Getting involved with the goings-on of a partner and their ex, especially when there are kids in the equation, is probably not a goodidea. After all, unless you’re family, you don’t really have any say in matters best left to the exes.
More info:mumsnet
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Woman asked the web if she’s being unreasonable for being sick of her partner’s ex-wife’s demands
Image credits:freepik (not the actual image)
Woman claimed her partner already does loads for his kids
Image credits:Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual image)
In her opinion, his ex-wife should be paying more because she earns more, gets child benefit and universal credit help
Image credits:Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)
Ex-wife told the woman’s partner that she’s going out to dinner with a friend and won’t be home until 09:30 PM, a half hour later than he’d like to stay
Image credits:forestcookie
Man is constantly exhausted due to working long hours and looking after his kids, partner wants to tell him to put his foot down
According to the annoyed woman, her partner’s children (referred to as DC, or Dear Children, in the post) live primarily with his ex-wife, but he does plenty for them, taking them to school two mornings a week so the ex-wife can go to work early and miss the traffic. He also picks thechildrenup once or twice a week, depending on whether or not it’s his weekend – he has them every other weekend (EOW) for three nights.
Forestcookie goes on to add that her partner (referred to as DP, or Dear Partner, in the post) only earns 25k, while his ex-wife earns 40k and benefits from a 9-5 schedule with no late nights. While the man lives in a tiny rented one-bedroom flat, the ex has a 3-bedroom house with a garden and driveway, among other trimmings.
OP also said that the ex gets child benefit and universal credit (UC), which OP’s partner doesn’t see a penny of.
In OP’s opinion, the ex shouldn’t be going out anyway, because that would mean her partner would be alone in her house, something OP isn’t happy about. The man has offered to have the kids overnight on Wednesday nights, but the children want none of it. Now OP is asking if she’s being unreasonable for wanting to tell her partner to put his foot down.
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
When you’re the partner of a divorcedparent, you’re dating someone with a family, and their ex will always be a part of yourlifetogether, at least until the kids grow up and move out.
In herblogfor Partners In Men’s Health, authorMilawrites that, if your partner’s ex is causing you to have problems in yourrelationship, you may feel like jumping in and saving him from the drama.
Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D., is a New York State licensed clinical psychologist with offices in Manhattan and Westchester, NY.
In herpostfor Psychology Today, she writes that when your partner has responsibilities that precede you, what is best for you as a couple is to try to put as little pressure or expectation as you can on how your partner handles communication and connection with their ex.
The post goes on to add that a high-conflict ex will do what they will do and that you can only control how you handle your part of the relationship. While you can’t solve your partner’s issues with his or her ex, the more you understand your boundaries in the relationship, the better chance you have of successfully side-stepping any lasting impact of the high-conflict ex.
One reader commented, “If you don’t want to deal with ex wives and children, don’t date someone with an ex wife and children.”
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