Since ancient times, when the institution of marriage itself appeared, confrontations between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have been common. Two women who often compete in literally every area of family life, from the way to properly fold socks in the wardrobe to methods of raising children.
The story we will tell you today, from the useru/Constant-Story-1575, is one such story. The tale of a grandmother who didn’t get along with her daughter-in-law and, as a result of this confrontation, transferred it to her grandkids. However, let’s tell everything in order.
More info:Reddit
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The author of the post is a mom of two adult sons, and both are married and have kids
Image credits:Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
From the very first days, the author didn’t get along with the wife of one of her sons, and it grew into a full-fledged feud
Image credits:Constant-Story-1575
Image credits:Aniket Sharma / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author then switched her attention to another son’s family – especially since she was on great terms with his spouse
The situation worsened recently when the author gifted her family necklace to one of the granddaughters and her “hostile” DIL accused her of “playing favorites”
So, the Original Poster (OP) in this story is a lady who has at least two adult sons, both married with kids. And if the author always had a wonderful relationship with one of the DILs, then therelationshipwith the second, “Amy,” didn’t work out. You probably know how it happens.
As a result, Amy usually involved her mom in helping with the kids, and over time, she stopped going to the MIL’s house at all. Our heroine says that her son tried to reconcile them, but over time he gave in – and usually came to visit his parents himself, without his family. So the author switched herattentionto another son’s kids – fortunately, the second DIL was always happy with her help.
So it turns out that a decade later, the OP barely knows her grandkids from one son, but gets along well with her other grandchildren. And recently, she gave her granddaughter a rather expensive familynecklacefor her 10th birthday. Upon learning of this, Amy got indignant and called her MIL, accusing her of playing favorites with her grandkids.
After all, according to the mom, her daughter is a year older than her cousin, and rightfully deserves this gift. In response, the OP said that yes, she’s playing favorites – but it’s only Amy’s fault, and no one else’s. After all, if she hadn’t distanced herself from her years ago, then she’d have had a chance to get to know her grandkids better and establish relationships with them.
Image credits:Antoni Shkraba/ Pexels (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately,parentalfavoritism is more than widespread throughout the whole world. According to somestudies, it occurs in around 65% of families. And in fact, favoritism affects not only childhood but also a person’s entire life.
According toBaton Rouge Parents, favoritism in the long term can cause serious problems, such as anxiety, depression, and unstable and even traumatic reactions when the grown-up child builds their own relationships. By and large, many of our problems in communicating with relatives have their roots in childhood. So any manifestations of favoritism, even those described in our story, are already unhealthy.
“On the one hand, you can understand this woman, who decided to give a gift to the grandkid whom she knows best. And, in the end, it’s her necklace, so she has the right to do what she wants,” says Irina Matveeva, apsychologistand certified NLP specialist, whomBored Pandaasked for a comment here. “On the other hand, it seems to me that there’s a lot left unsaid in this story.”
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