People Are Sharing Their Worst Decisions In Their Long Lives And Here Are 30 Of Them

Unfortunately, life isn’t like avideo game—you can’t reload an earlier save file whenever you make a big blunder. Whatever failures and successes you face, you have to learn to live with them and their consequences, no matter how awful or great. Some mistakes are easier to come to terms with. But others canhaunt youeven years or decades later.Today, we’re featuring someolderinternet users’ sincere and vulnerable thoughts about theirtop regretsfrom their youth, which they shared in an online thread. Scroll down to read about their experiences and warnings, some of which might be very relatable.Bored Pandareached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, for her thoughts on how we can all make better life decisions, plus how someone can feel less guilty about not having made the most of one’s youth. You’ll find the advice she shared with us below. Wellman is the founder ofFour Thousand Mondaysand the author ofYou Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.This post may includeaffiliate links.

Unfortunately, life isn’t like avideo game—you can’t reload an earlier save file whenever you make a big blunder. Whatever failures and successes you face, you have to learn to live with them and their consequences, no matter how awful or great. Some mistakes are easier to come to terms with. But others canhaunt youeven years or decades later.

Today, we’re featuring someolderinternet users’ sincere and vulnerable thoughts about theirtop regretsfrom their youth, which they shared in an online thread. Scroll down to read about their experiences and warnings, some of which might be very relatable.

Bored Pandareached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, for her thoughts on how we can all make better life decisions, plus how someone can feel less guilty about not having made the most of one’s youth. You’ll find the advice she shared with us below. Wellman is the founder ofFour Thousand Mondaysand the author ofYou Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.

This post may includeaffiliate links.

Not quitting alcohol is #1. I feel that if I could have quit drinking earlier in my life, there would have been no 2 or 3. To anyone who fights that beast. I wish you strength and love if you struggle.

“One of the best ways to feel confident about a decision is to get clear in advance about what we really want and need. Sometimes we get swept up in the excitement of an opportunity, or overwhelmed with an avalanche of info and data, and it’s easy to lose sight of our actual goals and vision,” Wellman, the founder ofFour Thousand Mondays, told Bored Panda via email.“Get anchored in what makes you happy. Sit down and write about what you’d like your next 5 years to look like.” She urged everyone to get in touch with their values, namely, the things that matter the most to you in life. These can be anything, from family and health to achievement, financial security, accuracy, creativity, and beyond.“It’s hard to make a bad decision if it aligns with our values, vision, and dreams,” Wellman said.

“One of the best ways to feel confident about a decision is to get clear in advance about what we really want and need. Sometimes we get swept up in the excitement of an opportunity, or overwhelmed with an avalanche of info and data, and it’s easy to lose sight of our actual goals and vision,” Wellman, the founder ofFour Thousand Mondays, told Bored Panda via email.

“Get anchored in what makes you happy. Sit down and write about what you’d like your next 5 years to look like.” She urged everyone to get in touch with their values, namely, the things that matter the most to you in life. These can be anything, from family and health to achievement, financial security, accuracy, creativity, and beyond.

“It’s hard to make a bad decision if it aligns with our values, vision, and dreams,” Wellman said.

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Dropping out of college because of my parents' marital problems.Putting loyalty to a boss above other career considerations.Not saving enough money.

I would say, marrying my first husband and marrying my second husband should be the top two, but if I hadn’t married them, I wouldn’t have ended up in CA where I met my now-husband. We’ve been happily married almost 40 years. The truth is that the bad choices often put us on a path that will lead to the best choices.

“Psychologist Barry Schwartz talks about the benefit of ‘satisficing’ when we make decisions—making a good decision with thought and care, but not necessarily after going through the most exhaustive research process. You might spend 15 hours researching the best hotel options for a trip (trying to ‘maximize’ your vacation), but you could have ‘satisficed’ after researching for an hour and then had just as great of a time on your holiday.“That being said, there are no such things as ‘great decision guarantees.’ “So it might be helpful to pre-acknowledge that you’re doing your best with the information you have available at the time, and not every decision will be a winner. We’re allowed a lot of gimmes in this life, thankfully.“Bored Panda also askedWellmanwhat advice she’d give an older person who might feel guilty about not having taken full advantage of their youth. “The most insightful research on regrets reveals that our ‘paths not taken’ can haunt us as we age—the regrets of omission, the ‘coulda shoulda wouldas.’ The regrets of commission—the things we did and wished we hadn’t—don’t tend to bother us as much,” she said.“A helpful exercise can be the deathbed regret visualization. If you were on death’s door, what ‘paths not taken’ would make you feel pangs of regret? I call those ‘pre-grets’ because they aren’t regrets yet… we can still course-correct them. It’s not too late to learn how to speak French… to go back to school… to become a painter… to travel to the Galapagos… the list goes on. Get in touch with regrets in the making and take one action to prevent it.“If you’re curious about how many more Monday mornings you have left, feel free to use thecalculatoron the Four Thousand Mondays website. It might give you the motivation you need to make the most of life.

