It’s one thing to need some help while friends andfamilyare genuinely unable to do anything. However, it’s another thing entirely when you need the help of your family, and despite having the means to help, they just don’t.
More info:Reddit
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Image credits:rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He and his wife kept the fund in the hopes that their kids would go to grad school; but neither of them wanted to
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Image credits:garetsvisual / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He and his wife then ended up using the son’s fund for his college tuition and living, while they kept their daughter’s fund
Image credits:yakobchuk / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His daughter found out after noticing her brother was living very comfortably and was hurt to find out she had a fund all along
Now the father is asking netizens whether he was wrong for holding it back, especially since she can’t access the money anymore
Through everything, the OP and his wife didn’t tell her about thefund. Instead, she lived in a cramped apartment and learned how to budget until she finished studying. After graduation, she found a job she loved but decided against further education. Their son, on the other hand, pursued engineering but had no interest in grad school, either.
However, since he lacked scholarships, the OP and his wife used his education fund to fully cover his tuition and living expenses. This allowed him to live comfortably in a largeapartmentclose to his school—something his sister never had. When the OP’s daughter asked how her brother was able to afford everything while she struggled, she learned about the fund and was shocked.
His daughter then asked if she could access hermoney, only to be told there would be penalties for withdrawal. If taken out, the funds would legally return to her grandparents. Feeling betrayed, she grew distant and stopped responding to her parents’ calls. The OP insists it isn’t really her money, as it was meant for education. However, his daughter is extremely upset as her brother got full access while she struggled.
Image credits:Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Accordingtothe Counseling and Wellness Center, favoritism inparentingcan have lasting effects on both the favored and unfavored child.
Furthermore, it can stem from gender, birth order, or career choices. While the unfavored child may feel resentment, the favored one can struggle with dependency and always seeking approval from people.
Regarding career choices,Valor Dictusacknowledges that people often view liberal arts education as unnecessary due to more limited jobs as opposed to STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) jobs with high salaries. However, they maintain that the arts and humanities should never be undervalued or seen as disruptive.
Since the OP and his wife had decided not to use their daughter’s fund despite her needing it, Therapy Group of NYCaffirmsthat not helping a person when they are aware you can help often discourages them from asking for help or support. They further explained that it also leads to feelings of betrayal.
Others suggested that OP and his wife compensate their daughter for the hardship she had to endure on her own while her brother had full support. What do you think about this? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens blatantly told the father he was very unfair for doing that to his daughter and insisted that he should compensate her
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