we do not have to execute the idea; if you feel that it will tarnish your name, your career, or insult someone, you should take the high road and pass.
“Do not say you can do it; simply tell them that you will not be able to execute what they are looking for.”
An invitation from a former friend’s granddaughter stated at the bottom, “No gifts valued at less than $100 will be accepted. See registry at ___________. Cash preferred.How would they know whether it was $98 or $102? Does that $100 include tax, and shipping, if ordered online? At the time, I was not working and had a small fixed income. $100 might as well have been $1000.I declined the invitation and simply sent the new couple a card wishing them well. I guess that might be why Grandma and I are now former friends.
We got an invitation to a wedding from one of my friend’s daughter. She actually wrote that she “wanted” cash; $100.00 or more. Nothing else because she has exquisite taste and she could do her own shopping. (Lol. ). Her last statement said that if you could not give her the cash she requested, then stay home. Can you guess how I spent my Saturday? Lol. yeah, I know!
Discussing the times he had to—or at least tried to—say no, David Tutera shared that he once had a client who wanted to be lowered down into the ballroom, seeking to make the moment come to life.“She wanted to be lowered down in her heavyweddinggown,” he recalled. “I said that the only way she could make this happen was if she took weeks if not months of practice.“She did take on the challenge—I should have known she wouldn’t chicken out—and she did not make the moment come to life.”
Discussing the times he had to—or at least tried to—say no, David Tutera shared that he once had a client who wanted to be lowered down into the ballroom, seeking to make the moment come to life.
“She wanted to be lowered down in her heavyweddinggown,” he recalled. “I said that the only way she could make this happen was if she took weeks if not months of practice.
“She did take on the challenge—I should have known she wouldn’t chicken out—and she did not make the moment come to life.”
Every year my family has a xmas eve buffet at my brothers house since he has a very large home, with exchanging of gifts,my niece had to work xmas eve and said she was working till 7pm she knew her work schedule all week but waited till the last minute 12/24 to tell everyone she had to work, our family party was already planned & everybody was there and it started at 7pm, she demanded that we all wait till she got there ,before we all sat down to eat. We have several elderly family members that needed to eat as their sugar levels were dropping as it was now getting close to 8:30 and my niece didn’t even bother call to let us know when she be getting there !We had kids crying wanting to eat and the elderly that needed to eat, food getting cold, so we all decided to sit down and eat and guess what time princess arrived ? 9:45 ! She got off work at 8:00 and then went to her boyfriends house and spent time there , then she went home to get a shower and out of her work clothes and then came over to my brothers house and had the nerve to be mad and screaming at everybody,because we all had eaten and we were starting opening gifts without her ! Who in the hell did she think she was ? She never called to let us know, when she would be getting there,she was inconsiderate and downright rude ,no respect for anybody else or thinking about anybody else .
“We will be having only our traditional foods, which everyone will be expected to share. Please set aside your usual dietary restrictions to come together as a family. No outside/unapproved food will be permitted.”I’m fking serious. I get that food becomes really complicated in a family with allergies, celiac, vegans, diabetics, and people on keto and WW, as well as religious restrictions, but your longing for a simplified table doesn’t mean you get to make bullst demands.
Another time the event planning professional remembers showing warning signs was when the father of a bride wanted to sing a song to his daughter, but did not want to practice; nor was he willing to pay for a second generator for power.“I begged him to get the second generator,” David shared. “When it was time for him to sing, he stepped on the stage, and let’s just say he wasbeyond awful. You can’t say I did not try to have him not step onto the stage.”
Another time the event planning professional remembers showing warning signs was when the father of a bride wanted to sing a song to his daughter, but did not want to practice; nor was he willing to pay for a second generator for power.
“I begged him to get the second generator,” David shared. “When it was time for him to sing, he stepped on the stage, and let’s just say he wasbeyond awful. You can’t say I did not try to have him not step onto the stage.”
My wife was asked to be a bridesmaid at my sister’s wedding. Then my sister proceeded to tell those in her wedding party that the wedding is on Eleuthera Island in the Bahamas, and the stay will be 3 days. There was no prior notice of this because she wanted it to be “a surprise”. All six girls declined - the costs would be over $3000 for each of them. To this day, sis still doesn’t get why it was considered unreasonable.
“Lunch Party Tomorrow at 12”.I received a work email for the following day from one of our team members. No reason was specified in the email, just the time and place to be. Usually, such lunch or dinner invitations are Project’s achievement related. I guessed this too was something similar.Our entire team arrives, thirty people in total. It was a buffet lunch at Barbeque Nation.After dessert, the boss of my boss excused himself to leave early for some urgent work. Before leaving he glanced at me, smiled and said “Thank You! “I was confused but smiled back out of courtesy.Another team member probably sensed my confusion. She said in a humorous way, whether I was aware that I am sponsoring their lunch. My jaw dropped!Turns out people who got promoted are treating all the team members. A total of six people, out of which four are considerably senior and so is their hike!The whole thing was their idea and I ended up becoming a clueless contributor. Who neither got to have a say nor had any knowledge about being one of the hosts!