“Psychologist Barry Schwartz talks about the benefit of ‘satisficing’ when we make decisions—making a good decision with thought and care, but not necessarily after going through the most exhaustive research process. You might spend 15 hours researching the best hotel options for a trip (trying to ‘maximize’ your vacation), but you could have ‘satisficed’ after researching for an hour and then had just as great of a time on your holiday.”

That being said, there are no such things as ‘great decision guarantees.’ “So it might be helpful to pre-acknowledge that you’re doing your best with the information you have available at the time, and not every decision will be a winner. We’re allowed a lot of gimmes in this life, thankfully.”

Bored Panda also askedWellmanwhat advice she’d give an older person who might feel guilty about not having taken full advantage of their youth. “The most insightful research on regrets reveals that our ‘paths not taken’ can haunt us as we age—the regrets of omission, the ‘coulda shoulda wouldas.’ The regrets of commission—the things we did and wished we hadn’t—don’t tend to bother us as much,” she said.

“A helpful exercise can be the deathbed regret visualization. If you were on death’s door, what ‘paths not taken’ would make you feel pangs of regret? I call those ‘pre-grets’ because they aren’t regrets yet… we can still course-correct them. It’s not too late to learn how to speak French… to go back to school… to become a painter… to travel to the Galapagos… the list goes on. Get in touch with regrets in the making and take one action to prevent it.”

If you’re curious about how many more Monday mornings you have left, feel free to use thecalculatoron the Four Thousand Mondays website. It might give you the motivation you need to make the most of life.

Looking back, some of the worst decisions I made were staying in toxic relationships for too long, ignoring my mental health until it became overwhelming, and not taking risks when I had the chance to pursue my passions. Each of those choices shifted my path in ways I regret, but they also taught me valuable lessons about self-respect and growth.

1. Not leaving an emotionally [controlling] partner before we had children.2. Not having at least one more child (I wanted 3-4, but only had two).3. Not recognizing how beautiful I was when I was young, but instead allowing my self-consciousness to intimidate me internally.

Not learning about managing money at an early ageNot getting a second opinion about medical diagnosesAssuming people have the best intentions and common sense.

Broadly speaking, there are a few things that are always a good idea to focus on no matter what age you are. They’re things that most of us wish we had given more attention to earlier, but like they say, though the best time to start was yesterday, the second best time is today. You will never regretprioritizingyour physical andmental health, as well as the meaningfulrelationshipswith your loved ones.

It’s also a good idea to think about your retirement as early as you can. A part of this means learning to balance your budget so you consistently earn more, spend less, save more, and have more freedom to invest your hard-earned cash. This doesn’t mean just cutting back on your expenses but also finding ways to earn more money without exhausting yourself or impacting your relationships. That might mean applying to better jobs or picking up a small side hustle.

1. Choosing the wrong university (should’ve gone to a state school)2. Not ‘reading the signs’ that my ex-fiance was cheating from day one3. Listening to the doctors who told me I couldn’t get my tubes tied at 20, because I’d ‘change my mind’ (I’d known since I was five that I never wanted kids).OhCheeseNFingRicereplied:“Number three pisses me off so much. I hate that even today, women so often aren’t allowed to advocate for themselves in opting for child-free lives. Of course, once a woman has a child, they’ll most often say, ‘I’m so glad my doctor didn’t let me choose that,’ because we’re not monsters and can fully love, adore, and raise children that we didn’t want in the first place. But that doesn’t mean that our lives would’ve been any less happy had we gotten what we asked for and didn’t have kids.”

