Many coupled-up people would likely be able to pinpoint the moment they realized that things with their partner were getting serious; or that at least, they were very much into the person they weredatingor spending time with.Such moments don’t necessarily have to be grandiose—sometimes, something seemingly insignificant can make one weak at the knees more than a grand gesture would. Something like uttering words of affirmation that make a person feel loved and safe, or bringing them soup when they’re sick, just to give a coupleexamples.All sorts of cute situations like that were recently discussed on an ‘Ask Reddit’ thread, after one userasked the womenin the community about something a guy has done—intentionally or not—that made them think, “Wow, he’s different” (in a good way). Quite a few women shared their stories, so if you’re curious to read them or if you’re in need of a boost of wholesome, scroll down to find them on the list below and get ready to have your heart completely melted. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterviews with two dating coaches,Blaine AndersonandAmie Leadingham, who were kind enough to share their thoughts on the role small loving gestures play in a romantic relationship.This post may includeaffiliate links.
Many coupled-up people would likely be able to pinpoint the moment they realized that things with their partner were getting serious; or that at least, they were very much into the person they weredatingor spending time with.
Such moments don’t necessarily have to be grandiose—sometimes, something seemingly insignificant can make one weak at the knees more than a grand gesture would. Something like uttering words of affirmation that make a person feel loved and safe, or bringing them soup when they’re sick, just to give a coupleexamples.
All sorts of cute situations like that were recently discussed on an ‘Ask Reddit’ thread, after one userasked the womenin the community about something a guy has done—intentionally or not—that made them think, “Wow, he’s different” (in a good way). Quite a few women shared their stories, so if you’re curious to read them or if you’re in need of a boost of wholesome, scroll down to find them on the list below and get ready to have your heart completely melted. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Below you will also findBored Panda’sinterviews with two dating coaches,Blaine AndersonandAmie Leadingham, who were kind enough to share their thoughts on the role small loving gestures play in a romantic relationship.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
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In a recent interview withBored Panda, dating coachBlaine Andersonnoted that day-to-day life can become so consuming that it’s easy for people to forget to make any ongoing romantic efforts with a long-term partner. But even small gestures that don’t require that much effort can be a powerful way to keep romance alive in a relationship.“I remember talking with an 80-year-old woman who’d been married for 50 years who told me she and her husband would still write cute little notes for each other, and leave them around the house for them to discover. Leaving short but thoughtful hand-written notes for your partner around the house like this is the perfect small, kind gesture to remind your partner you love them.”
In a recent interview withBored Panda, dating coachBlaine Andersonnoted that day-to-day life can become so consuming that it’s easy for people to forget to make any ongoing romantic efforts with a long-term partner. But even small gestures that don’t require that much effort can be a powerful way to keep romance alive in a relationship.
“I remember talking with an 80-year-old woman who’d been married for 50 years who told me she and her husband would still write cute little notes for each other, and leave them around the house for them to discover. Leaving short but thoughtful hand-written notes for your partner around the house like this is the perfect small, kind gesture to remind your partner you love them.”
Anything that shows lack of ego, or being very comfortable in his masculinity. When my husband and I first met, he wore women’s sunglasses, cause the frame was a shape and fun color that he liked. He used to do cheerleading in middle school – was called gay a bunch for it, but he knew it wasn’t a bad thing to be gay and brushed it off. He just liked doing flips and feeling strong– he also became a black belt in karate for the same reasons. All of those were massive green flags to me.One of his teachers apparently told him that, while girls that age didn’t realize what a catch he was and didn’t give him a lot of attention, he was gonna make some woman very happy one day for the exact reasons the girls ignored him in school. And she was so right.Now, he’ll take a yoga class with me. He also makes his own instruments, puts himself between me and danger, and would do anything to make me happy and keep our little family safe. He pays the mortgage, works hard every day, and has strong close relationships with men AND women. I trust him with my life, and I know I will always be his priority. He is a very masculine man, and therefore feels absolutely no need to assert his masculinity or shy away from femininity. Everybody feels safe around him. Except the rapist he punched in the face in college, after he found out about what the guy did.
“I think people remember these little moments, gestures, or things both because they’re unexpected, and altruistic,” Anderson said, discussing why some seemingly minor gestures are something people hold on to for years. “Sometimes bigger acts of love are actually acts of apology, or acts of guilt. ‘Insignificant’ gestures, like leaving a note for a loved one, can stand out because they’re pure and delightful.”