This was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. I was not involved in the wedding, but you certainly couldn’t miss it.Back around 1979, the daughter of a prominent local couple was getting married. They owned a big hotel, so were well off and built a new house in a very prominent place in town. The daughter got married.However, after the wedding there was a huge article in the local paper about the wedding. This was not the custom, so I’m not sure if they paid to have the article put in there or what the deal was.It described in great detail everything about the wedding including how much every thing cost. For example, “the brides mother Mary, wore a beautiful gown, costing $3,000.” It went on to list how much everything cost. I couldn’t believe it.Then it went on to say how each guest was required to bring a money gift of at least $500. Which today would probably be about $1,500. I don’t know why anyone would attend a wedding like that.It was the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.
D. Tutera revealed that sometimes he has to say no to his clients not only because what they are asking for is not safe, but because it might be harmful to himself, too. “When clients ask for ridiculous things, I sometimes say no because it comes back to me as the planner and the designer, and [the event] must represent who we are as a company.“Everyone always remembers the last work we did,” the expert emphasized, adding that it’s important to make choices that will ensure that you stand out for all the right reasons.
D. Tutera revealed that sometimes he has to say no to his clients not only because what they are asking for is not safe, but because it might be harmful to himself, too. “When clients ask for ridiculous things, I sometimes say no because it comes back to me as the planner and the designer, and [the event] must represent who we are as a company.
“Everyone always remembers the last work we did,” the expert emphasized, adding that it’s important to make choices that will ensure that you stand out for all the right reasons.
A good friend was dating a woman for some years, they moved in together, and got engaged. I was invited to the wedding. I regretfully declined.The wedding was a 3 day event in the middle of nowhere Napa valley basically camping out. No amenities beyond a few communal cabins with cots. No showers. Very basic toilette facilities. Cooking on portable butane stoves…with food you brought yourself.No thanks buddy.
A bit of a background here. I have PTSD and I have anxiety and panic attacks. I am actually disabled due to them. I have ended up in the ER with them several times. I do not deal well with crowds. I do NOT do parties. There is to much noise and to many people. Holidays, including birthdays, in my family are done in a quiet fashion not a lot of people beyond immediate family. I drop in and say hi and leave as soon as my chest tightens. ALL of my family knows this about me. On to the unreasonable request.My first grandchild was having his first birthday. LOTS of my son and DIL’s friends and her family were invited. Im talking 40 strangers to me. He and his parents live a four hour drive from me. When I received my invitation to the party I declined citing my PTSD. I said I would be very happy to come a day before or after at their connivance. I would be happy to bring the cake and ice cream and a pizza or what ever. I didn’t want to put them out for a special day on their dime. My daughter in law threw a tantrum of epic proportions wondering why I couldn’t just suck it up for one day, wasn’t he special or important enough? I tried to explain No I couldnt just suck it up. I would be driving four hours one way to be there. I would be there a maximum of MAYBE 30 minutes and have to go. Then a four hour drive with a tight chest as the best case scenario. Staying at a hotel isnt an option as I mentioned I am disabled so not a ton of spare cash. She was so nasty to me I actually DID end up in the ER with a panic attack. I havent seen or heard from them for two years now.So the unreasonable request was that I put out the money to drive an 8 hour round trip to go to a birthday party I could attend for 30 minutes max. One that would land me in the ER.
This answer is really going to date me, but so be it. I received an invitation in which the bride and groom asked for money only. They wanted to take s 3 month tour overseas and wanted the guests to pay for it. It was suggested that you give $100 per person if a friend, $250 per person if a bridal party member and $500 if you were family. I was told they expected it whether you attended or not. I just thought it was rudely presented as a demand not a request. They expected us to give them $500 because our 3 children were invited. I haven’t even had a tour of Europe!
We were invited to attend, and made plans to be at the wedding, which was across the country. We’d talked to the groom several times, and told him we were making a family trip of it. It was planned out to attend 3–4 months in advance. Less than a month prior, the groom told us we couldn’t bring our kid, and that the recommended hotel for attending didn’t have any services to watch our child. We’d booked tickets, bought clothes, and made arrangements to be there. They recommended that maybe we could leave the child, unattended (who was 2 at the time), in the room for the ceremony, and then I should stay with the child while my husband attended the reception. We didn’t go to the wedding, or take that trip. If the invitation had noted that no children were to attend, it would have been acceptable but that was not the case.
