Pregnancy andmotherhoodare incredibly special times, and many new moms look forward to those early bonding moments with their babies.
That was exactly what this woman onRedditwas hoping for. She made it clear to her husband that she’d only have a child if she could stay home for the first year, and he agreed. But just weeks after she gave birth, he changed his mind and asked her to find a job, leaving her feeling heartbroken and betrayed. Read on for the full story.
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However, he went back on his word just weeks after she gave birth, shattering her trust
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Being a working mom is no easy task
Giving birthis an incredibly demanding experience, both physically and emotionally, and it’s common knowledge that moms need time to recover and bond with their newborns. Typically, ittakes around six weeksfor most postpartum symptoms to ease up. However,the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologistsrecommends ongoing care for up to 12 weeks, acknowledging that every woman’s recovery journey is different.
Jessica Rebeschini is part of that statistic. After giving birth to her son via C-section, she was back to working 45-hour weeks as a waitress, doing night shifts. “I would come home and the first thing I did was make sure that he was breathing…” sheshares. “When you’re not physically there, you just have to trust that he’s fine. You worry about the bond of being gone for so long… is he going to recognize you?”
Jessica didn’t tell her new employer how recently she had given birth, fearing she’d be seen as a liability. Though her manager supported her pumping breastmilk, there wasn’t a suitable place to do it. “So I had to take my breast pump into the bathroom and hope that no one came in and saw me pumping,” she reveals.
She also worries about the impact of her early absence on her child’s development. “[He] has disabilities, and we didn’t catch that until he was over a year old… I don’t know if we would have caught it sooner had I been home more,” she reflects.
Pressure and self-doubt are common struggles for many working moms. Astudypublished in the British Journal of Social Psychology found that mothers often feel more guilt than fathers when balancing work and family life. “No matter how much we achieve at work or how much love and care we pour into our families, there’s always that nagging voice in our head that tells us we’re not doing enough,”saysAshley Sharp, executive director at Dwell with Dignity. “It’s like we’re running a constant marathon, trying to catch up with the expectations of the world around us.”
Interestingly, research suggests that despite these challenges, working moms often report feeling happier than stay-at-home moms, with part-time work being the most satisfying option. Astudyin the APA’s Journal of Family Psychology analyzed data from the National Institute for Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development, tracking 1,364 mothers from their child’s birth for over a decade.
“In all cases with significant differences in maternal well-being, such as conflict betweenworkand family or parenting, the comparison favored part-time work over full-time or not working,” says lead author Cheryl Buehler, PhD, professor of human development and family studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. “However, in many cases, the well-being of moms working part-time was no different from moms working full-time.”
While these findings are insightful, what really matters is having policies that support women, whether they choose to be stay-at-home moms or continue their careers. Every mother deserves the chance to take care of her child without having to compromise her health or her family’s future.
Users blamed the man and questioned why he couldn’t do more to help his wife during such a vulnerable time
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