When my husband was my boyfriend, I noticed that he always acknowledged everyone in the room. For instance, whenever we were in a room with my entire family, he would approach absolutely everyone, my dad, mom, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, friends, and be able to establish a conversation, and a relationship with them eventually. Even my relatives’ dog knew him to be the only one, that could set aside some time just to pet him.At first, I thought that my boyfriend is just a social being, which I was appreciative of seeing as how I personally have been always a socially inept, awkward individual, but eventually this gift of his reaped dividends too, as when a close cousin of mine, let’s say, fell in with the bad sort of crowd and was in desperate need of help and support, the only person she felt comfortable reaching out to, was my boyfriend, who was then able to pass word to the rest of the family, and also rescue her.
I’m a type 1 diabetic and I wear a pump which is basically a machine that helps track my blood sugar and give me insulin accordingly. When my blood sugar gets too low or too high the pump makes noises (a low tone for low bs and a high tone for high bs) my SO figured those tones out.One night I was sitting on the couch scrolling and my pump signaled I had low blood sugar. He was in the kitchen and without a word being said went to the fridge and brought me a juice box. I didn’t know he knew and it felt really good to feel understood and that someone was actually taking the time to know me and my disability. We had only been dating for 2-3 months at this point.
I was FaceTiming a guy I was dating. My son, who was probably about 3-4 wakes up upset. I go to comfort him and take my phone with me.Instead of wanting to hang up, he grabbed his guitar and played and sang for us.We didn’t make it for unrelated reasons. No animosity or anything. But it’s one of those memories that sets the bar in the future.
In high school, one of my guy friends who liked me baked me a big plate of chocolate chip cookies and randomly gave it to me one day. I finished the whole plate during one class, and he was impressed and also a bit horrified. I thought it was super cute and unusual for a dude to bake someone cookies.He and I have been together going on 16 years, married for almost 7. How he baked me cookies is one thing I’ll never forget.
On our first date he showed me around the downtown area of the city he was currently living in at the time. He proceeded to show me his favorite dessert spot and bought me 2 cupcakes. He said, “This one is for your grandma” since I had told him earlier that I was living with her.
In Leadingham’s opinion, small, kind gestures are relationship gold. “When your partner brings you coffee and knows exactly how you like it or sends a random sweet text saying ‘I miss you,’ it shows they’re thinking about you even during their busy day. These small acts of thoughtfulness add up, making you see them as someone who truly cares about your happiness and lets you know,” she noted.
I was snipping the plastic ring thingy, you know, that a six-pack of drinks comes in. I know it’s probably a fruitless gesture but….. turtles! I just do it on autopilot at this point. He asked me what I was doing, he’d never heard this before, so I explained.A couple weeks later, I walked into the kitchen unexpectedly, and totally startled him… while he was snipping up a plastic thingy. Melted.
When I got my period at his place pretty early on in the relationship he didn‘t make it awkward or acted disgusted, he got me pads and made me a hot water bottle and asked me if i want snacks and made sure that I drank water. The pharmacy was closed so he couldn’t get me pain meds but ever since he makes sure that they’re always in stock at home. I’m gonna marry him someday. Almost 2 years together and it feels like i met him just yesterday.
The small authentic gestures often come as a surprise, which can make it all feel even more special.A pollof 2,000 adults found that nearly half of them believe that small surprises are more effective than grand gestures, such as an expensive dinner or an overnight stay in a fancy hotel.“Pleasant surprises keep the spark alive,” Amie Leadingham added. “Whether it’s showing up with your favorite takeout or planning an unexpected date night, these moments show your partner is still trying to make you smile. They remind us not to take each other for granted.”
The small authentic gestures often come as a surprise, which can make it all feel even more special.A pollof 2,000 adults found that nearly half of them believe that small surprises are more effective than grand gestures, such as an expensive dinner or an overnight stay in a fancy hotel.
“Pleasant surprises keep the spark alive,” Amie Leadingham added. “Whether it’s showing up with your favorite takeout or planning an unexpected date night, these moments show your partner is still trying to make you smile. They remind us not to take each other for granted.”
