Weddingsare all about love and celebration, of course. But there are a few aspects of the day that are almost just as important, one of which is thecake. Couples often spend months sampling flavors, scoping out bakeries and perusing designs on Pinterest to find the perfect, delicious crowd-pleaser.
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For many brides and grooms, their wedding cake is an important part of the celebration
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But one mom decided that her daughter didn’t deserve to have the cake of her dreams
Image credits:GaudiLab / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
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“Some parents accept their advisory role and respect boundaries; others treat wedding decisions like a hostile corporate takeover”
Image credits:freepik (not the actual photo)
“Some parents take wedding planning as their final parental duty, like a graduation ceremony for their child-upbringing career. They’ve nurtured this human for decades, so being left out can feel like being kicked out of their own life’s biggest group project,” the expert explained.
But Jhona says the level of upset varies. “Some parents accept their advisory role and respect boundaries,” she noted. “Others treat wedding decisions like a hostile corporate takeover. The emotions behind it usually boil down to control, nostalgia, and a little bit of FOMO.”
“They want to feel needed. And if they feel like their opinions are being ignored, they sometimes take drastic action—like, oh, swapping out an artisanal wedding cake for a supermarket sheet cake because justice must be served,” she added with a laugh.
Jhona shared that she actually once interviewed a mother of the bride who admitted she kept suggesting “little changes” to her daughter’s wedding plans—only for it to snowball into her dictating the entire guest list. “The bride ended up eloping. So yeah, parental involvement can be a slippery slope.”
So is there anything the bride and groom can do to help their parents feel included without letting them make important decisions? “Yes, but it requires strategy,” Jhona says. “Think of it like giving a toddler a fake steering wheel in the backseat. They feel like they’re driving, but they’re not actually in control.”
You can actually find a post on Bespoke Bride includingsmartways to include your future mother-in-law in your wedding planningright here.
Here are some of Jhona’s tried and true tricks: “Give them a project with clear limits. Something like assembling welcome bags or choosing a small element of décor. Bonus points if it’s something they care about but won’t derail the aesthetic,” she shared.
“Weddings aren’t about control; they’re about love, support, and a really, really good cake”
“Create a ‘parent-only’ event,” the expert continued. “Maybe a special menu tasting or a pre-wedding family dinner where they can feel important without influencing key decisions.”
And remember to phrase things carefully. “Instead of saying, ‘We don’t want your help,’ try, ‘We’d love for you to be part of this specific moment.’ That way, they feel chosen, not sidelined,” Jhona suggests.
Finally, we asked the expert what advice she would give to moms and dads who want to be more involved than they’re allowed to be. “First, recognize the difference between helping and taking over. If the couple says, ‘We’ve got this covered,’ believe them,” Jhona told Bored Panda. “They’re not rejecting you—they’re just creating a wedding that reflects them.”
“Second, ask yourself: Is this about the couple, or is this about me? A wedding should never become a battleground for unresolved family drama,” she continued. “If you feel left out, tell your kid how much their happiness means to you and offer support—not demands.”
“And finally, if you must intervene, do it with style. Sneaking in a budget cake swap is just tacky,” the expert says. “If you want to have an impact, find a classy way to contribute—like an emotional speech, a heartfelt letter, or, you know, not turning the reception into an episode of Cake Wars.”
“In the end, weddings aren’t about control,” Jhona added. “They’re about love, support, and a really, really good cake. The kind that the couple actually picked. And if you do need some tips about that –read our post about how to choose the perfect wedding cakeright here.”
Later, the author shared a few more details about the situation
Readers found the story amusing, and many called out the mother for her bad behavior
Some even had similar stories of their own to share
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