One man took the phrase “love thy neighbor” to a whole new level, when he insisted his queer neighbor break up with their girlfriend and marry his son instead. He refused to believe therelationshipwas “real” – and acted out his disdain in the most despicable way. What followed was an epic battle between two women in love and one very entitled man.
Paint, police, and pride flags became the order of the day, as the three were pitted against each other in what could be described as an extreme fight for equality. In the end, there could be only one winner. Aptly calling herself “luvthyf_ingneighbor”, one of the womenpostedthe saga online. She shared a string of very dramatic and detailed updates, as she spilled all of the neighborhood tea. Hold onto your seats. And be prepared for a tale with many twists and turns.
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It all began when the woman inherited a house from her grandfather, and decided to have her girlfriend over
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Some of the neighbors knew the women were a couple, but others had no clue
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“Not a real relationship”: Not everyone is accepting of same-sex couples
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We’d like to think that America is more progressive than it was before the turn of the century. The first legal same-sex marriage in the U.S. took place in Massachusetts in May 2004. In 2015, the Supreme Court ruled that no states could ban same-sex marriages, effectively legalizing them in all 50 states. Nowadays, more people see gender as fluid. We get to choose our pronouns. And there are laws in place that prevent hate crimes against the LGBTQ+ community.
The bureau’s 2022 stats were released last year. They revealedthat anti-LGBTQ+ hate crimes were one the rise. There was a 13.8% increase in reports based on sexual orientation. And a 32.9% jump in reported hate crimes based on gender identity.
People weighed in on the drama, with many genuinely concerned for the couple’s safety
The woman posted an update, revealing that things had escalated to the point that the cops were called in
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Things seemed to settle down on the street, but it wasn’t long before the gloves came off again
Image credits:Anastasiia Chepinska (not the actual photo)
“Dinah, my GF, and I also have just been living quietly in general hoping the storm passed over.
I can be such a damn fool sometimes. I thought it was all going to be fine. We have cameras, lights, Dinah made a (rainbow – cuzof course) no trespassing sign. She got mini pride flags and staked them in the front garden. Did I mention she gardens? She’s literally a dream girl.
Mr. Miles sort of went back to normal. He smoked his nightly cigars, washed his car, all the usual s**t.
Enter the HOA. I live in a community that, how can I say this? It’s not the hood, but it ain’t fancy. Lots of the people here are people of color and generational owners meaning their grandparents or great grandparents bought the house way back in the day and the owners inherited it. Nobody minds their business, but we let each other be as far as how we use the lawns and s**t like that. It’s very much a “stay in yo lane” situation.
Guy shows up at the door. I’m not home, but Dinah is so this is what she described happened but I admit I “Zennia’d” some details for that extra oomf – Dinah has coined that phrase as according to her I allegedly add a flair to retellings.”
The woman was surprised when a Homeowner Association officer rocked up at the door
“She opens the door with the chain on and this pleasant looking man is smiling at her so she assumes he is a salesman. She just asks if our no soliciting sign is there and is about to close the door at that but he said he’s not selling anything, he’s an officer with the HOA.
Dinah hears the word officer and is cussing in every tongue she knows internally and just asks what he wants. He hands her a notice. Apparently we are in some sort of violation. Dinah’s no pushover so she’s rather unimpressed at this point and he is trying to explain “we noticed some violations-” and she asks point blank if what he’s about to say is in the papers he gave her. He says yes, and she looks it over again.
Hmmm…our rainbow st? A violation. Oh no it’s 7. 7 violations all related to our rainbow st. Now Dinah’s got a main suspect in who is behind all this and she is laughing in this man’s face. He says he really doesn’t want to fine us since they prefer to laid back. But this is causing complaints.
So I get home and she’s out back painting…nothing off about that. She likes creative DIY stuff so I just let her know I’m home and there’s a box. I assumed it was for her because she freaking LOVES Amazon. She comes in and shows me what she’s working on.
Rocks, signs, a set of garden pots you name it, she has rainbowed it and I just sigh and go “What did that man do now?” And she tells me about HOA. I was like “we have an HOA?” And she hands me the papers. I called the number and the voicemail prompt checks out that it is an HOA. I’ve been the owner of the house for over a year. So its news to me. But I’m also first-time homeowner and I’ve been wrong before. I had and have a million questions. Like don’t we get billed for it or something if we’re part of HOA housing??
We had something of a tiff about it (a tiff is a small little argument but “argument” makes it sounds far more dire than it is) as she was camped in “F them especially” territory and I’m thinking of the possible consequences.”
When the couple received an unexpected (and unwanted) gift from the neighbor, the GF vowed not to go down without a massive fight
Image credits:Justin Casey (not the actual photo)
“I finally calm her down and she’s starting to see my side of it. Guys
, I fought the good fight, I really did, she was coming around, I was so close. So close to squashing this issue, calling it a night, play video games with my boo and go back to normal.
BUT FKING NO because the goddamn box. The box wasn’t addressed. It was just a box with a note that said it’s a gift. They were flags. Not pride flags but like various sizes of the American flag. Dinah saw this and FLIPPED the fk out. She’s walking around the house cussing in more than one language. And I’m there in F my life mode knowing damn well we’re a step closer to scorched earth.
