We want to get along with our colleagues. After all, few things drain you as much as unnecessary drama.

A woman that Ved works with wants to send her daughter on a trip to Africa, but since it costs a lot of money, the mom is asking others to contribute. And as the deadline approaches, she’s getting increasingly pushy.

RELATED:

Parents want the best for their kids, but their enthusiasm can sometimes come across as pushy or excessive

Woman reading on a tablet, seated on a couch with themed pillows, contemplating her daughter’s exotic trip.

Image credits:allatsyganova (not the actual photo)

Especially when they want others to contribute to their child’s success

Text about a woman seeking money for her daughter’s exotic trip to Namibia, organized by her school.

Text about a woman persistently asking for money for her daughters' exotic trip fund.

Text expressing frustration about contributing to a fund for a daughter’s expensive trip.

Woman seeking donations for daughter’s exotic trip; poster in local post office and Spar, urging contributions.

Woman taking a selfie in sunglasses and casual attire outdoors, related to daughters' exotic trip.

Image credits:vadymvdrobot (not the actual photo)

Text discussing contributions for woman’s daughter’s exotic trip.

Text criticizing a woman’s selective gratitude on Facebook for donations towards her daughters' exotic trip.

Text snippet about a woman asked to fund a daughter’s exotic trip despite the family’s middle-class status.

Text screenshot discussing woman’s dilemma over refusing money for daughter’s trip.

Image credits:Ved

Rejection is part of raising funds

Mom Sets Up Fundraiser For Daughter’s Trip To Africa, Gets Agitated Over Lack Of Donations

Image credits:maitree rimthong (not the actual photo)

It sounds like the woman might think her cause is compelling enough to warrant repeated requests for donations, even at the risk of annoying other people.

But Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, who was awarded the United States National Humanities Medal for her contributions to society as America’s foremost etiquette columnist and author, does not believe that a noble goal excuses rude behavior.

“It is indeed a common fundraising technique to work the embarrassment that people might feel when refusing friends and colleagues, among whom they live and work (and who are likely familiar with their financial capabilities),” shewrites.

“Even generous philanthropists do not enjoy social pressure. And at what cost, financially? Those who contribute only as a favor to you, rather than from genuine interest, might then reasonably expect you to contribute equally to their favorite charities.”

She is not alone.

Neon One is a company that provides software solutions tailored for nonprofits to help them manage fundraising, donor relationships, events, and other administrative tasks.

According totheir experts, not every request results in a donation, and people trying to raise funds should understand that rejection is a natural part of the process, as well as an opportunity to learn.

If someone declines to give, they say, you should respond graciously and thank them for considering your request, not continue bombarding them with messages, trying to change their mind.

Text discussing a woman trying to fund her daughters' exotic trip through eBay selling, raising £150 so far.

People who have read the story believe the mom is out of line

Text from a comment saying, “I won’t be giving anything, please stop asking me,” related to a woman’s story about money for an exotic trip.

Text exchange discussing refusal to pay for a daughter’s exotic trip.

Text screenshot discussing a response to a woman asking for money for her daughter’s exotic trip, emphasizing financial limits.

Text discussing how to handle requests for money for a daughter’s exotic trip through small contributions or alternative funding.

Text response highlighting blunt advice about persistence in a situation involving begging for money.

Text conversation about a woman asking to fund her daughter’s exotic trip, mentioning budget concerns and charity donations.

Text response declining donation for woman’s daughter’s exotic trip, expressing prior allocation of charitable funds.

Text exchange about refusing to donate, prioritizing charity over funding exotic trips for a daughter.

A comment discouraging contributions to a woman’s request for money for her daughter’s exotic trip.

Text discussing budgeting priorities over funding an exotic trip for daughter.

Commentary on funding for daughters' exotic trips, questioning the impact of such trips on local communities.

Comment discussing a woman’s pushy behavior regarding money for her daughter’s exotic trip.

Text conversation about woman begging money for daughter’s exotic trip.

Comment referencing “Grange Hill” cast, advising to decline with “just say no,” related to a woman’s money request for daughters' trip.

Comment about refusing to donate money for an exotic trip, questioning the friendship’s value.

Commentary on a woman’s request for money for her daughters' exotic trip, suggesting to give or block her.

Thanks! Check out the results:Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ieva Pečiulytė

Shelly Fourer

Relationships