He asked me for my consent over and over with every act of intimacy, from sxting (we were long distance at first) to first kiss to fooling around to having sx. He led us in mature conversations about our wants & needs & boundaries, and then he followed through with what we talked about. And no matter what I’d previously said I wanted or was okay with, he still asked before acting every single time and would check in with me that things were still okay and comfortable for me even after I would give him consent.And let me tell y’all, I’m describing a very soft & thoughtful & caring man here. But that does not mean he doesn’t still f*****g put. it. down. on. me. So to even have the example being displayed in front of me of a partner who can be dominant and in control but not ab*sive or dismissive. Didn’t actually know this existed.We were 27 years old when we met & he was the first man I’d ever met who did any of those things. & now almost 4 years later, he still makes sure I’m physically and emotionally comfortable and safe every day.
Blaine Anderson compared pleasant surprises in a romantic relationship to garlic in pizza sauce: “You don’t think about it as a key ingredient, but it’s bland as hell without it,” she said.When it comes to the recipe of a happy relationship, though, there’s no garlic. The expert notes that there are three key things that make a romantic relationship work. She advises to:“Think for two. Happy people are pre-empting the needs of their partners; for example, fixing a snack for your girlfriend when you prepare one for yourself. This seems minor, but it sends the message ‘I’m in this with you’, while its absence sends the opposite message.“Consider whether your values and goals are aligned. For example, do you want kids? Where will you prioritize kids versus your career? I know tons of happy relationships where goals aren’t exactly in sync, but the closer they are in sync, the happier the relationship.“Commit. If one person in a relationship is always looking over their shoulder and wondering ‘If I’d dated someone else, this wouldn’t be happening…’ the relationship is doomed. Happy relationships are composed of two people who are fully bought in on participating.”
Blaine Anderson compared pleasant surprises in a romantic relationship to garlic in pizza sauce: “You don’t think about it as a key ingredient, but it’s bland as hell without it,” she said.
When it comes to the recipe of a happy relationship, though, there’s no garlic. The expert notes that there are three key things that make a romantic relationship work. She advises to:
Broke into my house to prepare a casserole and leave a note with cooking instructions. I was a busy single mother and we’d been dating long enough that this wasn’t creepy.
My husband and I had a 7 hour long first date. At the end of it, he shook my hand and said have a lovely night. I definitely would’ve (and wanted him to) kiss me if not more lol. Anywho married almost ten years now.
In Amie Leadingham’s opinion, the real key to a happy relationship is deep trust, honest communication, supporting each other’s dreams, and finding that sweet spot between growing together and staying true to ourselves.“Never stop being curious about each other, even years into the relationship,” she added.
In Amie Leadingham’s opinion, the real key to a happy relationship is deep trust, honest communication, supporting each other’s dreams, and finding that sweet spot between growing together and staying true to ourselves.
“Never stop being curious about each other, even years into the relationship,” she added.
I went out with this guy I was newly dating, plus three other friends one time. We went to the food court to eat, and all of five of us had different food choices so we went on our own to order.Unfortunately my food took longer to make and eventually I saw the four of them (including the guy I was dating) back on the table with all their food.Finally, when I got my food, I went to our table to see the three of my friends digging on their plates while his was untouched.I asked, “Is something wrong with your food? Why haven’t you touched it?”He said, “I was waiting for you”. I swear, I never forgot that moment.I’m now married to him.EDIT:Let me just add that my food took about 5 minutes longer than theirs. I was already expecting them to be eating ahead, and I DIDN’T, nor EXPECTED him or the group to be waiting for me.It was the gesture of him waiting for me while everyone else was eating that made me feel that this guy’s a keeper 🤗.
When I first started dating my now-husband, I had just come out of yet another relationship where I wasn’t treated well. I’d been with people who weren’t genuine and showed all the classic fkboy behavior. At that point, I honestly thought there was something wrong with my ability to pick the right men, so I took a long break from dating to focus on myself.Then my husband came along. On our 3rd or 4th date, he told me he had something important to discuss. My mind immediately went to Oh fk, what’s he about to drop on me? But instead, he said, “I just want to be clear—I really like you. I’m not dating just to date. I’m dating with the intention of marriage, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”I was floored. In all my years of dating, no one had ever been that intentional or upfront with me. It completely changed the game.
