Giving birth can be a very stressful experience for a birthing person. The body goes through so much to birth a new life into our world. What doesn’t help the difficulty of the situation is when other people around, for example, in the delivery room, don’t appreciate the magnitude of the situation and that the most important person at that time is the one giving birth.
Apparently, there are quite a lot of examples of people, especially men, being extremely inconsiderate of a person in labor. This nurse gathered some examples of that and acted them out in a TikTok video, which soon went viral.
More info:TikTok
This nurse posted a video sharing disturbing things she has heard men say in the delivery room and they range from simply annoying to absolutely intolerable
Image credits:anna.the.nurse
Image credits:Jimmy Conover (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Watch the video here
To get extra insight about support people and their consideration or lack thereof in delivery rooms,Bored Pandareached out to labor and delivery nurseJen Hamilton.
Jen admitted that during her career, she has heard some disgusting things said in the delivery room. Interestingly, she noticed that even though partners of a birthing person come in various genders, she hasn’t seen a woman being inconsiderate to her birthing partner.
Funnily enough, she dubbed these inconsiderate men “turds.” And she has distinguished several types of them. The most common one is a “couch turd”, which is similar to a couch potato, as he prioritizes his own comfort. “He sometimes brings an entire gaming system, so that he can be entertained. Others bring eye masks and noise-canceling headphones to drown out the sounds of discomfort from their partner.”
Then comes an annoyed man, who constantly has to let it be known that he’s not comfy: “He leaves the room often during times that his partner needs him the most, usually exhaling loudly as if he has been inconvenienced in a large way.”
A step up from the latter is the opinionated man, “who has done approximately 27 seconds of googling and now has a lot to say. He often loudly expresses his opinion on what he thinks his partner should or should not be doing which is often in direct contradiction with what the laboring person has expressed that they want.”
Jen also didn’t shy away from advising on how a positive support system can be ensured in the delivery room. “My biggest advice to people is to choose your support system wisely.”
She says if a person consistently has been inconsiderate towards you, they’re likely going to be the same in the delivery room. “Choosing the wrong person for your support can make or break your birthing experience. The test for who you want in the delivery room is to think about how that person treats you when you are sick. Would they get up at 3 am for you to go get your medicine without complaint? Would they hold your hair as you vomit? Or would they ignore you or ask you why dinner isn’t ready yet? I want to empower people to choose the people who will actually be there for them. Not just the person everyone else thinks should be there.”
Jen also noted the nurses’ importance in finding a proper support person: “Nurses should always find a time that they can get the patient alone in order to suss out the vibes of the relationships, making sure that not only is the birthing person safe but also that they can count on the person that they have brought with them to offer them support and comfort.”
Relationships
