To say thatrelationshipsare complicated is an understatement. Yes, there are plenty ofnicethings in a relationship – spending time together and having someone who loves you unconditionally, cares for you and that you know will always be there in times of need. However, they usually require quite a lot of work, compromises, accepting some hard truths and making complicated decisions.
For example, one Reddit user recently shared his story online after deciding tobreak upwith his girlfriend as he found out she had a one-night stand with hiscoworkerwhile making him wait longer until they were officially dating.
More info:Reddit
Finding out your partner has slept with your friend may rock a relationship
Image credits:Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
Man shares that he recently changed jobs and became friends with one guy, invited him over and he immediately recognized his girlfriend
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
After he left, the man found out that his girlfriend had a one-night stand with the other guy while dating him
Image credits:Alex Green (not the actual photo)
He noted that she had explained that their relationship was going to be special and she wanted to wait
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He then shared that he decided to break up with her as the whole situation made him feel not attractive to her
So, as it turned out, his girlfriend had a one-night stand with his coworker whiledatinghim. He later added that in his opinion, this doesn’t count ascheating,as it happened when they weren’t official. However, he added that it made him feel not attractive despite his girlfriend’s statements that he was special and she wanted more with him, so the whole situation led to a breakup.
Community members backed up the author and assured him that he was not being a jerk and his feelings matter. “The logic just doesn’t logic to me,” one user wrote. “Honestly I totally understand you, the best thing you did was break up with her I mean, if that’s what she does to people she says are special then she’s on another level of being disrespectful,” another added.
Image credits:Alena Darme (not the actual photo)
“The stereotype about one night stands is that it’s convenient sex with no strings. That’s the whole point of it,” sharedClaudia Six, PhD, who is a clinical sexologist, relationship coach,author, TEDx speaker and professor, withBored Panda. “The impact on a relationship is mostly on the partner who feels betrayed, understandably,” she added.
Speaking about the psychological effects on individuals who find out their partner has had a one-night stand, Dr. Six pointed out that the predominant feeling would be one of betrayal, but insecurity or a sense of inadequacy is possible too if one is inclined oneself unfavorably with previous lovers.However, she noted that in her opinion, the bigger issue is perceived betrayal. “Whether it’s insecurity about performance, or betrayal, these triggers can be addressed with a sex therapist.”
And finally, Dr. Six emphasized that if individuals feel insecurity and self-doubt after learning about their partner’s one-night stand, it can be an opportunity for growth. “They can take themselves on and handle their triggers which create distance in the relationship. If you identify behavior or reactions in yourself that create distance, it behooves you to address them, in order to increase connection with your partner.”
Community members backed up the man and assured him that he did the right thing
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