I had a difficult childhood, and at one point survived on cans of Spam and sardines. I offhandedly mentioned to him how I always keep at least a can of each in my pantry at all times, because it gives me a sense of peace and safety to know there is something to eat. We weren’t even dating at the time, I visited on the weekends to help with his garden, but the next time I visited, he showed me the several cans of Spam and sardines he bought in the pantry. He told me he wanted me to always feel safe with him and his home, and he will never let either of those items run out. Been together for a little over 3 years now.
When we were young, dating and still living with our respective parents, my car motor blew and I didn’t have rides to work. He would drop his car off to me after he got out of work in the middle of the night while I was asleep and walk home so I had a way to work in the morning.Edit: I say when we were young but we’re still pretty young at 25 lol but we just got married in September after 13 years of dating :).
This seems small but I dated so many guys who would bring up their exes, blaming them for everything, calling them crazy, calling them names. When talking about past relationships, my boyfriend only spoke about how grateful he was to have experienced love and for the time he did spend with his exes. He spoke with respect about the women before me. I still remember that over a decade later. And it did foreshadow how life would be with him. He’s been the most kind, understanding, and patient man to have ever been in my life.
His “pick-up” line after a few dates in public was, “Do you want to come home and meet my cats?”. Yes, yes I do.He is now my husband and the most kind, patient, and loving person I have ever known. (We now have 3 cats and 2 dogs.).
The way he treats every stranger. He always nods to people, greets every person with a “hello sir/ma’am” (he’s not southern). I’ve seen him stop to help numerous strangers. Lady with her hands full who drops something he’s on it, someone yells from across the street he goes to make sure they’re OK, kid locked out if his house, he figures out how to contact their parents. Or even something small like just holding the door open for someone. He truly treats everyone equally. From a maintenence worker to a doctor, he will acknowledge you and treat you with genuine respect. Its not something I see in anyone else, and I strive to be more like him.
I introduced this guy to my mother who is a narcissist and usually incredibly charming to people. I thought he would be dismissive with my complaints/fears and fall for the strict parent cos she cares c**p which was far from reality. He saw through my mother’s bs immediately.I married him.
My husband genuinely listens when I talk about hobbies he doesn’t share, and remembers what I said about them. It makes me really happy.
I ugly cried in front of him. He wiped my tears and picked up my wet tissues with his hand to throw them in the bin and then he got me another tissue box.Gross yes, but that was the moment when he first stood out to me.Okay for those saying tears aren’t gross I’m gonna be straight up. MY TISSUES WERE FILLED WITH SNOT.
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I had a boyfriend who, when using my kitchen trash can, saw it was full, and took it out.Later in our relationship, he would walk my dog for me at night. I never asked him to do either, but he did it automatically.He continued that way, always doing what had to be done without asking me anything.We’ve been married 32 years.(my first husband never did any housework, yardwork, errands or chores, just hung around, so I left him in 2 years. I never wanted to be stuck with the load of house c**p that ruins women’s lives).
I was visiting my parents in a town that’s an hour away from the city I lived in and had just started the drive home but hadn’t reached the interstate yet when I got a call from a guy that I was newly dating, he asked if I was in our city or not, I told him I was on my way back. There had been a mass shooting at a restaurant only a mile away from my apartment and they hadn’t caught the guy yet, they believed he was hiding on foot in the area. The guy I was dating said “I think you should go back to your parents until they catch this guy.” And I whipped my car around and went back.No one I had dated previously at that stage (only a few weeks into it), would have taken the time to connect the dots of the location of a dangerous person and where I lived, worried about my safety, and despite him being incredibly far from controlling, something about him not asking me to not go back to my apartment but telling me that he felt it was best that I did not for the sake of my own safety and anxiety, felt really sturdy and that he genuinely cared about me. Another thing is that I can get really defensive and have “I-dont-need-no-man” moods, men telling me what to do typically pisses me off. But when he told me didn’t think I should drive back, I did not feel irritated or defensive, I knew he was saying it only for my benefit.Married him.
When we eventually started sleeping over at each others’ apartments, I would sometimes get there really late because of work. I was just happy to get to spend the night with him, but nearly every night he would have a hot meal timed perfectly for my arrival. I had never had someone cook food for me at 10pm. Just passed 6 six years since our first date, and I wear my wedding ring with so much pride ❤️.
