While it sounds like something out of a sitcom, there are people out there who, either for laughs or out of desperation, decided to create what is sometimes called a marriage pact. Simply put, the two parties agree that, if both are still single at 30, they might as well take a shot at marriage.
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With us it was “if we are still single at 65 let’s just move in together - at least we like each other.” We met first year at university and had been close friends ever since.She died of breast cancer at 63. Miss her every day.
She told me that 5 years ago. I said: why not just try dating now? We did. We’re married now :D Why wait?
I’m marrying him in November! Well, marrying him to another woman….I’m their officiant :D
I kissed her this morning when I was leaving for work, we get married in 3 days. No joke, made the pact, reconnected in person after a few years on my 31st birthday which is 3 days before her 30th, we went out for a date and we haven’t spent a night apart since. And in 3 days we say the ol I Do’s.
Not me, but I have a former coworker that made that pact with his senior high school prom date. Lost touch for 7 or so years. Reconnected at the 10 year high school reunion. Got married 2 years later. Now 2 kids with a third on the way and VERY happy. It was cool to watch the majority of that story go down
Many of the stories here actually have a happy ending, although there is no doubt some positive self-selection. People who are friends as young adults, but take time to mature and figure out what they want might actually be very compatible partners later in life. This isn’t to say that dating one’s friends is always a good choice, far from it, but it makes sense that it would have a success rate higher than just attempting to connect to random strangers.
He has like 5-6 kids. He actually hit me up when we were 30 (were 32 now) and asked about the deal. I was like “dude don’t you have like 5 kids???” I was not gonna take on that circus
She’s a single mom now so I’m getting ready to strap my step dad boots on here shortly.
He’s upstairs, I’m downstairs. We didn’t get married but we did buy a house together, platonic like.
With the advent of the internet and, to a lesser extent, smartphones, people can both connect with old marriage pacts and also set reminders years in advance. That, and the popularity of threads like this, has possibly made this concept explode in popularity. Which in turn leads to more people developing marriage pacts.
Turns out we’re both gay, so not happening
Met my wife in 9th grade Spanish class. Walked her to her locker every day. Father gets arrested, I move away. She somehow gets contact info for me from a mutual friend and we keep in touch over the years. Married at 20. 13 years in November. We have 4 kids and life is… pretty sweet. Settled down in the same school district that we met in. Someday our kids may he in that same classroom. She’s my best friend.
So well! I’m so proud of him. He’s smashing his career goals and really setting up a life he loves. He’s my best friend in this entire world. I don’t think we’ll get married ever-we’ve both grown into two very different people since we made that deal. But I just adore everything he’s grown into !
In fact, once one accepts and reveals that a person could be a potential partner without any pressure at the moment, this idea, like a seed, can take root and develop. So it’s easier to reconnect. Other, common relationship pitfalls are also more easy to avoid, as the marriage pact already sets a goal for the couple, while also taking away the pressure or “risk” that one party has when it comes to initiating a relationship.
we didn’t last long. got married at 25. Still going strong.Made the deal at 23. Married at 25. Going on 13 years together.
His wife has banned him from speaking to me
Of course, not all the stories are quite as happy. Life, among other things, happens to us all. Plus, some people might make a pact in desperation and simply do not move on with their lives. Instead of growing, they stagnate, relying on an oral agreement to attempt a relationship. Cases might differ, but most of us simply won’t find a person who is deeply stuck in the past attractive at all.
This actually did happen for a friend of mine and his wife.But it was more of a conversation along the lines of “hey remember that pact we made when we were 18 about getting married at 30 if we were both single? Well we are now 30 and single, did you want to give dating a shot”?5 years later and they are now happily married, I have no idea why they didnt give dating a shot years before, but thats none of my business.
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Over COVID I saw her profile pop up on my switch, so I reached out to her and started catching up for the first time since I moved away for college. One thing lead to another, I asked her if she’d like to move up the timeline on our promise, and we plan to get married next fall at the nice young age of 26.
Been married 16 years. Together for 20. Longest 4 days away from him after we made the pact to meet in Paris. Still haven’t been to Paris but I have the love of my life.
He’s driving. We are pulling our camper. Our 9 year old is in the backseat. We just finished a 4 night camping trip with his younger brother and his fiancé (also a “if we’re single…” couple). They have two girls, 2 and 4. We are all still excellent friends. My bil and his fiancé dated right after high school. My husband and i didn’t hook up until 2 days before we eloped. Married 11 years yesterday. Friends since ‘94
We’re dating and happy as could be. We’re almost 30 now though so we’re going to have to break up to honor our marriage pact
We made the pact the first time we hung out, started dating a few months later, and are now married. He’s my soulmate!
We made the pact at 15 as a joke. We finished high school, college and moved into early adulthood while he dated other people. I was single until 23 when I met my match who I’m still with to this day.This year he broke up with his girlfriend because he said he loved me and couldn’t be friends anymore because it was too hard for him.It sucks but I wish him the best.
He’s my soon to be ex husband… lol.
I do actually have a friend who did this. They reconnected after not seeing each other for a good while. They laughed and reminisced about their funny agreement to get married at 30 if they hadn’t met someone else. They did get married pretty quick and were happy…for about a year. Then they spend a couple more years miserable together. Things got very bad and he ended up divorcing her. He’s now happily married to someone who seems to be much better for him.
He’s unhappily married to someone else. Spends all his time gardening now.
She’s married to my good friend. But things are rocky. I just got divorced so maybe we’ll revisit this in our 40s? Just kidding.
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She married someone else.
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