We all know what a terrible thingabuseis. It not only damages a person’s body and overall health, but it creates mental scars too. And the thing about one’s mental health is that sometimes it likes to trick people. For example, convince them that something bad that’s happening to them, like abuse, isn’t so bad. And sometimes, even years later, they still can’t shake off this way of thinking.
A woman from today’s story is a perfect example of that – her dad used to abuse her, but she seems to underestimate his wrongdoings and blames her cousin for the way her abuser’s life turned out.
More info:Reddit
Sadly, physical abuse does not only leave physical scars, but mental ones too
Image credits:David Hinkle (not the actual photo)
They told this to their parents, who made sure to exclude the cousin’s dad from the whole family for good
Image credits:yang miao (not the actual photo)
Ever since, the uncle’s life has been miserable and the cousin keeps blaming the author for it
Image credits:Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
Image credits:u/SellAppropriate8199
One day, the author lost it and harshly told their cousin that they don’t regret “ruining” her abusive dad’s life
Bored Pandareached out to a counselor and therapistLia Huynh(check out herYouTube channel!) and family therapist Dr.Jane Greerto talk a little bit more about aggressive and abusive parents.
Lia said that there are a lot of different signs that parents are abusive towards children since abuse can not only beviolent, but emotional, sexual, or simply in a form of neglect. Dr. Greer said, “Recognizing signs of child abuse and neglect is crucial for early intervention and protection.”
Since today we’re largely talking about physical abuse, both our interviewees distinguished that typically there are signs that might suggest that the kids are getting physically abused.
Lia voiced that a sign could be a child having bruises, cuts, and any other kinds of injuries that occur frequently without an explanation and are in various stages of healing, which would suggest that the trauma has been repeated. Also, they might be hiding injuries and refusing or being hesitant to getmedicalcare.
Dr. Jane Greer agreed with these signs and added that physical neglect might also manifest in things such as an unkempt appearance, dirty clothes, and bulky clothing concealing the wounds even in warm weather. Also, a kid bullying others at school can suggest that they are imitating abusive behaviors experienced athome.
The OP’s scream brought the aunt into the room. When John left the room, she comforted the kids and asked them to not tell their mom about what just happened. She even bribed them with money and ice cream. The author agreed not to tell, accepting the bribe, but later on they still called their dad to tell him about what had happened.
Image credits:Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Dr. Greer said that when a victim of abuse or captivity develops a Stockholm syndrome, it is to minimize and negate the terror associated with their abuse or captivity: “By aligning themselves with the captor, they may feel a sense of control in an otherwise uncontrollable environment. This bonding mechanism serves as a coping strategy to diminish fear and perceive themselves as being in less danger.”
Lia Huynh agreed with this sentiment and also listed several other ways how Stockholm syndrome can apply to abusive parent-children relationships:
As Lia Huynh said, the person who suffered abuse in childhood needs to learn to let go of rationalizations and the denial of what happened, they need to face the reality and pain of the abuse, even if means wrestling with the fact that a person, who was supposed to unconditionally love them abused them: “Oftentimes, this is very hard to process because the dichotomy is so confusing and the cognitive dissonance is so intense.”
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