I had a panic attack/flash back to an as**ult while we were trying to have a good time in bed. He Immediately stopped and held my face to remind me it was him with me, not the other person. Told me we were staying home with a pizza and a Disney movie instead of going out to a party I was planning on going to.I know too many situations where men didn’t stop…. I know the bar is on the ground but he keeps showing me how he’s an amazing human altogether.
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He writes well. Correct spelling and punctuation. The first email he wrote me, i swooned.
On our third date he walks me to my car but then stops and says “wait I have a present for you.” Pulls out a bag and in it are Stella ciders — I had told him in passing a couple weeks prior that they were my fave drink and I hadn’t seen them anywhere since college. I was completely floored. Dating now for 3 months and hopefully this is it.
I was out with friends and got super wasted. I was texting this guy, and mentioned it and he kept telling me to get home safe. While I was out he asked where I was. I told him. We talked throughout the night and kept in touch. When I was getting ready to go, he already made the 45 min drive to me, and told me he was outside, and read to drive me 5 mins to my house. And then back the 45 min drive home. I have been dating this man now, 2 years.
On my first date with my now husband, we were talking about our families. I told him how I had lunch every Sunday with my grandfather and also spent as much time with him as I could because he means the world to me. My husband looked at me with such awe and love in his eyes then proceeded to tell me he had a great aunt he had lunch with every week as well because she was like a 2nd grandmother to him. I still think about how he looked at me that day all these years later.He also tried walking on the outside of me on the sidewalk in case a car came and splashed a puddle. My dumb **s had no idea what he was doing when he was trying to switch me places on the sidewalk when we left the restaurant lol . But it was a sweet gesture.
I’m self conscious about a big scar I have on my back. When my guy first saw it, he just kissed it gently and told me every inch of me is beautiful. He’s now my fiancé :).
I kissed my best friend, and he pushed me back and said “let’s not do this right now”. I was in a REALLY bad place, emotionally, and I think he knew that if we started a romantic relationship at that time, it wouldn’t work out. We both needed to work on ourselves a little bit more. We started our romantic relationship about a year and a half after that, we have been together for 9 years now.Literally any other guy I know would have jumped my bones no matter what storms were going on in my life. My partner was there and helping with those storms, but he didn’t want to complicate that with s*x.
He was actually interested in learning about my interests and sometimes watching shows/movies that weren’t his speed just because I liked them. It was nice to feel like he actually liked me and my personality rather than forcing me to watch what he wants cause he “hates musicals” or smth.
My now husband and I had been dating about 3 months when I moved apartments during medical school. After a long day of moving, I was ready to settle and get ready for bed. After a shower, late into the night, I walked into the kitchen of my junky new apartment and found him lining all of my drawers and shelves with contact paper. I honestly would have never thought to do that and didn’t ask him to. He just did it. I don’t think I had been shown tenderness like that in all of my 25 (at that point) years. 8 years, 2 kids, 2 medical residencies, and many struggles later, that moment sticks in my mind as the purest example of who he is. I picked a good one.
When we first met, he interrupted someone who had just interrupted me, told me to finish what I was saying.Okay, cute, whatever.Then he interrupted me after I interrupted someone else. I apologized, let them finish, then he turned to me and asked me to keep talking my point.sploosh.
He apologized sincerely when he was wrong—no ego, no excuses. Just pure accountability. That hit different.
Cleaned the kitchen with zero prompting from me and, when I gave him a surprised, “Oh wow! Thank you.” he looked at me oddly and simply said, “You cooked, and I live here too.” He’s a very logical man, and helping with the house cleaning was something he just saw as making sense.
My now husband on our first date said text me to let me know you made it home safe right as we went our separate ways. Had been on a lot of first dates and not a single had said anything remotely checking about my safety.
3 days before my birthday, my bf said he had to go on a spontaneous business trip (4 to 6 hours per way depending on traffic) the next day, if l wanted to come. l was pretty upset (his boss often made him go on trips with one day notice, he had missed my bday before, along with other invitations, concerts, family gatherings etc. cause of this) and decided against going cause l had enough stuff to do and didn‘t want to waste two days and sit in the car for 8 to 10 hours cause his boss can’t plan properly, so he got up very early and made it back on the same day.turns out he „had to“ go there to pick up my bday gift cause he wanted to be sure it was there on time.
