There’s no denying that men and women often see the world through different lenses, but it seems the gap between them is growing wider. According to theSurvey Center on American Life, only 42% of young men feel that women recognize the problems they face. At the same time, 72% of young women believe men don’t fully grasp their struggles.Clearly, there’s a need for better communication and understanding to bridge this divide. To share their side of the story, men onRedditrecently opened up about what they wish women would understand about them.Read on to see their perspectives, along with expert advice fromKevin Pasco, relationship coach for men, on how to build healthier and more meaningful connections with women.More info:Instagram|YouTubeThis post may includeaffiliate links.
There’s no denying that men and women often see the world through different lenses, but it seems the gap between them is growing wider. According to theSurvey Center on American Life, only 42% of young men feel that women recognize the problems they face. At the same time, 72% of young women believe men don’t fully grasp their struggles.
Clearly, there’s a need for better communication and understanding to bridge this divide. To share their side of the story, men onRedditrecently opened up about what they wish women would understand about them.
Read on to see their perspectives, along with expert advice fromKevin Pasco, relationship coach for men, on how to build healthier and more meaningful connections with women.
This post may includeaffiliate links.
Sometimes you are wrong. There are things that a lot of women do that are toxic, even sexist. You are not perfect.
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When we ask you “what’s wrong” just tell us what’s wrong in simple terms. We can’t read minds.
Just because I’m talking to you doesn’t mean I’m trying to hit on you. It just means I’m talking to you.
In 2024, the age of smartphones, social media, and dating apps, men are struggling to form meaningful relationships—so much so that it’s been labeled the “male loneliness epidemic.”
In terms of romance, men appear to be trailing behind women. According to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey,6 in 10 men under 30 are single—nearly double the rate of women in the same age group. The Equimundo study also found that about 1 in 5 men are either not seeking a relationship or are unable to find sexual partners.
This is a ‘some women’ deal: I wish more people (in general) realized that ‘men’ and ‘women’ aren’t teams. Just like I don’t have to back up every single thing a guy does because I’m a guy, you don’t automatically have to back up a woman because you’re both women.
That we have feelings and should be able to share them. Yet societal norms have me feeling weak for even saying this.
Most of the time, when men say something, there is no hidden meaning.
However, Kevin Pasco, relationship coach for men, believes this approach is misguided.
“So many men are frustrated with women (and vice versa) because we’re being taught all the wrong ways to have a relationship,” Pasco toldBored Panda. “Men aren’t being taught how to be solid leaders, how to communicate, how to connect with their feelings, and most importantly, how beautiful it is to have a deep relationship with a woman.”
“It’s become more common for men to be involved in hook-up culture, avoid being vulnerable, and only focus on what they cangetinstead of what they cangive,” he added.
That we can in fact think about nothing.And that deep breath we do isn’t sighing.It’s our brain remembering that we need to breathe.
Telling a guy that since he is a man he should " help you open the door", “let you walk in first” or “carry the heavy things” is like telling a girl that since she is a woman she should “smile more” or “dress modestly” or " be more quiet".
That humans are sensitive creatures plain and simple. Men are just as sensitive as women but can be socially conditioned to perceive this as weakness and close it off. Men can quickly lean towards anger or bravado as defence mechanisms but if you peel back the layers of any person, inside is a sensitive inner child, that grew older, they have fears, hopes, needs. A man cannot be a stoic monolith, he needs support and encouragement as well as a place to feel safe to be vulnerable.
“One of the biggest things stopping men from having better relationships with women is that most men aren’t in their masculine energy,” Pasco explained. “And I don’t mean being jacked, having a beard, and drinking whiskey—what society thinks being masculine is.”In Pasco’s view, true masculinity means having a clear goal or vision in life and actively pursuing it, being clear about what you want, and offering safe, protective energy in a relationship. “When you have those things down as a man, you’ll naturally attract a feminine partner who complements your masculine energy,” he said.
“One of the biggest things stopping men from having better relationships with women is that most men aren’t in their masculine energy,” Pasco explained. “And I don’t mean being jacked, having a beard, and drinking whiskey—what society thinks being masculine is.”
In Pasco’s view, true masculinity means having a clear goal or vision in life and actively pursuing it, being clear about what you want, and offering safe, protective energy in a relationship. “When you have those things down as a man, you’ll naturally attract a feminine partner who complements your masculine energy,” he said.
That sometimes we just need a bit of quiet time to recharge—it’s not about pushing anyone away.
That we aren’t mansplaining every time we are explaining something… (but look at me, mansplaining mansplaining).
We like to be hugged.
