When there’s a bigger age gap betweensiblings, parents might feel tempted to transfer some of their duties to the older children. While this can teach them responsibility and the importance of helping out in afamily, not all people think it’s fair to give kids adult obligations at a young age.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with licensed therapist Kelly McCullough, LCSW, fromLa Jolla Therapy Center, who kindly agreed to chat with us about giving responsibilities to older siblings.
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When parents feel tired or overwhelmed, they might feel tempted to ask for help from their older children
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However, this can also come with quite a few risks. “Some risks may be incurred if the younger sibling’s developmental needs outweigh the older sibling’s capacity for caregiving; for example, if a younger sibling has difficult behaviors to manage (like aggression, throwing, or biting), it may put an unfair burden on the older child to manage these independently without adult support,” McCullough noted.
That’s why it’s important to make sure that sibling is ready and old enough to take care of younger children. It might not be about a specific age, but more about the maturity level of the sibling—parents should be able to evaluate that without much trouble. If a child shows patience and enthusiasm to help out with siblings, that’s a good sign they’re ready to take on the responsibility. In case they are disinterested and easily become irritated or frustrated with a younger sibling’s behavior, they might not be mature enough for the task.
But parents also shouldn’t forget that free time is important for young people
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Another important thing for parents to remember is not to overwhelm the older child with childcare responsibilities since they probably have a lot on their plate already, like school, homework, extracurricular activities, and perhaps even a part-time job. It’s crucial that they have some free time for themselves as well.
Parents shouldn’t forget that free time is important for young people. According to research, not having enough leisure time can halt children from reaching their optimal mental health. In general, parents should keep a balance of trying to instill a sense of discipline and responsibility and also allowing for some free time.
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