Like a week into talking with my now boyfriend i had mentioned over text super casually that i was craving a grilled cheese and tomato soup. like 30 minutes later he tells me to look on my porch, and he had walked over in the winter cold and delivered some to me that he made. it may seem like something small but those small things he does adds up to how good of a character he has. we’ve been together a year now :).
He stood up for me in front of his friends. Pretty sure I was instantly ready to jump his bones after that.
I was always ashamed to say I don’t like/hate Cilantro (for me it tastes like soap) in my country we used it a lot for food so usually I just suck it up, my now Bf heard me over the phone telling my mom about it and that I’m allergic to cabbage.A week later We order food from his friend business and made sure my order didn’t had any cilantro or cabbage.I’ve been madly in love with him since that day.
We’ve been talking for a little over a month, but have been on 2 dates. He’s extremely patient. He doesn’t expect anything from me, but welcomes when I’m open to sharing. I have some traumatic things in my past that prevent me from feeling “safe” in relationships, but he allows me to open up when I need, and doesn’t push when I don’t.He also is wonderfully technical and his brain works in this amazing way that is so interesting to watch working. He can also just hold a freaking conversation— so many guys are TERRIBLE at having conversations.
He doesn’t judge my weird love of windmills and pylons and gets excited with me. And acknowledges my overwhelming overthinking when it happens and helps so much to calm me down.
My current partner of 5 years. When we started dating, he would always walk me home with his bike after our dates (so that he could get back to his place more quickly). I had never have anyone do that for me, it really made me feel like I had hit the jackpot and I confirm I did.
It was my second night staying over at his place. He could tell that I didn’t sleep well the first time, so when he asked why, I told him that I always have trouble falling and staying a sleep and that I usually do things like take melatonin gummies to help.So when I went over there to spend the night a second time, he had bought an android charger (he had iphone) for me to use, melatonin gummies, and this lavender scented massage oil “because lavender is supposed to help calm you down” that he used to give me this glorious back massage before we went to sleep. I still didn’t sleep well, but the effort won me over lol.He ended up being a major d*******g in the end, but this was still one of the kindest gestures I’ve ever been shown so, I try not to let his douchebaggery taint the memory for me.
He called me out on my b******t when all the other guys in my life just towed the line. I knew he wasn’t just trying to get into my pants firstly, but I also liked that he had the balls to tell me my attitude sucked.
Had a full-on BPD split on him, and he just looked at me with patience and love instead of disgust like I was a monster. No one else had ever done that before; not even my family. I started healing with him after that, and now I’m in remission.
He is very attentive and considerate—the kind that takes mental notes of little nuances to surprise you with the most thoughtful and unexpected gift later.I had a really bad day and forgot to wear makeup before our date and he didn’t notice at all. This is the guy that will point out my new regular degular socks if he has never seen them before. I thought it was really out of character for him to not notice, but then I realized it’s because he sees me past any makeup or weight gain (:.
My mom was telling a story to my boyfriend and I, the first time I introduced him to her.She was kinda getting lost in the details of her story, as she usually does.I made a sort of «ok, ok, mom… » to encourage her to conclude quickly. I thought she might bore my boyfriend.He went like « hang on, I wanna hear the rest of her story! »That’s when I understood he was able to :- overcome temporary discomfort (my mom DOES ramble…)- stand up to me if he thinks I’m in the wrong- respect people, especially your elders, when you meet them the first time.
When we sleep, he inevitably gets left with two inches of room on his side. Instead of moving me or waking me up, he just gets up and lays on the other side of the bed. If I’m sleeping sideways he moves to the bottom of the bed. He’s actually there right now snoring away lol I love him so much.
As basic as opening the door for me ALWAYS! We dated for 6 years and now married for 3 years.
Was actually chivalrous and genuine on our first date without any expectations back.
He squished a bug for me while we were in the middle of an argument. When I asked him why he said “well I still love you!” He also just constantly thinks about me, it’s just natural to him. He’s always making sure I’m warm, well fed, happy… without being prompted or anything. Just does it.
Politely but firmly asked to be taken seriously and not treated like a convenience item.
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Viktorija Ošikaitė
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