Dinah’s not back from work yet, and I WFH so I’m basically just waiting for the other show to drop because now my GF has gone full gollum and God help anyone who tries to stop whatever it is she is thinking about doing. It’s like trying to stick your foot out to stop a bullet train. Not gonna happen and damn painful.”
The couple decided to retaliate with rainbows, once they realized they were well within their rights
“This st is going to make me into some gossip columnist or something because what I am about to share is fking WILD.
The police, after many calls from my GF Dinah, have basically said that our case doesn’t constitute harassment and there is no evidence of anything more (ummm video??) but only destruction of property. They said its largely a civil matter and thus should be handled I’m civil court rather than criminal. Best believe Dinah is not about to let this go.
And now ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary monarchs and all, I present to you, the f**kery.
Mr. Miles saw me washing my Love’s car for her. It was just a thing I wanted to do for her. Not a normal thing I do at all. But she’s been stressed, so I was going for the “hot girl washing cars” thing in part to be cute and silly and was in swimwear. She was calling to me from the upstairs window, whistling and stuff. I laughed. My other neighbors laughed. Mr. Miles came out with a mug of whatever the fk evil drinks (blood of the innocent? Puppy broth? Who knows. Maybe just stty coffee) and was glaring at us, scoffing when she would come out on our porch with her tea to “enjoy the show” – let me be clear, we were not being lewd or anything. She was saying st like “What are your rates? My car has never been so beautiful. I’ll pay you double” it’s cheesy st couples around here say all the time. Maybe the worst thing she said that maybe was less for public consumption was admittably my favorite thing: “Hey good looking, what am I cookin? I WILL MAKE IT HOT for you” implying she will make dinner. I don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but Dinah is the BEST cook but generally doesn’t take that on regularly, so her offering was heaven for me.
Mr. Miles would ahem loudly, shake his head, do that indignant laugh older folks do, everything so we knew he disapproved and was in the audience. So we ignored him. And Idefinitely didn’tdefiantly stay out longer, flirting with my woman to piss him off…solely.
Anyway, Mr. Miles was too much of a coward, so sent Paul again. I was done with the car and Dinah made me a cool cocktail (where we live outdoor st in the summer is done nice and early before the sun gets too high, so it was hotter than Satan’s a*s out) and we sat near the fan enjoying just chatting. Mr. Miles had long gone inside anyway, and this is our home. fk him. We’re going to enjoy it.
We had been putting it off but this spurred Dinah to look into Mr. HOA. He’s legit. An officer of the HOA on the street the other end of Mr. Miles’s/Sugah’s house. But Sugah has been in the hospital for surgery and won’t be back for at least a few days. She has a daughter I keep tabs with who has been in town to help care for her.
When I talked to my own mother, she sounded annoyed about the situation as a whole and ask if I would mind if she herself had a discussion with Miles. She grew up with him so I said that was up to her. She said “Great!” In that way that I knew she would be calling him.
This morning, Daniel, the other son, caught me as I brought out the trashcans. I was surprised because he doesn’t live there, so I don’t often see him. Small talk blah blah blah, and then he gets close and says that he’s sorry about the whole thing with his dad, but I should be warned that he got into quite mood after talking with my parents (I assume mom) and to tread lightly. I thanked him and went back in to tell Dinah.
Anways, have a good long weekend if you’re in the states. I still have a BBQ to plan.
Mom said she talked to Daddy and they are wanting to pay for at least 2,000 USD to “spruce up the place” – Dinah is over the moon, has taken the device and is still talking with Mom now.
God help us all lol.”
“Before I could even work through my vodka-indused brain fog, people were painting… EVERYTHING”: Their friends stepped in to serve a revenge dish of rainbows
Image credits:Myles Tan (not the actual photo)
David is also as gay as the day is long and has heard of all the s**t Mr. Miles has been putting on. Actually ever single person at the BBQ knew. It was a topic I couldn’t escape. Dinah was serving vodka mixed drinks and you can image what 3 queerdos can come up with after a few drinks. David loudly announced “PAINTING PARTYYYYYY” as Dinah went and found every bit of paint we own. Before I could even work through my vodka-indused brain fog, people were painting…EVERYTHING. the porch, my chairs, damn near every rock around my trees and all the raised garden beds. Now my backyard looks like a gay unicorn had projectile diaherea and sh*t rainbows.
I like it.
We played Lily Allen “f**k You” and other gay a*s songs, sang along, there are rainbow flags inside and outside my home at every window, in the garden, between my pumpkins (THEY PAINTED HALF MY PUMPKINS) – this is not a euphemism, both cars have those mini flags that stay when you close the window.
It was insanity. Aaaaand the police arrived. They got a call about a disturbance from a neighbor and we all knew damn well which (my whole street of neighbors were literally right there except him). A quick aside here but it’s not illegal to play loud music during thr day here. Just after like 8 or 9 or something. So no laws were being broken. The cops even admitted that. But they suggested we “just keep it down” – we thanked them, and didn’t.
