When teenagers finally become adults, they are let in on the little secret that no one actually knows what they are doing. The truth is that even seasoned adults sometimes need to ask for help and advice to navigate life.One netizenasked the internet“What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?” People shared the ups and downs, misconceptions, and little victories of growing older. So make yourself comfortable, maybe find somewhere to take notes and get to scrolling. Be sure to upvote your favorite posts and comment your thoughts below.This post may includeaffiliate links.
When teenagers finally become adults, they are let in on the little secret that no one actually knows what they are doing. The truth is that even seasoned adults sometimes need to ask for help and advice to navigate life.
One netizenasked the internet“What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?” People shared the ups and downs, misconceptions, and little victories of growing older. So make yourself comfortable, maybe find somewhere to take notes and get to scrolling. Be sure to upvote your favorite posts and comment your thoughts below.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships.
Having kids for the sake of having kids.
You might struggle to explain to them that you don’t really understand what is going on at the same time. So it’s no surprise that many people enter their 30s with only the inkling of a plan and just do their best. Just because someone has survived three decades doesn’t automatically mean they suddenly gain some deeper insight, just like turning twenty doesn’t unlock some new ability.
Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health.Giterdun456:I just turned 30 and realized I’m a bad person. Lying, manipulation, cheating, etc. But I went back into weekly therapy, and I’m pretty determined to not be like this going forward.
Settling for a spouse.thefox47545:See this SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! People getting married for the sake of getting married. As a consequence, I’m seeing divorces SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH too! Been on dates where it’s obvious the girl wants the title of wife more than actually being a wife.
Not exercising enough and eating a cr*ppy diet. You can’t get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20s.
One area that many thirty-year-olds likely don’t think about until it’s too late is physical health. While the twenties are often a peak for many people, this can create bad habits down the line. When you are young, you feel invincible because, in many ways, you sort of are. This rarely translates into one’s thirties, so if a person doesn’t adjust their lifestyle, they end up feeling a lot worse without immediately understanding why.
Not wearing sunscreen and taking care of your skin. especially your face.
I think the biggest mistake I made in my 30s was kind of going on autopilot. I’m 42 in a month, and, to be dead honest, I’m not sure my 30s even happened. It feels like I went from 29 to 40. And I think it’s because I just kind of kept my head down and carried on as usual. I should have spent that time being more pro-active. Stupid me, but it doesn’t have to be stupid you!
Staying at a job they are severely unhappy at and accepting toxic work environments.Cough cough teachers
This is just as true when it comes to partners and careers. It’s actually a bit bizarre that high-school graduates are tasked with picking a career path, then often taking on a mountain of debt, with little-to-no real-life experience. The result is burnt-out people struggling to keep afloat in their twenties, trapped in jobs they don’t actually want to do.
Not taking care of your teeth.
Being concerned about not being the young, trendy generation anymore. Wear your skinny jeans all you want, millennial women!
Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are).iamnottheuser:It’s so easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic, and so are we. We will keep changing and oftentimes in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident, etc.). I’m so happy to be who I am at 37.
Taking care of your body. Once I turned 31 lots of medical issues arose for me from various things but contact sports leave more damage than you know. Go to the dentist go to the doctor be active. I say all this as I’m about to be in a hospital during a hurricane in Florida. Take care of yourself physically. mentally. and spiritually.
One reason why some may simply try to avoid this question is the tough-to-swallow reality that things tend to get worse. Your body breaks down, you really do need to be setting more money aside for retirement and you have less and less time to function. But you are finally at a stage in life where you have, hopefully, tried enough to know what you want. This knowledge is perhaps worth more than just its weight in gold, which can be simply bought and sold. Experience only comes with time.
Not listening to their burnout signals and just settling in for the long haul. You’re not going to make it. And if you do “make it” you won’t like yourself or the sacrifices you had to make along the way.
Thinking you’re a finished product, not likely to change all that much.
Biggest mistake I made in my 30’s was not enjoying them more.Young enough to party, still play some sports, and perfectly in place in any bar. You have energy, you have a circle of friends (that will get smaller, trust me).Try to carpe a diem every once in a while, the decade passes VERY quickly.
Not getting over or at least somewhat understanding your childhood and parental issues. Understanding that stuff can make the rest of your life easier.
Thinking you can’t make a difference in someone’s life because the world is too large to see your small act. I have a student with extreme depression, and I always remind her that it’s not a bad life, it’s a bad day when she has an attack. Even though she is usually too upset to talk or even respond, I just sit with her in silence until the crisis passes. A lot of people will ask me why I even bother, she’ll never get better, my action is insignificant and means nothing, but you know what: it meant something to her and made her life better. That’s good enough for me. Never think you can’t make a difference, people.
Not stretching. Like not necessarily before exercise (though absolutely that too) but just in general.
