What a strange thing education is after all. We are all taught from our childhood that we should always tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but the older we get, the more we understand that these are nothing more than conventions, and that the truth can sometimes hurt. Hurt worse than some weapons.In fact, to be honest, the most truthful age in our lives is early childhood, when we have already learned to speak meaningfully, but have not yet learned to hide our thoughts behind a veil of hints and omissions. And inthis viral thread in the AskReddit community, adults are opening up about the most brutal yet honest (or honest yet brutal) things they’ve ever heard from their own or others' kids.More info:RedditThis post may includeaffiliate links.
What a strange thing education is after all. We are all taught from our childhood that we should always tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, but the older we get, the more we understand that these are nothing more than conventions, and that the truth can sometimes hurt. Hurt worse than some weapons.
In fact, to be honest, the most truthful age in our lives is early childhood, when we have already learned to speak meaningfully, but have not yet learned to hide our thoughts behind a veil of hints and omissions. And inthis viral thread in the AskReddit community, adults are opening up about the most brutal yet honest (or honest yet brutal) things they’ve ever heard from their own or others' kids.
More info:Reddit
This post may includeaffiliate links.
My father is a sober alcoholic. The binge drinker kind where he could go months sober and then drink his head off for weeks. He always was seeking to form “father/child” moments with me when drunk, often ending with me crying. During one of these times, when I was a teenager, I turned it around on him and held a long monologue, detailing very carefully how he was making me feel, how he was pushing me away. How I feared for my little brother if he were to see him do this. Asking him why he delighted so in hurting me. Ruthlessly, brutally in a calm tone of voice just detailing it all and ending it with “I’ve had enough. I will not say a single word to you if you even had just as little as a glas of beer.“He was silent for a long while, then stood up and left without a single word. And that is the last time he drank, he went to get help and have now been sober for almost 20 years. He says it is the most brutal, and most needed thing anyone has ever said to him.
Last Thursday, after I had a particularly stressful day at work, my 7-year-old said,“The only job that matters to me is being my dad and you’re awesome at it. And if mommy leaves you for another dad, I will always tell the new dad that my old dad was my favorite dad.““Thanks. I love you. Where’s your mom?”
Kid: Daddy why don’t you have boobs.Me: boys don’t have boobs.Kid: why does uncle John have boobs.
My 5 year-old-granddaughter knew the speed dial number on my daughter’s phone. Without my daughter’s knowledge, my granddaughter called me and left the following message. “Grandma, you are so very, very, very, very pretty, but you’re old and you might die. At the end of her message, I heard my daughter yell, “who are you talking to!?” Granddaughter quickly said, “I love you grandma. Bye.” Click. I was 50 at the time.
Not to me but to a friend who is a smoker. She was coughing alot due to a cold and being a smoker. Child was 3 at the time. He looks at her and says, " you are going to die.” We all looked shocked and i tell him thats not nice to say to people. My friend however replies, " well then am i going to heaven or hell? And he says, " just go to a doctor.”
Years ago, I brought my then-girlfriend to my parents vacation house for the first time & introduced her to my entire family.I was grabbing a beer out of our little fridge in the garage when out of nowhere my 8 year old nephew says “She is way too good for you, Uncle Flip”. I just stared at him & he just laughed.I married her, we are happy, but he still was not wrong.
So while my wife and I were living in her parents guest house, we’d see her niece and nephew visit a lot.One day, I got fired from my job. And for a while after, the kids would wonder why I was home during the day.My niece comes up to the guest house door.Niece: hey uncle? How come you’re not at work?Me: I already told you, I got fired. That means they let me go and don’t want me to come back to work.Niece: Oh…-nephew comes up-*Nephew: HEY UNCLE WHY ARE YOU HOME ALL THE TIME NOW?Niece: He did a bad job, so now they don’t want him to go to workNephew: Why? Is he stupid?*Me: …..-both kids wander off without letting me explain further-Th-thanks kids. My self esteem needed thatedit: so im getting questions on why I was fired.I was working as a stocker at a big-box store at the time. I was under a lot of stress at the time, from college and family and work and etc etc…Well. One day it all just kinda exploded. I had this super aggressive breakdown where I was throwing merchandise, breaking things. I took a tire iron (still i the package) and tried to smash a few boxes in the back room.It was bad. Im not proud of it. But sure enough, it got seen and I was let go pretty quick. And the thing is? It all got set off because I couldn’t find the right spot on the shelf for some item in the auto department.So when my nephew said, “is he stupid?" that actually hurt. Because I felt really goddamn stupid for losing my temper so hard.