Worst is when i couldn’t get my husband to go to the ER with covid. I asked and asked, but he said he would be fine. I should have just called an ambulance. He died early that next morning. I found him, and it broke my heart. Cried for 2 years.The best is not listening to my family tell me I shouldn’t marry someone much younger than I am. My grown kids are not happy. I sold my house and I’m ready to do something for myself. They will come around when they see how happy we are. The bonus for them is they won’t be responsible for me when I’m old.

1. Refusing to visit a dying friend in the hospital (because I was afraid I wouldn’t have anything to say or I would say the wrong thing).2. Moving to, and living in, Hawaii for 14 years.3. Relapsing after 44 years of sobriety (although I’m sober again).

No matter how smart, strategic, efficient, and careful you are, you will—inevitably!—make mistakes in life. There’s just no getting around this fact. How you react to failure, however, can tell everyone a lot about you, like your character, values, resilience, and general outlook on life.

It’s natural to be upset when something doesn’t work out the way you expected it would, but if you fall apart at the smallest inconveniences, you’ll have a hard time going through life. On the flip side, embracing unfavorable outcomes and circumstances can put you at an advantage. When you see failure as a learning opportunity and a way to prepare better for future challenges, you (potentially) end up stronger in the end.

1. Trying to win my father’s approval2. Breaking Beth McConnell’s heart at summer camp3. That first line of crystal m**h.PeterandKelseyreplied:“Can we find Beth McConnell somewhere? Let’s have a reconciliation!“Interesting_Air_1844replied:“There’s nothing I’d like more than to apologize to her for being so cruel. I was just a kid, though (this was around 1977 or 1978), and the thing that’s incredibly stupid is that I really liked her. I found some old letters from my fellow campers, in which scolded me for ruining the poor girl’s entire summer. All these years later, I still can’t forgive myself. I’ve Googled her name a few times over the years, but never found her…”

Taking loans out of my 401k #1Having kids before being financially stable #2Believing what others said I was incapable of #3#3 hurts the most the others I was able to overcome or live with.I wanted to be a Lawyer. I was one of the kids in my school that was filmed smoking pot on the side of a school we were all forced to counseling.When I told my Guidance Counselor I wanted to be a Lawyer when it was time to sign up for college She told me I wasn’t smart enough. I left defeated. Didn’t have parents to talk to so I believed her.In years since I have won law cases for myself and my sister and one friend…with zero training.Always believe in YOU and go for what you want in life no MATTER what!

However, some experiences are going to be devastating no matter how resilient you think you are. In those cases, you should try to rely on your social support network more and seek amental healthexpert’s help to understand what happened and, hopefully, reframe it in a way that empowers you. It’s never a sign of weakness to ask for help, but nobody’s a mind-reader, so you really do need to speak up when you need a hand.

1. marrying my first husband2. prioritizing work over more important things3. allowing toxic people to stay in my life far too long.

Nothing really ended up for the worse but the worst decisions I’ve made:1. Stopped caring about school in high school. I was on the Stanford/MIT track. Ended up with a great career anyway but I was just planning for more, that’s all. Due to circumstances I ended up putting myself through community college while working full time and then finishing out at a great state school after I already had what is still my career decades later.2. Giving up a dream job in a dream city because I’d have to live an hour away from my boyfriend and I knew that would end the relationship. In retrospect, if an hour commute was a dealbreaker the relationship sucked.3. Rob, and everything about him.

Just one for me…. waiting years and years to get treatment for depression.I feel so much better now. I’m lucky to have survived.

1. Quit a community college job to raise my first child. Wish I would have continued and took advantage of tuition discount to get a medical degree.2) Believing I was fat and ugly at 18. I was size 8, went to the gym regularly and had a head of beautiful, long curls-but I wasn’t the skinny “blond next door” model.3) Allowed family to “borrow” funds that were not returned. I should have at least invested it in bank CD’s.

My first and only marriage at 18Staying married for 25 yearsWorking full-time to put husband thru law school - moving many times for this and changing jobs.

My only real regret is not doing whatever was necessary to keep my college sweetheart.I still miss her… 20+ years later.

Encouraging my husband to have the surgery that killed him.Various stupid financial decisions when we were young that left me broke with small kids when I needed financial security including not having enough life insurance.Waiting until my weight dropped to 90 lbs before getting a feeding tube during cancer treatment. Malnutrition made my recovery much worse.