It was a fun evening. My mom waited until everyone else left and she and Daddy were drinking my best wine, just LOVING this chaos, singing Dinah’s praises, gushing over how she’s designed the interior of this old house (she did really well I have to admit). It’s updated in here and just brighter and fresher. There was a knock on the door and Mom got it. Mr. Miles stepped in with Paul and Daniel in tow. My southern-politeness brain s**t the bed, so Iaudiblygroaned at the sight of him. Dinah came back from the kitchen, saw him, crossed through the whole a*s room and planted a kiss right on my lips as she handed me a fresh drink and sat right on my lap like a housewife.
All’s fair in love and war, even manipulation tactics and emotional blackmail
“He did. The very next day. And sure enough I was alone. Sugah isn’t doing well. She’s not responding to treatment. They’re planning for the worst. I was devastated to hear this. She’s like our neighborhood mom. I’ve known her all my life – she’s practically family. So I started to cry. He was being so nice to me, handing me a napkin, speaking to me softly, rubbing my back and telling me to let it all out. So I did. And then right when I was able to catch my breath and calm down he said he wanted to tell me in person. I told him that was appreciated and I was so sorry for his family.
He said “I know. Thanks. That’s another reason I wanted us to chat like adults. I know that woman you live with doesn’t like me much.” And I laughed without meaning to. Not like him? She would piss on his grave and stomp the dirt down to the tune of “hit the road jack” should the chance arrive. And if she weren’t fit for prison, she’d give herself that chance with her own bare hands.
Mr. Miles is still being nice and says that he knows I am the reasonable one. And that we had our fun but this tantrum of ours needs to end. Sugah will be coming home to live out her time and he doesn’t want her to see our “mess” of a yard. He said it would upset her and he knows I don’t want to ever upset her.
I will be honest, I was so in my feelings over the news that he almost sounded reasonable to me. Then he offered to have Paul come over and “help me” make my home presentable again and my brain kicked back in. I stared at this man, who just used the worst possible news a child could share about a parent as a tactic, and the spirit of Dinah came upon me. I very coldly told him to leave, as I have decorating to do. I think he thought I meant to tear everything down, because he left without a fuss.
I told Dinah the moment she got home. At this point, her patience was up. She stormed out of the house and for a moment I was like “oh God honey don’t do it, I don’t even know where the jail is.” And she came back in with bags. She had been shopping apparently and THIS PART IS ENTIRELY YALLS FAULT.
She found SO MANY items. INCLUDING colorful windchimes. She just held up a few things and asked me to help her unload the rest and I was like “REST!?” So we spent the whole night decorating the front porch. I will f**king marry this crazy a*s woman lol”
The woman was totally unprepared for what came next, and it was at this point that someone started peeling onions…
“This past Wednesday, Sugah got home. I rushed out to hug her and she hugged me back. It was one of those “mama” hugs that make you want to laugh and cry and let everything out. She held my hand tight and looked at our porch. Then she laughed and said “Damn girl, you really leaned in huh?” Then said something was missing. I asked her what and she said my flag. The big one I had in the front. I told her what Miles did to it and a storm went over her whole face. She got quiet and asked me to explain I said she should rest and it’s a long story. She turned to tell her daughter (who drove her) to make some lemonade and that she was going to sit with me on my porch a while.
So I told her everything basically in all my posts including Miles’ recent visit. She kept her expression steely the whole time. She asked a lot of questions. Then asked me if she ever told me about her first love. I thought she meant Mr. Richard, Miles’ late father, and she laughed. She told me a story about how when she was young, before Richard ever asked her out, there was a woman her age who always dressed in suits, which for the time was not considered okay or normal. People hated her but Sugah fell for her almost instantly. She said Dinah reminds her of her and that I seem really happy now that Dinah has moved in. Then she looked at me so serious and said “So are you?” And I went inside to show her the ring I had long bought and that I am going to marry that woman if she’ll have me. She smiled and patted my cheek, kissed my hand and went home.
Yesterday my Daddy called and said “Heya what’s this about a wedding?” And I was like what? And he said that he’s not supposed to be telling me this so don’t tell Mom but she and Sugah had a long phone call and Sugah wanted topay for my wedding. Not some of it. The whole damn thing. This is already long sorry, I swear I am skipping a lot here but I was obviously floored. There’s paperwork involved and mom is working with Sugah on it and Daddy said “Well, I guess you gotta ask that woman to marry you.” And I said I intended to.
So I am writing this antsy as f**k ring in pocket, dressed up, waiting for Dinah to come home from the salon so we can have date night. Mr. Miles is about to have a complete caniption. Wish me luck.”
All’s well that ends well… And as they say, Love always wins
Image credits:Image-Source (not the actual photo)
“Hey guys- so I’m sad to say she said no. It was a lot to-
I’m f**king with you.
She said yes! Y’all I am going to marry the most amazing, smart, strong, hilarious, crazy, loving, beautiful woman in this GODDAMN world and I cannot f**king stand to keep it to myself!!!
We wanted to update you the good news. I’m up to sing “At Last” for karaoke so gotta be on my toes to serenade my fiance.”
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