They say you miss every shot you don’t take. But not all of the ones that you do end up on target, either. So in order to not get carried away and keep ourselves grounded, let’s take a look atthe subreddit’There Was An Attempt,' shall we?Its members collect amusing, awkward, and sometimes painfulfailsat being patriotic, interviewing for a job, and pretty much every other aspect of daily life. If their posts don’t reassure you that everyone makes mistakes, I don’t know what will!This post may includeaffiliate links.
They say you miss every shot you don’t take. But not all of the ones that you do end up on target, either. So in order to not get carried away and keep ourselves grounded, let’s take a look atthe subreddit’There Was An Attempt,' shall we?
Its members collect amusing, awkward, and sometimes painfulfailsat being patriotic, interviewing for a job, and pretty much every other aspect of daily life. If their posts don’t reassure you that everyone makes mistakes, I don’t know what will!
This post may includeaffiliate links.
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“The evolutionary function of shame is social control. Society needs social mechanisms to maintain order. As such, the fear of failure makes perfect sense, as a society we don’t want people to keep failing and doing things that are detrimental to themselves and society itself.”
In 2017, Dr. West launched an exhibit in Sweden showcasing flopped products and ideas, to celebrate failure’s essential role in innovation and progress. It quickly gained popularity and is now known as ‘The Museum of Failure,’ a traveling exhibition that has been making its way around the world.“There is good failure and there is bad failure,” he said. And that’s why it can be so tricky!“Bad failure is the kind that is preventable and predictable, it is always bad and should be avoided. Good failure is the type of failure that comes from experimentation and exploration when we try and test new things. Art, science, and tech innovation need the continual taking of risks (risk of failure!) for progress to happen. The same is true for us on a personal level. Without taking meaningful risks we stagnate.”
In 2017, Dr. West launched an exhibit in Sweden showcasing flopped products and ideas, to celebrate failure’s essential role in innovation and progress. It quickly gained popularity and is now known as ‘The Museum of Failure,’ a traveling exhibition that has been making its way around the world.
“There is good failure and there is bad failure,” he said. And that’s why it can be so tricky!
“Bad failure is the kind that is preventable and predictable, it is always bad and should be avoided. Good failure is the type of failure that comes from experimentation and exploration when we try and test new things. Art, science, and tech innovation need the continual taking of risks (risk of failure!) for progress to happen. The same is true for us on a personal level. Without taking meaningful risks we stagnate.”
Dr. Nick Morganagrees. The founder and CEO ofPublic Words, a consulting firm specializing in communication skills, describes himself as a recovering perfectionist and believes that the big question when it comes to failure is what can we do with it.
“What you need to do instead is to understand what went wrong, as dispassionately as possible, decide what to do differently the next time, and move on. If apologies are in order, make them heartfelt and timely.”
The key, according to Dr. Morgan, is the part about moving on. “If you don’t process the failures cleanly, you’ll find yourself like a ship with its hull covered in barnacles, moving slower and slower, unable to navigate gracefully through the waters ahead,” said the author ofCan You Hear Me?: How to Connect with People in a Virtual World.
The good thing is that “while the failure itself is a negative experience (it is embarrassing, expensive, painful, etc.) the results can and often are very positive,” Dr. Samuel West added.
In fact, he highlighted that recovering from our failures has been becoming an increasingly hot research topic.
“When you understand that failure is the empty spaces in-between success, that failure is just the other side of the coin of success, then recovering from failure is easier. I advise my clients that they should focus more on ‘failure recovery’ than on ‘failure avoidance.’ Once you train your ability to recover from small and larger failures you realize that there is not much to fear.”
Dr. Nick Morgan also mentioned astudyfrom 2011 that he recently ran across finds that acceptance and self-compassion, positive reframing, and humor are the three most effective ways to deal with failure.“These are techniques I can get behind, even though I’m not great at them,” he said.Acceptance and self-compassion are the basics of moving on from failure. According to Dr. Morgan, you will know best how to talk to yourself, but some form of acceptance and forgiveness of yourself as a unique, valuable, fabulous human being is vital. “There are many books, online courses, and psychologists out there ready to help. Do the work; it’s important. As the self-help cliché has it, the airplane safety talk is right: put on your own oxygen mask first,” he explained.
Dr. Nick Morgan also mentioned astudyfrom 2011 that he recently ran across finds that acceptance and self-compassion, positive reframing, and humor are the three most effective ways to deal with failure.
“These are techniques I can get behind, even though I’m not great at them,” he said.
Acceptance and self-compassion are the basics of moving on from failure. According to Dr. Morgan, you will know best how to talk to yourself, but some form of acceptance and forgiveness of yourself as a unique, valuable, fabulous human being is vital. “There are many books, online courses, and psychologists out there ready to help. Do the work; it’s important. As the self-help cliché has it, the airplane safety talk is right: put on your own oxygen mask first,” he explained.
Next,positive reframing can help make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. “The idea here is to find something, anything that did go well or can be spun into a positive,” he said. “Don’t fool yourself, but don’t overdo the doom and gloom in the first flush of failure, either. As a wise person … shared with me once, it’s the broken places where the light comes in.“And lastly, as these pictures illustrate,humor. “Laughing at yourself is a great gift; lightness allows you to rise above the slough of despond and sail on serenely,” Dr. Morgan said. Although, “laughing at others’ pratfalls is something I leave to your discretion.““The point is that once you can laugh at failure it is no longer terminal. You are ready to move on.”
Next,positive reframing can help make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. “The idea here is to find something, anything that did go well or can be spun into a positive,” he said. “Don’t fool yourself, but don’t overdo the doom and gloom in the first flush of failure, either. As a wise person … shared with me once, it’s the broken places where the light comes in.”
And lastly, as these pictures illustrate,humor. “Laughing at yourself is a great gift; lightness allows you to rise above the slough of despond and sail on serenely,” Dr. Morgan said. Although, “laughing at others’ pratfalls is something I leave to your discretion.”
“The point is that once you can laugh at failure it is no longer terminal. You are ready to move on.”
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