God, Mom! You’re ruining my life! You’ll never understand me!Slams bedroom door.
It’s easy for the smallest things to feel like the end of the world when you’re a child
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So after this parent was told that they’re ruining their daughter’s life, they reached out to the internet for a second opinion
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“While it might feel like an easy fix to just give her what she wants, it won’t help her gain the skills she needs as an adult, like problem solving, dealing with disappointment, and resilience”
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to parenting expert and Founder ofPregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison. According to Amy, it’s absolutely normal for kids to make bold claims like this to their parents. “It’s hard being a teen,” she toldBored Panda. “You are navigating the transition from childhood to adulthood with the pressures of school, body changes, and a need for independence all while trying to fit in with your peers navigating the same choppy waters. Life unsurprisingly feels pretty catastrophic many days.”
Amy also provided some suggestions for how parents can respond when their children feel like their lives have been ruined. “Empathy goes a long way in situations like this. Recognizing their feelings while still sticking to boundaries is not mutually exclusive,” she explained. “If you have budgeted $600 for her phone, then that’s what she’s working with. While it might feel like an easy fix to just give her what she wants – few parents want to see their kids hurt or embarrassed – it won’t help her gain the skills she needs as an adult, like problem solving, dealing with disappointment, and resilience.”
And while Amy understands that it’s easy for parents to take these inevitable situations personally, she wants moms and dads to know that “your child wanting to fit in with their peers is not a reflection on how much you have or haven’t given them in the past as much as they are trying to create an environment with as little friction as possible.”
“It’s less about deciding whether what your child wants is reasonable and more about sticking to your set parameters,” the expert says. She suggests the parents tell their daughter something along these lines: “The iPhone 15 Pro Max sounds great, and I can see why you’d want it. We’ve set aside $600 for your phone, so if you want to save up your birthday money or figure out a way to make up the difference we’re happy to add that to your savings.”
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Most children today receive their first phone between the ages of 10-14
Wait Until 8th reports that kids spend between 3-7 hours in front of screens each day, andresearchhas shown that smartphones are addictive in the same way slot machines are. Smartphones can be a huge distraction from academics, and excessive smartphone use has actually been found toalter children’s brains.
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But some experts recommend that parents hold off as long as possible before getting their kids a smartphone
Spending too much time on their phones can interfere with children’s relationships,increase their riskfor anxiety and depression, put kids at risk forcyber bullying, and even expose kids to inappropriate content.
But as a parent, saying no to your children is much easier said than done. Despite the fact that aniPhone 15 Pro Maxcosts upwards of $1,199, the pressure that kids feel to keep up with what others have can be incredibly powerful. Middle school is already an incredibly vulnerable time, and when classmates come in flaunting their brand new shoes, fancy jewelry or expensive iPhone, it’s natural for their peers to become jealous.
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Some readers assured the parent that they were right to not give their daughter the newest phone
Meanwhile, others judged the parent for giving their young daughter a smartphone in the first place
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