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A few years ago I received a very pretty invite to an acquaintance’s wedding. It arrived in a white box with pink border, opened to the invite tied together with a big pink ribbon bow and included the RSVP card, picture of bride and groom and other extra items. It weighed a veritable ton.A few weeks before the wedding, another friend of mine called. She is much closer to the bride than I am so I mentioned seeing her at the wedding. She laughed and said the invites were the oddest thing she had ever seen. I thought she meant all the pomp and prissiness of them. Found out she received a different invite than I did.Hers was a standard Shutterfly type of invite in a plain envelope. Her invite looked a bit like this.Yep, she received a gift request, not an invite. never did find out why I received an invite and the closer acquaintance to the bride did not. I did not attend the wedding or send a gift. Neither did my friend.
NO CHILDREN. NO SMARTPHONES. NO MAIDS.Yes, you read that right. This is a common request/demand seen on most local Qatari wedding cards.Qatari weddings are held simultaneously in two venues - one for the men and one for the women. This is on the women’s side invite that these requests are typically seen
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Back in those days when my close friend was close geographically as well, one Sunday morning, one message popped up in Messenger.It was 2015.It read: ‘Hey Srinath! Hope you are good. You need to book your Tickets for June. I am getting married. You should come.’I casually scrolled up. The last conversation between us was somewhere in 2010.
About 20 years ago I had a coworker who was getting married. She had a bridal shower, at which we were supposed to give her gifts. (This is standard, but she made that KNOWN.) OK, fine, pretty typical. Then she had two more events—a “wedding shower” and a “house party”—where she explicitly noted on the invitations that people should be kicking in a lot of cash to help pay for her wedding, honeymoon, and house downpayment. Of course nobody from our work attended those. I think only her family went. She was livid but so what? People are insane.
I received an invitation quite a while ago from a former co-worker, with whom I was not very close. When I receive invitations from people I am not close to, or don’t know well, I usually just send a gift (and more than likely it will be a gift card).I didn’t actually read the invitation until I’d had it a few days, and I had to read it a few times to actually follow along. They were having their wedding at one spot, outdoors, at 8AM. Then a short “wedding coffee” would follow. Then a reception would be held six hours later at a country club that was at least 20 miles away from the wedding spot. At this point I was happy to not be attending, but the request for gifts (and this was printed on the invitation) had me laughing. They requested that all guests refrain from bringing wrapped presents and limit their gifts to money cards and cash. I disobeyed, sent a gift card from a local store, and heard nothing more. Not even a thank you.
friend was getting married in NY. I moved to Phoenix 5 years prior to her wedding. But it didn’t matter, as a bridesmaid I was requested to…chip into the bachelorette party which I wouldn’t be attendingthe only gift she wanted was guests to pay for her honeymoon ($8,000 total)Purchase a dress and pay for it to be tailoredpay for hair and make upspend $950 on an airplane ticket to NY, plus a hotel, plus a car. $2000 for just the trip alone for 3 days??? Ughwhen I get married, I will NEVER expect a friend to pay literally thousands of dollars to attend MY wedding. Tf is wrong with people nowadays!?
It wasn’t one that I attended, but I heard about it. Apparently the guests were being required to pay for their own dinner, the plates were $85 a piece. The guest is already required to purchase a gift, perhaps an outfit for the event, perhaps miss work, including the cost of travel for some, as well as hotel stays, requiring your guests to also pay for their meal, is beyond tacky. If the bride and the groom cannot find a way to pay for the meal, they need to edit the menu. Perhaps do a potluck, maybe only serve hors d’oeuvres and dessert. Maybe have a mid afternoon reception, after lunch, but before the big meal of the day, and serve small triangular sandwiches, and munchies, Perhaps find a way to have a barbecue and the gift to the bride and groom are a few individuals willing to help with the cooking. Going to a wedding can be expensive and not many people have a ton of extra disposable income to spend on also having to pay for their own meal, at an event they were invited to.An experience I had was being a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. Her and I were pretty close in childhood but into adulthood we sort of grew apart. About a month or two before the wedding, she asked me if I wanted to be in it. At first I wondered why she waited so long to ask, and then I realized it was because one of her other bridesmaids backed out and she needed to fill a space. I hesitantly said yes, paid $150 for a dress I would wear once, and paid another $75 at the little hip hair joint she insisted I go to. All of the other bridesmaids had gone there, though I was not told what time to arrive, and when I asked, was told she didn’t know when they were going, so I couldn’t even be part of doing that with the girls. Turns out I arrived a half an hour after they had left. I was not invited to a bachelorette party, or bridal shower, I was not invited to any of the dress fittings, in fact I was not invited to be a part of anything other than standing in front of the church for 45 minutes. The fellow she paired me up with, was smashed during the entire reception, and barely paid any attention to me at all, couldn’t even remember my name after being reminded of it three times. He was too focused on trying to figure out how to walk in a straight line. I’ve never been so happy to be done with a wedding! I still love my cousin dearly, but I think a lot more class could have gone into that event
