Parents-to-behave a lot of things to consider before welcoming a new life into the world. While diapers, bottles, food, clothes, and cribs may take up the most space in their minds, it’s also important to think about how the delivery itself is going to happen. This is where a birth plan comes into play, which allows parents to choose things they would like to include in it and helps to keep everyone on the same page.

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Having a birthing plan in place is a great way to get everyone involved on the same page

Pregnant woman in a white dress standing outdoors, holding her belly gently in a peaceful garden setting.

Image credits:Wesley Tingey/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Even though this MIL wasn’t included, she still tried squeezing into the birthing plan, which majorly stressed out the parents-to-be

Man with a beard looking frustrated, hand on forehead, reflecting family tension over child’s arrival.

Image credits:Ave Calvar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Older woman in a purple shirt sitting on a floral sofa, talking on the phone, looking concerned.

Image credits:Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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“There is no room in a birth plan for someone else’s dreams and desires”

Pregnant woman gently touching her belly, wearing a white outfit, symbolizing anticipation and new beginnings.

“Labor can be an overwhelming time for birthing people and their partners—stress, fatigue, and worry can cloud one’s thoughts and hinder the ability to make important decisions. A birth plan can serve as an anchor to the priorities of the expectant family. Just the process of creating a birth plan can help the birthing couple learn more about the options that are available for birth,” she further explains.

It also greatly benefits the staff that attends thedelivery, notespregnancy coach, doula, and founder ofStrengthLoveBirth.com,Bethany Dykman. “At a glance, for example, a nurse just arriving to their shift for the day can see what is most important to this person giving birth in this room.”

“As a new family is formed, this is an ideal time for new parents to begin focusing on their own desires and philosophies for parenting. While a new family may want to consider others’ hopes and desires, those factors should not be forefront while making critical decisions. I believe that the earlier these boundaries are set (and enforced!) the easier it will be going  forward!” says Holt.

“When it comes to actually putting words on paper, though, those words and thoughts should only be those of the birthing parents. There is no room in a birth plan for someone else’s dreams and desires. This is a document for you to express your wishes for a plan for the birth of your child from your body,” adds Dykman.

“If all else fails, usually the hospital staff are great at crowd control!”

Newborn baby wrapped in a blanket, peacefully sleeping in a hospital bassinet.

Image credits:Jimmy Conover/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“The only people who should be in the delivery room are those who will fully support the birthing person and will not bring in any undue stress, worry, or needs that detract from the birth,” says Dykman. “The birthing couple, a midwife or doctor, the nurses and other trained hospital personnel, a carefully vetted doula, a trusted friend or family member—these are the people most likely to truly keep the birthplace safe and supported.”

However, chances are that some people highly anticipate being there for the delivery, while the parents might not be as happy at the thought of them being there. This means that they’ll have to turn them down, even if it might be uncomfortable.

“As a doula, I have seen the anguish of many women who don’t know how to tell their anxious mothers that their presence in the delivery room is not welcome. However, this is the time for good vibes only! If you have any misgivings about how someone might react during the labor and birth of your child, don’t risk it! Trust your intuition on this one and only invite those who give you a sense of peace and safety. These are the most important qualities in a birth entourage,” Bykman explains.

While informing that a certain person won’t be able to participate in the delivery, Holt advises starting with expressing gratitude and then following up with one of the scripts she provided below:

“If all else fails, usually the hospital staff are great at crowd control!” says Holt. “They may be able to assist in clearing out the room if extra people arrive.”

The majority of readers thought the couple did  the right thing

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Reddit comment supporting decision about meeting baby, gaining positive feedback and gratitude.

Text comment about MIL’s reaction to a woman’s decision and family conflict over meeting the baby.

Reddit comment about protective response to MIL’s actions affecting wife and unborn baby.

Reddit comment discussing family dynamics and advice on protecting personal moments with a new baby.

Comment discussing MIL’s reaction to a woman’s decision about meeting a baby, highlighting family tension and support.

Online comment about relationship dynamics with mothers-in-law after a new baby.

Text exchange reacting to mother-in-law’s behavior over meeting the baby.

Text expressing concerns about a grandmother’s harmful behavior towards a stressed mother and baby.

Online message discussing family boundaries regarding meeting a baby.

Text comment advising on family priorities and respecting a wife’s wishes regarding baby meetings.

Text discussing a mother-in-law’s reaction to a woman’s decision about meeting the baby.

User’s comment on family respect regarding a woman’s decision about meeting the baby.

Reddit comment discussing MIL’s reaction to not meeting the baby.

Comment appreciating a husband’s dedication and humor on Reddit.

While some believed the ultimatum was ridiculous

Text exchange discussing a woman’s decision about meeting the baby, involving family disagreement.

Text discussing family stress about grandparents meeting a baby amid pregnancy challenges.

Forum comment discussing mother-in-law’s feelings about meeting the baby.

A Reddit comment discusses MIL reaction to a wife’s decision about meeting their baby.

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