Pasco advises men looking to improve their relationships with women to take responsibility for the challenges they face. “Many men aren’t taught how to communicate or express themselves, and that isn’t their fault—but it is their responsibility to do something about it,” he said.To make that happen, men should also have a strong idea of what they want. “You need to be clear with your intentions so you can step into your masculine energy and start attracting the kind of woman you want to be with,” he noted.Finally, Pasco encourages men to learn how to connect with women and open up emotionally. “Men say they want a meaningful relationship but then get scared when it’s time to be vulnerable enough to create that depth,” he shared. “It’s far better to take the risk of being vulnerable than to stay scared and never experience true intimacy.”
Pasco advises men looking to improve their relationships with women to take responsibility for the challenges they face. “Many men aren’t taught how to communicate or express themselves, and that isn’t their fault—but it is their responsibility to do something about it,” he said.
To make that happen, men should also have a strong idea of what they want. “You need to be clear with your intentions so you can step into your masculine energy and start attracting the kind of woman you want to be with,” he noted.
Finally, Pasco encourages men to learn how to connect with women and open up emotionally. “Men say they want a meaningful relationship but then get scared when it’s time to be vulnerable enough to create that depth,” he shared. “It’s far better to take the risk of being vulnerable than to stay scared and never experience true intimacy.”
A huge number of us are 1 bad day from offing ourselves.
Just because we like Disney, Acting, and Music doesn’t automatically mean we’re gay, please talk to us!!! 🥺.
Intentionally creating distance or being cold to see if a guy will chase and respond the “right way” might not send the signal you hope it does. Dudes are way more emotional about small details than you might think.
Using our own emotions against us is a bad idea. .
You should not trust women to give you advice about men.If you want to know how to treat a man, ask him. ASK THE MAN HIMSELF !Also don’t ask Reddit either. A woman looking a man in the eye and asking him a question will get a more authentic answer than reddit. every man is different and every encounter is situational.This sounds really complicated, but it is not.If you want a man to do something ask him to do it. If you want to know what a man wants ask him.
Men need physical affection. It’s how we communicate our feelings. Just watch a bunch of guys hanging out and count how often the touch, push, hit, grab, bump or wrestle. It will blow your mind when you start to see it. If you tell someone you love them 20 times a day but never touch them, they will constantly doubt that you do, in fact, love them. It doesn’t mean constant sex either (although most of us wouldn’t complain) but just little things throughout the day. Smack his a*s, hug him from behind when he isn’t expecting it, or (and this is God tier) run your fingers through his hair with his head on your lap.
Male struggles. Every time I have ever brought up the struggles men face in the modern world with a woman, she has played the victim card and told me (maybe not directly) that my problems don’t matter and my life is easy
I really am listening to everything you say every day. I am listening to every observation, every feeling, every anecdote, every joke, how your day went, how your sister is, how your boobs are too big and causing back issues, the crazy driver you saw on the way to work, how bland lunch was, the men in your workplace ignoring womens contributions and ideas, your coworker going through a divorce, how your hair hates the humidity, your nails are overdue for salon. I really am listening! I just don’t know which of those topics to latch on to for further discussion.
That your breast size does not equal your womanliness this has been like the biggest insecurity most girls i’ve dated have. i think you girls care more than guys care.
We love it when women make the first move.None of this “confessing” c**p, it’s a lot of pressure to have that kind of grand declaration thrown at you, just be direct: “I think you’re cute and I would like to go on a date”. No subtle hints and then wondering “why isn’t he asking me out?”.
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I wish more women would not confuse indifference with intimidated. Most men are indifferent to your income, your education, or your status we really could care less because we know it does not affect us at all.
Men are not stupid and insensitive creatures. We have feelings too. Sometime when yall females do hurtful things or say hurtful things to us it hurts us, even though we don’t point it out in front of your face, because we don’t want to escalate the issue. We don’t want to get into your gaslighting rabbit holes.
That I, as a man, am pretty much completely unable to get “men” to stop being violent. I am not violent. I have no friends who are violent. And my career as a masked crusader to fight crime would be very short indeed. So before you say that men are the ones who have to fix problems with sexual assault, r**e, domestic violence, and so on, please consider that.
We have more of the human experience in common with you than we don’t. If you feel a way about a thing, it’s not unlikely that we will experience something similar.Remember that every perceived difference between men and women informs one’s understanding of what men and women are, and that informs one’s understanding of who they are and how they are supposed to be, which informs one’s actions, which informs the perceived differences between men and women. It’s a pretty shrill feedback loop.
When i get asked if everything is alright, and i say yes, please accept the yes and dont try to force or interpret something and ask 4 more times. We will talk, but not when forced or pushed into the convsersation like that. It results in the opposite of what you want.
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In today’s world, men often struggle with forming meaningful relationships, partly due to societal pressures that dictate how they should behave and express themselves. The expectation to suppress emotions and maintain a façade of constant control is a common theme. This notion echoes the reflections shared in an online forum where men reveal the burdens of these outdated stereotypes and their impact on mental health.For insights into these stereotypes and their effects, you might find the discussions on hidden male perspectivesparticularly enlightening.