Thinking you need the job, house, marriage, kids combo to be perfect.I got into a profession I loved at 32, after I switched careers, and went back to school at 29. I’ve had 4 different jobs since.Bought a house at 34. Got lucky. Right now is not the time.Had a kid at 38- it took 6 years of trying.I’m really happy.No fairytale relationship, and that’s ok. Never married, don’t believe in it.It’s never too late to retrain for a job, houses depend a lot on APR and debt ratio, marriage is expensive if you do it with the wrong person, kids are a blessing if you want them, there are natural limits to fertility. If you don’t, lots of wonderful contraceptive options don’t depend on other people for that.Live the life you want for you and the people who support and uplift you. Ignore social media and ignore social norms. Do commit to something special, a person, a project, a dream. Commitment yields good things! Don’t lose out on a good thing you have, while imagining everything you do not have is better.The grass is greener where you water it. Or you know, tear it up and plant something local. Everything I have achieved took years of planning, support, and intention. Slow and steady. Small and focused.
Not starting to save for retirement.
Smoking. You need to quit that s**t. After 10 years of smoking I stopped smoking at the age of 28. Best thing I’ve ever done. Now I am 32, healthier than ever.
Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings.ThunderBobMajerle:Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate. But if you sit down and talk with them, you will learn all sorts of shortcomings and difficulties in their life that will make you appreciate something about yourself and your situation. In other words, we’re all just out here trying to function.
Thinking you aren’t STILL sexy, sensual, and desirable. You are, you’re beautiful.
Thinking it’s too late to do something. “I don’t have any credit built”, “I don’t have any retirement savings”, and get disheartened from trying. The best time was yesterday, the next best time is today.
Thinking you have to be settled in your career. 39 and starting over. Excited for new chapter.
My mistake was not traveling and remaining in my own near-sighted American cocoon. My advice is to travel as soon as you can and sample what the World has to offer. Places in the U.S. and overseas may offer better environments and circumstances well beyond what you have today.
This one is not specific to the 30s: Not understanding our inner world is the biggest mistake. As Carl Jung wrote: ‘But you cannot flee from yourself. It is with you all the time and demands fulfillment.’ A significant portion of who we truly are, what we like, what we are capable of, and the reasons we do the things we do, persist within a realm we don’t actively understand or have access to. To become our true selves, we need introspection to learn about the aspects of our being that we are unaware of, dislike or hide.
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Mine is always thinking that you will be healthy.I’ve been disabled my entire life and have had some friends who have developed chronic illnesses or had accidents in their 30s who thought they would always be able bodied and capable tell me they never thought about what if.So vote for infrastructure that makes things accessible! If you’re buying a forever home can you navigate it with a wheelchair? Do you have a death and dismemberment policy? Do you have a plan on who would help you?Definitely more morbid than most but being already disabled at a young age makes you think differently. 🤷🏻♀️
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Drinking like they’re still in their 20s. Acting like they’re still in their teens.
Letting your job take over your life and neglecting your mental, physical, and emotional health.
Staying up too late. You can’t bounce back like your twenty any more!
I’m 62 and I so wish that I had followed my dreams in my 30’s.
Asking people in their 40s for advice. People their 40s are just as lost and clueless as you.Edit: Middle-aged here and just as clueless now as I was as young person.
Lifting with their back.
Don’t think the grass is greener. Conversely, keep making the effort with your partner.I’ve seen countless people have affairs or leave their partners when they get into their mid 30s, often after having kids with them. Loads of people I know did it - I got divorced myself in my mid 30s and my subsequent partner had an affair herself when she was in her mid 30s.Basically the common denominator in all of these cases was - mid 30s.Fair enough if your partner is a nightmare, as my second relationship was. However many people don’t seem to realise that they themselves aren’t the easiest, and lack the enthusiasm or energy to get out of that rut.Believe me, it’s far easier to get out of that rut - no matter how hopeless it seems, than it is to break up the family and all the subsequent s**t that goes with it.
Spend way too much money.doktorhladnjak:Lifestyle inflation can really take off in your 30s.
Pushing through minor injuries.
Repeating the mistakes they made in their 20s.
Having kids and buying houses and vehicles they can’t afford. you can wind up 2 or 3 hundred thousand dollars in debt in a trice, especially if the kid(s) are disabled or troubled, the house incurs major structural damage, or your Beemer gets destroyed in a flood.
Sleeping wrong and being in pain all day.
Not making a solid financial plan for the future.
Remarrying waaaay too soon after divorce, and finding it out the hard way a few years later. Third time was the charm though.
Trying to do all the things they used to be able to do in their teens and early twenties but stopped doing 4 or 5 years ago.
Think they are 20.
The most important. Have a mentor or confidant that (is preferable not a family member) to check in with. Everyone needs someone to talk to other than their spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, life partner, or whatever arrangement one may have. Family is not always supportive or understand the hopes, dreams and aspirations. There are a lot of dream squashers out there. Some may feign looking out for your best interest when in reality are probably a bit of a narcissist to make one doubt their self worth.
Thinking we can still drink stupid and recover for work in a couple hours.My body is starting to feel it some days.
Buying a house without 20% down.
Credit cards.
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