I’ve seen 2 requests that were both appalling. 1 was the couple requests only cash money for gifts. No merchandise that’ll be returned anyway & no checks so we don’t have to wait for a check to clear or even bounce. Oh yes they really requested this.The 2nd request the couple asked that because the menu they chose was $75 a plate, we kindly ask that you contribute $40 for your meal to help defray our costs. Also only tap water was free. Everything soda everything was charged for even the bridal party had to pay for drinks, had to pay for their champagne for the wedding toast. Now the best part of both stories. This was the SAME BRIDE & GROOM. They made BOTH of these ASININE requests on a formally printed note inside the wedding invitations. Oh & to be further cheap, they didn’t include postage for the R.S.V.P.’s. Thankfully I live 6,000 miles away from where the festivities took place so I didn’t even send my denial R.S.V.P. back. But I venture to say it definitely wasn’t the DREAM WEDDING the couple were hoping for! Some people’s children
My cousin’s wedding. They sent a save the date before the invites. As the date got closer, I messaged her to see when invites were coming so I could RSVP. I was worried mine got lost in the mail. I was informed that they decided to just have a small Vegas wedding, with only 10 people invited because of money problems. No judgement here. Until the following week, when they sent everyone that was NOT invited a notice that they were going to Vegas, with a request for gifts, and only gifts that were on the registry
Strictly hearsay, because my couples aren’t like this, loleveryone dress in white. or black. or red. or any specific color-black tie, if the hosts are not providing black tie services-ceremony and reception hours apart. Nope. Nope. Nope-invites that include gift requests. Double bonus for invites that mention that the couple would like cash.-ceremonies in places that require hiking/walking/being outside in extreme heat or cold or snow-destination weddings that cost a fortune-requests to bring a dish or booze
I think it is very selfish to bring an elaborate dish to the celebration which requires kitchen time and resources. Unless the host or hostess specifically request or approve the addition, graciously accept the fact they want to do it their way, with their menu, and have enough work to do already without trying to accommodate unsolicited food. Very stressful and rude, despite best intentions.
It wasn’t a holiday celebration but a wedding.The Baltimore Orioles we’re in the 1983 World Series for the first time in 12 years.The wedding was on a Saturday and the World Series game was scheduled at the same time.The men in the family were asked not to monitor the game in any way.We had radios hidden as soda cans and my buddy brought a plug in tv for his car where we watched most of the game.
Someone I know (I won’t name names) had an informal wedding on one of the Boston Harbor Islands (where there was no running water and only a porta-potty). This meant that as guests we had to pay to take a ferry to the island and bring our own beverages (as its a National Park this had to be a dry wedding) and a request to bring a dish to share. In addition, they had not arranged for trash removal (again, this island was set up where you have to bring your trash back with you) so everyone was lugging trash on the boat back.To summarize, outdoor wedding in the summer where you had to pay to take a boat to the wedding location while bringing your own fluids as well as food to share and then at the end of the event, help transport trash to the “mainland”.
My little brother, mind you my little brother is now 60 years of age, 6 foot 3 inches tall, and big (heavy). I am the eldest, and at 5′9″ and maybe 140 pounds don’t really stand a chance.Anyway, when we were much younger, we used to have Christmas gift giving on Christmas Eve due to the fact that I was the first married, and I had to spend Christmas morning at my wife’s family home.Then later, when we were milking cows, I could not do gifts on Christmas morning as I was out milking cows.Needless to say, both of these reasons are LONG gone. Add in that I was teaching RCIA, and was scheduled as the sacristan for the midnight Mass (meaning I had to get there before 10 pm and open the doors, turn the lights on, and begin setting up for Mass.Thus, after Christmas Eve dinner, which in my family has always been a big deal, I wanted to lay down for a nap before I had to dress and drive into Church. But no, my brother wanted to open presents RIGHT NOW, and would yell and carry on because Mom wouldn’t let us open presents unless everyone was there.I really needed to sleep, but sleep was impossible with my brother carrying on like a Banshee, and killing him right before Mass was not an option…
It was a demand not a request. It was Christmas, 1981. My brother and his wife were hosting Christmas dinner. My mom required Christmas BE ON CHRISTMAS DAY, not Christmas Eve day. The reason it was a problem was because my son who was 9 years old had to go to his dad’s for the day, I had him Christmas Eve day.This meant I spent our FAMILY Christmas with everyone else in my family except my son. It was one of the worst days ever for me and changed things forever in the holiday dynamics. No one except my SIL spoke to my mom that day, not one word.
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