Listening to Dentists who wanted to “save the tooth.” Spent far too much money and wrecked my health with cracked infected teeth that just ended up being pulled regardless of what measures they tried.Needed to put my children’s well being above being a dutiful daughter. My narcissistic parents weren’t any better at being responsible grandparents.Letting anxiety take over, needed to just chill out and not make an already difficult situation worse.

1. staying as a bedside nurse for 19 years and not leaving for the pharma industry sooner2) pulling up a patient and herniating a disc in my back3) not living with the confidence of a 50 yr old ( why so timid when I was younger ).

Moving to Wisconsin. I hate Wisconsin! I moved here when I married my husband as my husband lived there. Now I am disabled and stuck here.

1. Being more concerned with what other people thought than what I wanted.2. Not questioning being diagnosed with anxiety and heavily medicated for years. I didn’t get my actual diagnosis until my 50s.3. My first marriage. At least I ended it quickly.

1. Smoking. Resulted in cancer (I’m better now).2. Spending of frivolous things when I should have been saving.3. Marrying my ex-wife. There were plenty of red flags I ignored.

1. Staying at the same job for too long.2. Accepting family members behavior and overlooking it because they are family.3. Rushing through things and events that I thought would always be there.

Allowing my parents so much space / interference in my life under the guise of love.Not maintaining a healthy weight.Not allowing myself to do me, but trying to adjust my personality to everyone else so they would all “love” me.

1. My first marriage.2. Trusting my business partner.3. Not learning more family history from my parents.

1. Not getting grief counseling in the 80s when I lost my parents.2. Doing too many ds in the late 70s and early 80s and not focusing on my schooling.3. Letting myself become a controlling a**e when I became the boss.

1-Developing a drinking habit at 15yo to deal with sleep issues2- switching to benzodiazipines to deal with sleep issues that got very severe and then becoming addicted to them and they shut down my nervous system causing me to become disabled for 8 years.3- cant post 3.

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Not an old person, borderline Gen X, but:1. Putting off grad school for a relationship2. Staying with an [violent] partner because they lost a loved one more than once3. Not making the most of the mid 20s of my life.

Not getting therapy to deal with my issues around self-esteem etc.Not being able to let go of people (or things)Investing in a solar panel company that scammed me out of a considerable amount of money and then went bust.

1. Trusting the ‘free trial’ would cancel itself. 2. Cutting my own bangs. 3. Saying ‘I’ll just have one drink.’.

Didn’t look both ways crossing the streetFried bacon without a shirtIt was a tumour.

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1. In 2006, when I found out my mother left my father and took all the money they had. My parents hadn’t spoken to me for three years prior to that. When my father’s neighbor and landlord asked me to help him, because he was in a bad way (financially) and couldn’t manage on his own – I should have told all of them to f**k all the way off. I didn’t. I had to be the bigger person. In the long run, I paid for that decision. Unfortunately my family paid for it, as well.2. 2015 – moving my father into my house. Everything was fine and good for the first couple of years. When it went south, it went in a hurry. He made my life and my family’s lives a living hell for almost three years. That’s how long it took for me to get him out of my house. He had me so stressed out that my hair was falling out, I was physically ill, I was crying myself to sleep every single night. I lost so much weight from being stressed out that one of my co-workers pulled me aside one day and asked me if I had cancer or something.3. In hindsight, I should have told my entire family to forget my name and whereabouts when I moved out of my parents house in 1997. Even back then, always trying to be the bigger person. Always trying to give people 2nd/3rd/4th chances that they didn’t deserve.I learned a valuable lesson after the hell my father put my family through. It was a hard lesson, learned a little too late. But, due to that, I’ll never inconvenience myself for anyone else ever again. I don’t care what anyone thinks they need from me, they’re going to be SOL, because no one is getting anything from me. I had to work and sacrifice and fight for everything I have. Why should I just give away my time, my money, my property? If people don’t want to associate with me or speak to me because I’m not handing out money and not running a homeless shelter, that’s their problem, not mine.

Joining Amway in the 90s.Buying my best friend’s AMC Gremlin in 1978.Creating a Reddit account.

1. Quitting my band2. Spending money willy nilly3. Starting a business with a crooked person.

2. My first marriage to an alcoholic.2. Investing3. Not traveling to Europe to become an English tutor for a wealthy family because I was dating a girl.

