Relationships with in-laws are tricky things. You may hit the jackpot and have second parents, where you will have the most beautiful relationship, but you also may be not that lucky and find that every interaction turns into a fight, making you avoid their company whenever possible. Well, after hearing and reading quite a lot of stories, I believe it’s safe to say that unfortunately, the second variant is more common.
On that topic, recently, one Reddit user shared her story online after her MIL decided to show up unannounced to her home while she was busy watching her sister’s kids and got mad as the woman didn’t pay enough attention to her.
More info:Reddit
It’s rude to think that a person would drop everything that they were doing just to give you enough attention
Image credits:Jep Gambrardella (not the actual photo)
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A couple hours later they paid a visit and the woman was unable to leave the kids, so called out her greetings
Image credits:Teona Swift (not the actual photo)
However, later on, the husband got complaints from his MIL that the woman was being rude to a guest and she felt disrespected
Image credits:u/ParentingMultiples
After a few heated phone calls, MIL now wants to come over and talk things out, but the woman doesn’t want her in her home
Now, speaking about this exact situation, recently, OP’s in-laws came to visit for a few days and one evening they had plans to attend a show and the woman agreed to watch her sister’s kids. However, the show was canceled, FIL called to ask what the couple’s plans were, they explained that they were busy and the conversation ended. But, a few hours later, MIL showed up at their door.
She stood in the front entryway with OP’s husband talking while the woman called out greetings to her as she was watching the kids. But 10 minutes passed and she heard MIL complaining about how the woman was being rude to a guest. Some time after she left, she called OP’s husband again to complain that she felt disrespected that the woman didn’t even come to say hi when her visits should be important.
Well, after more phone calls between OP’s husband and his parents, now MIL wants to come over and talk things through, while the woman doesn’t want her in her home at all. She is considering not opening the door at all, but asks online if it would be too harsh.
In addition to this, the woman posted anupdateabout the whole situation. So OP took people’s advice and didn’t invite her in-laws into her home; instead, her husband went to a coffee shop to speak to them. Once they met, the husband explained the whole situation, including that OP was watching 9 kids and was serving dinner when MIL showed up. She said that she never heard OP say anything, even though she answered and the kids had to come and give her a hug as well.
So after hearing the whole story, FIL asked MIL several times if she was lying, but, of course, she denied everything. The author shares that her husband also reminded his mom of that time when she told OP ‘screw you’, to which she had nothing to say in response. So the whole situation ended with FIL apologizing and MIL refusing to do so as she ‘doesn’t owe apologies’. OP’s husband told his mom that she is being cut off for a while until she manages to at least apologize.
Image credits:Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
Now, as it’s not a surprise that dealing with in-laws may be complicated and full of conflicts, it’s important to figure out how to manage them in a healthy way.Focus On The Familyshares that firstly, it’s important to set clear boundaries. For example, if your MIL shows up unannounced, throwing a tantrum won’t solve all the problems, but communicating and suggesting solutions such as meeting in the evening or another day may help solve this issue.
Another common issue is that in-laws tend to share their thoughts that they believe are always right. However, it’s important to remember that their opinions are just opinions and you don’t always have to agree, follow or argue about them. And finally, be kind. Even if they are hard to deal with, they still deserve respect – going into conflict won’t solve any issues.
Okay, now let’s see how you can spot signs that your in-laws may be toxic. According toBustle, the first sign is that they try to turn you and your significant other against each other. When your in-laws make everything into a terrible game of “he said, she said,” it’s clear that your relationship with your partner is suffering as a result of their negativity. In this case, it’s crucial for you and your partner to unite as a couple.
Another aspect may be that they insert themselves in your decisions as a couple. You have an issue if your in-laws are becoming involved in your decisions and acting as though their judgment should be given the same weight as yours. Setting boundaries with them in this situation is crucial, but it must be done so firmly.
Redditors backed her up and shared their opinions and suggestions
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