When you get married to someone, you’re then expected to make an effort for them and theirfamily. Even a little bit of effort goes a long way and can show that you genuinely care about your partner and their loved ones.

More info:Mumsnet

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When family comes together, it can be a special experience, but sometimes folks prioritize other things over spending time with their loved ones

Family celebrating MIL’s birthday with cake in a cozy kitchen, smiling and enjoying the moment together.

Image credits:Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The woman explained that her husband got free tickets to a sporting event that he really wanted to go to and was willing to miss her mom’s birthday lunch to do so

Text discussion about missing a family event for sports, mentioning mum’s birthday lunch.

Text about husband offered sports tickets, wants to skip mother-in-law’s birthday event.

Pregnant wife struggles managing toddler alone; husband skips MIL’s birthday for sports, causing tension.

Text about transportation issues and discomfort with car seats.

Text about husband blaming wife for not driving, related to skipping MIL’s birthday for sports.

Text about a pregnant wife discussing concerns as her husband prioritizes sports over family events.

Text discussing a generally hands-on father in parenting, defending against criticism for skipping MIL’s birthday.

Fans watching a sports match in a stadium, highlighting guy skips MIL’s birthday for sports.

Image credits:Tembela Bohle / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Since the poster was pregnant and also had a 14-month-old to look after, she didn’t want to travel to her mom’s party alone as it would be tough to manage herself and the kid

Text about family gatherings and disappointment related to MIL’s birthday.

Text expressing frustration about mandatory family gatherings.

Text expressing frustration over being left to manage alone while partner skips event to watch sports.

Text expressing frustration about feeling upset over a husband skipping MIL’s birthday for sports.

Pregnant woman relaxing on a couch, wrapped in a blanket, looking thoughtful.

Image credits:cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Initially, the husband didn’t want to give up on attending his sporting event to help his wife travel, but he eventually decided not to go

Text update about a guy skipping MIL’s birthday due to train schedule, affecting plans with pregnant wife and toddler.

Text about a guy skipping his MIL’s birthday to watch sports, leaving his pregnant wife alone with their 14-month-old.

Text discussing financial dynamics and responsibilities in a relationship, mentioning maternity leave and career return.

Text on a white background discussing age gap and driving lessons shared between partners.

Text discussing MIL issues and overcompensation with children, mentioning “Disney dad” tendencies.

Image credits:Chunkychips23

The poster’s main issue with her husband’s plans was that he felt okay letting her travel while pregnant with a toddler in tow

The woman gave an important insight into her husband’srelationshipwith his in-laws. She mentioned that although she goes to all of his family gatherings, there weren’t that many events on her side to go to. Since her mom always helped them as much as she could, the poster felt bad that her partner was missing her birthday lunch.

Of course, it may not be feasible to attend every family function, butexpertssay that people must make an effort for their partner’s relatives to show that they care. Couples need to communicate with each other about which events are important to attend and why they are so meaningful. Knowing this will help set expectations and avoid misunderstandings in the future.

The poster’s husband also expected her to be able to manage hertravelwhile pregnant and looking after a 14-month-old. When she mentioned that her family might not be able to take care of her transport, he told her that it was her problem as she never learned how to drive.

According toresearch, pregnant women need to be careful while driving due to the possible bouts of fatigue and lightheadedness they may feel. It would be better for someone else to drive the vehicle so that they can flex their limbs, stretch, and move around a bit to avoid discomfort. So, it’s good the OP denied traveling alone as she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself along with a toddler.

Couple having a disagreement at home, reflecting tension over MIL’s birthday plans and sports conflict.

Image credits:SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One important thing that the poster mentioned was that her husband was a hands-on father. He never really skipped out on hisparenting dutiesand was generally present for family events. That’s why, this time, she felt annoyed at his sudden need to attend the sporting event while disregarding her concerns.

That’s why it’s important forpartners to communicatetheir feelings as often as possible. Even if there is a tiny bit of resentment, it’s important to get those concerns out in the open; otherwise, they can build up over time. Reiterating what events and situations are important to you is the best way to have your partner be on the same page and know what they need to show up for.

Apart from the worry of letting her mom down and the annoyance at having to manage traveling solo, the OP explained that her last pregnancy had been a high-risk one. It’s possible that she felt scared to be on her own without her husband’s support because of her pastpregnancyexperiences.

Regardless of the woman’s initial feelings of annoyance, she was glad that her husband eventually decided not to go to the sports event. Hopefully, he understood her feelings and they discussed the matter in detail. Either way, the guy’s mother-in-law is bound to have a wonderful birthday party with her family all being present.

How do you think couples should handle conflicts like this? Do share any advice that you think is relevant.

Comment on handling family obligations over sports events.

Comment discussing sports culture, user suggests attending alone might be difficult.

Text from user discussing sports and lack of family support for pregnant wife managing a 14-month-old.

Comment about a guy skipping MIL’s birthday for sports, impacting pregnant wife.

Text comment criticizing husband prioritizing sports over pregnant wife managing baby alone.

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