Was having a father-daughter moment with my then 6 year old. She was worried about something but was struggling to open up to me. Eventually she did.Me: you can always talk to me about anything. I’ll always be there for you. Even when you’re all grown up.She: if you’re still alive.
“Fear of possible punishment, fear of doing something wrong, fear of upsetting parents, friends or acquaintances. Fear, desire to assert oneself, desire to be praised - and so we’re saying something that is not what it really is, not what we see - but what ‘needs to be said in this particular situation.’ On the one hand, this is socialization and adaptation to human society. On the other hand, who and when will tell us the undisguised truth, except our own yesterday’s toddlers?” Irina summarizes.
Four-year-old nephew, setting the table for dinner – looks at me and announces, “you get the big fork, because you’re the fattest!” And then proceeds to set my place with the BBQ fork. Lol.
“Your glasses are weird, what do you look like without them?” takes them off “Ew, put them back on”
A couple weeks ago my fiance and I got into an argument and my 9 year old step daughter told me “you aren’t the best boyfriend, but you are a really good dad.” Simultaneously made me really proud and feel really s****y.
So now please feel free to scroll and read this selection of stories to the very end, and probably add your own tale for us to enjoy. After all it was once said that ‘truth came out of the mouths of babes,’ and it’s one more absolute truth to be said…
“Daddy, why do you have so many wives?“My 3 year old, Disney princess movie obsessed, daughter said to me. I was a single, 20 y.o. dad with full custody, so naturally she saw me go through a few different girlfriends. That was the moment I decided things were gonna change.
At the aquarium “wow daddy, that fish is even uglier than you.”
My dad is a hardass lawyer that always thinks he’s right. One time we were gonna play tennis with a teacher and he couldn’t come and got mad when I said I didn’t want to go either then. I yelled at him that the only reason I play tennis is to play with him. He looked so shocked and never has pushed me to play tennis without him again. It’s the one thing I remember my dad truly taking to heart and realizing tennis for me isn’t really about the sport.Edit: my dad also dyed his hair for a long time and it always kind of looked purple in the sun. I told him a million times that it looked purple and he never believed me. One day at said tennis courts a little five year old walks up to him and asks “why is your hair purple?”. He dyed it a different color the next day. We still laugh about it.
“Your breath really stinks!“That was my daughter, and the last time I ever had a cigarette.
So this is actually something I said to my dad when I was the innocent age of four.Preface: my dad worked a lot, so I didn’t spend that much time with him. Also, he was kind of a d**k.Dad: “who’s your favorite daddy?“Me: “I like Heather’s daddy.“Dad: “But I’m your favorite, right?“Me: “No I like Heather’s daddy.““Heather’s daddy” is my uncle, and a great guy. Still makes me feel badly when I think about it. Adults can hurt your feelings, but kids can go straight for your soul.
Not me, but a female friend of mine.See, we were at a kindergarten helping out, and this kid comes up to her and the following hilarious conversation ensues:>Kid: “Are you a girl?">Friend: “Yeees…">Kid: “So, do you have boobs, too?">Friend: “Yes, I do.“The little boy examines her head to toe, and then after some thinking follows up with:>“And where?“We nearly died laughing, with my friend having a small existential crisis about how flat-chested she apparently was. Children are so brutally honest.
I’ve been a bit short tempered lately (stress from work, expenses etc), but I thought I was keeping it under control. Today, while they were goofing around, my wife asked our 3 yr old son ‘Is dada a cheeky monkey?’ He said ‘No, dada angry monkey.‘It’s been a few hours since this happened, but I’m still feeling a mix of surprised, ashamed and sad.Edit: Thanks for all the support and advice! I’m sorry I haven’t replied to every comment, but there are a lot of them :p I do appreciate every one, though!
I went to China to teach at an English summer camp. It was a month long experience, and during that time the children all got to pick American names. These ranged from Tommy to Robot.One day the kids thought it would be fun to give me a Chinese name. The host teacher mentioned that my real name is very close to the Chinese word for beautiful, so I should take that as my name.The kids all paused for a minute thinking about it, before one popped up and said, “Not so much beautiful, but still very nice.“Thanks kid.Edit: Bonus photo of our Halloween party.Edit 2: Yes, I’m the white person.Edit 3: Thanks for all the love and subsequent ginger hatred.
