They say money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can pay for a fancy lunch with a side of family tension. And when it comes to in-laws and finances, things can get messier than a toddler with a bowl of spaghetti. Parents spend years raising their kids, investing in everything from diapers to driving lessons, so some start to feel like their adult children should return the favor. But where’s the line between appreciation and a full-fledged financial obligation?

One Redditor found herself right in the middle of this money-meets-family conundrum—when she started noticing that every time her mother-in-law visits, herbank accountshrinks.

More info:Mumsnet

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Hand placing cash in a brown bill holder on a restaurant table, highlighting wallet absence.

Image credits:freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

One woman is fed up with her mother-in-law, who never pays her share of the bill and doesn’t even bother to offer, despite being able to afford it

Text discussing MIL’s wallet and her never offering to pay during outings with daughter-in-law.

Text discussing a situation where the mother-in-law doesn’t pay her share when the bill arrives.

Elderly woman seated at a table with champagne, suggestive of a missing wallet scenario.

Image credits:talkinapa / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Whenever the mother-in-law visits, the woman always has a full fridge, and is ready to cook, but the mother-in-law always wants to eat out and visit museums without paying

Text discussing the repeated absence of MIL’s wallet when it’s time to pay bills, despite being invited to outings.

Text expressing frustration about MIL’s absent wallet and sharing expenses.

Image credits:Starry4321

It all started with regular visits from the OP’s (original poster) mother-in-law. At first, it was just a fewluncheshere and there. But soon, it became clear that this wasn’t an occasional treat—it was an expectation. The OP’s mother-in-law would show up, happily accept every invitation to eat out, order whatever she pleased, and then conveniently forget that paying is, in fact, a thing people do. Every. Single. Time.

And it’s not like she’s a guest who pops in for an afternoon coffee—no, no, she’s staying over. The fridge is stocked, and home-cooked meals are prepared, yet when the bill comes at restaurants, she remains impressively motionless, continuing her streak of Olympic-level bill-dodging.

So, why do someparentsfeel like their kids should start paying for them once they hit adulthood? Sure, they raised them, but does that mean the financial responsibility shifts entirely in the other direction? It’s a tricky balance, especially when younger couples are still trying to make ends meet. Setting healthy financial boundaries is key, even if it means a few awkward conversations along the way.

Daughter-in-law and MIL in a heated discussion on a gray couch, both gesturing expressively.

Image credits:namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Talking about money with family is like handling a live grenade—one wrong move, and you’ve got drama. Theprossay the key is keeping it casual but clear. Instead of waiting until you’re stuck with yet another bill, bring it up in a lighthearted way. “Hey, we’re trying to stick to a budget, so let’s split meals when we go out” sounds a lot better than “Why do we always pay?”

If the direct approach makes you sweat, try framing it as a team effort: “We love going out with you, but we need to be mindful of our spending—how about we take turns picking up the check?” Or use the “Who’s Got This One?” trick. When the bill arrives, don’t reach for it first. Just sit there. Your mother-in-law might surprise you or at least experience a moment of discomfort.

Sure, helping out a parent who’s struggling is the right thing to do, but how much do adult kids reallyowe their parents? Grown-up children shouldn’t feel obligated tofunda parent’s lifestyle at their own expense. Financial support should be a choice, not a guilt trip.

There’s a difference between covering a parent’s necessary expenses and feeling like a personal ATM. Mutual respect is key—parents who raised their kids expecting financial payback might need a reminder that support goes both ways, not just from the younger generation to the older one.

Moral of the story? If your partner’smomexpects a free meal every time she visits, she should at least pretend to fight you for the bill. Otherwise, the only thing getting exercised during her stay is your credit card.

MIL’s wallet absence discussed; always expects others to pay the bill, raising financial concerns.

Comment discussing MIL’s wallet and unpaid bills with a suggestion for visiting free attractions.

Text exchange discussing relationship dynamics about MIL’s wallet and bill situations.

Text comment discussing MIL’s wallet not showing up at bill time.

Comment discussing the etiquette of paying for one’s meal at social gatherings.

Text suggesting to cut spending on trips and see if the MIL offers to cover the bill.

Text comment on screen discussing avoiding expenses related to MIL’s wallet, with emojis.

Woman in a blue shirt looking concerned, sitting with her hand on her head, thinking about missing wallet.

Image credits:Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text exchange discussing mother-in-law’s missing wallet each time at restaurants.

Comment advising on reducing visits due to MIL’s wallet absence when bills arrive.

Text exchange about mother-in-law’s habit of always paying for meals.

Comment on etiquette about MIL’s wallet, discussing paying for outings.

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