In today’s world, men often struggle with forming meaningful relationships, partly due to societal pressures that dictate how they should behave and express themselves. The expectation to suppress emotions and maintain a façade of constant control is a common theme. This notion echoes the reflections shared in an online forum where men reveal the burdens of these outdated stereotypes and their impact on mental health.
For insights into these stereotypes and their effects, you might find the discussions on hidden male perspectivesparticularly enlightening.
When we’re quiet, we’re not in a mood with you.Whatever absolutely vacuous nonsense is going through our minds at the time, if there’s anything going on there at all, take comfort that it’s really not about you.We’re probably just trying to solve perpetual motion with household objects, or wondering how long it’ll take for the ocean to wear Hawaii away.Let us have these times. It’s like meditation for us.
At 30 if you’re single still life is incredibly lonely.My life has been reduced to working 10s, gym, eat and sleep on the weekdays. Sometimes I feel like a rat. It’s like an endless grind for money and corporate and working on my body to attract someone.
Women want Us to share Our feelings with them, them they mock Us when We do!!!Whappingtime: Or think that they know our emotions better than we do, or act like we are monsters for expressing them in a way they don’t like that’s not directed at them.
Sex/physical intimacy is one of the biggest ways men emotionally connect with their spouse/SO and not just because we are “always horny.” Being physically desired is a feeling a lot of men don’t have, and it causes a lot of emotional issues. Try initiating, and he just might be emotionally available in the way you need.
Quiet is cool, also he wants his romantic partner to be deeply interested in what he’s doing if he tells them or not.penmanship2: I will say with my relationships, the women who were interested in me and showed me their interest in me every day made our relationship so much better and stronger. I had a woman who, if home when I got off work, would walk out the house and meet me before I got to the door just to throw her hands around my neck, give me a big kiss, and ask how my day was. Because of that, I wanted to talk to her and tell her. The little things mean a lot.
Oftentimes, they self-sabotage a really good thing and end up settling for what they truly think they deserve.
Men let women get away with WAY more than you let us get away with. You are not nicer, more polite, more empathetic, or more understanding than men, we just let you get away with things that you would not let us get away with.
That we like it when women check on us as much as we check on them. But they never do sadly.
That a lot of times, when you want us to listen and empathize instead of solve the problem, it comes off as just whining. Our instinct is to provide a solution to the problem so that the whining about it will stop.
That most nerdy guys aren’t going to go feral trying to get with you because you talk about liking the same stuff we do or interact with us sincerely in a way that we might expect from other guys or the ones we hang with. Also like many nerdy women, lots of guys are really emotionally attached to certain IP’s or nerdy media in general. So while some there are guys that are like that stereotype where they say everything new is woke or are never happy exist, the vast majority talking about newer stuff aren’t like that. Or really like the old neckbeard stereotypes.That us talking about struggles/problems that might be more unique to men isn’t some attack on what women or LGBTQ+ peeps go through for that matter. Or any talk about our negative experiences with women or anything related to women that might offend them. Most of the time we just want things to be better between men and women, and it can’t really be talked about and some women dig in their heels when it comes to personal accountability.We don’t need to be given the 101 of what women go through in every instance where it seems relevant. Especially with how every woman we know; (our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, friends, etc have dealt with varying levels of it). We are a whole lot more understanding, respectful, open, etc than you might think. We aren’t unsympathetic if we don’t respond to something like it’s our first time hearing about it every single time. We know that other people will cover that base, and want to be more direct with helping or something like that.
We like being desired.
For me it boils down to I want to be wanted too; women put in effort, they look nice, we say so, sometimes more than once. We put in effort and I might get a “handsome” thrown my way but that’s basically the end of it. I’ll buy flowers, flirt, hold doors, open car doors all of which is telegraphing I respect you, and I’m attracted to you; Attention lavished basically on the female. Apart from physical intimacy (maybe) what’s the reciprocation? I find that challenging, but maybe it’s just me.
Respecting some personal time or hangout with friends im not a prisoner dumba*s. And please dont make anything or everything a big deal sometimes it is what it is nothing more nothing less besides im just a simpleton.
That guys can’t message first on bumble.
How hard dating especially using dating apps is.I only yesterday had a conversation with a female friend about it and she first agreed, but than said that its also hard for woman. She used Hinge in her vacation and didnot get matched with the 3 guys she liked. She only got 250 requests from other guys.I am still mad at her for seriously trying to argue that she has it even remotely as hard as man.
That self improvement is real. It seems like a lot of women just exist and do what they want and then expect to be with men they like, being completely unaware that such men needed to become who they are, same way they should put effort into becoming women men like.
It’s really sad women are freaking out thinking they’re oppressed when they get everything handed to them. Men are just expected to give everything and get breadcrumbs as a thank you. It’s f**ked up, sorry.
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