The thing about people is that it’s impossible to always please them. Imagine juggling a million and one things at the same time, and then someone comes along to point out the things you’re not doing well.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) was heavily pregnant and in the hospital, therefore leaving her partner to do everything: juggling a full-timejob, moving things to their new house, taking care of a kid, and making sure she had everything she needed in the hospital. Her mother, however, felt it was the right time to constantly criticize everything he did.
More info:Mumsnet
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Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how fast you move or how hard you try, there’s always another complaint popping up, and that was the case for this author’s partner
Image credits:cookie_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author is pregnant and has been admitted into the hospital, leaving her partner to juggle quite a number of things
Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her mother offered to help with packing since they had been in the process of moving to a new place; however, her mother did nothing but criticize them
Image credits:prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She had a go at the partner, reminding him that he wasn’t good enough for her daughter and kept making digs at him
After hearing what her mom said to her partner, the author confronted her mom, who owned up to the things she said without regret
When the OP’s mother offered to help move things into her new house, it seemed like a much-needed relief. But instead of lending a hand, she arrived withcriticism. She immediately had a lot to say and had a go at the OP’s partner. She called him unworthy and blamed him for the last-minute problem— completely ignoring the fact that unreliable contractors had caused the delays.
To make matters worse, she kept referring to the OP possessively and eventually told the partner that he wasn’t good enough for her. Already under immense pressure from moving and taking care of thekids, the partner was devastated. He called the OP, barely holding back tears, to recount the harsh words.
When the OP confronted her mom, her response carried the same sentiment as “I said what I said”. She even added that herpartnerwas controlling just because he said she didn’t have to return to work if she didn’t want to. The conversation ended with the OP’s mom dramatically cutting ties, stating she’d walk away and leave them to it.
Image credits:rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Sudha Fertility Centernotesthat the stress of pregnancy isn’t just limited to the mother because it can significantly affect the father as well; however, it is not talked about enough. They explain that While expectant mothers often face anxiety,studiesshow that 1 in 10 fathers experience depression during their partner’s pregnancy or shortly after childbirth.
In moments like that, backlash from parents or in-laws can be discouraging and dangerous.Choosing Therapyrefers to such parents as emotionally abusive. They highlight that the ways to identify them is that they often use insults, constant criticism, and yelling to demean and belittle their children or partners.
PsychCentraloffers key strategies for dealing with toxic parents or in-laws, emphasizing the importance of setting and enforcing boundaries. They advise against trying to please or change them and suggest being mindful of what you share with them. Recognizing their limitations and adjusting your expectations accordingly can help, but only if you choose to.
Netizens agreed that the OP’s mother’s behavior was toxic and unnecessary. Some suggested that the mother might be acting out of jealousy, especially since the OP’s partner seems like a good and supportive man.
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