Selling houses that I should have kept. I felt I’d always be young enough to buy there again - I was wrong. During many moves in life, I always preferred a fresh start and sold up. Now I can never again afford to buy the places I owned in the 1980s, 1990s, or even 2000s. Priced out, ending up renting in retirement - not ideal.

SmokingPunching my boss (bad decision, but still one of the best feelings ever)Allowing an ex to weasel her way back into my life for just long enough mess with some potentially positive plans (I’ll never know).

1. Not getting mental health support while in graduate school. I went into to my program (second best in the world) thinking I could control my worst traits but instead had a breakdown which curtailed my academic career. Also led to more problems throughout my adult life.2. Not getting help on running my finances. For most of my life I never saved money thinking that I would start “someday” when I made more. Even worse is that while I am highly intelligent in other areas of life I am horrible when it comes to financial planning and managing spending. This has led in my life to high debt, one personal bankruptcy 20 years ago and living paycheck to paycheck even when my salary put me in the percent.3. Not being honest with those who I cared about and who cared about me. Led to many burned bridges that can never be rebuilt.

I studied stuff to pass and not learn. That’s the biggest one. Other ones are not following up on my interests and procrastinating.

1. Like most others I stayed in a bad marriage too long. For me it was because of the kids. (Don’t regret the marriage decision because of the kids and it is why I am where I am today)2. Not having at least one more child with my 2nd and final wife. We just ran out of time. Should have adopted3. Making a real estate investment decision too fast. 2008 happened 18 months after and lost it all. Would be in very good financial shape if we’d just kept the cash.

1. Marrying a drinker2. Not training as an engineer3. Having kids.

Getting married at 18 and trying to make it work for 47 yearsLeaving the union and transferring to a staff job with no unionNot being more aware of my financial situation.

1. First Marriage2. Some of my past friends3. Staying in bad jobs for too long for the money / experience.

Smoking.Overdrinking.Not investing in Quantum Link. Later became AOL.

1. Moving away from family and friends (my support system.)2. Not ending toxic relationships sooner.3. In my youth, throwing money away on alcohol instead of saving it.

2. Picking English Lit as my major.2. Probably my first two marriages but I’ll keep the kids.3. Not keeping my house in my second marriage.

Not taking a permanent teaching job at a school I loved. Not sticking with my Technical Publishing job, even though I worked with men who didn’t think women should work. And I suppose marrying my first husband, but without that marriage, I wouldn’t have children or grandchildren. Bad decisions can lead to better things.

Only one-becoming a teacher.

The only thing I can think of is spending too much money when I was younger. But that is just life experience, I guess.I could have gone without those few years of drinking way too much and smoking. But that was stopped relatively easily (except perhaps the smoking…whew that was rough).I guess all those horrible decisions made me the person I am today :).

1. Broke up with the love of my life to pursue a career, she inhabits my dreams to this day.2. Married a woman because I thought I should be married, divorced soon after, lost my shirt.3. Ignored my gut and didn’t buy Apple stock in the eighties.

Not standing up to my mother before she died. Majoring in flute in college, not once but twice! Making friends and staying friends with a competitive narcissist when even my children knew she was bad for me.

Choosing the wrong partner and staying to long. Not switching majors and finishing school and wasting valuable time with s****y people and not buying real estate sooner.

1. Leaving a well paying job because of a toxic manager.2. Not leaving a c**p job as soon as I realised what it was. Stayed for 13 regrettable months.3. Not listening to my parents when I was young.

2. Letting my father talk me into buying that house.2. Staying married. Should have divorced him.3. Getting married to him. Love doesn’t pay the bills.

Marrying a bum, having kids with a bum, watching adult children be bums.Best decisions: leaving bum, disowning bum jr., and only paying my own bills.It’s never too late and time is our most precious commodity. Oh sweet freedom from bums is worth living.

I’m going to go against the grain and say my biggest regret is divorcing my husband. #2 staying in a relationship for 20 years to a man I did not love.

1. Letting my first relationship get as far as marriage (despite knowing I’m gay)2. Kevin3. Richard.

Not dating with clear intentions, not finishing school, not taking accutane.

Never served in the militaryWasted way too much money.

Ignoring Bitcoin back in 2010Haha that is all.

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