Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with certified parenting coach and co-founder ofCuddle Pixie, Zohaib Sunesara, who kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions on the topic.
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Not everyone aspires to be a parent or even enjoys spending time around kids
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This child-free woman had a tough time getting this through her SIL’s head, who insisted that she would help with her children
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He even recalls a session where a client’s sister avoided family trips altogether as she previously felt pressured to watch the kids. “The assumption that she would be “free” to help caused strain in their relationship. When I spoke with the parent, they admitted they hadn’t realized how this expectation came across. Assuming someone’s availability without their consent undermines their autonomy. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining positive family dynamics.”
“In reality, not everyone has the same level of comfort or interest in childcare responsibilities, and that’s perfectly okay. I once worked with a young aunt who loved her nephews dearly but felt overwhelmed when she was left to manage them for hours during a vacation.
The parents believed she’d enjoy the time and bond with the kids, but she confided, “I feel like I’m being put on duty without being asked.” It’s essential for parents to consider the perspective of their child-free relatives. While they may enjoy spending time with the kids, it doesn’t mean they want to—or should—assume full caregiving responsibilities,” he explained.
“Alternatively, you can offer compromises to show goodwill, such as taking the kids for an hour or two in the afternoon to give the parents a break. In my experience, family members are more receptive when you express your boundaries while showing empathy. Most conflicts arise not from the decline itself but from how the message is delivered,” he noted.
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The best thing that parents can do before going on vacation is make a childcare plan in advance
The best thing thatparentscan do before going on vacation where they aim to disconnect and relax is make a childcare plan in advance. Instead of trying to pass on their kids to whoever they may be travelling with (friends or family members), they have plenty of options to choose from so everyone can enjoy their getaway relaxing.
“Instead of assuming, I chose to approach her directly. I said, “I know you’ve had a full day yourself, and I don’t want to put you on the spot. If you’d like, we’d really appreciate it if you could watch him for an hour while we step out for a quick dinner. If not, no worries—we’ll make it work.” To my surprise, she agreed enthusiastically because we’d asked, not assumed. That experience taught me the value of open communication and respecting others’ autonomy,” he concluded.
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Readers sided with the child-free woman, asking why SIL had so many children in the first place
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