Money struggles can often bring out the worst in a person. When finances are tight, folks tend to startbudgetingaggressively and haggling over every penny. If they take things too far, money might even cause a wedge in their personal relationships.
This is what happened to a woman who suddenly sprung a $250 charge on her sibling after they stayed at herhomeover the weekend. The shocked family member reached out to Reddit for advice on this absurd situation.
More info:Reddit
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Sister with 6 kids invites sibling and their family over to her house for a weekend stay, then suddenly charges them $250 at the end of the visit
Image credits:Jonas Junk (not the actual photo)
The poster’s married sister invited them and their family for a weekend stay at her house, they agreed and drove 6 hours to visit her
Image credits:Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
During the get-together, the sister kept bringing up the topic of inflation and the cost of feeding a family
Image credits:u/Reasonable_Exam_4759
When the trip ended, the poster’s sister asked them to pitch in for the costs of the weekend and expected them to pay $250
The Original Poster (OP) shared that their sister had invited them and theirfamilyto stay at her house for the weekend. They had to travel 6 hours to reach her house. Before arriving, they did a grocery run to avoid finishing all of the sister’s food. The OP and their family were considerate enough also to buy the drinks, bread, and other things they ate together to avoid burdening the sister with too much.
All of this thoughtfulness was still not enough for the sister, who kept bringing upinflationand the cost of feeding a family. Things became clearer when the poster was ready to leave at the end of the weekend. That’s when the woman suddenly asked if they’d pitch in and pay a “fair” share of $250 to cover their costs.
Jodi is an etiquette consultant specializing in social and professional conduct. Working with individuals, corporations, and other organizations, Jodi educates in a way that is both instructional and entertaining, helping her clients increase their confidence levels and achieve success in today’s world. She said that “the most basic tenet of hosting is: The one who does the asking does the paying. This [goes] for dates as well as overnight guests. Since the hosting sister invited the visiting sister, it is presumed the visit (i.e. staying overnight) was free.”
Image credits:fauxels (not the actual photo)
Expertsstate that it’s okay for hosts to expect their guests to contribute to the cost of the event, but these expectations should be communicated beforehand. This will help the invited people make an informed decision about whether to attend or not. A random bill at the end of the gathering is definitely not the way to go.
Jodi RR Smith explained this further. She said: “When inviting others for an overnight visit, a preemptive conversation is required. If a host wants a monetary contribution from a guest, that is perfectly acceptable so long as it is discussed in detail (including specific amounts) in advance and when the payment is expected. What is not allowed is a bait and switch, where the guest thinks they have been invited for a stay but suddenly finds out they were a customer instead. If the sister wants money to cover the groceries, she should mention that in advance.”
Another way to handle the situation is totalk to the hostabout the situation and be honest about your feelings. It’s best not to harbor resentment because it can only cause a rift in the relationship over time. People also say that the guest can gently push back against a sudden financial obligation like this and calmly confront the demandinghost.
Jodi shared a useful tactic guests could use if they suddenly find themselves met with a big bill from their host. She said: “start with surprise and an apology. ‘Oh! I am so sorry; I clearly did not understand. I thought you had invited me for a visit. Can you help me understand what this $250 is for?’ Listen to their response, and ask for clarification ‘Did we talk about this before? Did I forget?’ Then, thank them for their answers and let them know you need to be able to process this turn of events. How you proceed will depend on your personal budget, your relationship with this individual, and what you anticipate your relationship to be with this individual in the future.”
It is definitely a tough situation to find yourself in. Nobody wants to show up for a fun family weekend only to be stuck with a surprisebillat the end of it. The OP handled this interaction in a way that worked for them, but posters said that they probably should have stood up to their sister. What would you have done if someone invited you to stay at their house and then unexpectedly charged you for it?
Image credits:Stas Tsibro (not the actual photo)
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