My 4yo said to my Portuguese wife who was pregnant at the time and hormones were all jacked up, “mommy why is your lip fuzzy.” I never saw her leave that quickly for the salon.She also said to me. “Daddy I like cuddling with you because you are soft and squishy like a bear.” To the gym I go!!
my daughter has just started talking, pointed at a hippo at the zoo and said ‘dada’ and then smiled at her dada
What’s that ugly thing on your shoulders? Wait, it’s just your head.I don’t care if youre 8, you’re not too young for a tombstone piledriver.
“My sister is just using you to make her ex boyfriend jealous.“Boy was that kid right too….
Brat to my then pregnant wife: “Are you fat?“Minimally-embarrassed parent: “Jordan, is that how we talk?“Brat: “Sorry… Are you shaped like a ball?“I’ll be paying for this later, kid. Thanks.
I delivered mail for a period of time in 80s. I was about to put mail in the box and could hear a kid behind the door say, “Hey mom, the mailman is here and he’s black!” I laughed.
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A kid in a Cambodian orphanage came up to me and said simply “big boobs.” I’m a man.
I was in my early thirties and my 12 year-old daughter made a comment about me being an old man. I said “Hey, you’re gonna be old someday too, you know,” and she smirked and said “Yeah, but not today.”
Me (while visiting my sister and niece, and easing my bulk off the floor): “Ooh, I’m getting old.“5 year old niece: “I can see that.“Ouch.
“Your head looks like a shape.“Cut me deep, Benjamin. You cut me deep.
you’re fat. I replied “Thanks. And you’re short.”
A dead serious 3 year old little kid who straight up asked me “Why are you ugly?” No ill intent behind it, wasn’t being mean. The little guy just wanted to know.
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Was waiting for my daughter to get her coat and boots on at daycare and another little girl walked up to me. She was probably about six. She told me her parents got a divorce so she was just like my daughter now. I nodded at her and then I got this gem.“I get to go one week with my mommy and one week with my daddy. Today I go with my daddy. He has a new girlfriend and shes WAY WAY WAY more pretty than my mom. I wish my mom was as pretty as my daddy’s girlfriend.“I just cringed.
When I was a kid the Spice Girls were huge and I was obsessed with them. Apparently on the radio they were talking about what an American Spice Girl would be called and came up with “Fat Ugly Spice” or something like that – I have no recollection of this but my mom tells me that I got so excited and started freaking out saying something along the lines of “Mom, oh my god, you could be a Spice Girl!” She called her sister and cried for hours after that one.EDIT: Sorry to be clear, it wasn’t The Spice Girls saying this, it was an American morning show joking around (can’t have my childhood heroes taking the heat!). Hoping my mom knew I was an idiot and didn’t mean it!
I was about 16. Young kid (maybe 6 or 7) in front of me in church turns around, stares for three seconds, states, “you got a lot of pimples.” Turns back around.He was not wrong.
My daddy’s hair is going away, too.[In my head] NOOOOOOO
“I am this way because of you, so you’re just going to have to deal with it"My teenage daughter. Like hell I will.
My nephew told me my breath smelled bad. I told him I was sure it did smell bad, since I hadn’t eaten all day, but that he should avoid saying mean things even if they were true.A different nephew once asked my cousin “Are you Jane? Or are you Anne?” She said “I’m Jane. Anne is my sister.” The nephew responds “Oh, right. I remember. Anne is the one who’s pretty.”
“Wanna play?““Sorry, I’m not feeling great today"“Ugh, you’re only sad because your girlfriend broke up with you!“Thanks kid, you really helped me figure that one out.
“Are you a kid or a grown up?“I’m almost 30.
While we were in a car, and I was enjoying music.“What’s your favorite band?“I tell her"Can we listen to the exact opposite of that? Because I HATE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!“ripped my f*****g soul in half.Was my ex gfs 10 year old daughter.
This wasn’t said to me but when we were in a waiting room, my brother who was approximately 6 at the time said to an elderly woman, “You’re gonna die sooner.”
I called up my daughter and the grandson came running to the phone, “Is that Am’ma?”.phone is handed over“Hey, Am’ma, can you come over to my house right now?““No, honey, I have class tonight, then work tomorrow."hears phone moving“Just hang up on her” as he hands the phone back to his mom.Edit: I am not Asian, Chinese, Hispanic, Filipino, Icelandic or Indian. Bible Belt American Grandma that is going to college, with a black mixed grandson that calls me Am’ma.
I bought my niece a set of Disney Princess barbies. The next year I game back home to visit and she was missing one.Me: “Where’s Ariel?“Her: “Oh. She had red hair.”
“You look like Jack Black in Goosebumps!” -My son’s friend who is no longer welcome in my house.
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